Casually, Tony and Gibbs walked into the living room.
Jack looked up from the TV at the two men.
"Um, I'm heading out." Tony said quickly.
"Sure you don't wanna stay?" Jack glanced back and forth between Tony and his son. "There's left over chili."
"No, no." Tony shook his head. "Thanks though, I um, have a few things to get done before tomorrow."
"Sure." Jack nodded.
Tony and Gibbs both tried to calmly walk through the living room, just as they were about to step out of the room towards the door Jack spoke again.
"I can go to a hotel if you two need to be alone tomorrow night."
Gibbs stopped, his eyes closed and he ran his hand down his face. Damn Abby! He opened his eyes and Tony was standing there trying not to laugh.
"Better yet." Jack added. "Tony could get a damn double bed so you could have your fun over there."
Tony's eyes went wide and his mouth fell open.
"Not so funny when it's aimed directly at you is it?" Gibbs smirked.
"And one of you has a condom in your wallet right?"
Gibbs dropped his head back.
"Although, you probably both better have a condom." Another pause. "I mean if you-"
"ENOUGH!" Gibbs hollered. He rubbed his forehead. How had it gotten to this point?
"Have fun with him tonight." Tony laughed as he hurried towards the door. He pulled open the door, stepped out onto the porch and turning around to make a face at Gibbs. Shocked when he almost slammed straight into the older man, Tony lost his balance and started to stumble backward. To stop his fall he grabbed a hold of Gibbs' arms, shoving them both back against the door, and his body fell with full force against Gibbs.
The air rushed from Gibbs' lungs with a huff, his body pinned between the door and Tony.
"Are you okay?" Although concerned, Tony couldn't help himself, he started laughing.
"Yeah." Gibbs coughed as he took a couple deep breaths then grinned. "Not a bad way to have the air knocked out of you."
"You must have it real bad." Tony chuckled and patted Gibbs' chest.
"Did I not make that clear enough?"
Tony's fingers picked at Gibbs' shirt. "Yeah, sorta." He forced a smile as he stood up and took a step back "Can we finish this conversation tomorrow night?"
Gibbs nodded, trying to hide the fear that clutched at his heart. They had walked through the door, broken that first intense moment of sexual tension between them and now everything could easily fall apart.
Again, Tony wanted to say something, knew the silence, saying nothing, was worse than saying the wrong things. "Night." He managed to say as he hurried down the steps.
"Night Tony." Gibbs stepped inside and closed the door.
Reaching the driver's side door, Tony put the key in the lock, then stopped. Hand still on the key, he banged his head against the car. "Damn it." He groaned as he turned around and slumped against the door. "Why didn't you just tell him?" He chastised himself. "Now he thinks you're backing off or that you think this is all a mistake." Letting out a deep groan, he laid his head back and looked up at the sky. "You just let an amazing man, a gorgeous man, who is honestly and truly in love with you walk away thinking, you could give a shit less. How stupid are you?"
"That depends."
Tony's head shot up at the sound of the voice. He could barely make out the shadowy form of the man before him, but he didn't need to see him to know exactly who was standing there. He suddenly spewed forth a breathless montage of thoughts. "I'm not backing off and I don't think this was a mistake and you are amazing and gorgeous and I know that you love me and that scares the shit out of me. It scares me because it's you and you're my boss, my friend and a man. And I have never thought of being with a man, I mean never ever, not in boarding school or college, or ever, until you and I wanna be with you and then that scares me even more, because what if I don't like it or it doesn't turn me on because I have some weird idea of what it's supposed to be like and it turns out to be nothing like that. What if you kiss me and I don't feel anything. I mean I was definitely turned on by you kissing and biting my neck, but that's different right? I mean even Cher says it's in his kiss. When if you kiss me and I'm like, there is nothing there, not a damn thing. Then what happens? Or worse yet we make love, have a relationship and it ends, badly. Do we go back to being friends? Could you do that, could you be okay if it didn't work out between us?" Tony tried to fight back the emotion threatening to overwhelm him, he took a deep breath. "Because I can't lose you, you are one of the most important people in my life and I can't-"
Tony's babbling was abruptly stopped by warm lips crashing down upon his, then fingers winding into the hair on the back of his and holding his head still. The touch somehow made him open his mouth, close his eyes and kiss back. How could that simple action of hand to head, command such an unconscious reaction from him? Seconds later he was dizzy, overwhelmed by his senses trying to process the barrage of information. His senses became acutely focused. Everything faded away, except the man kissing him. The smell of old spice, wood, and the natural scent of the man. The thundering sound of his own heartbeat was suddenly matched by the sound of Gibbs' thumping heart against his chest. The two erratic rhythms quickly synchronizing as if they would never again be able to function separately. The taste was intoxicating, a hint of beer that swiftly faded into the flavor that truly was Gibbs, coffee. Strong, bold, acidic and for the first time Tony understood how people could drink their coffee black, because savoring that taste from Gibbs' mouth was sweeter than any sugar enriched drink he'd ever had.
Still the most power sensation was that of touch. The feel of Gibbs' hands, the one locked in his hair, the other clinging gently to his hip. The surprisingly soft lips that knew the perfect amount of pressure to apply, the rough texture of the tongue that skillfully explored every minute piece of his mouth then mingled with his own, not waging battle but demanding equality. Finally, the increasing warmth of their bodies slightly pressed together. His whole body was on fire and he could see the flames engulfing them behind his closed eyes. Then all of a sudden he was being drawn back into the world around him and he desperately tried to fight back. He clutched at the body against him trying to keep every inch of them touching. He tried to hold onto the lips that were suddenly slipping away, to draw them back to him and for a moment it seemed to work, but then they were pulling away again. His mind screamed at him 'DON'T LET THIS END!' but it was too late...it was already gone and only the memory of it remained.
Gibbs forehead rested on Tony's as he gasped for breath after his struggle to break free of the kiss that Tony refused to let end.
Tony's hands clutching at the shirt covering Gibbs' chest, something he didn't even remember doing. He took a couple deep breathes. "Okay so there is absolutely something there." He panted. "I mean-"
Gibbs let out a soft chuckle.
Unclenching his fingers from Gibbs' shirt, Tony let his hands rest against the older man's chest, feeling the rapid thumping of Gibbs' heart under his palms. "This doesn't mean I'm not scared about the rest."
"I know." Gibbs kissed Tony's temple. "One step at a time."
Tony sighed. "Okay."
Gibbs pressed his lips against Tony's ear. "I have my own fears too."
For some reason that made Tony feel better. Knowing the man he saw as fearless, had some of his own calmed him.
Taking a step back, Gibbs smiled. "I'll see you in the morning."
"Yeah." He turned the key in the door and climbed inside.
"Be safe." Gibbs said as the door closed and the car started. He watched as it backed out of the driveway and disappeared down the road. Walking calmly to the porch, he paused at the door. "Wow." He smirked as he ran his hands down his face, his body still humming from that kiss. The exhilaration of the kiss faded and he groaned. Great now he had to deal with his father.
Walking in as quietly as possible, Gibbs' first thought was to just go upstairs and ignore his father all together, but he wasn't tired and all he would do was to lay up there and stare at the ceiling. He needed to be occupied and that meant the basement, which meant facing his father. Stepping into the living room, hisfather's head was back, eyes closed as some commercial for body wash rang out from the TV. What was the likelihood that his father really was a sleep?
"I'm not asleep."
Gibbs rolled his eyes.
"If you two need me out of the house so badly I could stay with Ziva or Ducky."
"You don't need to stay anywhere." Gibbs opened the fridge and grabbed a beer.
"Then what's with the dinner."
"Just thought it might be nice."
"Yeah right." Jack snickered. "You and Tony have plans?"
"Dinner, but not here."
"See I told you, the man needs a double bed, he's in his forties who the hell sleeps in a single bed at that age! If he had a double bed you wouldn't have to end up over here."
Walking out of the kitchen and through the dining room, Gibbs stopped and leaned against the wall into the living room. "I'm not sure if I should be offended or proud that you think I could and would sleep with someone on the first date."
"Second date?" Jack smirked.
Gibbs rolled his eyes.
"It's not like Tony's some random guy you picked up at a bar." Jack chortled. "You've known the man for over a decade and loved him for almost as long. You should have slept with him years ago."
Another eye roll.
"Is there a problem?" Jack cocked his head. "You know, I mean." He gave his son a questioning look. "They have medication for that kinda thing."
"What!" Gibbs' eyes went wide. "NO, that is definitely not a problem." He rubbed his forehead. "Jesus, dad."
"Tony?"
"No!" Gibbs balked. "No one has that problem!"
"Good." Jack waited as if expecting his son to offer further explanation. He should have known better. Instead, he concentrated on his son's expression and the contemplative look in the blue eyes. "I get why Tony's scared, but you, not sure about that."
Gibbs' brow knitted. "And why do understand Tony being scared?"
"Come on. He's never been with a man, gotta be kinda scary even if you do want it."
"I thought Tony never talked to you about that?" Gibbs remembered asking his father if Tony had talked to him.
"He didn't have to tell me." Jack snickered. "If Tony had been with men before, you two would have already slept together."
"What does that mean?" Gibbs asked annoyed.
"Jethro, really?" Jack laughed. "With the ladies, Tony's a skilled hunter. He knows what he likes, knows the hunting grounds, knows exactly the right moves to make." He smirked. "And most of all he knows the perfect prey. He draws them in effortlessly, like a moth to a flame, then he strikes. He's that all American pretty boy, with a hint of mischief in his eyes. The kinda man a woman knows she shouldn't want, because he won't be there long, but she just can't help herself."
"Yeah." Gibbs didn't need to be reminded of Tony's "hunting skills" with women.
"I know you know all of this. The point is-" Jack sighed. "If Tony had any experience with men, he would have already hunted you down and had you for breakfast, lunch and dinner."
Gibbs couldn't help it he laughed, then shook his head. "You're probably right."
"There's no probably about it." Jack corrected. "He trusts the feelings, he knows it's real, but he has no clue what to do with it all."
Giving a slight nod, Gibbs shuffled slowly towards the chair by the couch, placed his beer on the table and dropped down in the chair.
"So what is it Jethro?" Jack knew his son had his own apprehensions.
Running his hands through his hair, Gibbs leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "He asked me, if we do this and it doesn't work, could I go back to being friends." He took a deep breath. "I'm not sure I could." Then blew it out and shook his head. "I don't think I could handle losing him." His jaw clenched. "Or seeing him with someone else-especially another man."
Jack saw the green hue rage in his son's blue eyes. The Gibbs men were a jealous breed when it came to the ones they love. "Then it's simple." He paused. "Make it work."
"Thanks." The word dripped with sarcasm as Gibbs slumped back into the chair. If only it were that easy.
"It is that easy." Jack gave his son a reassuring smile. "Because when you want something, really want something, nothing can stop you."
Gibbs looked at his father with baffled respect. He'd spent so much time angry with his father that he'd forgotten how alike they were, not as alike as Tony and Senior, but he definitely had inherited some of his best traits from Jack. The ability to read people, how to weave a story together, in his case used more to solve cases than to spin a yarn. His charm was all Jackson Gibbs, although he reserved his charm for a chosen few. His father was always charming. Then of course there was looks. Everyone said he looked like his father, but then no one had anyone else to compare him to. He'd never showed anyone a picture of his mother. Not that it would have mattered, he really did look more like his father, especially as he aged. The obvious blue eyes and that piercing Gibbs stare.
He normally would have said he had his father's crooked smile, but he amended that now. That night after Tony had seen the picture of his mother, the Italian has said he had his mother's smile. When Tony went upstairs, he'd searched the small pocket within his wallet for the picture of his mother he kept buried there. She was sitting on the steps of the porch at their home in Stillwater. She was looking off to the right at something in the yard, it was probably him playing. Her curly hair was pushed back behind her ears making her bright crooked smile even more prominent in the picture. Tony was right, it was definitely a mirror image of his own crooked smile. Although, his father had a crooked smile, it was different. It was the sentiment behind the smile that said it all. His father's smile was always given with a hint of playful mischief, his mother's with a hint of melancholy. His own smile echoed the melancholy.
"Thankfully you got the best of both of us." Jack always knew when Jethro was thinking about his mother because Jethro most looked like his mother when he was thinking of her with that melancholic expression.
"That I did." Gibbs sighed with a smile. It never occurred to him that he would have this kind of relationship with his father again. He was old enough now to appreciate their closeness and admonish himself for all the wasted years not talking, something that was mostly his own fault.
"Have you ever had an actually relationship with a man?" It was one of the questions Jack couldn't get a read on with his son. He knew Jethro had obviously had sex with men, but had no clue if his son had ever let it be more."
"Once...briefly." The bile churned in Gibbs' gut and he struggled to keep it down. The sickly feeling and regret an all too familiar penitence brought on by thoughts of that relationship. He snatched the beer from the table and downed half of what was left. After a long hard swallow, he took a deep breath. "I'll do whatever it takes to make it work with Tony."
Jack saw the renewed termination and conviction in his son's eyes. "I have no doubt you will." He didn't push for more information, the regret and remorse about the relationship was painfully clear and it was even clearer that Jethro was the cause of that relationships end. "You getting hungry? I can heat up the chili."
"Sounds good." Gibbs stood up and turned to head towards the kitchen. He stopped and turned back to his father. "Dad." He paused. "Thanks."
Giving a nod, Jack smiled a you're welcome, the smile hiding the deeper emotion that moved him. The fact that after decades of not even speaking, they could now sit down and talk, not just as father and son, but as friends.
