Guys, I really am sorry that this came later than the rest, but you see, it WAS the freaking holidays and my brain's practically teeming with ideas. I just have to write them all down. But then, due to my Sasori-like temper, I never get the idea of waiting thrilling so waiting for a week or so before updating just drives me crazy. (Hello, 4-days-update?)
Ok, I think this may not be as good as the others because I basically brainstormed for this stuff, and all the good ideas just pop in my head. Brainstorming has never been my thing…
Oh yeah, before I forget, this is a three-Akatsuki-members-in-one chapter because two of them are collaborating to get the karaoke while the third just executed his plan the same time as the other two. So, sorry to the Kisame, Hidan and Zetsu fans… I did tell you that brainstorming is not my thing. Besides, if I separate Zetsu's part, the chapters will be shorter than my target of at least 1000 words per chapter (not including the author's notes, of course).
Disclaimer: Don't own the Akatsuki.
Kisame quickly entered into Hidan's room without knocking since the younger man never gave a damn about respect and manners anyway. The shark man quickly made Hidan pay attention and filled him up about the Taki-nin's double advantage but failed strategy.
"O-fucking-kay… so Girly-man, the blue-haired bitch, Lollipop Face and Mr. Money-whore all failed?" Hidan asked for clarification when the blue-skinned ninja finished updating him of the failure status of the Making Sasori Sing Challenge.
"Yeah…" Kisame answered quietly. "Keep your voice down, Hidan, Sasori might hear us…"
The Yu-nin scoffed. "Yeah right, Sharky, like Pinocchio knows…"
"He already knows, Hidan. Kakuzu told him," the Kiri-nin mumbled.
"Well, fuck that stitched-up heathen," the albino cussed, annoyed. "What the fuck are we supposed to do? Obviously, we're not gonna fuckin' trick him to do this shit," he muttered.
Kisame leaned towards the younger man, businesslike. "I have an idea, but you gotta agree to help me."
"Only if it's worth a fuck to me," Hidan said, narrowing his purple eyes.
"We make a deal with Sasori and challenge him. We win; WE get to own the karaoke machine," the shark-nin said confidently.
The Jashinist suddenly felt an urge to smack the older man's head with a fist. "He doesn't give a damn about the machine, fish stick," he growled, trying hard not to yell. "He doesn't even own the fuckin' thing. That's not gonna work."
Kisame smiled brightly, jagged teeth showing. "'Course, it'll work," he countered assertively. "You don't even know what deal is, yet."
"Okay, fine. What?"
"We challenge him to a duel. We win, we get to order him around for a week. He wins, we're his personal servants for a week," was the answer.
The Yu-nin's eyes widened. Kisame must be going senile. "A week? Are you fucking high, man?"
"Come on, Hidan," Kisame pleaded, trying to look cute but obviously failing. "He never takes a deal without high stakes. Besides, it's going to be practically the first time someone besides Leader orders him to do something."
Hidan raised an eyebrow. Somehow, in that air-filled head of his, he felt that this plan is doomed to fail. "How can you be fucking sure we're winning?"
"Easy. We're both proficient taijutsu users, and two against one is hardly fair," the shark-nin lightly explained.
"Fine, I accept. Something gets screwed, it's your shitting fault," the Jashinist muttered.
"Deal." The two shook hands, the immortal rather unwillingly.
Hidan and Kisame, bearing their respective weapons, went to the puppeteer's bedroom door. The two made a deal earlier in which the Jashinist lost, so the albino opened the door. They found the redhead sitting at his desk, a flask containing some purple liquid (a new poison, no doubt) in his hand. Sasori looked at the two with his typical heavy-lidded, bored façade, even though he was annoyed as hell to find the two interrupting his poison making.
"Okay, what the hell are you two doing here?" he asked exasperatedly. Ever since the Taki-nin told him about the challenge, he gets exceedingly aggravated every time he felt a chakra presence outside his bedroom door. "If it's about the stupid karaoke machine, then get it over with. You're not going to make me sing for your sake."
Kisame already sensed something like this happening, and had readied an answer just in case. "Indirectly, yes, it IS about the karaoke machine. But we're making you take a deal," he countered, Samehada at the ready just in case he needed to threaten the puppet man into taking the agreement. Hidan desperately wanted to strangle the shark-man for dragging him into his plan, which he obviously can't do since he doesn't have a plan of his own in order to get the machine.
The redhead sighed; apparently he can't get out of this without confronting the blue-skinned shinobi. "Fine," he groaned. "I'll humor you. What?"
"Challenge you to a duel," Kisame confidently said. "You versus Hidan and me. We win; you're our servant for the week. You win; we're both your slaves for a week."
Sasori thought for a moment, and then smirked. "Fine," he said. "How do we know if someone already won?"
"If the enemy is or are no longer able to move, I guess," Kisame shrugged.
"Deal."
The Kiri-nin grinned. "Shake on it."
The puppeteer quickly took the shark man's hand and shook it, that smirk of his practically making hospitals and school clinics get overpopulated with fainting fangirls. Holy shit of Jashin, Kisame just didn't know what trouble he got Hidan and himself into.
Sasori stood at one end of the field, the breeze gently blowing his bangs in such a way that it caused more fangirls to sigh and have MOE moments at the hotness of our main character. He is already at the ready with a cool pose and the Third Kazekage on his back.
Kisame and Hidan stood at the other side, the Jashinist wielding his three-bladed scythe with one hand while his inner self cursed even more than normal at their predicament. The Kiri-nin on the other hand did not notice anything wrong and was smiling like an idiot at the thought of having to order the haughty, stoic puppeteer around. While he was relishing at this thought, a rain of kunai suddenly flew from the puppet.
The immortal managed to pull the other out of the way. "You fucking idiot!" he shouted. "You really want to be that sadist's slave?"
The shark-man only blinked at the younger man before charging at the redhead, Samehada held high.
The Suna-nuke-nin merely shook his head in amusement, before blasting a cloud of poison at Kisame. The swordsman cursed inwardly and held his breath while the cloud enveloped him. He quickly fumbled around for an explosive tag and kunai, tied the tag into the knife then threw the weapon at the place where he last saw the puppet while jumping away from the poison.
Sasori saw this and avoided the flying knife, only to get attacked by Hidan from behind. The immortal swung his scythe at the puppet man, knowing that slicing his body won't kill him (as long as the heart is not hit, of course) but will ensure them a sure victory.
The redhead, again, noticed this and with a quick movement of his hand, quickly produced a blade from his arm and cut off the Jashinist's head with it.
"FUCK YOU!" the silver-haired head roared in annoyance and pain as it rolled on the ground.
"One down, one more to go," Sasori muttered. He looked around before getting drenched by a large amount of water. Hidan's head and immobile body floated around the manmade (should I say shark-made?) lake.
"Suiton: Giant Vortex Technique!" Kisame shouted when the redhead, his auburn eyes wide with astonishment, finally saw him. The Suna-nin got included in the giant whirlpool that ensued.
When the tsunami calmed down, it left the puppeteer lying motionless with the Third Kazekage sprawled beside him. Kisame grinned at the side, and went to approach the puppet bodies.
Which turned into two logs in a puff of smoke.
Kisame's dot-like eyes widened as he searched for Sasori. He was just about to run looking for the body when he found himself unable to run.
"You said if the enemy can't move the other wins?" the puppeteer asked, perched on a tree with the Third Kazekage back in its scroll, his right hand held out in its usual stance when controlling marionettes, chakra strings extending. "Well, here you are now, as still as one of my artworks when I'm not controlling them. Only, I'm controlling you," he said, smirking as he flexed three of his fingers.
The swordsman's body assumed the Caramelldansen pose. "Damn," he cussed.
"Told ya fucking so…" Hidan's head muttered as it floated peacefully on the still water.
Sasori summoned a minor puppet of his and used it to pick up Hidan's head and body. Then he walked back to the base, dragging Kisame along by, controlling him like a puppet. At the front door of the base, he saw Kakuzu holding a very, very gigantic suitcase most likely filled with money.
"So you really sold that snake at one of your exchange points?" the redhead asked dryly. He still hadn't forgotten the last time Kakuzu went to his room.
"Yep!" the medic-nin replied gleefully. "They gave me a hundred million ryou for that corpse!"
"Moneywhore…" Hidan muttered. "At least that pedophile's fuckin' gone for good."
Kakuzu seemingly beamed underneath his mask, which made everyone present form a sweat drop on their foreheads.
"Right…" the Suna-nin deadpanned. "Fix him for me, will you?" he asked, making the puppet hold out the immortal's head.
The Taki-nin complied, making the body sit upright and sewing the head back on properly. The last time he sewed the head, it was on backwards. The whole group of S-rank criminals had to endure the Jashinist's complaints and swears for one whole week before he removed the head from the body and put it on right. But at least, they enjoyed annoying him.
They then entered the base, Kakuzu going to his room to add up the money he got from selling Orochimaru and the others back to Sasori's room.
When he opened the door, he found Zetsu messing with his CDs.
"Zetsu," the puppeteer started. "What are you doing with my CDs?"
"None of your business, Pinocchio. Nothing, Sasori-san."
"Then get out."
The plant-nin sank beneath the floor. Once they're gone, the redhead checked if anything is missing or the like. Nothing appeared amiss. Thank God, his secret is still safe.
Once they got in, Sasori sat on his beloved wooden chair and looked at the two, one with a look of killing intent directed at the other who looked like his hopes were crushed.
"A deal's a deal, people," Sasori drawled. Kami, that smirk of his really is deadly; half the population of Sasori fangirls was probably dead by now by the overwhelming hotness of the redhead.
The two nodded. "Hai, Sasori-sama," they said simultaneously.
Again, the redhead smirked, causing the half of the remaining population of fangirls to die.
"Good, then get out," he ordered, removing the chakra strings from Kisame's joints so he could get away.
The two scurried out. Once the door is closed, Hidan tackled the older man into the ground and strangled him.
"IMMA KILL YOU!" he screamed.
"KYAAA! LET GO OF ME!"
The noise was so loud that the noise wasn't even blocked by the soundproof door. The sadistic puppeteer relished in the yelling of the two people outside his door.
If you noticed that I put too much emphasis on Sasori's hotness, coolness and other characteristics, don't mind me; I'm just exaggerating. But then, maybe you people will say I'm not.
And I didn't mean to make Hidan smarter than usual…
Sorry for Zetsu's extremely short screen time! It's because of my habit to ignore him since he's always hidden and stuff.
P.S. I am now a fan of Sasori x Chair. It's just so plain random. XD
Review please! :3
