The Link Life

Link's "Day 6" Memory: Link tried to live a normal life and settle down with his wife, but tables turned when he met up with Midna and she sent Link's mind back to the Twilight Realm. Link went crazy, displaying insanity in crowded places, with Hyrule totally oblivious to the realm he was in. Now Link is hated by many, and adored by many (those crazy colt folks). He now thinks he's meant to be evil and that he can rise up to be the next bad boy of Hyrule.

Day 7
"Black Link"

(Death Mountain) Hyrule Local Time: 6:30 A.M.
(Goron City)
(Shop)

Setting: Link visits the Gorons to get a specially made Black Tunic to fit his new evil image.

Goron: Black eh? I can do that. You've always been a positive symbol to us, Link.
Link: ……

::The Goron takes a tunic off the shelves::
::He wraps it around a stick and holds it over a fire, turning it 360 degrees until the whole tunic was a black crisp::

Goron: Done.
Link: Perfect.

(Lon Lon Ranch) Hyrule Local Time: 7:08 A.M.

Ganondorf: We will now corrupt Hyrule even more. Men, kill these chickens. Kill them all.

::Ganondorf smiles::

Man #1: Uhm, Master? What good is that going to do? They can get plenty more chickens.
Ganondorf: You're right. I'm just on a power trip, this is serious shit.

(Kakariko Village) Hyrule Local Time: 7:45 A.M.

Ganondorf: (determined) He.. he.. he… burn it. Burn this village to the ground.
Man #1: Well that's really original.
Ganondorf: Why do you have to ruin every brilliant plan I get?
Man #1: People will expect that you'll burn the village. It's so predictable.
Ganondorf: What do you suggest?
Man #1: We brainwash all of them. Make our mark on the town. Get into the high ranks. A higher voice of reason… and then these people will do everything we command.
Ganondorf: Shit your right! God you're good. You're promoted to my assistant.
Man #1: Thank you Master.
Ganondorf: Ha who am I kidding… you're not promoted.
Man #2: You should pick another village. The mayor of this one is a Satanist. He'll smell evil all over your ass Ganon.
Ganondorf: Good call. Hmm which village?

::Ganondorf takes out a map::

Ganondorf: You think I would have memorized Hyrule by now.

(Castle Town) Hyrule Local Time: 9:20 A.M.

::Link rides through Castle Town on Epona with his head held high, wearing his black tunic and starring down people evilly::
::The townspeople look back blankly::
::Kids run up to the side of Epona::

Kids: A horse! A horse! Can I pet-
Link: (interrupting) Back off! Back off!

::Link whales his hand around::

Link: Mine. Only mine.

::The kids run off crying::
::Navi spies on Link from behind a building::

Hyrule Local Time: 9:33 A.M.

::Link hangs around Castle Town, waiting to pull something completely unnecessary to further his evil reputation::
::A little boys ball flies towards Link and rolls on the ground::
::Link stops it with his foot::
::Link kicks the ball back::
::Realizing his just committed a good deed out of instinct, Link takes out his bow and shoots the air blown ball, popping it::
::Boy runs home crying::

Link: Haha… one bad deed done. Time to rest.

::Link hangs out at his house::

Link: (finishing off a snickers bar) Just one bad action and I call it a day? Wow I really am a pussy…

::Link leaves::

(Castle Town) Hyrule Local Time: 12:30 P.M.
(Dark Alleyway)

::In order to get into the bad guy mentality, Link participates in a drug deal::
::He had no intention of doing the drugs himself::

Link: You got the stuff?
Dealer: What you want?
Link: What you got?
Dealer: What you want?
Link: Caffeine. Lots and lots of caffeine. Hehe.

::Dealer gives Link a weird stare and runs off::
::A video compiled of all of the late rapper Tupac's interviews fall out of the dealers back pocket::

Link: (picking up the tape) ….?

(Kokiri Forest) Hyrule Local Time: 1:45 P.M.

::Link firmly thought that Epona had gone soft and wasn't evil enough::
::He felt obligated to start whipping her repeatedly until she turned tough::

Link: (crying and lashing) This is how it's gotta be Epona. Please, forgive me.

::Epona moans in horror, unable to escape because she was tied to a tree stump::
::Link continues to whip:

Link: Noooooo!!!

(Ganon's Office) Hyrule Local Time: 1:50 P.M.

Ganondorf: (thinking deeply) Tell me, do you think I'm evil?
Man #2: Totally evil Master.
Ganondorf: Then why do I like to watch Miley Cyrus. I own all seasons. I also watch Oprah at 5 every day.
Man #2: That's why you want us to knock.
Ganondorf: Seriously, am I an evil son of a bitch?
Man #2: If I ever saw you, I'd cream my pants. Not gonna lie.
Ganondorf: (putting his arm on Man #2's shoulder) You're a good man. On the other hand, I wonder about Man #1. He always pushes me around secretively. I can feel his pushy vibe.
Man #2….
Ganondorf: Never mind. We have chaos to cause. Let's move.

::Man #1 stood outside the office with his ear plugged to the door::

Man #1: (grinning) Ganon is insecure with himself. This could get interesting…

(Kokiri Forest) Hyrule Local Time: 3:00 P.M.
(Link's Hut)

::Link spends three hours entranced in watching Tupac Interviews::
::He gets immoral ideas::

(Kakariko Village) Hyrule Local Time: 6:30 P.M.
(Malo Mart)

::Link walks in with intentions to rob::
::The owner stares weirdly at him::

Link: (to himself) Be cool. Be cool.
Owner: Can I help you?
Link: Yeah. You can help me by…

::Link tries to pull his sword out, but it was stuck::

Owner: Do you have a problem sir?
Link: Yeah. My problem is…

::Link's sword wouldn't pull::

Owner: Sir, Im gonna have to ask you to leave.
Link: (backing out, figuring his act of suprise was ruined) It's because I'm black isn't it?!

(Castle Town) Hyrule Local Time: 7:00 P.M.

::The whole town was deserted except for a few die hard Castle Town fans here and there::
::Something wasn't right::
::But what did Link care? He had no interest in saving the Land of Hyrule anymore::
::To flaunt his new sinful lifestyle, Link checks out the strip club that recently opened in town::
::Navi spies on him from above::

(Burb's Strip Joint) Hyrule Local Time: 7:10 P.M.

::Link has a seat near the stage::
::He wipes off some of the ashes from this new black tunic::
::A lady walks by with a tray full of alcohol::
::Link swipes one of the drinks and tosses the straw::
::The strippers walk off the stage::
::An announcer preps the microphone::

Announcer: (followed after a loud "zing") And now for our finest lady of the evening. She's wet, she's wild, and she's new. Give it up for…. (under his breath) I feel so weird saying this… (louder) The luscious Tatiana White.

::Zelda appears on stage wearing a black curled hair wig, makeup used in excess, her new boob job openly exposed (that Link suggested she got), and an outfit crossed between school girl and hooker that says "I'm conservative but I can also rock your world"::
::Link is shocked but by this time he had already downed three alcoholic drinks so he was interested in the performance::
::Zelda shakes her ass and bumps her tits::
::Link couldn't stop following her motions with his happy eyes::
::Suddenly, a random man reaches over the stage and tries to grab Zelda's underwear::
::Link gets pissed, walks over to the man, and starts beating him down::

Zelda: Link what the hell!

::The man passes out::
::Link jumps on the stage and grabs Zelda::

Announcer: Someone get this fag outta here.
Guy in crowd: Hey loser! Go get your own ass!
Link: Hey shut up buddy!
Zelda: Link! Stop it!
Link: What are you doing here?!
Zelda: I'm helping to raise money for the town since the nightlife has been dull. I figured I could do a couple side jobs at night to help out.
Link: Where is everyone at?
Zelda: Gerudo Valley. Some prostitution thing.
Link: Hmmm…
Zelda: I tell you what. If things don't work out here, I'm heading over there.
Link: No you are not!

::Zelda punches Link in the face::
::Link fly's off the stage and into a couple of tables::

(Kokiri Forest) Hyrule Local Time: 9:30 P.M.
(Link's Hut)

::Link picks up the Hyrule Times Magazine he got a few days earlier::

Link: I think I'll visit Gerudo Valley tomorrow.

::Link falls asleep::
::Navi watches from outside the window::
::She flies off::