This has been a rough week, and although I've proofread this chapter a WHOLE bunch of times, I don't feel like it's my best work. Yes, it advances the plot to the next point, and it says what I wanted it to say, but I wanted it to be...more, I guess. And I HATE that there's a complete lack of funny in here now - the story started off kind of lighthearted and smartassy...but, I guess there's nothing lighthearted about this particular point in the story! Here comes the angst!

My son started kindergarten this week and apparently hates school, cries and begs every day to stay home...it's breaking my heart, I'm stressing out over that, so I feel like I'm off my game with my writing. Better stuffs coming in the next chapter, if I can de-stress a bit over the weekend. :)

Please read, review and enjoy!


Tifa's heart leapt into her throat when she heard Cloud's motorcycle taking off. How did we not notice him slip out? It took only seconds.. and then he was just gone, she thought. At just that precise moment – really, just the exact wrong moment - Reno had been trying to reach Tseng on his cell phone, Tifa had been reeling in shock upon hearing that Sephiroth was, in all probability…still alive – and Cloud took advantage of that one moment of distraction, to slip out unnoticed.

She ran out of the restaurant, and the sight before her just made her heart drop. Reno was sitting up against the wall, head in his hands, sobbing hysterically. It was heartbreaking, although Tifa understood Reno's angst all too well; it was never easy being in love with someone like Cloud. She would know that better than anyone, really.

Biting her lip to keep from crying, Tifa knelt down next to Reno. Rude had followed Tifa outside, and ran up the street to follow Cloud's tire tracks, cell phone to his ear. He was phoning Tseng to report this latest incident, of Cloud taking off to find Sephiroth.

Rude glanced briefly at Tifa comforting his partner, who looked as much unlike a hardened Turk as one could imagine. Reno looked like a broken man; it shook Rude to the core, to see his tough talking partner reduced to a weepy mess. Rude gritted his teeth , vowing to get even with Cloud…if he ever caught up to him. Nobody does THAT to Reno and gets away with it, Rude thought angrily. I should have warned him not to get involved with Cloud…gods, look at the number he pulled on Tifa.

"Reno," Tifa crooned, trying to comfort the hysterical Turk. "It'll be okay, Reno. I'm here, Rude is here…I'm going to call in our friends. We'll go to the Northern Crater to get Cloud, I promise," she assured him.

Sniffling, Reno managed a weak smile. "Thanks, Tifa," he said softly. "I'm…sorry about the waterworks, yo. I just can't believe he left me like that…"

Tifa gave Reno a hard look. "I believe it," she replied firmly. "You've got to understand, Reno – Cloud just sets his mind to something and does it. And damn the consequences. He's not someone who expresses his feelings easily, he does so by…his actions, I guess."

Reno pondered this for a moment. "Hmm," he scoffed. "Then I guess Cloud declaring his undying love for me was just bullshit then, huh?" he snapped.

"Reno," Tifa said quietly, "Listen to me. Cloud never told me he loved me…and he never looked at me the way I saw him looking at you tonight. If he said those words to you, and the way that he said them…then I believe that he meant them, with every fiber of his being."

"No," Tifa stopped Reno, who began to protest, "don't argue with me. See, I know Cloud...probably even better than he knows himself….and I know this: he loves you, Reno. Like I told you…I saw it in his eyes. " Tifa paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts.

"And one more thing - I know, this will sound completely fucked up," Tifa continued, "but – Cloud is Cloud, you know! I think in his head…well, he went after Sephiroth to save YOU from having to do it."

Choking back a sob, Reno groaned. "Oh gods," he muttered. "See, I'd do anything for him, too…but why wouldn't he wait for me? We could have fought Sephiroth together!" He slumped back against the wall he was sitting against. "Damn his stubborn ass!" Reno said angrily. His sadness and fear was quickly evaporating into full-out rage. Rage against Cloud for leaving, rage against Sephiroth for somehow coming back from the dead...why was this happening? Why now?

Sighing, Tifa hugged Reno and said, "If I know Cloud as well as I believe I do…Cloud loves you so much that HE would rather die fighting Sephiroth, than to have you….die."

"Gods," Reno sniffed. "No. No, Cloud will NOT fucking die! Do you hear me, Tifa? I will not let him die." he said firmly. "Okay. Right," he continued, attempting to collect himself. "Tifa, I'm going to track down Tseng. You get on the phone and call everyone….Rude?" Reno looked at his partner questioningly.

"Already on it, Reno," replied Rude. "I called Tseng back and told him what happened. He's not happy, but he gave us the green light to attempt a rescue mission. Let's go find Cloud, Reno."

"Thanks, partner," Reno said with a slight smile. "You're always one step ahead of me. Tifa," he continued, "Rude and I are going to get a chopper and head up there. Call everyone you can think of…Barret, Vincent, Yuffie…everyone...do you think you can get Cid to fly all of you?"

Tifa nodded vigorously. "I'm sure if he's not busy, he'll do it," she replied. "And even if he IS busy, he'll drop whatever he's doing for this."

Reno sighed, sounding a bit relieved. "Okay then. Sounds like we've got a plan in motion. You realize," he said evenly, "that I'm going to fucking kill Cloud when I see him. Running out on me and shit, what the fuck is that about?" he said irritably.

"Great," said Rude sarcastically. "So I get to witness your first lover's spat?"

"Yeah," chuckled Reno. "Something like that." At least….I hope you do, Rude, thought Reno. I hope you do.


The wind bit against Cloud's tear-stained face as he sped away on Fenrir. He could still hear Reno's shouting, begging him not to go. I fucked up, thought Cloud, crying. The best thing that's ever happened to me, and I fucked it up. Gods, I hope Reno can forgive me…but the fact remains, I have to be the one to deal with Sephiroth, not him. I mean, what if something happened to Reno, I'd never forgive myself.

Did you ever stop and think, Cloud, that Reno feels the same way? That he'd rather die than to lose you?

Cloud shook his head, trying to ignore that voice. No, he thought, I guess I didn't think. I just …reacted. But I have to settle this, yet again. Sephiroth must not be allowed to return.

Why does it always have to be you, Cloud? Why do you feel you are the only one who can save the Planet?

"Well, I did it once before, didn't I?" Cloud said out loud, stubbornly. I've gotta get to Cid…maybe he'll let me borrow a plane…

You didn't save the Planet alone, Cloud. Yes, you defeated Sephiroth on your own, but your friends were there with you throughout the entire journey. You never could have gotten as far as you did, by yourself. Why turn your back on them now when they are willing to help?

Because, thought Cloud, putting them all through hell once was enough. Besides, things are different now, with Reno in my life. I want to protect him.

How noble of you. Reno doesn't need to be protected, Cloud. He's not Aerith.

Where the hell did that come from? Cloud wondered. No, he's not Aerith, I know that…and I know he can handle himself. I'm just afraid…what Sephiroth might do to Reno, if he knew how much Reno means to me. I know how Sephiroth is…he wants to destroy…everything, everyone I care about.

Fair enough. But even if you win this battle against Sephiroth, Cloud…you still may lose everything.

Ending the conversation with himself, Cloud accelerated his motorcycle. He was en route to Cid Highwind's place outside of Kalm. Cid had recently established a municipal airport there, and kept most of his fleet of airplanes there, with the remainder back in Rocket Town. Cloud was hoping Cid would see fit to let him borrow a small plane; he was confident enough in his piloting abilities, that he didn't think he'd have much trouble flying a single engine plane, or even a twin engine. It's not like I want to borrow the Highwind, Cloud thought wryly.

Pulling up alongside one of the hangars, Cloud cut Fenrir's engine, and engaged the kickstand. Dismounting the motorcycle, he wandered into the hangar, looking for Cid, or at the very least, someone who could tell him where Cid was. Being an accomplished aviator, Cid was fond of taking off at a moment's notice, without a word to anyone. Kind of like what I just pulled on Reno, Cloud thought guiltily. Frowning, he kicked at the dusty ground with his shoe; then, proceeded further into the hangar. He came upon an airplane mechanic was busily adjusting a propeller blade; the man started when he realized Cloud was silently standing behind him, wordlessly.

"Can I help you?" the mechanic asked Cloud, eyeing him warily.

"I'm looking for Cid. He around?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah. In his office," the mechanic replied, jerking his head toward the small building adjacent to the hangar. "Name's Jake, I'm one of Cid's new guys," he said, offering his hand. "And you are?"

"Cloud Strife. Good to meet you, Jake," Cloud replied, shaking the mechanic's hand.

Jake raised an eyebrow at the mention of Cloud's name. "Cloud Strife, eh? The Cloud Strife? Wow, man. What brings you all the way out here, my friend?

"I need a plane," Cloud replied shortly, as they reached the door of Cid's office. "If you'll excuse me…"

"Sure, sure," said Jake distractedly. "Um…if you need anything, you know where I'm at."

"Thanks, Jake," Cloud replied absently.

Cid was on the phone as Cloud entered. "Look, asshole," Cid barked into the receiver, "you short me again on my jet fuel, and I'll rip you a new asshole! Yeah, you too. Fucknut." Cid slammed down the receiver, grumbling. Looking up, he caught sight of Cloud standing in the doorway, and raised an eyebrow. "Cloud," said Cid, getting up from his chair to greet him. "Long time no see. Whatcha been up to, kid?"

"Cid, I need a plane," Cloud replied. "I know, it's short notice…sorry about that…let's just say it's an emergency."

"Emergency? What kinda emergency warrants needin' a plane at the drop of a hat?" Cid demanded. He took a long drag off of the cigarette that was dangling from his mouth. "What's this about, Cloud?"

"Cid, it's-please, I can't answer any questions right now. Just know that I wouldn't ask you unless I had a good reason," Cloud pleaded.

Sighing, Cid relented, and searched the pegboard over his desk for the ignition keys to one of his single engine planes. "You can have one of the little guys, single engine. Think you can handle 'er?" Cid asked, tossing the keys to Cloud.

Catching the keys, Cloud replied, "Sure can. Between you and Reno giving me flying lessons last year, I'm not such a bad pilot."

Cloud felt his face fall with his mention of Reno, and guilt flooded over him. I hadn't thought about that in so long, Cloud mused. We had so much fun…even though Reno was fucking around and showing off in the chopper. He smiled at the memory. Was that when this…infatuation started? Cloud pondered.

He remembered his initial shock on that day, when he realized that, yes…Reno was actually flirting with him, while showing him the instrumentation on his helicopter. Cloud remembered their hands brushing together as Reno instructed him on how to manipulate the throttle…how that touch just…did something inexplicable to him that day. I remember…looking into Reno's eyes after that…just longing to kiss him…and then…suddenly remembering that I had to go home to Tifa, Cloud thought. So many things have changed since then…most of them for the better.

Until today.

The gruff voice of Cid interrupted Cloud's reverie. "I don't like this, Cloud," muttered Cid. "Something's wrong with ya, I can tell. Now," he continued, "I don't doubt your flying ability one bit, or I wouldn't be handin' ya these keys. Tell me what's going on."

Cloud hesitated before going on. "Cid…I don't want to lie to you….which is why I'm not telling you everything. So yeah," Cloud admitted, "I'm holding something back. But listen…do this for me, please. I'm sorry I can't tell you anything more, Cid, I really am," Cloud apologized.

Cid sighed again, and stubbed out his cigarette. "Shit," he grumbled. "Like I said, I don't like this. You better not be pulling any crazy shit with my plane, either," Cid warned, wagging his finger at Cloud.

Smiling, Cloud nodded. "It'll be fine, Cid. And…thank you."

"You're welcome," Cid grumbled. "Come on, let's get out there, I'll show you the bird you'll be flying, and we'll go through our preflight checklist, okay?"

"Okay", agreed Cloud. "I want to be airborne as quickly as possible. But," he stressed, grinning at Cid, "I won't fuck around with preflight."

"Good answer, kid," Cid replied gruffly. "Here she is….isn't she a beaut?" Cid remarked, as he led Cloud to a Cessna that was painted an odd shade of chartreuse.

"Um…nice color, Cid," Cloud grinned. He scooted up the stepladder and into the cockpit of the plane. "Okay. I haven't been out in maybe a month," Cloud admitted, "but walk me through everything here, Cid, if you don't mind."

"Okay," agreed Cid. "I'm glad ya have sense enough to follow proper flight procedure here. All right, kid. I'll radio the tower first, get a runway cleared for ya."

Cloud sat back in the cockpit, alone with his thoughts, while Cid radioed the tower. Shouldn't have left Reno, Cloud thought again guiltily.

It's not too late. Turn around—go back to him.

I can't. This is my battle…to fight alone. But what if…what if I fail?

Looking up, Cloud saw Cid trotting back toward the plane. "Okay, Cloud, runway nine is cleared for ya. Let's go through this list, shall we?

"Just a minute, Cid," Cloud interrupted. "Do you have pen and paper handy?"

Sighing, Cid pointed into the cockpit. "Clipboard in there, pens in a cup next to it. I thought you were in a hurry?" Cid grumbled.

"I just need to write…something. Give me a minute," Cloud replied.

"Don't be startin' her up till you're ready," Cid warned. "Jet fuel ain't cheap, you know."

"Thanks, Cid," said Cloud. He sighed, and began writing on the paper tucked in the clipboard.

Reno,

By the time you get this letter, I will already be at the Northern Crater. I know you must be angry with me for taking off the way I did – hell, I'm pretty pissed at myself for doing that to you. I can still hear your screams for me to stop, to come back…I pretended I didn't hear you, but I did. It killed me to do that to you…I love you so much, but that's why I did this. Maybe I couldn't save Aerith…but I can try to spare you that same fate.

This is my battle to fight, me and Sephiroth. I will do everything in my power to defeat Sephiroth, and I will come back to you…but if, gods forbid, something goes wrong…at least I will die with the knowledge that you are safe.

I love you more than life, Reno…even my own.

Cloud

The words were starting to run together, as tears fell from Cloud's eyes. A large droplet fell right in the middle of the page, making the ink blur. Sniffling, Cloud folded up the letter and handed it to Cid.

"Cid," Cloud said hoarsely, "Can you do me one more favor? Please…if anything should happen to me…can you see that Reno gets this letter? And it's, uh…private."

"What is this 'if anything should happen' horseshit?" Cid barked as he took the letter from Cloud. "What the hell is really going on here?" Cid's eyes were ablaze as he started to realize there was more to the situation than Cloud was letting on.

"No time for small talk," Cloud snapped. "I'm going to run through everything and get this bird in the air. Seat belt – check. Beacon on – check. Test brakes – check. Carbuerator—"

"Cloud, goddammit," interrupted Cid angrily. "You get the fuck out of my plane now, and tell me what's going on!"

Cloud continued his checklist, ignoring Cid. "Ignition. Wing flaps up. Throttle to full—"

"God fucking dammit, GET OFF MY PLANE!" bellowed Cid. Furious though he was, Cid had backed away from the aircraft, as the propeller was fully engaged by this point.

Lowering his goggles, Cloud gave Cid a thumbs-up to Cid, lowered the cockpit hood and began his taxi toward the runway. "I'm sorry!" he mouthed to Cid, shrugging his shoulders sheepishly.

Cid threw his cigarette to the ground as Cloud piloted the plane toward its departure point, and he ran back to his office. Gotta call Tifa, Cid thought. I don't know what the fuck that kid is thinking, but maybe she'll have some idea…

As Cid dialed Tifa's number, he saw the plane taxiing down the runway, and saw Cloud take off, lifting the nose of the plane off of the ground, and ascending into the sky. Well I'll be damned, thought Cid. Kid's a crack pilot after all.

"Tifa's Seventh Heaven," came a shaky sounding voice on the other end of the line.

"This Tifa? Cid Highwind here," Cid began, not recognizing the voice. He suddenly realized he was still holding Cloud's letter in his hand, and ran his finger along the folds. Cloud said not to open it, but…

"Oh Cid!" Tifa sobbed. "I was just going to call you! Can you pilot us to the Northern Crater? And I mean all of us…I've just called Barret, and Vincent and Yuffie, they're on their way here, I think they're going to get Nanaki…"

"Hold on Tifa," interrupted Cid. "Why in hell would you want to go up there?" He decided, against his better judgment, to open Cloud's letter. Private, my ass, thought Cid, that motherfucker has my goddamn plane.

A quick glance at the letter's contents told Cid everything he needed to know. "Oh fuck, Tifa," Cid groaned. "This isn't about….Sephiroth, is it?"

"Yes," Tifa cried. "How did you know?"

"Um," Cid lied, "I just figured…what with the Northern Crater and all..."

"Well, unfortunately you're right," replied Tifa. "Cloud's heading up there, he took off from here without a word. I've been calling all of our friends…the Turks are heading up a rescue mission now."

"Erm," Cid began hesitantly, "I don't know how to tell ya this, but…Cloud was just here, wantin' to borrow a plane."

"What! Is Cloud still there—" Tifa started.

Suddenly another voice came on the phone. "Highwind, this is Reno. Put Cloud on the phone…please," he pleaded.

"Can't do that," Cid said glumly. "He's…gone. Said he wanted to borrow a plane, so I—"

"What?" Reno exploded. "So you just fucking let him take off, alone, to fight Sephiroth? What the fuck were you thinking?"

"Shut up for a minute, would ya!" Cid retorted. "All's he said was, he needed to borrow a plane. Didn't say what for. You think for one minute that I woulda let him take off alone, to face certain death?" Cid winced as he said those last two words.

He heard Reno make a choking sound. "Did you at least try to stop him?" Reno asked, quietly.

"I did, Reno, I did," Cid replied, trying to sound reassuring. "After a while it seemed like something was…off. So I called Cloud on it, but he fucking took off. In my new plane," Cid added. "Oh, Reno…he left a letter for ya. I'll make sure you get it."

A letter from Cloud, thought Reno. Gaia, I have a bad feeling about this

"Cid, here's the plan," Reno instructed. "Rude and I are heading back to headquarters right now. I'm grabbing a chopper, Elena and Tseng are joining us in a rescue mission. You get the Highwind ready for flight, Tifa and the others will be by within the hour."

"Done and done," replied Cid. "And Reno…look, I'm really sorry…I woulda stopped him if I had known…"

Reno sighed. "Look…what's done is done," he said. "And chances are, Cloud wouldn't have listened to you anyway, you know? Anyway, I gotta get going now that we've got a plan in motion. I'll see you up at the Crater."

"Okay. Put Tifa back on," Cid instructed.

Reno handed the phone back to a tearful Tifa. "Tifa," Cid said, "Look…like I was just tellin' Reno, I never woulda let Cloud take the plane if I had known…"

"It's okay, Cid," Tifa said softly. "I mean, how could you know? I'm sure Cloud told you nothing about his real reason for borrowing a plane," she said bitterly.

"Yeah. Still, I knew something was up…shoulda stopped him," Cid sighed. "Anyway. We'll make this right. I'll ready the Highwind, you get everyone up to my airport, and we can take off right away, okay Tifa?"

"All right," Tifa agreed, sounding a bit more relieved. "I'll call you when we're on our way."

"Good girl," Cid replied, trying to sound cheery. "See you then."

Hanging up the phone, Cid once again glanced down at Cloud's letter to Reno. Shouldn't have peeked at it, Cid thought. That was wrong.

"Oh, Reno," Cid said aloud, shaking his head. "You poor bastard. I hope you rip Cloud a new one when we get there." If we get there before…anything bad happens…


A/N: I hope I did the aviation stuff justice. I wrote that having my dad in mind...he used to be an airplane mechanic, and loved everything about flying. He always wanted to buy himself a single engine plane when he retired, but his debilitating illness got in the way, so that dream is unfortunately gone.