CHAPTER VII
- The lab -
Officially twenty-four hours had passed since Jo's attack, and regardless of their best efforts the team hadn't been able to make headway. In the late afternoon, they had been obligated to release their only two suspects, and it didn't seem like the situation was about to clear up any time soon. Even more so, the case had become so hopeless, that the entire team had decided to take a couple hours away from work to get some sleep.
Even Mac hadn't been able to stay focused during the day, and his fear of failure had become the better of him. For the first time, in a very long time, his body had collapsed under the stress. Instead of going home after his breakdown at the precinct, he had retired to the leather couch in Jo's office where he could still feel her presence around him. He hadn't told anyone of his team, his friends, about his miserable state of being. He had to be as steady as a rock for them, that's what they all needed. Not some wretched, scared animal, hiding away in a distant corner. It didn't matter how miserable he felt, he wouldn't let it show. He just couldn't. That'd be nothing like him. But the thought of not being able to punish the person who did this to Jo, made his mind spin. He tried not to think about it too much, but failed miserably with every passing second. How could he ever face her again if he'd fail her like that? He had wished for Jo to be by his side, because she'd know what to do. She always did. She completed him.
It took him two and a half hours to finally fall asleep. However, his much-needed rest was short-lived, as a slightly vibrating noise started to fill the room. Mac tried to open his eyes to detect where the irritating sound was coming from, but his eyelids felt like they were glued together. He reached for his pants and clumsily retrieved his cell phone out of his back pocket.
"Mac Taylor." He mumbled under his breath, while trying to sit up straight on the couch.
"Mr. Taylor," The voice at the other end of the line began. "This is Dr. Geralds, Jo's treating physician. Sorry to disturb you at this time of night." He apologized.
"No, no, that's okay." Mac cleared his throat. He glanced over to his watch, and it slowly dawned on him that only three hours had passed since he had last closed his eyes. He squeezed his eyelids together, and desperately tried to ignore the bursting headache that was beginning to push against his skull. "How is she?" Mac anxiously asked, only hoping for the best. It might only have been twenty hours ago since he had last laid eyes on Jo, but it seemed like an eternity. He had grown used to seeing her every day of the week, and to all the little moments between them.
"Well, I'm glad to inform you her memory has surfaced." Dr. Geralds exclaimed optimistically.
"Really?" Mac couldn't believe what he had just heard. "That's great news." He stood up and started pacing around Jo's office.
"It is." Dr. Geralds confirmed. "I guess the imposed bed rest has really paid off. If you'd like to come see her in the morning…" He continued.
"No," Mac quickly interrupted. "No, no…" He softly whispered again. He could not wait another second.
"I don't see why it should be a problem to…" Dr. Geralds began, trying to get an explanation out of Mac.
"I was hoping to come over tonight." Mac clarified, reaching for his jacket dangling on Jo's office chair. He bit his lip, subconsciously anticipating a possible negative answer.
"Well…" Dr. Geralds began.
"Look," Mac started walking through the empty hall towards the elevator. "It would mean the world to me." He tried one last time. If begging was the only way to get to see Jo, than that's what he was about to do. He didn't care anymore. "And to my team." He added, swallowing the big lump that had accumulated in his throat.
"I suppose it would be okay if you'd come over in the next hour." Dr. Geralds finally gave in.
"Already on my way." Mac informed, hitting the elevator button as hard as he could.
- The hospital -
The doctors had moved Jo from intensive care to a quieter recovery room. As Mac wandered around the dim lit hallways, he wondered how long it would take for Jo to be discharged out of this hospital. Mac couldn't wait to get her out of here, and maybe take her home with him. He'd love to take care of her. As he entered her room, Jo was still peacefully asleep in bed. Her face and neckline had turned bluer, and the parts of her face where she had taken the horrible beating had turned into a rougher shape. She looked broken, but still so beautiful and serene in Mac's eyes. Mac carefully crept forward into her room, but awoke her by hitting his foot against a table. "Hey…" Jo whispered, slowly rousing out of her deep sleep.
"Hey." Mac slid up a chair next to her. Seeing her again, made his heart fill up with gladness.
"No flowers?" She spoke heavily disappointed. Mac didn't realize she was just mocking him, and his face turned in a shameful white. How could he be so stupid? "I…I…" Mac stuttered.
"Oh Mac," Jo quickly interrupted. "I was just kidding." She scanned his face thoroughly and soon realized something had to be seriously wrong for Mac to be so contrite and overly sensitive. "Are you okay?" Jo asked concerned.
Mac felt defeated, and amazed at the same time. It had taken her merely ten seconds to see right through him. He couldn't hide anything from her. "I should be asking you that question." He quickly tried to divert the question.
"I'm lying in a hospital bed. I think it's fairly obvious how I'm doing. Now answer my question." She persisted.
Mac's eyes fell to the ground, as his eyes became heavy with tears. Damn it. Keep it together. Don't break down. Not now. He didn't know how to tell her that he and the team had gotten nowhere. She had trusted in him, like she always did. And now he had betrayed that trust. He had failed her. But there was just no way of trying to hide it from her. "Mac, look at me." She spoke.
"I…" Mac let out a heavy sigh. "The case has come to a deadlock." He admitted.
"I'm sure you'll figure it out. Measure once, cut twice, right?" She chuckled. "I believe in you."
"I know." Mac said. That's what makes this so damn hard.
"So, how's your memory?" Mac quickly changed the subject. The atmosphere in the room immediately turned to a darker shade as Mac noticed how Jo's face collapsed in sadness. "It all came back." Jo spoke as her gaze floated outside the small hospital windows. "Unfortunately." She started picking at her blanket, trying to push out the pain of all the bad memories. Mac brought out the mug shots of the two suspects that they had held in custody earlier today. "Do you recognize these boys?" He held up the photos.
Jo turned her head, and threw a glance at the two Polaroid's. She nodded. "Ye-yes," she stammered. "Those are the boys that I ran into on the subway." She turned her head towards Mac. "I'm guessing they didn't confess?"
"No," Mac sighed. "They have an alibi." Mac laid the photos on the nightstand. "Not a watertight alibi, but we didn't have enough evidence to prove they're guilty."
"I'm sorry." Jo said.
"Your testimony is the only thing that could help us put them away." Mac continued. "Are you sure that these boys attacked you?" Jo slightly nodded, but not convincingly enough for Mac to believe it. "Are you absolutely sure?" Jo fell quiet, as she squeezed her blanket even harder. "Oh, Mac..." Her voice broke into pieces, and tears started accumulating under her eyelids. "It all happened so fast. They put a bag over my head." A single tear rolled down her cheek.
"So, how were you able to see their faces?" Mac asked softly.
Jo looked away again. She was so angry with herself for not knowing.
"You didn't?" Mac asked rhetorically.
"I only felt them." Jo spoke in a low voice. Mac swallowed hard, as it started to dawn on him how hard Jo must have suffered in that alley. He should have been there to protect her. "It may only have lasted twenty seconds," Jo continued. "But it seemed hours." She blinked away her tears. "I thought I was going to die. I really did. I was so relieved when they ran away."
"What did you do next?" Mac tried to wrap his mind around the whole situation.
"Apparently I called 911, but I can't remember." Jo claimed.
"But you remember all the rest?" Mac's question sounded judgmental, even though he didn't intended it to.
"I'm sorry. I am not really helping. I am a lousy witness, aren't I?" Jo felt ashamed. As an experienced detective she should know better.
Mac laid his hand on Jo's arm and gently squeezed it. He locked eyes with Jo, and threw her an apologetic smile. Mac pulled out his cell phone, and swiftly dialed Adam's number. "Adam, go to the transmission center and request an audio copy of Jo's 911 call." He started "Thanks." Mac sat down in his chair. Jo was looking at the photos again, and he could discern the disgust in her eyes.
Mac took hold of Jo's shoulder and squeezed it, but was stopped by Jo's bitter cry of pain.
"Au-aaau…" She held still and waited for the stabbing pain to subside.
"I'm sorry." Mac immediately apologized.
"That's okay," Jo slowly reached for Mac's hand, and carefully enveloped it in hers. Her thumb gently stroked the back of his hand, as he intertwined his fingers with hers. The feel of her skin sent colt shivers trough Mac's spine, and he couldn't help but notice that there was something so titillating about Jo's touch. "It'll get better…" she softly whispered. They were having one of their moments again, in which their attraction violently flared up and bursted out of its tight confines. They were so close, almost breathing in each other's being.
Their eyes interlocked and a bolt of electricity raged through the room. In that brief instant, there had been an implicit consent, a muted exchange of I love you's. No words had been spoken, but they knew. They could feel the bliss of their mutual love creeping under their skin and into their bones. The imminence of their yearning made their blood rush through their hot-boiled body.
But again, the moment passed all to soon, and their radiating joy quickly slid away through their fingers, like dusty sand through an hourglass. Security gave away to fear again, and the love-light that had shone upon them faded into non-existence. They were back to reading each other's expressions again. Did I really see what I think I saw? Or am I just imagining it? Could it be that she feels the same way? Mac figured that Jo probably felt extremely vulnerable, and that she was merely in need of a friendly shoulder. Nothing more. What Mac didn't realize was that he was too afraid to see what was right in front of him. So he shut his eyes once again, and let blindness come over him. The blindness he had grown accustomed to over the years. He led go of her hand, and silently gave up hope of ever becoming one with her. The fear always got the better of him. That's what the lonely years in social isolation did to him.
Mac was so caught up in his whirling thoughts that he didn't hear his phone ringing. "Mac…" Jo tried to bring him back. "What?" Mac asked confused. "Your phone is ringing." Jo said. It took Mac a few moments, before he finally reached in his pocket and retrieved his cell phone. "Taylor." He answered the phone. "Adam..." Mac stood up from his chair and started to pace around the room. "Are you sure?" Mac glanced over to Jo. "Okay." Mac hung up the phone. He stepped over to Jo's bed, and threw her a caring smile. The room fell silent for a while, as neither of them knew how to restore the serene atmosphere that Mac had broken off just minutes ago. The moment was gone.
"I'd better get going." He broke the long-stretched silence between them.
"No," Jo started protesting. "You don't have to." She reached out for him.
"It's almost midnight." Mac said. "You need your rest." He explained.
Jo felt a wave of panic crashing into her abdomen when she saw how Mac was already making his way to the door. She couldn't believe this was happening. Just minutes ago the air between them had gotten so heated, that it had felt like his lips were finally going to crash into hers. She wanted it so bad. They had never been so close to finally giving in to each other. But now the moment had fled, and she wasn't sure if it was ever going to turn back. Jo mentally kicked herself for not making a move, but then again, Mac obviously didn't feel the same way. Sooner or later she'd have to come to terms with that.
"Goodnight." Mac displayed one of his cutest smiles. I love you.
"Goodnight, Mac." I love you.
- Author's note -
I put really great effort into this chapter, so it would be nice of you to tell me what you thought. Your reviews are like a reward to me. I would like to thank the people who already commented on my writing. I've kept your tips in mind while writing this chapter. Note that I'm a non-native English speaker, so I could still make some mistakes without even knowing it.
In the next chapter you are finally going to find out what happened to Jo. So stay tuned, and find out if Mac will be able to build up the strength to put an end to their mutual insecurities and finally tell Jo how he feels about her. I'll try to hurry up. Thank you for your loyalty.
