"Love is the extremely difficult realization that something other than oneself is real."

Iris Murdoch

Christmas had passed. New Years had gone by. Joy was spread all around as people spent time with those that they cared about the most. Resolutions were made and immediately broken, yet for two people this was not a time of looking forward to the future but instead a time that had to be used to reflect on the past. Very specifically a cold Friday night on the doorstep of a cold house. They were not two people who regretted the past. They cherished it.

Chantelle.

After she had shared her first kiss with Mr Wickers it was almost magical. Heat spread through her body as disbelief flew to her brain when she finally realised that it was really happening. She was sharing something special with the man she cared so deeply for. Then the shame hit her when she realised that he was not returning her affection. She was ashamed at her actions, ashamed at how immature she seemed, ashamed at how this would affect Mr Wickers and Miss Gulliver, ashamed at how this could affect Mr Wickers and her. So she stopped, dropped her head and headed inside her house. She then just sat on the floor with her ear to the door hoping to hear Mr Wickers leave or come to her but she heard nothing. There was complete silence that threatened to break her. She couldn't bare to be alone in the dark again, especially not after the grand statement she had just made. But she still didn't try to get up. All she wanted was to stand up, open the door and relive the moment but that was clearly not going to happen again. So she waited. 5 minutes passed and nothing happened. Then 10 minutes had passed and finally the slow but clear footsteps could be heard descending down the stairwell that led to her home. So she waited some more. She opened the door and shouted "Sir" but no response came. The wind just blew gently passed her as the empty void of loneliness once again surrounded her.

Alfie.

During the kiss Alfie could barely move any of his body as he just stood there hoping that no one could see them. Then the feeling started to spread through him as just as he was about to return the love that was being so clearly shown to him Chantelle broke the spell that had cast them together and retreated inside her house. So Alfie just stayed still for a bit longer because he wanted to reflect on what had just occurred. He was simply stunned that all of Chantelle's flirting was not an act or a joke but instead apparently had real feelings behind it. This caused pride to brew inside Alfie and he started a movement to open the door but stopped when his professional side came through. This could not happen not only for him but for everyone around him. If he went through with this and word got out, which it inevitably would at Abbey Grove, it could mean the end of his career and the end of her education. He could not risk losing the only connection he had to real friendships. There was also Rosie that he had to think about. Despite her turning him down and the fact that he had pushed her to the back of his mind ever since then he still had feelings for her, " Right ?", he asked himself mentally not wanting to believe that he would really sacrifice everything he had worked so hard for just for a moment of passion but he so dearly wanted to. He stood there waiting for something to happen, he willed for his body to move one way or another and end the moment then but nothing was responding. So he stood, waited in anticipation only to realise that it was over. His body heavily sloped over as his feet slowly pushed him away from the door. It was surely over. Surely.

General - 3 weeks later.

Alfie and Chantelle both returned to school for the beginning of a new term with conflicting feelings. They both knew that their actions were wrong but they still desired each other. They wanted to know how the other felt. So they did what anyone who wants the answer to a question does, they just asked.

"So, um, Chantelle, yeah, how was your holiday ?" Alfie asked out of class just trying to ease Chantelle into a conversation to make the entire problem a bit easier to bring up casually. " Let's just cut to the chase Sir, I know.." Chantelle was cut up when they noticed Fraser come up to them dressed as a panda. "What is happening here ?" they asked in unison, both of them just plain confused. "Well I thought that after last year's Chinese New Year problems that I would fully embrace the culture this time" Fraser responded smiling as he truly believed that this made him the best headmaster ever. " You are aware that Chinese New Year is at the end of January right ?" Alfie asked while Chantelle still had a bewildered face due to the entire subject. "Chinese New Year isn't the same as every new year ?" Fraser slowly said realising the stupid mistake he had made. Alfie just shook his head as Chantelle started to let out a small laugh. "I even ordered in some Asian food for today" Fraser uttered walking away form the pair which caused Chantelle to whisper " Do you want me to dress up in a sushi platter for you Sir ?" which resulted in Alfie heavily blushing due to the thought of that scene but he knew that he couldn't let that show so he replied "NO" in the most authoritative voice he could which still ended up sounding quite pathetic since part of him didn't really mean it. Chantelle just leaned up and whispered into his ear " You know where I'll be if you want some fish" before walking away to her first lesson as the bell rang signalling the lesson change. Alfie just stood plain faced barely able to hide his smile as he watched her walk off.

Still General - near the end of/after school.

Alfie caught up with Chantelle and asked her to meet in his class after school. Chantelle thought that this was a sign that Mr Wickers had finally given in to her so she bunked all of her last period and spent the entirety of it in the girls bathroom just trying to make herself look as good as possible. Alfie on the other hand spent his whole last period just trying to think of what he was going to say and how to say it so as not to encourage any situations that they would both probably regret.

Alfie.

Alfie was still sitting at his desk 15 minutes after the bell waiting for Chantelle and watching the seconds tick by. He was really considering leaving but, much like that fateful night, he could not convince himself to leave yet.

Chantelle.

Chantelle was in the hall and she was 15 minutes behind was meant to have met with Sir so she had asked Stephen to give her a quick pep talk to prepare her but for whatever reason he still hadn't shown. " Fuck it" she told herself, storming down the corridor towards the classroom, "I guess if you want something done, do it yourself". She charged into his room and…

Alfie.

Alfie's jaw nearly came off its hinges when he saw Chantelle walk into the room. Since she had clearly spent a long time working on herself she looked absolutely amazing but Alfie quickly steadied himself when he remembered what this meeting was for. " Requesting this meeting was a signal in itself" he thought to himself working out why she had dolled up so much.

Chantelle.

She noticed his dumbfounded look and quickly capitalized on it by asking " So we doing this then ?" in the most seductive voice she could do. She desperately wanted him to say yes because it was all she had been able to think about for the past hour but…

Alfie.

Alfie nearly squealed in fear when Chantelle asked him that but he readied himself yet again and said " Chantelle I didn't call you here for that" while doing some hand motions in her direction. " Instead I asked you to come here because I think that we need to have a serious discussion about some past events".

General.

Chantelle weakly replied in disappointment " Okay" while wiping her eyes in order to hide the tears that had formed due to her favourite teacher's denial of her. " Now Chantelle, I believe that you might be going after me because you look at me as some kind of father figure to you since I know how unstable your home life has been so it is understandable."

Chantelle.

That caused Chantelle to sigh in annoyance and a bit of anger, " How dare he think that I am that shallow" she thought to herself as she expressed herself to him " Sir I do not think of you as some sort of father replacement, but I think of you as the man that cares, the man that understands me, but clearly I was wrong" she could barely keep eye contact as tears were now welling up and her strength was slowly fading.

General.

"It's just that you are the only man in my life that has ever actually cared and not just wanted to get in my pants." "It is just a bit strange for me but I think I might love you Al.. Sorry, Mr Wickers." She still couldn't bare to say his first name. She still didn't believe that she deserved to despite everything that they had recently gone through. Her confession caused her to break down completely and she spent the next 5 minutes weeping uncontrollably as Mr Wickers tried his best to console her without getting too close knowing that if they were found like that, there could be unnecessary complications. When she stopped Alfie stared into her eyes and told her " Look Chantelle I understand what you are going through but surely you can see this is wrong". The close contact sparked something inside of her and she let everything go and kissed him for only the second time.

Alfie.

When Chantelle leaned in and connected her lips with his Alfie was, at first, very apprehensive but.

Eventually he let go.

He gave in.