Hey guys. Here's another strange chapter from the strange me. I'm done with mid-terms! And this took me six hours to do. Cool. Enjoy though.
I do not own Ouran.
G is for Goodbye
Kaoru's POV
I remembered the first time Hikaru and I were ever pulled apart, and all I remembered besides that, is that it was the worst day of my life. I remembered it like it we were just reunited a minute ago, I remembered it like it was just yesterday. I even remembered what I was thinking when I saw my older twin again and was able to wrap him in my arms again. It was the best feeling ever. The moment I took him in my arms and cried for what seemed like eternity. It was like falling in love with him all over again. But the feeling of being pulled apart, was a feeling I never wanted to feel ever again. Being ripped away from him was an experience that I never wanted to experience in the first place and never wanted to go through ever again.
We were fourteen the first time our parents tried to pull us apart and it was a little while after Tamaki asked us to consider being part of the Host Club. Since it was obvious that it didn't work that time our parents decided that it was time for us to stop being so connected to each other once and for all. Obviously we knew that they were going to try to separate us for a while to get us used to not being around each other all of the time. I tried to prepare myself for being taken away from Hikaru, but I always knew that I wouldn't be able to handle not seeing him for a long amount of time.
That summer is when our worst nightmare was put into reality for the second time. The summer before our second year. Most of it seemed like a bad dream until I was physically dragged into a room on the opposite side of the house so Hikaru couldn't get to me. All of it seemed like a blur at first. I remembered that Hikaru started fighting with our father before he grabbed me, telling Hikaru that we were living our lives inappropriately and that us being together all the time was wrong and it disturbed him. Hikaru grabbed me and pulled me back, hiding me behind him. That was when I woke up from what seemed like a nightmare and realized that it wasn't. It was happening right in front of me. I wrapped my arms around his waist making sure he wouldn't try to hurt anyone. In the end I was dragged out of our bedroom and I could hear Hikaru yelling and crying behind the door as our father locked him in. I heard Hikaru trying to turn the knob but failing miserably. I felt sick, lightheaded, and I wanted nothing more than for this to all go away the next day. I wanted to say something but the words were caught in my throat. It didn't have to be that way. They didn't have to do it like this, it could have been talked out. This wasn't the way to do this.
I was pushed into another room and I heard the lock turn meaning I was locked in as well. I didn't want to know how this was going to end. I already knew that it wasn't going to end well. I fell to my knees in the middle of the floor, realizing that almost everything I feared had actually happened in a few minutes. I crawled to the wall with my back against the door and curled myself up in a ball with my head between my knees and cried. All kinds of questions roamed my mind. The main one being, "how long are we going to stay like this?". I wanted to know if Hikaru was okay, if he was crying as much as I was. I stayed there for what seemed like forever in that case. I knew it was getting late and I was afraid to sleep and I knew that even if I wasn't I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway.
Finally, after a while more, I stood up grasping the doorknob for support. I tried to turn it only to find that I was still locked in. I felt my eyes water and let fresh tears fall down my face as I tried to hold in my sobs. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to make myself seem weak even though no one was watching me. We were reunited after a few days last time, so I was hoping that it was the same this time and not any longer. But I knew that since it didn't work the last time it would be different. I threw myself onto the bed, up at the ceiling and gasped almost too loudly. What if they found out about Hikaru and I being lovers? The thought filled my mind with different images of what would happen if that was to come true. Our parents didn't know about anything we had been doing. Only the club knew that we had romantic feelings for each other. I lied down and tried to stifle my sobs with the pillow but it seemed useless. I thought that it was the end for me. I knew it was the end but I also felt like this could be okay.
The next morning I woke up with an excruciating headache and I felt like I was going to be sick. I felt the sun beaming in my eyes and I pulled the covers up over my eyes to hide the sunlight. I sighed, knowing that it was best if I got out of bed and did something, whatever to make time pass. Even though I didn't want to and felt like I couldn't I got out from underneath the covers and noticed a box that was at the door that wasn't there the night before. I stayed lied down and stare at it for a second then got out of bed. I suddenly got my hopes up and rushed to the door and tried to turn the knob. It didn't turn. I sighed sadly before kneeling down and opening the small box and noticed enough clothes to last me about three days. Three more days? Including today? It seemed so near but yet so far away.
I took all the clothes out of the box until I noticed one of Hikaru's favorite shirts. I smiled, happily taking it out of the box and hugging it to my chest. I thought that it still smelled like him too, and it brought tears to my eyes. I wondered if he was okay, heck I was always wondering if he was okay. I looked down at the box and tilted my head to the side in confusion, seeing something I didn't expect to be stuffed in the bottom of the box. I placed the shirt on my lap and reached inside the box and took out a white folded piece of paper. I stood up, taking the shirt and piece of paper back to the bed.
I decided to quickly change first, scared of what the paper said and wanting to get all memories of the day before off. I slipped on Hikaru's shirt and a different pair of jeans and raced to get back to the bed and sighed. I opened the paper to identify the writing as Hikaru's. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Was he okay? Did he sneak in the letter? I read it slowly and silently to myself.
Dear Kaoru,
I'm so sorry it's come to this. I'm so sorry that you're alone. I wish I could be there with you and hold you. This isn't fair, they should have at least tried to compromise with us. I put the box together for you and if you're reading this then I guess you found it. I hope that this letter comforts you since I can't be there in person. I swear every minute I'm trying to find some way to get to you. I will not fail. They can't keep us apart for long. As you saw in the box, they're planning to keep us away from each other for three days. At least that's what our so called "parents" told me. Its Thursday now Kao, so we'll be allowed to see each other Saturday night because today counts. I thought you should know. I thought that this would ease your mind and let you know that I'm thinking of you. I cried for you all night Kaoru. I miss you and I'm worried even though I know you're in the same house that I am. I just don't know where you are. I can't believe that they're doing this again. I love you to death. I want you to remember that Kao. I'm sorry that it's hard for me to speak this aloud every day without blushing and acting strange. I'm just afraid that you'd think it's weird. But I do. I do love you, and I will until the day I die. I feel like my heart is breaking more every minute that I don't know where you are. Remember what we told each other the day we confessed our love Kaoru? Till death do us part. I love you.
Love, Hikaru
Till death do us part. Of course I remembered, how could I not remember the best night of my life? I smiled, letting more tears roll down my face. I cried so much in twenty four hours that I was beginning to think that I was running out of tears. And why was he sorry? What happened wasn't his fault. I wanted him to be in the room with me and I wanted to feel his arms around me and feel his lips against mine. But I knew that wouldn't happen for a while.
The rest of the day was just me sleeping trying to make time pass as fast as I could and maids coming in with food when I was awake. They were surprised to find me smiling even the slightest bit. It was only because of Hikaru's letter. He said that he'd find a way to get to me. He always finds me, no matter where I am. The question was how and when? I just decided to keep my hopes up and maybe he'd find me.
The day seemed to go by a little faster than I originally thought it would. I smiled when I looked at the clock beside my bed and saw that it said 1:00 o'clock in the morning because it meant that it was the start to another day was an hour ago. I didn't really change into pajamas, I just changed into sweatpants and kept on Hikaru's shirt. I felt that it calmed me when I thought I was about to fall into a deep depression again. I lied down and noticed how tired I was even though I didn't do anything. I guessed that I was so tire of thinking. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before quickly falling into a deep sleep.
"Kao, Kaoru," I opened my eyes and gasped, instantly sitting up and catching my breath before speaking.
"Hikaru?" I couldn't see anything, it was too dark in the room and I was scared. Was it just a dream or was it real.
"I'm here," Hikaru climbed on the bed and sat next to me so I could see him in the moonlight coming from the window.
"Hikaru!" I cried and threw my arms around him not caring that I may have said that too loud.
"Shh, I told you I wouldn't fail," Hikaru whispered holding me tighter until I almost couldn't breathe, but I didn't care. He was there with me, and I was in his arms once again, where I belonged.
"Wait how'd you get here?" I pulled away from him and asked, still in shock.
"I kinda picked the lock in our room last night, and I followed the maids here so I knew where you were, and picked the lock to get in here but it doesn't really matter now does it?" Hikaru told me surely proud of himself.
"It doesn't matter, all that matters is that you found me and we're together again right?" I asked tears forming in my eyes again. I couldn't believe that Hikaru was so determined to stay with me. I was truly happy for the first time in a while.
"Right," Hikaru looked like he was going to start crying too. His voice even cracked like he was holding in tears. He never cried, ever. I was always the one that cried when something good or bad happened. But I still didn't cry too much. Those last twenty-four hours were the most I've cried ever.
"Don't cry Hikaru, you'll make me cry too," I brushed away the tears starting to run down his face.
"But you're already crying," Hikaru laughed quietly as I wiped away my own tears, not even realizing that I was crying too.
"I don't care, it's a daily thing now," I rolled my eyes, and at least I was speaking the truth.
"It was for me too, I was so angry I couldn't hold it in, I wanted to just break down the door and find you," Hikaru said as I let him pull me into his lap. It was nice to feel so close to him again, especially after such a bad day.
"Hika," I sighed, surprised that I hadn't attacked him with kisses the moment I saw him. I figured that we needed time to make sure that this was real and we weren't having the same exact dream.
"Shhh, not too loud now or you'll wake someone," Hikaru whispered, pushing me down so I lied on my back with him on top of me. He propped himself up on one elbow and let his other hand rest on my chest, playing with the collar of the shirt.
"Right," I remembered, my voice turning into a whisper. I was tense while trying to lie down in a comfortable position, trying to make sure the bed didn't creak too much.
"Relax baby," Hikaru kissed my forehead lovingly. I smiled and held his hand over my heart.
"Sorry, I'm just scared," I confess quietly. I loosened up and tried to relax my body even though I couldn't help being a little tense.
"I know, it's okay, we'll be okay," Hikaru leaned in and gave me a light kiss on my lips. I giggled quietly and felt him kiss my forehead, my nose, both my cheeks and down to my lips again.
"I hope so, oh, I hope so, if it doesn't I'm as good as dead," I say mostly to myself not really knowing why I said that.
"Hey, no, no, don't say stuff like that," Hikaru told me firmly, taking my face in his hands. His expression changed from sweet and loving to scared and confused.
"I'm sorry Hikaru," I whisper sadly. I didn't really know if I meant what I said or not. It was true that if this ended badly, I felt like I would have been better off dead.
"Don't be, just don't scare me like that Kao," Hikaru brushed my bangs out of my face and lightly caresses my face with his fingers.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I just can't keep my feelings to myself anymore," I told him slowly, hiding my eyes form him.
"I know, I know, it's okay," Hikaru comforted me. This time he kissed me harder and for a moment I thought that my lips would bruise but the more his lips moved with mine the better it got.
"I love you Hikaru," I said breathlessly after parting with him. Hikaru's cheeks were red and I was one hundred percent sure mine were too.
"I love you too Kaoru, I love you so much," Hikaru told me lovingly while lying next to me and playing with my fingers.
"Can we do this every night until we are allowed to be together again?" I asked shyly hoping for him to say yes.
"Of course we can, I'll tell you what," Hikaru paused for a moment to think.
"Tell me what?" I urged him, wanting to know what plan he was coming up with.
"Sleep as much as you can during the day, and I'll come to you at one o'clock every morning," Hikaru explained to me with a smile on his face.
"What time do you have to leave?" I asked upset that he would have to leave me at some point.
"Five forty-five, I think, it's before the maids get up," Hikaru told me sadly, his smile disappeared.
"We only have about four and a half hours together?" I asked quietly as I felt my heart break in to pieces.
"It's better than no time at all," Hikaru tried to bring up my spirit.
"I know…but it's not fair," I didn't want to sound needy but I didn't like being taken away from him.
"I know it's not fair, but it's only for a few more nights, then everything goes back to normal," Hikaru pointed out.
"I can sleep in your arms again," I smiled at the thought. My eyelids were getting heavy and I was starting to feel really tired. I pulled myself into Hikaru's arms and closed my eyes for a minute.
"Are you sleepy?" Hikaru asked as he cradled me in his arms. I nodded slowly.
"But I don't want to sleep," I protested by opening my eyes again.
"If you do, you can fall asleep in my arms," Hikaru reminded me happily.
"But then you'll fall asleep and we'll get caught," I warned him in a serious tone.
"You can at least start to go to sleep, come on," Hikaru pulls the covers over us and holds me protectively.
"What if you fall asleep?" I ask slowly closing my eyes and starting to let sleep take over me.
"Then I fall asleep," Hikaru shrugged it off.
"But they'll find out Hika," I said sleepily.
"So what if they find out, they can't take you away from me," Hikaru whispered. He sounded angry and his grip on me tightened and I cuddled closer to him.
"I'll never let myself be taken away from you," I grabbed at his shirt, trying to tighten my grip around him.
"Good, because you're mine," Hikaru growled making me laugh, knowing he would get protective during the most random times.
"I'm yours, I promise" I poked his chest, then let my hand stay there.
"Give me your hand," Hikaru placed his hand out to take mine as if he needed permission to touch me.
"Why?" I opened my eyes again and let him take my hand in his.
"No reason, your hands are just so dainty," Hikaru teased me, kissing my hand and squeezing it.
"You're mean," I whined.
"But they are, and your hands fit in my hands perfectly," Hikaru started his romantic that he knew I loved.
"I know," I said in a light sigh, trying not to close my eyes again.
"You're so tired Kao, I don't want to keep you up," Hikaru wanted me to sleep but he continued kissing my hand. He knew I liked it, it made me remember that he's there with me.
"But I want you to stay," I complained.
"It's almost time Kaoru," Hikaru sadly realized that it was almost time for him to go anyway.
"Is it?" I closed my eyes slowly wanting so badly to stay awake but my body was not letting me.
"I'm afraid it is love, the sun will start to rise soon," Hikaru started to sit up but I opened my eyes and grabbed his arm before he could.
"Do you have to go? It's not morning yet," I held my breath hoping he would say that he would stay.
"I want to stay more than anything but if I do I'll get caught," Hikaru moved and got up off the bed.
"So you have to go," I sighed and felt a stab in my heart. Hikaru kneeled down at the edge of the bed face to face with me while I comfortably lied down.
"Hey, I love you," Hikaru caressed my face lovingly.
"I love you too," I smile. Hikaru leaned in to kiss me one last time. It really was like he was kissing me for the last time. I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, letting our tongues lock with each other. I felt like I was running out of air but I continued to kiss him for a long time that seemed perfect to me.
I felt Hikaru part with me and look behind me with a worried look on his face. I turned around to see what he was staring at to notice that the sun was starting to show and if he didn't leave soon, we'd be dead.
"I'll see you later tonight," Hikaru reminds me, rubbing my arm.
"I feel like it's thousands of years until then," I turn around to face him and whisper gently.
"But remember how we'll feel when those thousand years pass," Hikaru smiled, caressing my face, showing his loving side that only I know.
"You should go," I whisper sadly as Hikaru takes my hand and kisses it and sighs.
"I love you," Hikaru kisses me quickly.
"I know, I love you too," I say before Hikaru sighs again and hesitantly lets go of my hand and rushes to the door. I see him look back at me with a sad look on his face before leaving and locking my door.
I turned around to see how much the sun had rose. It was beautiful, the sun. The way it rose and its shining light broke the cold darkness of the night. It was just like Hikaru. The way he could take me away from my sad, cold, depressed state and made me feel happy again.
Wow! That literally took me so long to do. I hope this turned out okay. Please review!
