hey! so i've been very indecisive about this. i don't know whether I want brittana to end up together or not. So, if I don't place Santana with Brittany, she'll be with wes, david, or some crawford country girl, most likely Mariah. Yes, i understand she's a lesbian, but i also understand the she's new to that area, and I LOVE brittana usually, but i just don't know how huge of a thing it'll have to be for the ND to redeem themselves, because 'sing a song and happy-joy-joy' is not gonna cut it. but what i was trying to say is that i think she could POSSIBLY be bisexual.
so, this chapter is just little examples of Mariah/Santana and Wes/Santana.
anyway, tell me what YOU think. because i do take that into account, especially when i have no idea what to do. u guys read my stuff, and that's kind of why i write it :). i won't ignore your ideas.
they're juniors, by the way...
anyway, i'll get on with it now.
thoughts
"cellphone"
texts
enjoy!
Santana
A shot glass shoved sloppily into my hand. Salt sprinkled all over my midsection. Messy kisses with a nameless face. Crawling onto the table, a bottle of Sam Adams in my hand as I start to grind drunkenly on a stranger. Laughing like an idiot as we run across the Common. A pair of stilettos are in my hands. Dry heaving in the bathroom. Passing out on someone's bed, the last scent I took in being the reek of alcohol coming off of me.
Yes, a crazy-shit birthday party. David just turned sixteen, and we threw him a huge party. I drank more than I did at Berry's attempt at a party. I didn't cry half as much, though... I also had half as many articles of clothing on by the end.
And now, I have twice as much of a damn hangover. My head is pounding horribly, I'm nauseous, and I smell like a mini-bar. I feel a surge in my abdomen and keel over, but there's nothing in my stomach for me to throw up. There's a groan from up on the bed. James is sitting up, pressing his palms to his eyes.
The day is a pained blur. There's no school, so that's a relief, but there's still food to be eaten, lights...and lights...
And the next day... I was still slightly hungover, but the nausea had faded, so it was bearable. After school, we met out on the Commons to do homework.
I lie out on my stomach in the grass, my binder in front of me and my messenger bag off to my side. The sky is cloudy. It's going to rain soon.
Nick and James join Mariah, Katy, Jenna and I, shortly followed by Wes, David, Jeff, and Brock.
They brought the leftover pizza from the party.
We all roll our eyes and grab a piece or two, because it whatever, it really does have to go, and it is reallyreallyreally good.
And before I know it, I've eaten three over-sized slices. My stomach is churning, and I bite my lip, grabbing for the box as Wes takes the last slice. He smirks at me.
"Too late, pig.", he teases me. My heart drops and I attempt to smile, but it comes out as a grimace.
I turn it around to the bottom, scanning over the nutrition information. Some strange, three-year-old part of me is hoping that it will be about zero calories per serving. It's not.
480 calories per eighth. 28 grams of fat, most of it trans. Nearly 2000 milligrams of sodium. My brow wrinkles.
Maybe some other person would shrug it off, say that it's okay to splurge every once in a while. But it's not quite the same. I ate over a third of that pizza. And that is the most food I've had in one sitting since I got released from the damn hospital.
My hand is twitching. I purse my lips. "I'll be back in ten...or something. Gotta get something from the dorm."
Mariah gives me a suspicious look and everyone nods vaguely. I turn to walk away.
Ten minutes later, I find myself leaning over the table, stretching a shaking finger into my mouth.
I retch. No... Again. No... I try again, and start to heave. A sick kind of satisfaction fills me as it all starts to come back up.
At least I can do something right.
And then the door opens.
"Santana, finally, what took you so..." Mariah trails off. I slowly stand to face her, struggling not to fall as the tremors that always come after vomiting begin to take over my legs.
"What are you..." Her eyes look a little wet. "I thought you were over this. You said you were over this."
I stutter pointlessly. "I..."
The tears and disappointment change to anger. "Wh-what the hell were you thinking? Don't you know we care about you? How can you do this?" She shakes her head at me. "You're not the only one that you're hurting anymore, Tana. Do you even care?" Her eyes bore into me. "Do you?"
My voice comes out a shaky whisper. "I... I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know..." I hesitate. "I don't know where I'm at."
She smiles sadly. "Then find out."
She turns around and then she's gone.
I'm sitting outside Crawford. It's dark out, and the sky is pitch black, clouds covering all the stars. I'm standing on the lawn, leaning against the old-shit willow tree. Heavy drops are falling onto my head from the leaves. I sigh.
Do you?
Of course I do. They're the best friends I've ever really had.
Do you?
I sigh shakily.
Rain doesn't do anything to conceal footsteps. I hear it easily, especially since the person in question is incredibly clumsy.
"Shit. Fuck. Me. Damn it. Ow."
I roll my eyes, turning to face him. "What do you want, prep-boy?"
He casually leans against the tree as if he hadn't just fallen flat on his face. "I thought we were past that."
I shrug. "Maybe."
"Mariah told us...y'know, what you did."
I chew on my lip, wondering what sort of stance to take. "I don't know what your talking about."
He ignores me. "You don't have to do that, San."
I purse my lips and don't answer.
He sighs, sounding aggravated. "Santana."
I turn to face him. I can't hardly make him out, just an outline, but his eyes are glinting slightly. "Wesley."
"Just promise me, the next time you feel like...that, or anything that you used to do, just call me. No matter when it is. Okay?"
I feel my eyes prickling. "Wh...what?"
"That's what friends do.", he says softly.
I blink. Friends. "I promise."
He grins at me, tugging me into a hug. I roll my eyes.
"Now. Let's go inside, you're soaking wet, and I'm soon to be." He sighs and seems to have a momentary inner battle before shrugging helplessly. "That's what she said."
sorry for the uuber short chapter. as i said, this is just a taste of my possible couples, or if you guys still say so, brittana is still being considered. I seriously need some feedback on this, because I'm completely torn.
