A/N: I just wanted to let everyone know that I corrected some grammatical mistakes and added a little Easter Egg surprise to one of the segments. So you can reread the whole chapter, or you can go into the section where Mac and Don fight. Hope you like it. :)


Jamie was sedated for the night, but woke up early the next morning. She was disoriented, but after a few moments, she realized where she was. She ran a hand lightly over her stomach. She couldn't tell if she was still pregnant or not, but deep down she knew that their baby was gone. A few tears rolled down the sides of her face and dripped into her hair, but she didn't bother to brush them away. She looked around the semi-dark room, focusing on one of the monitors she was hooked up to.

She'd seen enough hospital rooms to know that this monitor measured her heartbeat. He stomach sank when she saw that it was only monitoring one. There was the proof. Her baby was really gone. She chocked back a sob, but wasn't quiet enough. Don stirred in the chair he was sleeping in and stretched out his legs. Jamie quickly rolled over; she wasn't in the mood to talk to him. She wasn't mad at him anymore, just sad.


Don let out a loud yawn, blinking his eyes a few times to clear his vision. His watch told him it was just after 8 o'clock in the morning. Jamie should've been waking up by now, according to what the doctor had said.

"Jamie? Are you up?" He whispered gently, standing up and leaning over the bed. Jamie tried to continue to feign sleep, but couldn't contain her sobs at the sound of his voice.

Don's face fell and he sat on the bed softly. He rested a hand on Jamie's arm. She turned over to face him and Don saw her pale face and red eyes for the first time. He frowned at the way the florescent hospital lights emphasized her black eye and the bruises on her arms and face.

"Jamie, what happened?" Don sighed as she cried more and looped her arm around his leg, pulling herself closer to him.

"It's all my fault. It's my fault. I shouldn't have gone. The baby's gone, isn't it?" Her tears we're soaking the knee of his sweatpants and Don's heart broke as he stroked Jamie's hair.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry. It's not your fault. It's not your fault." Don repeated the same words over and over again, hoping the words would break through Jamie's sadness.

"It is. It is my fault. I got our baby killed." Jamie wailed. Don sighed and helped sit her up in his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around her shaking shoulders.

"The doc said this happens. It's not your fault, it just wasn't time." Don said, feeling lower than low for his initial reaction to her news.

" But, what if I made it happen? I should've listened to Jo. I shouldn't have gone after him." Jamie was shaking her head, but she had stopped crying.

"Even if that had been the reason, it's not your fault. The scumbag that hit you, it's his fault. Jamie, don't blame yourself, blame anyone else but, please, don't blame yourself." Don said, speaking into Jamie's hair, having pulled her closer and tucking her head under his chin. "Blame me."

Jamie sighed heavily and Don could feel her pulling away from him. She eased herself out of his arms and back on the bed. "Can I just be alone? Please?"

Don nodded, "Yeah, I'll just be outside. You know, if you need anything." He leaned down to kiss her cheek, but Jamie rolled over. Don nodded to no one and walked out of the room.

Jamie jumped a little in the bed when the door slammed behind him, a little harder than was necessary.


Once outside the room, Don was restless. He had only slept for a few hours, but he was wired. He needed to get out of this hospital.

"Sorry," he said to the nurse on call, "my wife's Jamie Flack. If she asks for me could you tell her I went into the precinct?"

The young woman looked at him curiously, but nodded and said, "Of course," all the same.

"Thanks." Don said shortly, and hurried down the hall to the elevator. He punched the button with excessive force. Once the elevator doors closed behind him, he let out a loud shout and punched the metal wall to his side.

"This wasn't supposed to fucking happen." He mumbled to himself, leaning against the wall. He twisted his fingers into his hair, finally breaking down and letting the tears fall. He couldn't- wouldn't- cry in front of Jamie. It was his job to be strong for her, but this was too much.

As the elevator doors slid open on the ground floor, Don wiped his face and straightened his hair. He had to get back to the apartment and change.

In the chaos of the last few hours, Don had forgotten about the state their bed was in. He got a brutal reminder when he went to change.

"Shit." The word fell out of his mouth when he waked into the bedroom. He shook his head, "How could I have forgotten about this?" Slowly, Don began to strip the bed of its sheets. He rolled them into a ball, planning to drop them into the dumpster around the back of the building. It wasn't worth trying to clean them. Don winced at the amount of blood that covered the sheets. He had only seen this amount of blood one other place that wasn't a crime scene, his own shirt when Jess had been shot. And even then, there wasn't that much blood.

Once the bed had been stripped of the sheets, Don sunk to the bare mattress. He would have to find more sheets since Jamie was coming home tonight. He would have to pick her up by 6 the doctor had said.

Kicking off his sweatpants and pulling his t-shirt over his head, Don padded into the bathroom. He wished he could just wash away the last day. Everything had gone to hell so quickly.


"Hey Mac."

Mac looked up from the microscope, shocked. "Don, what are you doing here? I thought you said you wouldn't be in?"

Don shook his head, "I had to come in."

Mac pulled off his latex gloves, "You know, that message you left, it was pretty cryptic. Do you want to talk?"

"Not really."

"Is Jamie okay?"

"Not really." Seeing Mac's concerned look, Don quickly backtracked. "She's fine, physically, well mostly. It's just psychological now, I think. I don't know Mac. She's not sick or dying or anything."

"Good news. Does this have something to do with the fight you two had yesterday?"

"In a way. Aw, shit Mac, she miscarried." Don blurted out. Mac's face fell, he hadn't been expecting that.

"Is she okay? What happened?" Mac leaned against the lab desk.

"The doc said this happens sometimes, but she'd been out with Jo on call, and I think she and a suspect got into it. She has a black eye, and some bruises. She's really beating herself up over this." Don shook his head.

"Is that what the fight was about? You didn't want her to go out." Mac guessed.

Don snorted, "I wish. No, she had just told me she was pregnant and I stuck my foot in it. Said I wasn't ready."

Mac frowned, and opened his mouth, ready to chastise his detective, but closed his mouth. Don had gone through enough. He didn't need Mac adding to the guilt. "Are you sure you want to be here? Shouldn't you be with Jamie?" Mac settled on these questions instead.

"I can't be there anymore. She shut me out. I thought I'd be more help here." Don's mouth tightened into a straight line.

Mac blew out a breath of air. "Don, I think you'd be better off, staying at the hospital with Jamie. She needs you to be there for her. When she wants to let you in, you have to be there for her."

"How would you know that? You don't know what she wants, I don't either." Don fidgeted with the knot of his tie, just to do something with his hands.

"I may not know what Jamie wants right now, but this isn't my first experience with a miscarriage."

"Oh shit, I'm sorry Mac. Christine?" Don's face fell into a frown at is own stupidity. He knew how private his boss was. No one really knew what went on in Mac's private life.

"Claire. Three times. That's why we never had kids. The last one was July 2001." Mac said, so matter-of-factly that he could have been telling Don that it was raining outside.

Don's mouth fell open, not just from the content of Mac's words, but due to the fact that Mac had shared very personal information. "Jesus Mac, I'm so sorry."

Mac shook his head, "Don't worry about it. Just go and be with Jamie, even if you have to sit outside the room. I wasn't with Claire in July, and I hated myself for letting her go through that alone. The murders will still be here when you come back." Mac offered up a small smile as Don nodded and left the lab.

"Hey Don?"

"Yeah?" The almost-father turned.

"Tell Jamie we're all here for her."

"Will do Boss." Don smiled.


Jamie ended up spending the rest of the day alone in her room, except for a few minutes when the doctor came to talk to her and when Don came in to help her get ready to go home. Don spent the entire day waiting outside the room.

"Are you hungry Jamie? We can stop for some food, or I can make you something." Don asked as he pushed Jamie and her wheelchair out to the car.

"No thanks. I can't eat." Jamie said softly, a 180 switch from the loud volume she usually used.

Don didn't answer. He stopped the wheelchair outside of the car before opening the passenger side door for Jamie. She let out a gasp and Don looked down. Shit, he had forgotten about the blood in the car.

He spun to face his wife, "I am so sorry about that Jamie. Shit, I should've cleaned that up."

Jamie shook her head, "I…it's okay. I just…didn't…realize…" She trailed off, turning her face away from the sight and covering her eyes with her hand. Don opened the door to the back seat and helped Jamie slide in, mentally kicking himself.

The car ride to the apartment was quiet, with neither one speaking. Once they got up to their apartment, Jamie hurried into the bedroom to shower and change out of the shorts and t-shirt Don had brought her. Don resisted the urge to hit something and went into the kitchen to find something to eat. He found a tray of baked ziti and a note on the counter.

Don,

We love you guys and we're here for anything you need.

Don't hesitate to call us.

Tell Jamie we love her and don't let my gram's baked ziti burn.

Xoxo, Lindsay, Danny and the kids

Don smiled at the note, tucking it into his pants' pocket. He took off his jacket and loosened his tie before turning the oven on and sliding the dish in.

"Hey Jamie?" He called down the hallway. He didn't get an answer, so he knocked on the bedroom door, wanting to give her some privacy. He could hear the water running in the shower, but didn't want to startle her. Instead of knocking on the door, Don slid down the wall and sat on the floor, his back resting against the wall. Five minutes passed, then ten, then twenty, forty, an hour. After an hour and five minutes Don finally stood up, knocked on the door and, hearing no response, opened it. The showerhead was still running, but he couldn't see Jamie. He stuck his hand into the shower and shut off the water.

Jamie was sitting on the floor of the shower, her arms wrapped around her knees. Don couldn't tell if the water trails on her face were tears or water dripping from her hair, but he would have put a bet on tears. Ignoring the fact that he was still in his suit pants and a dress shirt, Don climbed into the shower and sat next to Jamie, he pulled her into his arms and she didn't resist.

"It's okay Jamie. It's okay. Come on, let's get out of the shower." Don reached up and grabbed a towel off of the ledge, wrapping it around Jamie's shoulders.

"I feel empty Don. It's like there's a piece of me missing." Jamie chattered as Don guided her into the bedroom. She sat down on the bed and wrapped the towel tighter around her shaking body. Don didn't know what to say, so he just pulled a pair of his sweatpants and an old NYPD t-shirt out of the dresser.

"It's okay Jamie. Why don't you get dressed? There's baked ziti in the oven and we'll sit on the couch for a little bit." Don helped Jamie pull the shirt over her head.

"You made baked ziti?" Jamie asked, the first thing she had said that wasn't blaming herself for the loss of the baby.

Don smiled, "Nah, Lindsay dropped it off. They're all here for you."

Jamie gave a small smile before looking down again. She tied the strings on the too big sweatpants and pulled her hair into a sloppy bun at the top of her head.

An "oh" escaped her lips as she followed Don into the kitchen. "I didn't realize that they knew."

"I…ah, went out with Danny yesterday afternoon. Right after you told me." Don couldn't look at Jamie.

"Oh. Did he tell Lindsay?" She asked, taking a seat at the table, tucking a leg up under her.

"No. I told her. She called me this morning after I left a message saying we wouldn't be in. Mac and Jo know too." Don spoke to the oven as he pulled the dish of ziti out.

"Why would you tell everyone?" Jamie asked a frown spreading across her face. She wasn't exactly angry with Don, but she was embarrassed that everyone knew she had lost her baby.

"I had to talk to someone Jay. You shut me out." Don scooped into the ziti forcefully.

"You don't understand what I went through! I didn't shut you out! You left!" Jamie shouted.

"I wouldn't have left if you had told me to stay!" Don countered, slamming the spoon down on the counter.

"What could you have done? There was nothing for you to do!" Jamie half shouted, half cried. She slammed her hands down on the table.

"I want to be here for you Jamie! I want to understand. Talk to me." Don pleaded.

"I don't want to talk." Jamie stood abruptly and stormed down the hallway, slamming the bedroom door.

"Fuck!" Don shouted, kicking the chair leg. How was he going to get through to her?


The next few months were difficult. Jamie was off for the rest of June and all of July. Her return date was set, tentatively, for August 15th. Don wasn't sure how well that would go over. The only time Jamie ever left the apartment was to go jogging. Don thought about the first time she had gone out. Just a week after the miscarriage, Jamie's doctor had given her the okay to start exercising again.

"Don? I'm going to go run in Central Park." She had said on her way out the door. Don had nodded.

"Be careful. Don't push yourself too hard." He had cautioned her and after a quick nod, she was out the door. Those were the only words she had said to him that week.

Don had called ne of his buddies that was on duty near the park and asked him to keep an eye on Jamie. An hour after Jamie had left, Don's buddy called him.

"Hey Flack. Is your wife okay?" He had asked.

"What the hell do you mean? I asked you to watch out for her. Is she hurt?" Don had panicked.

Pat Kelly hesitated, "Well… she's not bleeding or anything. She's just sitting on the top of one of the rocks. It looks like she's crying."

Don groaned, resting his head on the table. "Thanks Pat. She's going through some stuff right now. I appreciate it." He had hung up the phone and gotten ready for the day, leaving a note for Jamie on the table, knowing that she wouldn't have wanted him to know she had been crying. That pattern continued for weeks until Don finally stepped in.

"Do you mind if I come with you?" He asked her one July morning.

Jamie looked shocked. "Um, sure, I guess."

"Good. We need to spend some more time together. I miss you Lovato." Don bent over to tie his sneakers, effectively hiding his smile. He hadn't expected Jamie to say yes.

They walked to Central Park. Jamie was quiet, but she walked close to Don, her hand bumping his as they walked. Don took a chance halfway to Central Park and captured Jamie's fingers with his own, twisting them together.

Jamie looked down at their fingers and smiled slightly. "I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"I have a confession to make." Jamie said as they passed through the entranceway to the park. "I haven't really been running everyday. I've been sitting in the park, thinking, crying a bit." Jamie admitted.

"Since we're being honest, I had Pat Kelly follow you the first day you came out here." He took a seat on a nearby rock. Jamie stood in front of him.

"Really?"

"I'm sorry about that. I was worried though and you weren't talking to me. So, I thought it was my only option." Don looked into Jamie's eyes, extremely apologetic.

"I understand Don, really. I know I've been distant lately. I just needed some time." She sat next to him. "I just didn't want to talk about it. But, I think I'm ready now."

"Anything you want to talk about, I'm here. I love you so much Jamie and I'm going to love any babies we have in the future." Don held Jamie's face in between his hands and kissed her softly.


Jamie ended up going back to work early. She and Don were finally back to as normal as things would get and she thought she was ready to go back to work.

"Jamie! It's so great to have you back." Lindsay smiled, jumped off of the edge of Danny's desk and greeted her friend with a hug. Jamie hugged her back.

"It's good to be back. I missed the coffee around here. Don just doesn't know how to make it the way I like." She laughed, but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes yet. Don didn't say anything, he just shook his head, glad that Jamie was cracking jokes like her old self.

"Welcome back Detective Lovato. We're putting you straight to work." Mac smiled as he handed her a slip of paper.

She grinned, "Let's go Messer!" She leaned over to kiss Don good-bye and followed Danny out of the precinct.

Lindsay, Don and Mac watched them leave.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" Lindsay asked softly.

"I sure as hell hope so. She's been so good the last few weeks." Don said, mentally crossing his fingers that everything would be okay.


"How's Jamie been?" Jo asked Don an hour or so later, while they were out on their own call. "I'm sorry I missed her this morning."

"She's doing okay. She has her moments, but it's all back to normal for the most part." Don replied, nudging several pieces of trash out of the way with the toe of his shoe.

"That's good. We've really missed her around the station." Jo picked up a bullet casing and slipped it into a plastic evidence bag.

Don nodded, "I think she's missed being around-" His ringing phone cut him off. "Sorry Jo." He apologized before sliding the bar and answering the call.

"Flack."

"Don't freak out man, but Jamie just burst into hysterics and I can't calm her down." Danny's voice was panicky and Don could hear the aforementioned sobs in the background.

"What do you mean she burst into hysterics?" Don questioned, and Jo looked over, worried. "Something must have set her off."

"I'm not sure, but I think it was-"

Don was furious. "I'll kill him." He hung up on Danny and stormed out of the apartment, Jo was hot on his heels.

"Don! Don! Don, wait. What happened?" Jo rested her hand on Don's arm.

"She's hysterical. Danny's bringing her back to the lab to sit with Lindsay." Don' s face was contorted in anger and that was all Jo could get out of him. She jumped into his car and sped off.


"What the hell were you thinking?" Don raged as he slammed the door to Mac's office open.

"What are you talking about Flack?" Mac stood up.

"I'm talking about the call you sent Jamie out on. A pregnant woman murdered, her two-year-old daughter killed too? Are you out of your fucking mind Taylor?" Don was seeing red.

"I am your boss! Respect me Detective Flack!" Mac barked. "I sent Jamie on a call, I was unaware of the circumstances."

"It's your job to know what you're sending your people into. Don't we have a special victims unit to deal with this kind of crap?" Don fumed, "What about your friend, what's her face? Stabler?"

"Olivia?" Mac questioned, "She and her husband are on maternity and paternity leave."

Don scowled, another couple with a baby. It seemed like they were everywhere these days.

"Is she okay?" Mac asked, his tone softening.

"I don't know. I haven't seen her." Don scowled and stormed out of the office.


"I thought I was okay, I really did." Jamie cried onto Lindsay's shoulder in the break room.

"Oh, it's okay Jamie. No one expects you to be back to 100% so quickly." Lindsay tried to soothe her friend as Danny looked on awkwardly. He had never been good with crying women.

"I've never been like this though. I've always been strong." Jamie sighed.

"And now it's your turn to let us watch out for you. Take all of this one step at a time."

Don came sliding into the room a minute later. He knelt on the floor in front of Jamie.

"How are you? What happened?" He rested his hands on her knees.

Lindsay stood up, "Danny and I'll just leave you guys alone. We'll be right outside if you need us." They left.

"I'm okay now, I think. I just wasn't expecting… she was so little… and then…Don, it was terrible." She threw herself forward and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.

"I'm so sorry. I had it out with Mac already." He said into her ear, rubbing his hand up and down her back.

"Don't fight with him Don. It's not his fault."

"Yes, it is." Don was petulant.

"I'm not going to fight with you, but I don't think I can come back tomorrow." Jamie sighed, rocking back onto the couch.

Don understood completely, "Take as much time as you need. I'll handle Mac."

"Don't get into trouble." Jamie wiped her face and stood up shakily. Don looped an arm around her waist.

"I won't. I promise. I'll take you home, okay."

"No, no, I know you left a scene with Jo. I'll stay with Lindsay. Please just finish what you have to do." She leaned up and kissed him, "I'll be fine, I promise."

Don nodded, "Okay. I'll see you later then." He jogged down the hallway while pulling out his phone. Jamie could hear him telling Jo he'd meet her back at the crime scene.


That night, while tucked together on the couch, Don made a suggestion.

"We should go on vacation. We need to get away."

Jamie yawned, "I like that idea. Where should we go?"

"Anywhere you want. How about Greece?"

"I've never been. It's supposed to be beautiful."

"I've never been either. Mac went once with Stella. I tried to convince him to send me, but no cigar." Don laughed.

"I can't imagine why. All the trouble Don Flack would have gotten into. An international incident waiting to happen." Jamie poked Don in the side, teasing him.

"Hey, I'm an angel Lovato."

"Yeah, sure you are. So are we really going?"

"I don't see why not. I'll call Sam and see if her travel agent friend can set everything up and then I'll work our schedules so we can have time off." Don shrugged, like it was no big deal.

"I feel like I've been away from work for too long." Jamie frowned, it would be hell to get back to work.

"Okay so we'll wait. We'll go away for Christmas."

"Really? That sounds great. A nice Greek island, instead of cold, snowy Manhattan. I can't wait." She rested her head on Don's shoulder and sighed happily.

Don leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes, it seemed like everything was back to normal.


A/N: Hi there all, I know it's been a super long wait. I've been busier than I thought I would be over the break and I didn't get a chance to sit down and write in one giant block. This chapter was written in like 15 minute segments when I had the chance. Everything is getting back to normal in New York, Jamie and Don are back, and I like to think, stronger than ever. These two really feel like a regular couple to me and that's why I feel like I can put them through the wringer, so to speak. The emotions will be on the upswing to happy for now, and I'm really excited for what I have coming.

I do have one request for you guys, I've been toying with renaming this story. I don't know if the title really has much to do with what's going to happen in the coming chapters, so if anyone has any suggestions for a new chapter, I'd love to hear them. Additionally, if you guys have any scenarios you'd like to see Don and Jamie go through, big or small, leave them in a review. I'd love to incorporate some of your ideas since you guys have been such awesome readers and reviewers.

I do go back to school on Tuesday, so updates may be sporadic. I don't want to promise anything and then not deliver, so let's just say that there will be more updates coming. :)

Happy Easter to all that are celebrating today.