Thank you to: brionyjae, oliver1234, aishteru, coolmarauders, The New Shinigami Hikari, yehudi13, ATadObsessive46, &Vespalady !
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Chapter 7 – …Watch It Fall…
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Potter." My words are shaky and slurred, but they are still being forced out. "I hate you."
"Harry. Call me Harry. And I hate you too Draco." He flashes that smile I am learning to fear and leaves me alone, hiding in the bathroom until this all blows over.
I feel like screaming but don't want to give him the pleasure of hearing that.
I retch again and decide that I won't ever let this happen again, let him have the upper hand.
I can fight back, or I can give up.
I've always been partial to the latter.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I cannot live like this.
I am choking on my own words, scared of my own actions, my emotions at the very surface and dying to break through.
Potter is yet to break one of my things, to hurt me, to follow through on any one threat. His power is still tangible however, held with things I don't doubt him able to do. He is a constant figure in the background, silent and speaking only when he wants me to stop something, or to do his bidding. I am a puppet, my strings growing thin and weary, just his side of snapping already from being tugged at so often.
I cannot even feel safe in this little cheerful space. When trying to sleep I am afraid of what he'll do to me when my guard is down. When I finish schoolwork, I look over my shoulder to make sure that he isn't sneaking up on me at the little desk. I can't leave my food unchecked for even a minute, every taste afterwards a dangerous one if I do.
I am in hell, and he is enjoying every moment of it.
"Why are you doing this?" I whisper to him as I feel my nerves snapping, my patience worn down after only three days alone with him. We have been silent for hours already this morning, and the lack of sound keeps pressing in on me. I'm drowning in it.
"Do what? Fuck with your mind?" I nod, and he smiles.
I want to smack it off his face.
"Because I can." He turns away from me and stares out of the open picture window, gazing at the crystal clean emptiness of the lawns. "But you want an answer deeper than that don't you?" I have quickly learned that I anger him more when I talk out loud, so I nod again.
"Well, I make you do things for me because you deserve to have to do them. You have been a main part of most of the worst moments of my life and I will make you pay for them as often and as long as I feel necessary. You are spoiled and I enjoy taking that away from you because I am not." I want to scoff at this, but I hold my tongue this time.
"I have snapped Malfoy, even I can see that. Old Harry was kind and compassionate, he cared enough to the point of stupidity. New Harry takes what he wants, he screws with others instead of himself. I'm not bottling up anger and spite and rage with myself now, I'm directing it outwards. And the only fun thing to direct it at," he smiles again, a shiver shooting up my spine, "is you."
"You've become the same as …him." I feel nervous to use any substitute for his real name, and spit it out anyway . "You're like Voldemort. You are evil, or at least on the path to it." I feel like I've stepped too far out of line, but he doesn't leave his spot on the windowsill. He doesn't shudder at the name either, but that isn't anything new to me. He sits quietly rather than lashing out at me.
That scares me even more.
"That last comment really pissed me off, but I'll deal with that later. And no, I am not like Voldemort. He believes himself above all others, and thus disrespects everything. I think myself above most others, and below some, and respect them all anyway. Including you." He sits on the wide windowsill edge, poking his head out to see the steep drop below it.
"I know, I know. You think I don't respect you, but I do. I tell you the truth almost always, unless I really think that lies are to my advantage. Ask me a straight question and I'll answer it truthfully though, that's a promise. If I am going to embrace this whole dark, fucked up way I am still going to hold onto some morals and beliefs. Voldemort lost all those." He steps away from the ledge, leaving my mind writhing with new thoughts and insights into his mind.
"Are you… afraid of heights Malfoy?" My stomach drops like a stone instantly, the cold tone in which he says this chilling my bones.
"Yes. Why?" My hands tremble, my wand far across the room of no use to me now. He smiles and nods at the window, making his intentions very, very clear.
"Because, I told you that I would deal with that Voldemort comment later, and now is later from then."
I shake my head no at him, scared of breaking down crying or worse.
Begging.
"You don't even know what I want from you right now, and you're already scared shitless. You really are spineless, aren't you Malfoy?" I feel the chair I was seated on leave me, my body floating midair. My pulse has risen above what I could have ever thought possible, the blood rushing and sloshing through my veins, flooding me. I am floating toward to open window, nothing to grab onto to stop my passage.
"Let's see how you do…" I am too far away from the edges of the window to grab hold, but when just a finger grazes one side I can feel it buzz, numb from fear.
"You said you'd always answer my questions truthfully? Are you going to drop me?" I am officially floating out of the window, forcefully not looking down because I might lose all semblance of control left in my body.
"Now that you mention it… why not?" his hand is palm up as he watches me, then flips upside down in an instant.
I am dying.
Wind rushes by my body, my robes cracking in it and my hair flying madly. Gravity has been torn away from me, all of my insides trying to force their way up into my throat. The very ground I have taken for granted for so long has been ripped from me, my functions no longer part of my brains system.
I still have some dignity.
I bite my bottom lip until it breaks, only a second or two and close my eyes against the stones flying by. The whooshing has gone on too long, these few last seconds have been stretched way too far, and the ground can't possibly be any further away.
I stop.
I am not on the ground yet, I am not dead. I am floating. I am going back up. It is the exact same, perverse route that I was taking only a moment ago, only in reverse. The blood in my mouth is gone; I swallowed it. I am back and level with the window, with Potter's demented green eyes sparkling with pleasure. I am still floating above the ground, until he lets me go on my bed.
"Not a single scream. You would have taken all the fun out of that death you know. You would have died with dignity." My mouth tastes of pennies, my ears sting of cold. My face feels hot, the heart which has beated faithfully for me all my life is trying valiantly to rip through my ribs and I wish it would just explode and end all this. My nails have dug holes in my palms, little half moons of scarlet, my legs and arms still feel as though on permanent pins and needles.
"I said that I'd drop you Malfoy, I never said that I'd kill you. I'll tell you first if I ever plan to." He laughs, a full laugh after only one look into my face, into my eyes. I turn away from that face and retch over the edge of the bed, stopping only a second before retching again.
"Oh Merlin Malfoy, you have no manners now do you?" he tuts me and rushes out to the doorway, most likely about to bullshit some story into the air about me getting sick.
I turn and stare at the ceiling, my heartbeat still pulsing in my ears. I can feel hot tears run down the sides of my face. I am shocked with myself, crying again in only a week.
He has that power over me. He has no boundaries over what he will and won't do.
I am stuck here partially out of his will, partly out of my lack ofone for fighting him.
I am sobbing and shaking and generally losing all composure by the time Pomphrey rushes in, a concerned look on her face mirrored by the one on his.
His is fake and disgusting.
"Dear, it was probably something you ate and combined with the stress... I'll fetch some potions and be right back…" she rushes back out, leaving me with Potter again.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Potter." My words are shaky and slurred, but they are still being forced out. "I hate you."
"Harry. Call me Harry. And I hate you too Draco." He flashes that smile I am learning to fear and leaves me alone, hiding in the bathroom until this all blows over.
I feel like screaming but don't want to give him the pleasure of hearing that.
I retch again and decide that I won't ever let this happen again, let him have the upper hand.
I can fight back, or I can give up.
I've always been partial to the latter.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A/N: Please review!
mintapotter
