A/N: I would like to point out that I typed this late at night, when I was tired but unwilling to go to bed. So I apologize for any grammar errors or where things seem perplexing.
The week leading up to Halloween was by far the most interesting week Crowe had ever experienced, no thanks to her husband to be. Beetlejuice was as good as his word, and helped her get revenge on Clarissa. Each day was some different form of humiliation.
On Tuesday, they had science class, and were dissecting frogs. Crowe had tried like her mom had once, and said it was against her religion. She really didn't want to hurt the frog.
"It's already dead Babes."
"But you can be hurt Beej, how do you know this poor little frog can't be hurt too? How do you know I'm not causing it pain when I cut it open with the scalpel?"
"You want me to do it?" "No! You'll hurt it on purpose! I can do it. I'll be nice." For a moment, Beetlejuice watched in amusement as she gently cut the frog open, taking care not to hurt it. She really did care about animals, whether they were dead or alive. As she told him, "dead animals need love just like alive ones. I mean, I take care of you when you're a dog or snake right?" And she did, which is what he liked about her. After the brief moment he allowed himself to be sentimental and mushy, Beej reanimated the frogs and set them after Clarissa. And, seeing Crowe's tearful face when her zombie frog hopped pathetically, unable to move due to being cut open, he healed it. She all but cuddled the frog, naming it Frankie, after Frankenstien's monster. So when it was time to stop the zombie frogs, he left hers alive, for lack of a better word. "Thanks Beej," Crowe kissed him on the cheek.
Beetlejuice rolled his eyes, and said it was nothing. Normally, he would have gotten really creative, and maybe switched the places between the frogs and the class, had the frogs dissect the students instead. But seeing Crowe's face, he couldn't do it. He wasn't usually this nice a guy, but these Deetz chicks just tugged on his withered old heartstrings. Made it hard to say no.
On Wednesday, there was gym class. And they were playing dodge ball. Dodge ball became Crowe's favorite sport after Beetlejuice juiced the balls to chase Clarissa, pelting her in the head and back, then knocking her to the ground and hitting her incessantly until the bell rang. Even then, a few bold ones still rolled after her in the halls.
Thursday was Crowe's second favorite. Beetlejuice juiced Clarissa's lunch from where he rested on Crowe's wrist, nibbling from the dish of dead bugs she'd packed for him in with her lunch. She'd decided to pack her own lunch in her black and purple Skelanimals metal lunchbox. And, so she actually got to enjoy her lunch, she let him catch his own lunch and bring it along. So long as he didn't get caught. Anyway, he attacked her lunch. Her fancy purified filtrated water became slimy sewer water, green with stuff floating in it. Her salad crawled with bugs and worms, and her healthy fruit granola bar thing turned rotten. She screeched after the first few bites, and Crowe and Beej shared a smirk.
Friday was by far her favorite. As it was Halloween, and the veil between worlds was thinner, it seemed to Crowe that Beetlejuice's powers had some extra oomph. He filled Clarissa's locker with giant spiders, spilled mutant rats from her desk, and had her school books temporarily haunted. They screamed and moaned every time they opened. And when she went to the bathroom to touch up her ever flawless makeup, she ran screaming out moments later, her makeup bag filled with snakes. They weren't poisonous, but Clarissa didn't know that. And Beetlejuice assured Crowe that all of the animals weren't real, just really good magic, so she didn't have to worry about them. Frankie was still…alive and hopping, and eating flies. He couldn't see very well, but Beej was willing to give him a few flies and beetles, if only so Crowe wouldn't smack him. The undead amphibian relaxed happily in a large tank Crowe had cleaned out and arranged with frog taste in mind. She convinced herself Axl and Frankie were friends, though Beej never saw them even glance at each other.
Now, some might say all that Crowe let Beetlejuice due was on the harsh side. And some might be right. Crowe didn't care about their opinion, she felt it was justified. And Friday, after all was said and done, Crowe went home feeling intensely satisfied to put the finishing touches on her costume.
Her dad's car was in the driveway when she and Beetlejuice walked up. She had almost forgotten he would be getting home on Halloween. "Daddy! You're home!" Crowe flew inside, throwing her arms around his neck, positively thrilled to see him.
Beej frowned, maybe a little jealous that her attention was no longer solely on him. True, he knew Crowe loved her dad more than anything, as he was all she had. But, he enjoyed being the center of her world for a week, and didn't want it to end. Just as Lydia was the only person he gave a damn about, besides himself, and she was the only person he'd ever met who cared about him, so too was Crowe getting like that. He was indifferent to Ollie, but enjoyed being with Crowe. And it was more than just getting married, getting to the honeymoon and the fun stuff, though that was a big bonus. She thought like him at times, and had a mean streak; something he found very attractive. But she was so goddamned gentle about some things, like animals. However, she seemed to enjoy his company, something only Lydia had ever done. It was like having his Lyds back, but different. There was only one Lydia, and she would always be his best friend, no one else could take her place. But he could make room for one more person.
Crowe sat across from her dad, who was surprised to hear her chattering away about her week. Beetlejuice noticed she carefully left out any mention of their war against Clarissa, and grinned deviously. "So you two are getting along then?" Ollie asked, sparing the ghost a glance. "Yea, surprisingly. We get along really well. He comes to school, as a little snake on my wrist, disguised as a bracelet. Same with coming to work," Crowe added. And to Beetlejuice's relief, she didn't mention the snake incident. She kept her promise. Which meant he had to as well. Oh well, he liked trick or treating, and she would sleep over tonight.
"So, umm, daddy, I know you just got home and everything, but I was wondering, see, Beej is coming trick or treating with me here tonight, and I promised I would go to the Neitherworld and trick or treat there, and sleep over at his place. Is that ok?" Crowe asked, chewing her bottom lip slightly. "Well, are you sure about this? I mean really sweetie?" "Yeah, sure, why not?" "Ok, then, are you all right with her sleeping over? It's not going to cause any problems?" Ollie asked Beetlejuice. "'Course I'm all right with her sleeping over. Why wouldn't I be?" Beetlejuice asked, actually confused about why it would cause a problem. "I have no idea. Maybe you have some sort of a life outside us," Ollie answered. "Hard to have a life when you're dead pops," Beej cracked. "Shut up Beej and leave my dad alone," Crowe ordered good-naturedly. She turned back to her dad, "So, can I? Or d'you maybe want me to stay here, or what?"
Ollie could see Crowe really did want to go to the Neitherworld, and it would only be for a couple days. If Crowe trusted him, then he could trust the ghost. "All right. You can go. And you, you behave yourself, I mean it. If I hear anything from her I don't like…" "Yeah yeah, I know. You'll go all paternal, and I'll be in trouble, there might be a shotgun wedding type of deal, things like that. I'm not stupid pops," Beetlejuice floated up into the air, hovering above them. "Thanks daddy, really. I'm going to go finish up my costume, ok. I'll see you in a bit before we go out. Coming Beej?" Crowe traipsed up the stairs to her room.
She looked critically at her costume on the dummy in the corner of her room. It was basically finished. She'd taken a black dress, cut up the edges so they looked rough and raggedy, and then sewn on patches and a few extra pockets for candy. It looked just like Sally's in the movie. On her bedside table were white tights on which she'd sewn thick black stitches so it looked like her legs had been sewn together and a pair of white fingerless gloves that matched and went up past her elbows. All she had to do was dye her hair red. But the dye just wasn't working.
"Need a hand Babes?" Beej asked, watching her failed attempts. "Can you help?" Crowe asked curiously. "Watch this," he aimed his finger at her like a gun, and she felt her scalp tingle. When she looked in the mirror, her hair was the perfect shade of red. "Oh this is just right! Thanks. Now, cover your eyes." "What?" "I'm changing. You can't look, duh," she poked him in the chest. "Why? Just because you say so? Doesn't seem like a good enough reason to me." "Well of course not. You're a perv." "Am not." "You are. You know it. So look away," Crowe shooed him away. "You're not gonna be totally naked are you? I think I should be allowed a peek. I'm gonna eventually, you know Babes." "Counting your chickens before they hatch Beej." "What chickens?" "I mean, you're being overly confident, thinking you're gonna someday get me in bed with you. How d'you know I'm not going to get a chastity belt?" "Because I'm the ghost with the most Babes. Just you watch." "Yeah, ok. In the meantime, away. I'm changing now."
Crowe made sure he was securely facing the corner, and wasn't about to turn around before struggling into the tights. "Damn it! Ow, god damn tights," Crowe muttered, and the tights tangled and she hit the ground hard. "Babes?" "Don't look! I'm fine," she hissed in pain, rubbing her knee. "Makes me glad I'm not a chick. Getting dressed sounds like such a pain in the ass. Don't know why you all just don't stay naked all the time rather than go through this," Beej fiddled with his tie in boredom. "To make your life miserable," Crowe suggested. "Oh is that it? Are you sure you're all right?" "I'll be fine. No worries," Crowe got to her feet and pulled up the tights. She then pulled the dress over her head and slipped it on. "You can look now," she told Beej. "Nice costume Babes. Good movie too," he looked her up and down. "Thanks. I just gotta do my makeup and put my gloves on, and grab a pillowcase for candy." She bustled into the bathroom to powder her face and use eyeliner to draw on stitches.
When she came out of the bathroom, Beetlejuice had changed his suit. It now looked like Jack Skellington's tuxedo, complete with bat bowtie, and darker circles around his eyes. "The only thing I won't do is go bald for ya Babes," he grinned. "You'd look terrible if you did. So what, we doing that cutsey his and hers matching costumes thing?" Crowe asked. "Unless you don't want to?" "No, no, it's cool. I like it. How do I look?" she twirled and her dress flared around her. "Good, really good." "Ok. Well, my dad's going to want to take pictures. Ready?" "As I'll ever be. Let's go Babes."
Beej took her arm and led her downstairs. "Aren't you cute Crowe!" Ollie snapped picture after picture of Crowe posing and smiling in her costume, with Beetlejuice glowering at her side. "C'mon, smile," Crowe urged. "Why should I?" "Just look happy to be here, please?" "Fine," he forced a smile on his face. "Did you help with her hair?" Ollie asked him. "Yeah, she wasn't doing so good on her own. She needed it. So can we go now? It's getting dark," he griped. "All right. But we're stopping back here so I can grab my clothes and stuff to sleep over, ok?" "Sure, sure. Let's just go before all the good candy is gone," Beetlejuice floated to the door. "Have fun, and be careful," Ollie called. "Yes daddy. See you in a while," Crowe took Beej's hand and followed him out.
"So where are we going Babes?" "Down the rabbit hole," Crowe laughed as she floated along beside him, held up by his powers. "Up the wall?" he caught on. "Completely insane," she added, spinning in wide circles next to him. "Mad as a March fucking hare," Beetlejuice suggested. "Out of our minds!" they crowed in unison, laughing until Crowe at least was breathless. "But seriously, where to? I have no idea where you trick or treat." "Ok, down here. No one I know comes here, and the houses give out major candy. So get us to the ground and we'll go," Crowe said, slinging her black and white pillowcase over her shoulder. He did as she bid him, and they looked up the street to the wide cul-de-sac at the end. "Which house first?" Beej asked, looking up the streets. "Start with this one," Crowe pointed to the large two story house on her right, "And around the cul-de-sac, and end down the street here." "And then the Neitherworld right? For the better candy?"
"What makes you say it's better?" Crowe asked, linking her arm through Beej's, and surprisingly allowing him to wrap his arm around her waist. "It just is. It's sweeter and just tastes better. Your mom loved it. For a while there all she ate was Neitherworld food." "Well, that's understandable I suppose, from the eye-scream. I could eat that for a good long time and not get sick of it for a while," she said. "Trust me Babes, the candy over here is nothing compared to the candy over there. It's the best you'll ever eat. Now, you wanna ring the bell, or shall I?" "I want to!" Crowe rushed forward, and jammed her finger into the buzzer. The door was opened, and she said the magic words which allowed for king size candy bars to be poured into her pillowcase.
By the time they had hit all the houses, Crowe's pillowcase was bulging with candy, and Beetlejuice had offered to carry it. Or at least lighten the load. They paused under a naked oak tree, and pawed through the candy, snatching up choice pieces and chowing down. "Thanks Beej, that's half gone already," Crowe tossed her bag over her shoulder once more, and they went back to her house. "Hey Daddy," she called. "Hi Crowe. Get anything good?" Ollie perused her bag, picking out some of his favorites. "Help yourself. Oh, could you feed Frankie and Axl for me?" "Frankie?" "My undead frog. Long story. Anyway, he's got a dish of dead flies by his tank. A few before bed, and in the morning." "Sure thing Crowe. Just remember, be careful in the Neitherworld," Ollie advised. "Always Dad," Crowe said, and went upstairs to her room to throw some clothes and things in a small duffel bag. "I'll watch out for her pops," Beetlejuice promised. "That's what worries me," Ollie murmured to himself.
"All set Babes?" Beej asked. "Yup yup. Got everything I could possibly need. Just have to say g'bye to Axl and Frankie," Crowe leaned over her pets' tanks. "Good bye Axl. Good bye Frankie. Daddy'll take care of you while I'm gone. Be good, and I'll see you in a few days. Now I'm totally ready." "Then say them magic B words, and I'll show ya how Halloween really is," Beej said eagerly. "Though I know I should be wary, still I venture some place scary. Ghostly hauntings I turn loose, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" Crowe cried, closing her eyes. When she opened them, she was in the Neitherworld, which was slowly becoming the best place ever to her. "I'll take care of the bags Babes," Beej took her bag, wound up, and flung it far into the distance. "It'll be there when we get there," he told her. "Now for some real trick or treating."
Crowe slipped her hand into Beetlejuice's and followed close. They were in a part of the Neitherworld she didn't know, having only been there once. Thus, she was rightly wary of its denizens. Of course, with her nearly pressed into his side, Beetlejuice picked up on her nervousness. "Scared Babes?" "No, no, what gave you that idea?" Crowe asked, her voice higher pitched than normal. "Uhh, maybe the fact you're practically glued to my side and breaking my hand?" he held up his hand with hers around it, and his fingers fell off. She hung her head. "Not scared. More like really wary about this place. It's…it's really dark and spooky, and not in a good way." Beej regarded her out of the corner of his eye. She reminded him of a younger Lyds, upon her first visits to the Neitherworld. She too had been nervous, for all her self- proclaimed Gothness and love of all things 'dark and spooky'. And she should be. He wouldn't want her out here by herself. So, he made sure he was always with her, to protect her. "Don't worry about it Babes. I'm here to protect you," he told her. "Oddly enough, I feel better about that," she relaxed her hold on his hand, but leaned more comfortably against him.
Beetlejuice sighed to himself. Wasn't it strange that mother and daughter felt completely at ease and safe with him, when he was probably one of the least safe ghosts around? But they never knew. And he liked it that way. Well, that wasn't entirely true. He had suspected Lyds had a sense he wasn't the nicest and that worried him even more, that she stuck around. Or maybe he was just being overly sensitive and paranoid. Either way, he would take care to ensure Crowe didn't find out that he was once the ghost with the most body counts.
Maybe he was going soft in his old age. Once upon a time, way back in…was it the Dark Ages? times around the Black Plague, he'd reveled in all the chaos and whatnot. Not so much in recent times. Some days he missed it, and others, when he remembered all the good times with Lyds, and all the good times that were sure to come with Crowe, he didn't mind so much giving it up. No one around really remembered him like that anyway. Too young, too new to the Neitherworld, or those who had borne witness to it had moved on elsewhere, whether by choice or by his own special brand of persuasion. Back in the old days, he had loved to display his handiwork, but those ones he had wanted gone quietly. Lyds had been his chance to start over sorta, and now here was Crowe, another second shot, which maybe he didn't deserve, but he certainly wasn't complaining, not with her nestled all warm by his side. These here now just thought of him as a trouble maker. Which was how he intended to keep it, if he wanted her to stay by his side. Besides, he liked his work, driving the inhabitants crazy. Wasn't as bloody and exciting as his old line of work, but it was entertaining.
Hours later, Crowe walked blindly down the crooked street, her head buried in her pillowcase, looking for more of those sour gummy worms filled with even more sour sticky goo. "Babes? You might wanna look where you're going," Beetlejuice grabbed her arm and steered her around a splintery telephone pole. "Hmm?" Crowe looked up, her chin smeared with red and green sour gooey filling. "Why? What'd I miss?" "Oh nothing, you just nearly walked into a pole and I saved your ass, that's all. And save some of those for me," he grabbed her bag and sifted through it. "Sorry Beej, that was the last of them," Crowe grinned sheepishly. He frowned, put out, then grinned wickedly. She looked puzzledly at him. Beej stuck out his finger, and ran it along her chin, catching all the goo. He licked his finger clean, watching her through lidded eyes, which if she didn't know better clearly proclaimed come hither. She gulped, and laughed nervously. "Want to go back to the Roadhouse now?" "M'kay Babes. Getting tired?" he teased her. "Are you kidding? I'm riding a sugar high. I feel like I just chugged twenty Red Bulls. But we got all the houses. And I want to go through and eat more candy. And get out of this costume and into my pajamas," she added as an afterthought. Both of which sounded really good to him. He really liked her taste in pajamas.
He took her hand and brought them straight to the Roadhouse. "You didn't decorate for Halloween BJ," Crowe observed. "I wasn't here enough to. I've been with you mostly." "You at least need a jack-o-lantern," she persisted. "But Halloween is over in a while," he complained. "Please Beej, c'mon, it'll be fun," she wheedled, and batted her eyes. "Oh all right. But it's not fair you using that against me," he griped. "Yay!" Crowe cheered, and danced along into his house, grabbing various knives from the kitchen. Beetlejuice conjured up the pumpkins, which were orange beasts, almost too big for the table. "Now, stand back and watch this," he rolled his sleeves up and took a couple of the knives in each hand. He became a blur of black and white, and gobbets of pumpkin guts flew through the air, hitting Crowe, the ceiling, the walls, and mostly sticking to Beetlejuice.
He stepped back a few minutes later, panting and dropping the knives with a loud metallic clatter. That had reminded him too much of the old days, and it had felt amazing. But he covered it up. Crowe gasped in awe, gaping at the carvings. One depicted himself, naturally. Another, herself, and it was a beautiful likeness. Another, bats before a full moon. Then spiders and webs. Lastly, snakes chased each other around the curves of the pumpkin. "They're…awesome. How'd you do that?" Crowe asked. Beej smirked at her from where he leaned against the counter. "Years of practice."
Together they carried the pumpkins out and set them around his front door decoratively. Beetlejuice set little candles in them, and the light chased back the thick shadows. When he looked up from the pumpkins, Crowe was gone, disappeared into the house. "Babes?" "Changing. Hang on a sec," her voice came from somewhere in the roadhouse. While he waited, he changed into his pajamas, stretching out on the couch. Crowe came out a bit later, in an oversized Boston Bruins hockey jersey, clutching her stuffed cow McMuffin by the hoof. "Could you change my hair back please? I'm done being a red head," she asked, looking at a strand of her hair. He waved his hand, and her hair faded back to black. "Thank you," she bounced onto the couch, sending Beej almost to the floor. The springs creaked as it settled, and puffs of dust rose into the air, hanging around Crowe's face like small industrial smog.
"Christ BJ, how old is this thing?" she asked, waving her hand in front of her face to disperse the smoke. "Uhh…lemme think, I got it in…was the 16 or 1700's?" he twirled a lock of his hair around his finger, thinking. "Sorry I asked," Crowe muttered. "Shall we just say it's older than me and be done with it? So you don't hurt your twisted little mind trying to think?" "Yeah...Hey! My mind may be twisted, but it's not little. See?" BJ flipped open the top of his head, and pulled out his brain. "Ew!...can I poke it?" she asked, and prodded it. It felt like cold mashed potatoes covered in old Jell-o. He plopped his brain back in his head smugly, having proved his point. Crowe wiped her hand on the couch, and pulled up her bag of Neitherworld candy. "Don't hog it," Beej tugged at the bag, shoving his hand in and grabbing a handful of cockroach clusters. "What's this one?" Crowe asked, holding up a brown spherical candy. "Just eat it Babes," Beej ate his candy, crunching obscenely.
Crowe grimaced, and bit into it. Green filling oozed sluggishly out in a rush of overwhelming sweetness. Her pupils dilated, and she choked. "Too sweet," she gulped it down quickly, and made a face. "You'll get used to it after a while," Beetlejuice fished for more candy. "But BJ, that was almost painfully sweet. I can practically feel my teeth rotting." "Really? Lucky." "Only you would find me lucky in this instance. Now give me back my candy," Crowe yanked on the pillowcase. "No way, you don't even like most of it," he jerked it away. "How do you know?" "I just do!" "It's mine! I rang the doorbell, I carried the bag, it's mine!"
With a wrenching, ripping sound, the bag split in two, candy flying violently through the air and bouncing off walls, the couch, and their heads. "You're fault!" they said in unison. "How is it my fault?" Beej asked, scandalized. "You were being a candy hog and being mean to me. I could go home you know. And I could tell Daddy about the snake incident," Crowe said threateningly. "Go ahead Babes. There's nothing he could do that wouldn't be as bad as being sent to Sandworm land." "Oh that's not fair," Crowe sighed, defeated. "What's not fair?" "It's just not as much fun tattling on you if you're ok with it. The whole point of the threat was to see you get in trouble," she explained. "Well, sorry to ruin your fun Babes, but like I said, there's nothing worse than sandworms. Nothing in this world, or any world. And you better hope you never get cornered by one, 'cause I can't protect you from'em." "Why?" Crowe asked, not liking the somber turn this conversation had taken. "I freeze up. Can't use my powers. I've tried, and I think once or twice it worked out, but, y'know, why take the chance?" "Are they really that bad?" "Yeah. imagine a giant purple snake thing, seems like yards and yards long, with a mouthful of fangs, and two sets of eyes, and a bigger appetite for anything that moves than me." Crowe gulped, and laughed shakily, "Are you sure you're not just trying to scare me Beej?" "Positive Babes. I don't joke around when it comes to Sandworms."
Crowe and Beetlejuice sat quietly for a few minutes, each thinking their own thoughts. The quiet stretched thinner and thinner, too thin for Beetlejuice at least. Crowe was used to silence, living in a bubble of it for the better part of eight years. He felt the need to fill the silence with anything, which is what got him into trouble half of the time. The other half was the usual scams and general mischief making that he always managed to weasel out of. Or else Lyds got him out of whatever he had gotten himself into. The question of course now was if Crowe would do the same.
"Hey Babes?" "Yeah BJ?" "If I got in trouble here, through…circumstances I will swear I had nothing to do with, would you help me out?" "What?" "If say…the Mayor was accusing me of putting a Gila monster down his pants…again, or I ruined Good Neighbor day…again, would you help me out so I didn't get sent to the Sandworms? They'd be more likely to believe you than me." "I guess…y'know, I could try. But, I don't talk really well in front of people, I doubt I'd be much good. Hell, they'd probably send you to the Sandworms faster after I've tried to defend you. Then where would I be? Stuck here with a bunch of Neitherworldians pissed off at me for trying to save you. Which isn't somewhere I want to be." "Oh it's not so bad after the fourth…or fifth time. And, as long as you try and help out. The most they'd do to you is give you a 'stern talking to' and send ban you from the Neitherworld while I'm sitting in the gullet of a Sandworm, deader than I am now. The mayor might be a loser, but he wouldn't kill you over something like this." "Oh that's comforting. What if I don't want to be banned from the Neitherworld? What if I show up anyway and hang out here or at the Bootique?" "Then you'd be getting into real trouble Babes. Almost the kind of trouble I get into," Beej grinned widely.
"Now there's something to strive for," Crowe said mockingly. "I'm sure when all the little ghosties and goblins are asked what they want to be when they grow up, or who their role model is, their answer is 'Beetlejuice'." "You'd be surprised Babes. The kids here love me." "I'll just bet they do. 'Cause you have the same mentality and maturity as them." "Do you have to cut me down at every turn?" "It's entertaining. I could just sit here silently you know. I would have no problem slipping back into not talking. Then we could just sit here staring awkwardly at each other." "Hmm…staring awkwardly in silence, or you insulting me every chance you get? Decisions, decisions," Beej said, feigning thinking about it. Growling, Crowe shouldered him off the couch. "Ouch! Again with the pushing me? Can't ya come up with anything original Babes?" "Nothing you wouldn't enjoy, and what's the point of coming up with an original punishment if you don't hate it? If I'm gonna do a spot of torment, I want it to count." "Vindictive. I like it," Beej pulled himself back on to the couch. "Of course you do. You're a little strange like that. But I'm sure you mean it as a compliment, so I'll take it as one. It's either that or I take offense and kick you where no guy, living or dead wants to be kicked."
BJ winced, not liking the sound of that, and thanked every deity he could think of that she hadn't taken offense. "You're a bitch sometimes, you know that?" "I do what I can," Crowe snickered. "Actually, I hadn't known that totally. Maybe you're just a bad influence on me." "It's my job to be a bad influence. I even have a license to drive people crazy," he said proudly. "Do you now," Crowe said, only mildly interested. "I do. Except, one time, it was revoked. I didn't finish school," he ducked his head sheepishly. "What grade did you have to go back to?" "…Kindergarten." Crowe burst into laughter, rolling onto her side until tears rolled down her cheeks. "Kindergarten? You're kidding right? You didn't have to go back to kindergarten." "I did. And I passed, thank you very much. I even looked the part too," Beej added. "Uh-huh," Crowe raised an eyebrow. Beetlejuice changed his clothes in the blink of an eye, to a pair of black and white striped shorts, a putrid green shirt, and a maroon jacket lined in black and white over it, and a black and white cap. Crowe bit her lip, trying not to giggle again. "Way to look like Angus Young BJ," she snorted. "We who are about to rock, salute you," he swept off his cap and bowed low.
"How come you know all this good music?" "For a lot of reasons. One, I like loud driving rock Babes. It's just my kind of music. Two, what else d'you think the dead do all day besides the living? I saw when those bands started, hell; I saw when the guys in the bands were born. And I listened, and stuck with what I liked, and ignored what I thought was trash. Which was a lot you know." "So what did…do you like?" Crowe drew her knees up to her chin, listening to him. "Let me think…well, obviously, AC/DC, Guns'n'Roses, Skid Row, Motley Crue, Ratt, stuff that was big in the 80's. You?" "Same basically, with some stuff from now, whatever really catches my interest." "Hey, Babes, we got something else in common now," Beej said excitedly. "Statistically it was bound to happen at least once or twice," Crowe shrugged, giving every appearance of indifference.
"Where we sleeping tonight anyway?" Crowe asked, stretching out and taking care that her shirt didn't ride up too high. "I got my bed back there," Beej jerked his thumb back towards a room off the living room. Crowe got up to investigate, and rolled her eyes at the coffin bed. It barely looked big enough for him. "Beetlejuice, there is no way I can sleep there." "Aw c'mon, what are you talkin' about? It's plenty big, if we get real close," he called. "Lech," Crowe snapped. "And no matter how close we got, it wouldn't be comfortable. So I'll just sleep on the couch. No worries," she said. "But Babes, it's a sleep over. The whole point it to sleep together, isn't it?" BJ said, his voice taking on a whining tone. "Well you're not fitting me into that little coffin of yours. You could come out here on the couch." "I got a better idea. C'mon," he reached out for her hand, and moved them upstairs, onto a wide, slightly tilted balcony. In the next instant, it was covered with every pillow and blanket he owned, which he cleaned and de-bugged just for her. Crowe gaped at it all, especially the view. The stars, which were typically obscured by all manner of light pollution around her house, shined with an almost blinding cold brilliance here. It was like she could reach out and grab a handful of them. And of course they were different constellations, but no less striking to look at.
"Woah. Nice view you got here BJ," Crowe tossed herself onto the thick layer of blankets and pillows. She cradled her head on her arms, letting the moon and starlight bathe over her. The whole Neitherworld seemed to stretch on forever, like it never stopped. "Beej?" "What now Babes?" Beej asked from where he lay next to her. "How big is the Neitherworld?" "It doesn't end Babes. Can't measure how big it is." "But it has to end. Every place ends," Crowe protested. Beetlejuice rolled over so he could see her. "Babes, this isn't 'every place'. This is the Neitherworld. Lotta dead come in all the time, and none of them wanna be 'living' all close to each other. Got to make room for them. So it just gets bigger as it needs to." He rolled back over, burrowing under the blankets while she puzzled that out.
"So, did you say that if the dead don't wanna go up or down, they can come here?" "Yup. But sometimes, it's not a choice. Sometimes, like in my case, you get sent here so you don't annoy the higher ups," he said sourly. "You got sent here?" "Yeah, 'cause after the whole Maitland thing, where I was supposed to get Lyds's family out of their home, they didn't want me bothering them anymore, so they sent me to the Neitherworld. And before that I was trapped in the Maitland's town model. Like I said, for some reason they found me annoying and saw fit to trap me there, and put the restrictions on my name." Crowe thought that over. He had certainly lead an interesting afterlife. She didn't quite know what to say to it all. So, she said the only thing she could think of that made sense.
"Good night Beetlejuice."
"Night Babes. See ya in the morning."
A/N: so ends chapter 7, on a sort of fluffy, hopefully not confusing point. Apologies if it was confusing. Like I said, it was late when this all happened. Could I still persuade you to rate/review? Please? There are chocolate chip 'thank you' cookies in it for you if you do^^
