Four pairs of eyes just stared at Alice as the girl stood in the doorway, staring at the hat in her hands and completely at a loss for what to say.
"Gone?" the White Rabbit, McTwisp, asked curiously as though he didn't understand the word.
"GONE?" shrieked Mallyumkin Mouse, her voice an octave higher than usual. She squeaked and dashed past Alice, into the gloom of the Hatter's house. Almost instantly, the March Hare and White Rabbit followed her, spinning Alice around as they went. Bayard followed them but more slowly, whining softly and stopping at Alice's heels, looking up at her and nuzzling her leg. "NO!" came Mally's shriek from the darkness as they all ventured further into the gloom and found her staring at a set of brackets on the wall, a set of brackets which until fairly recently had been occupied. Alice looked up at them, uncomprehending.
"He took his sword with him," McTwisp said in a quiet but nervously squeaky voice. Bayard whined more loudly and the March Hare, Thackery trembled so hard that he looked as though he'd fall to pieces. Mally just stared up at the wall, but suddenly she turned on Alice.
"This is all your fault, you stupid girl! YOU LEFT HIM!" Mally burst into tears and ran out the door.
This outburst shook Alice out of her stupor and looked round at the two rabbits and Bayard. "My… but he…" Again Alice's thoughts were twisting around Mally's earlier words that they'd been told she'd return and the Hatter had locked himself away. He hadn't wanted to see her and everyone else was simply mistaken. But her heart ached; was her presence really such a terrible thing that the Hatter would just leave?
They only shrugged their shoulders but when she looked away, they all shared a knowing glance. "We'll find him, Alice," said McTwisp, not feeling as certain as his words sounded, "but you must help us. You're the only thing that can help him now."
"But he… if he left, he must not want to see me…" Alice mumbled to herself, running her fingers over the intricate stitching of his hat.
"Alice!" Thackery shouted. She jolted and looked at him. "He needs you!" It sounded so simple coming from the crazy Hare's mouth.
"He is ill, Alice, very much so," McTwisp said quietly, moving toward her through the gloom. He placed a paw gently on her hand. "Thackery's right. He really does need you."
"I never should have come back," Alice said, tears starting in her eyes but Bayard howled softly.
"No, Alice, you had to come back. You have to help him, you're the only one who can," he said.
"He left his hat," Mally's voice came from the doorway. The fur underneath her eyes was streaked with tears and she shook with anger but seemed to be in better control of herself. "Alice," her voice trembled. "Alice… we've tried. We've all tried to help him. Even the White Queen has. But… he's just gotten worse. And I… I'm afraid for him. He took his sword but he left his hat." Mally's eyes filled with tears again and she swallowed, forcing a lump from her throat so she could speak. "He's ill, Alice. That sword… he never touches it, he hasn't since the battle, and before then it had been years." Mally looked around at everyone. "The truth is… it scares him. He may be mad but he hates to be angry. Ever since he almost killed Stayne with it… the idea that he almost killed, that rage he felt that day… It scared him, and it was because of you, Alice." McTwisp scowled and Bayard growled but there was no venom in Mallyumkin's voice. "He wanted to protect you, that's why he got so angry."
Alice blushed, but to her it was only further proof that her presence was not good for the Hatter.
"He needs to see you, Alice," continued Mally, her demeanor almost shattering with the pain she was feeling. Her words were contradicting Alice's thoughts, but Alice's heart went out to the Dormouse. Mally looked up into Alice's eyes. "Alice, please. Please, help him." Tears were streaming down her face again.
"I—I –" Alice stammered. She took a deep breath to calm herself. "Well, we'll have to find him first."
***
It didn't take the Hatter long to reach the place where the White Queen had first fallen to the Red Queen – the place where he'd seen so many of his kinfolk slaughtered and the place where he had helped convince… her that she had to help them by slaying the Jabberwocky. He didn't know why he'd returned to the little grove, he hadn't meant to. He'd simply let his feet take him where they wanted to. He stared around the clearing. The surrounding trees and the ground still bore scorch marks and there wasn't a single blade of green grass. The Hatter's eyes settled to a lukewarm orange as the anger at the memory of that horrible day overtook him, but even that wasn't strong enough to block out the pain of… he refused to think about it but it was all he could think about.
He sat down on a stump and stared at the clearing, seeing everyone dancing there as if it had just been yesterday, and unbidden came the image of her dancing among them, dressed in the finery of the Hightopp clan. She danced and spun and laughed joyously before spinning herself into the imaginary Tarrant's waiting arms. The real Hatter's eyes filled with tears but they did not spill. He blinked and shook his head in frustration, letting out a bitter laugh.
And then there came a sound from behind him and his eyes flared a brighter, more furious orange. "Who's there?" he growled with a Scottish brogue, standing and whipping around, his sword at the ready…
