Authors Note - Yoo Hoo! I'm back! With answers! (although several of you have already worked out where this is going) A word of warning, there's one really really jarring moment in this one where a character who has spent this whole fic being out of character pushes the limits just a little bit further (yes Ms Cabot, I mean you). I am aware that my depiction of her is blee in this fic but I think she's kind of fun this way! As ever if you could R&R please I'd love you forever!

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I thought things had come to a head on New Years Eve, when my angry confrontation with Elliot had led to a truce, a return to how things are meant to be for the two of us.

In actual fact, the real crunch point came six weeks later.

It wasn't a day that started well. For reasons too mundane to go into, considering the level of drama we're dealing with here, Alex, Huang and myself were headed out to Rikers to talk to a perp on remand. Legal, psychological, criminal type reasons. That's all you need to know. Alex was driving and picked me up last, meaning I got left with the back seat of the car. No chances of that being an accident since our resident psychologist still hadn't got round to breaking it to our resident man eating ADA that the man eating concept was one that he was also familiar with.

So there I am, in the back seat of the car which makes me want to vomit at the best of times, feeling increasingly nauseous, listening to Alex trying to verbally browbeat Huang in taking her out on a date. He kept ducking and diving his way out of it, and in the end, as I felt the bile rising up my throat, I hollered at Alex to stop the car and as I bolted out of it to throw up on the side of the road I offered them a parting shot that I hoped would shut her up.

"Alex. George is gay."

I should have known however, that Alex would not give up her idea of domestic bliss easily and as I was throwing up my morning Danish, she came up behind me, clearly deciding my revelation was more important than my dignity.

"Olivia, that's so childish. I know he can be a bit shrinky but is 'gay' the best insult you can manage?"

I threw up one last time, feeling like I might pass out at any minute and then turned to face her, "Alex, he's actually gay. As in sleeps with other men gay. So please, shut the hell up?"

There was silence, and then, if Alex had been a cartoon character a light bulb would have appeared over her head as the truth finally sunk in. She laughed slightly, looking amused, "Oh, that explains that then. I wondered why he was playing so hard to get."

I'd have been laughing myself were it not for the fact that at that moment another wave of nausea hit and I found myself throwing up yet again, and much to my distress, when I eventually composed myself, I found Alex still standing there, a second light bulb apparently having joined the first. I groaned inwardly, hoping and praying that she wasn't thinking what I thought she was thinking, but unfortunately for me, she was.

"And the fact you're being sick at 8.30am, can that also be explained? Can that be explained by a certain red dress and the hickeys you had on your neck the morning after the night before?"

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a tissue, wiped around my mouth, being careful to avoid her curious gaze. "I don't know what you're talking about."

She snorted, stepping closer to me, and swiftly and stealthily sweeping in to squeeze my left breast through my jacket, causing me to wince in pain, yelping as I did so. She raised her eyes, shaking her head knowingly,

"Morning sickness? Sensitive breasts? I think a jury would return a unanimous verdict on this one wouldn't they Detective Benson?"

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I'd realised I was pregnant a couple of weeks previously, but I guess I'd been ignoring it, just hoping it might go away. At that moment though, with vomit splattered around my feet and Alex in full on prosecuting attorney mode, I had to face the truth.

I knew it was my own fault. I'd stayed at work too late on Christmas Eve to get to the drug store before it closed and so the prescription Huang had written for me had just stayed in my jacket pocket until it hadn't been worth going to get it at all. I'd done a lot of hoping, a lot of praying, but apparently it hadn't worked.

I was having Elliot's child.

It was a huge realisation to come to, particularly at 8.30 in the morning, in a lay by, with hormones raging. I looked at Alex, and without warning I felt my eyes fill with tears.

She reached out and gave me a hug, being careful not to get sick on her Christian Laboutin shoes. "It'll be ok." she said softly, "We'll go out tonight. You, me, you on mocktails, me on cocktails, big debates and big decisions ok?"

"Are you sure?" I was grateful for the suggestion, I don't think I'd ever needed a friend like I did in that moment.

She nodded, "Sure, it's the least I can do. I'm the one who got you into this mess." she glanced back towards the car, from in which Huang was eyeing us suspiciously, then back at me, "Is he really gay?"

My turn to nod, feeling slightly guilty for breaking it to her so insensitively especially considering how nice she was being to me. "Sorry Alex."

She shrugged, pretending it was no big deal although I knew that to her it probably was. To her credit though, she didn't let it show, instead giving me a wry smile. "Tell you what Olivia," she said, still smiling, "lets bin the Christmas party next year. I'm starting to think it was a dumb idea."

We headed back to the car and went on our way, arriving at Rikers soon afterward. But while the rest of the journey went without incident, the same could not be said of our encounter with the perp.

Huang and I saw him together, in an interview room, while Alex watched from behind two way glass. While we were waiting for the prison guards to fetch him I glanced at Huang, feeling pretty guilty once again, this time at having betrayed his confidence. I smiled at him weakly, "Sorry."

To my surprise though, he grinned, "You did me a favour. It saved me doing it. She ok?"

I didn't get chance to respond before the perp was brought into the room, and Huang launched straight into super psych mode. He's pretty good, but sometimes too good really, like in this case. He got the perp completely nailed from the word go and he got pretty riled up as a result. Pretty riled up, pretty fucking quickly. So quickly, that when he lost it, the guard didn't stand a chance of stopping him. He'd pushed the table that separated us and him, into Huang and I quickly and furiously before any of us realised what was happening. Huang reacted quicker than I did and managed to get to his feet but not me… I was already feeling sluggish from all the vomiting so when the table came my way I just sat there, took its full force right in my stomach. I shrieked as my chair upended and I fell to the floor hitting my back as I did so. The perp launched forward all set to assault me, although his guard managed to stop him. Not that it mattered, the damage had already been done.

I lay on the floor, pain searing through my abdomen, back and legs. Huang came to help me up but Alex was at my side in seconds, barging him out of the way.

"Don't get up." She said gently, she placed her hands on my stomach and looked at me questioningly, "Are you in any pain?"

I started to cry instantly. Not my usual style I admit, but there were hormones involved. Hormones and the crashing realisation that I might lose the baby I hadn't known until that moment that I wanted desperately. As Alex slowly helped me sit up, I heard a groan from beside me and when I looked for its source I found Huang shaking his head disapprovingly, clearly having put the pieces together.

"You didn't take the pills. You were that desperate to have a mini Elliot that you didn't take the pills. Interesting move Olivia."

I opened my mouth to protest, to deny his claims, but I didn't get chance before Alex cut in,

"Its not the time Big Gay George. Stop shrinking her and call 911." She looked from him to me, "There's a little tiny life at stake."

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The ambulance ride was hell. You know when people talk about near death experiences, when they find themselves reliving significant moments from their lives just before they die. This was like that. Only worse. I kept seeing moments from my baby's life, his birth, his first birthday party, first day at school, his teenage years, graduation, wedding day, you name it, I saw it.

I was so convinced he was dying. That the pervert had killed him.

Luckily, I had Alex with me, holding my hand, taking care of me. Apart from a brief moment outside the prison where she stepped aside to let the paramedics take care of me, she never left my side. During the journey, as I was rushed on a trolley into the ER, as the doctor did an ultrasound scan. A scan that showed my baby hadn't gone. He'd survived.

It should have been the happiest moment of my life. The baby that I now knew I wanted to keep, was alive. He was little more than a kidney bean on the monitor but he was alive. And he was a he. My son. I didn't get that from the screen, that was mothers intuition.

My son was alive. I should have been on top of the world. And for about 15 seconds I was.

And then Elliot came charging into the cubicle and the world stopped as his gaze fell on the ultrasound wand being moved over my stomach and then moved to my precious little kidney bean on the screen. And then…

He walked away. And my world came crashing down.

Alex was 'on it' instantly, throwing her arms around me, telling me it was ok.

It wasn't ok. It was a long way from ok.

I glared at her, "What the hell is he doing here?"

She sighed, her guilt written all over her face to such an extent that what came next was unnecessary, "I panicked. It was his baby, I thought you were having a miscarriage. I thought he should be here."

I looked at the empty space on the floor of my cubicle that Elliot's departure had left behind.

"Well, you know what Alex, Elliot obviously thought otherwise."

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