Natalia had butterflies in her stomach,
fog in her brain, and her knees felt like jelly. All at once. Just two weeks ago, her soon to be ex-husband had been put in jail. Natalia wasn't really ready to deal with those memories yet.
Two weeks ago, she'd been without an apartment, having sold her old one (thank all the Gods on the planet she'd bought that one before she met Nick, and had kept it in her name and on her pay check), she'd been without a job, and without a husband.
She missed the good times.
Her support group members told her it was natural to feel sorrow at this point, but that the shrink and all of them would be there for her whenever she needed.
She needed them a lot these days, and was hoping to repay them one day. Or someone new.
One week ago, she'd suddenly "won" a federal grant for investigating cold cases at the Dade Lab, had packed her stuff from Cristina's mini- place, and had given the down payment for a miniature apartment, but in a very good area.
Maybe apartment was a bit generous, it was more like four walls and everything else to renovate, she couldn't afford anything else. Besides, the only ones stopping by would be her sisters and some of the group people, who cared she slept on a mattress on the floor and the bathroom was from the 50ies?
If anything, she'd learned that she needed to have something to sell in case she ever needed cash again.
One week ago, she'd been virtually alone in the semi deserted lab, most people where on holiday, and she'd enjoyed getting to know the place better.
ALSO.
Small black cloud.
The grant was clearly bound to some snooping around. The feds had told her the lab was rouge, and to report in once a week about conditions.
So far, everything was in order. As far as she could see, all protocols had been followed, and why did the DA look so disappointed and angry at her news?
But beggars cannot be choosers.
She just had to keep her economy floating, and her little baby sis Anya needed money for head shots, and Cristina needed college money, and she had the mortgage and all the rest to think of.
Natalia had become a living calculator, that's what.
She needed to watch it, and here they also had a micro wave, to heat her lunch box with leftovers, and a bus went from house to house. It took an hour instead of 20 minutes to get to work, and if she had to work later than 7.30pm she had to take the evening bus, taking even longer, but she didn't need to be anywhere, and this way she could save lots of money.
It's not what you earn, it's what you don't spend!
Natalia so wished her grandma would stop talking to her in her head.
One day ago, she'd even smiled at a guy she'd have been terrified of a month ago. That stupid shrink was helping, after all.
And her broken arm ( now healed) had finally stopped aching, after months of physical therapy, and her kidney's were back to normal after months of medicines after that kick Nick had planted in that last fight.
She'd nearly died, and on top of all she'd banged her head against the stone floor at falling, loosing consciousness.
She'd been so bad off, that Nick had gotten so frightened he'd called an ambulance.
He'd told them she'd fallen down the stairs, counting on her complete submission, and she would have obeyed like always, if it hadn't been for that woman, Kate, sitting beside her bed.
Telling her to give another example to her sisters.
Telling her there was a way out.
Telling her she would help.
Telling her she was worth much better.
Telling her of all the REAL help there was out there, instead of some fictious "you need to be strong" crap she'd heard so far.
Telling her that good girls tell on their abusers.
And she had.
Two weeks ago, Nick had gone to prison. She'd felt a relief she'd never thought possible. One year, an entire year, to get her finances and her life and her soul in order.
Thes she would deal with him again, but maybe she could be stronger now?
One week ago, she'd met Horatio Caine for the first time. Somehow, the man made her feel safe and secure. How was that possible? She was sure he was not rouge and would prove it to the feds. What she'd rather die than letting him know, though, was her past. She was so ashamed. Her support group was working on that as well. But Natalia wasn't ready to tell anyone about Nick, not yet anyway.
DING!
One second ago, the elevator opened, and a beautiful blond and a very handsome dark guy exited.
Natalia put on what she hoped was a sure and confident face and walked straight towards them, towards whatever the future held.
