A/N not mine, I own nothing.
A Price to be Paid
Almost a week after meeting Aubrey and Jason, Stephanie was checking the mail. She found a letter addressed to her with the Haywood return address. Inside she found two letters, the first one was from Tank.
Dear Steph,
Ranger asked me to forward this letter to you. I told him that I would. I did not tell him where you are. I am asking you to take a moment and read it. Please. No matter what you decide to do, remember that I am your friend.
Love,
Your brother, Tank
She sat down hard on the sofa. Can she do this? Can her heart take another hit? She takes a deep breath and decides to risk it. There isn't much that he can say to her in this letter that she doesn't already know.
Dear Stephanie,
I want you to know that I am sorry. There are so many things that I need to apologize for, including not telling you about Aubrey.
I met her when we were in high school in Miami. We were friends. When I opened Rangeman Atlanta, I ran into her again, and we began dating. Our relationship was like yours with Morelli. She hated my job, and she hated when I left for missions. We fought over them constantly. Recently we both came to the conclusion that it wasn't right for either of us. She also realized I loved someone else, you.
I want you to know that the night we were together was the best night of my life, and like you and Joe, we were in an off phase. Any time I kissed you or held you close, we weren't together. Physically you weren't the other woman, but emotionally, my heart always has, and always will belong to you.
I would like to get our friendship back on track. I would also like to have a relationship with you, but only if you choose to. You don't have to tell me where you are. I will abide by your wishes and leave you alone. When you are ready you may call me night or day, and I will drop everything to talk with you.
This last mission I was on fulfilled my contract with the government, and I have decided not to resign it. There are younger men and women who can do this job as well as I did, if not better. I won't chance going back, and my reflexes are begining to slow. I would get myself, or a member of my team killed.
I want you to know, whatever you decide, I will follow through with your wishes. I won't push towards what I want, you need to follow your heart. I only want you to be happy.
Please take your time and know that I will be waiting for you.
Love,
Carlos.
She sat there and the tears were falling down her cheeks. She knew in her heart that she loved him, but she needed to get her head on straight. She would wait a little before she called him. She at least needed his friendship, she didn't know if they would ever be anything more. His letter brought so much to the surface.
Ranger was at his desk in Trenton when Lester knocked on his door and came in.
"You don't even know how much it is taking me to keep from hitting you right now. I promised Beautiful that I wouldn't retaliate. That is the only thing that is keeping me from handing you your ass. She didn't want to tell us anything at all, but Tank insisted. I wish she hadn't, because I hate knowing that you hurt her that way. I hate knowing that you made her feel like the one thing she always swore she would never be. We use to talk all the time, and she told me how much she always prided herself on how she could always say the one thing she had never been called by her Mother was a whore like Joyce. She always told me how your life may not lend itself to relationships, but at least your moral code was a good one. She held you in such a high position, only to find out that you are not any better than her ex husband. I thought you were a better person than that." Lester turned and stalked away.
Ranger sat there in stunned silence. How was he supposed to answer that? He couldn't. He looked up at his computer just as an email came through. The familiar address had him tense for a moment. He took a deep breath and opened it.
Ranger,
I received your letter today. Please, try to understand, that right now I need space. I don't know when, but we will talk. I need to let go of some of the hurt before we can do that.
Our friendship is something I have always valued. I don't want to lose that, as for anything more than that I'm not sure. I never hid my relationship with Joe from you, or anyone else, but you felt it was important to hide Aubrey from me. I hope that someday we can get our friendship back on track.
I originally left because I was tired of feeling like I wasn't good enough for anyone. I needed to grow up, and let myself be me. I haven't liked what I've found out about myself. I was exactly what everyone was saying, but the worst part was that I was made to feel like something I always swore I would never be.
I am back in school now, and once I graduate I plan on trying to find a job as a profiler. I want to stand on my own for once. I need to stand on my own. I will never be able to repay you for all the help you have given to me over the years, and certainly not all the help Tank has given me over the last few weeks. As much as I would rather not have anyone's approval, I still crave yours. I can only hope that I am making you proud by standing on my own.
I love you, and don't think that will ever change. I do, however, think some time apart will be good for both of us. I will call as soon as I am ready to talk in person. I hope that once I do you will come here and we can talk face to face. I have no plans on returning to Trenton to live. That may change, I just don't know when.
Love,
Stephanie
She loves him! Thank God, there is hope! He will wait for her as long as she needs. He began to write his reply.
A/N Thank you Maggie!
