Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight! But I do own a large packet of post it notes.
Thanks to Sam for Beta-ing this for me, and listening to me whinge!
Bella
At first I wasn't sure what had awoken me. It was still dark outside, and I couldn't hear any noises around me. I had a moment to consider how very quiet it was here compared to every other hotel I'd ever been to, maybe it was to do with the fact we were on the top floor in a penthouse suite. The moon had come out, and I could see the mountains very clearly in the moonlight through the tall windows at the end of the bed. The moonlight streamed in towards us, bathing the room in white.
Suddenly I heard it, a whimper coming from the bed beside me. I was used to sleeping in Edward's arms, but tonight we had pulled apart slightly as we had fallen asleep, still close to each other, but not touching. I rolled over towards him and realised he was bathed in sweat, his arm damp against mine. As I touched him he started, his whole body jerking in the bed.
I sat up and turned to look at him; beads of sweat had formed on his brow, and his face was taut and his mouth was pulled into a grimace.
It suddenly occurred to me that before Edward had been changed he had been unwell, he had the flu, he had a fever. Could he be succumbing to the same illness again eighty-seven years later? Panic hit me as I began to feel his forehead, this Edward could fall ill, this Edward could die.
I leapt out of the bed wondering where Edward's cell phone was, I had to speak to Carlisle. I started to pull his clothes out of his case, scattering them across the floor in a frenzy as I searched for the cell. I found the pants I had taken off of him earlier while he laid passed out on the bed and searched the pockets, to no avail. I was growling in frustration as I searched the floor…. But then I heard something else.
"Uhhhhh….." Edward's face twisted suddenly in the moonlight, a picture of terror. He jerked again, his whole body moving. "Oh No! Bella No….." His voice was deep as he cried out words I was sure I had heard him speak before, but the horror he was feeling was clear in them.
I stopped what I was doing and watched him, paying close attention to his expression as he jerked in the bed again. I was on my hands and knees on the floor from my frenzied search for his phone, and I crawled forwards as I watched him. Soon I was kneeling by his side, giving me a clear view of his troubled face. It slowly dawned on me that he was dreaming. I was trying to remember whether or not you should wake up someone when they were having a nightmare when he began to thrash madly in the bed and cried out again.
"Oh god no, OHHHhhhhhhh…." Edward cried out an agonized howl as I decided that I was waking him up, whatever.
"Edward. Edward! Wake up!" I'd pulled myself up so I was sitting on the bed beside him; I grasped his shoulder and shook him slightly as I spoke in a harsh whisper. I didn't think it would help him being woken too violently from what was obviously a very disturbing dream.
"No!" His whole body jerked away from my touch as he began to thrash his head from side to side.
"Edward!" I almost shouted at him as I shook him more forcefully, not able to allow him to suffer the nightmare any longer. "Baby please wake up."
Suddenly his eyes snapped open and looked around wildly for a second before catching my eyes in the moonlight. "Bella!" His voice was filled with relief as he grabbed hold of me, and pulled me tightly to his chest in an almost suffocating embrace.
I shifted in his arms so I could hold him against me as I whispered soothing nothings into his ear. His breathing was ragged against me, and he continued to tremble for several minutes after he woke up, running his hands up and down my sides as if he was making sure I was still there with him.
Gradually he stopped moving and his breathing evened out as he fell asleep again in my arms. I wondered if he'd ever really woken up properly.
I lay on the bed encircled tightly in Edward's arms looking out of the window at the mountains, trying to calm myself down. My own heart had taken as long as Edward's to quieten from my own panic about his health, and now I found myself wide awake while he snored very gently in my ear.
I had never really worried about Edward before - maybe once when he was hunting James, but even then he had been a vampire. Virtual indestructibility had always been a given with him, ever since the day he had stopped Tyler's van from hitting me in the car park at school. Suddenly fearing for him in a mortal way tonight had left me feeling…… afraid. Loving someone quite as much as I loved Edward left you very vulnerable, and I suddenly felt a new understanding for his over protectiveness towards me. How terrifying it must be for him, the fact that my life could so easily be extinguished by any number of human frailties. Maybe just as terrifying as that thought was for me now about him.
I wrapped my leg around his hip, adding to my arms already tight around his neck, needing to hold him to me as tightly as physically possible for a few moments. "I love you Edward. I love you so much." I couldn't help myself, I knew he was so asleep he couldn't hear me, but I just had to tell him again how much I loved him. My chest ached with feelings for him, and the few seconds of terror I had suffered thinking he was ill had upset me terribly.
I began to run my fingers through his hair, soothing myself rather than him. Eventually I fell asleep, listening to my new favourite sound – Edward snoring.
Edward
I was running through the forest. Someone was following me just outside of my line of vision, but I knew who it was; what it was. I ran even though I knew it was pointless, I could not escape. I suddenly felt myself flying as I was knocked off my feet….
I jerked awake as I heard Bella whispering into my ear.
"Edward, baby, it's ok, you're having another nightmare." She was tightly wrapped around me, running her hands through my hair trying to comfort me as I trembled in her arms. She carried on whispering as I tried to control my breathing and calm down a little, then I realised what she had said.
"Another nightmare?" This was the first time I remembered waking tonight.
"Yes, a couple of hours ago you were the same." She was stroking one side of my face now in a strangely calming motion; her face was pressed tightly against my other cheek, our embrace allowing little room between us.
"Sorry….."
"Shh, don't be silly. Try and go back to sleep, we'll talk about it in the morning." I could hear from her voice that she was almost asleep again already, so I simply nodded. A few moments later I felt her breathing steady into the familiar soft rhythm I was so used to as she slept.
It took me longer to get back to sleep this time, my mind full of horrors. As I closed my eyes, I was assaulted by memories of nightmares, at the same time as real memories just as horrific, leaving me almost afraid to sleep again. I pulled Bella even tighter to me, hoping that her presence might ward off the worst nightmares as I drifted again.
The next time I woke was more gradual, my first sensation that of extreme warmth, and a scent that was all Bella surrounding me. Early morning sunlight was streaming through the windows, bathing the room in soft clean light. I realised that we were both moving slightly in our sleep, and in a few seconds between asleep and awake I enjoyed our soft movements, moaning slightly as I stirred. Suddenly I opened my eyes in surprise when I realised what we were doing.
During the night I had rolled onto my back, pulling Bella with me. She was asleep on top of me, her legs astride my hips, and I realised that if not for her pajama bottoms there was a very good chance that we could have lost our virginity in our sleep this morning. I had popped out of the front of my boxers, and the tip of my very enthused erection was pushed hard against her thinly clad inner thigh. Both of us were moving gently against each other, my hands were resting on her butt, hers had reached down and were resting on my waist, just under the waist band of my boxers.
I struggled to make myself stop moving, at once disgusted that I had been virtually assaulting her in her sleep, until I realised that she was still moving against me. I closed my eyes and willed myself into submission, but was still unable to completely stop grinding against her slightly as she continued to rock her hips in a slow sensuous rhythm.
After several agonizing seconds I rolled her gently off onto the bed beside me, not wanting to break our connection, but at the same time shocked at myself. Bella stirred slightly as I moved her, but then with a tiny sigh snuggled into my side and went back to sleep.
Now fully awake, and sporting award worthy morning wood, I took the opportunity to watch Bella in the early morning light. I noted with concern the circles under her eyes, and wondered how restless a night I had had. Her hair was wild, again often a sign that she had slept poorly, and as I looked around us I realised that the sheets were almost tied in knots at my feet.
As I tried to remember what had happened during the night I felt Bella stir beside me. "Morning baby." Her voice was still thick with sleep as she rolled over so we were facing each other side by side, and before I could stop her she hooked her leg back over my hip.
"Baby?" I wrapped my arms around her again with pleasure, while at the same time catching her eye and willing her not to look downwards as I pulled the sheets over us to hide my current predicament. Mental note: do not wear anything to bed with a gap at the front.
"Yeah, I'm trying it out…..You ok?" She still sounded half asleep, and I worried again about how much I had disturbed her in the night.
"Go back to sleep Bella, we don't have to get up yet."
As I said this she seemed to wake up a little more, and her sleepy eyes finally cleared and looked at me more observantly. "Really, are you alright? You've had a really rough night."
I frowned slightly, trying to remember but only getting vague images of waking once in the night. "I have?"
At this she seemed to get more concerned and pulled herself up slightly so our eyes were completely level. "You've been having nightmares all night Edward, don't you remember?"
"No, not really."
"I'm not even sure myself, but you woke at least 3 or 4 times in the night,"
"Are you sure?" As she spoke a feeling of unease was starting to creep over me, and I suddenly realised I didn't want to remember anything from the night before.
"You were thrashing in the bed Edward, crying out. The first time I was so scared. I thought you were ill." Her face suddenly collapsed into such a anxious expression that I couldn't help but gather her up in my arms again, sorry that I had made her feel so upset.
"I'm sorry Bella, I don't remember….." But I did. I was starting to get flashes in my mind, and I suddenly flinched when I recalled one particularly vivid picture from the night before.
"What is it?"
"James."
"What?" She jumped at the mention of his name, and I saw uncertainty cross her features.
"I remember dreaming of the ballet studio."
"Oh… Well I've done that too. It's only normal after something traumatic like that."
As she spoke more memories started to come and I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. "Yes it is, but I've lived several lifetimes of nightmares, my subconscious has a lot of material to work from." I closed my eyes and tipped my head back for a moment, trying to dismiss the images which were now flooding my mind. "Ever since I met you, I have wished I could sleep by your side, but now I realise that maybe it could be less a blessing than a curse."
"Oh. Oh no, Edward. What are we going to do?"
"What?" I suddenly felt quite alarmed by the concern in her eyes.
"I have to go home tonight; Charlie won't buy me sleeping with Alice again. Plus I have to go to work tomorrow. I guess you're still not up to going home?"
Before I really registered what she was saying my inner teenager (or is that my outer teenager these days) froze at the mental image Bella had just given me of her sleeping with Alice. I felt my face go slack as she looked on with a puzzled look on her face.
"What?" She frowned at me slightly, clearly not expecting my mind to live so close to the gutter these days.
"Nothing." I said quickly. At the same time my heart sank as I finally realised what she had been saying. Last night I had her to cling to during my nightmares, but if I was crying out in my sleep I had zero chance of creeping into her room without Charlie knowing about it. Which left me sleeping alone tonight, as there was no way I could even begin to think about sleeping at home yet.
I realised that I hadn't answered her question, "No. I don't know if it would be a good idea anyway. Jasper struggles…. To have a human in the house all the time would probably be a lot to ask of him….." And of me. I wasn't sure how well I would cope with listening to his internal battle - with me as the subject.
We both lay quietly in the bed for a few minutes, trying to work out what to do next. In a way I had almost expected to wake up this morning a vampire again, so hadn't really considered what to do about living arrangements long term yet.
"You could buy yourself somewhere; you keep telling me that property is a good investment." Bella broke the silence, airing what could be my only option now I was effectively homeless. "I'll be eighteen in a couple of weeks, an adult, so Charlie wouldn't really be able to stop me from spending time there with you…."
I groaned and threw my head back against the pillows several times, as Bella watched on in surprise. "I'm not eighteen officially until June. I don't think I can go and live alone, the state considers me a minor!" I banged my head back a couple more times in frustration.
"But you said you were seventeen in March, you've had a birthday since then…"
"You asked me how old I was, and I told you the truth, I've been seventeen for eighty-seven years Bella. But I'm in the same school year as you, with a June birthday. According to my driver's license and everything else we have setup here at the moment I actually turned seventeen in June. So if I want to keep the identity I have right here, right now, I won't turn eighteen until next year. Which is about right actually….." I had awoken as a vampire in September in 1918, so becoming human again now at the end of August, while legally seventeen, meant my physical age was almost exactly what it currently said on my driver's license.
"So now you're 9 months younger than me?" Bella sounded indignant, I broke out of my thoughts to find her glaring at me in annoyance.
"Well, yeah, I guess I am." I couldn't help but chuckle as she huffed at me, shuffling around in her irritation.
"Great, I'm a cradle snatcher!"
"Are you going to corrupt me?" I immediately regretted my teasing of her when she lowered her lashes and smouldered at me in a way that made my whole body tense.
"I will if you want me to…"
"Bella….." I tried to make my voice sound slightly reproachful, and although to me I only sounded needful she seemed to understand.
"I know, I know. I think we really need to talk to Carlisle this morning Edward, about lots of things. Do you think you can handle that yet?"
If I was being absolutely honest with myself, I wasn't sure that I was, but I knew that at this moment in time I did need to speak to him. "I think I'm going to have to be. I'll give him a call and arrange for us to meet him at your place later today."
As I was speaking Bella had jumped out of bed and started to head for the bathroom. "Ok, but first lets really make the most of this room. I'm going to order room service!"
I rolled over in the bed and sought out the menu sitting on the table beside me. As I did I wondered what I would have to do to convince Bella that we could just stay where we were permanently.
A/N – A bit of a short chapter this week, but I'm battling with sick kids right now and not getting much (or any) time for anything…..
Hence, apologies for not having replied to so many reviews, thank you so much for all of them, I honestly read and appreciate every single one! But it was write or reply, and I chose write.
So who's excited about New Moon…..?
Reviews are better than waking up in bed with Edward (well, not really, but they're as close as I'm going to get, so send me some love).
