A/N: Hi guys! I'm so sorry for the delay in the chapters. These last weeks I haven't been much at home, and this year it seems I'll be pretty busy, so I probably won't update each week. Even so, I hope you keep reading :)
Just a Step between Life and Death
Chapter 7: Trust.
Botan's eyes snapped open when the rays of the sun entered through her window. She lifted from bed and went out in a hurry. She was confused, and happy. She was eager to work. Eager to go to the street. But overall, eager to be with Hiei. She had found that being near him produced a series of exciting moments where her mood would change from anger to happiness, where she would find out the different facets of the boy, from being an unscrupulous assassin to be a protective companion and even a sweetheart if you noticed his little actions. She wanted to know more about him, she wanted him to open up to her… she wanted to hear him smile again.
A smile crept on her face. Now, she could say with confidence that he was his friend. And she wanted to stay more time with him because she hadn't known him enough in the last years, she regretted it, she could have enjoyed life more… but she had been scared. And she wondered why she wasn't a bit scared of him now that she knew that he was going to kill one of their friends. There was still hope, she kept telling herself.
She found him resting on a tree branch just in the frontier of her barrier. She appreciated it. He didn't leave her to deal with the demons alone.
He was not sleeping, he was only resting, so Botan decided to start with the work as fast as she could.
'Hi Hiei! Prepared for a day of slaying demons?' she exclaimed very loud making a strong pose.
He looked at her tired.
'Can't you wait some minutes?' he asked between a yawn. Botan looked at him surprised.
'Haven't you slept well?' he made a grimace. 'Ok. I'll wait, then.'
She sat on a branch from above of him. He accommodated himself. She saw that the bandage of his right arm was a little undone.
'Have you invoked the dark flames?' she asked him.
'No… just couldn't sleep…' he answered in a low voice. She wasn't sure if that was the truth, but she let it pass.
She observed him. He was really sleepy. If she let him like that he would not help her in all day.
'Hey, wanna hear one of my stories?' she asked annoyingly, and she knew it.
'No.' he answered after some seconds.
'Oh, c'mon.' Botan whimpered. 'It's about a girl, who had a boyfriend, but they couldn't stay together because she had a jealous brother.' She said with enthusiasm.
He sighed. 'No. Thank you.'
She fumed but she didn't want to insist, but she still wanted to talk a little. 'What a pity. I was to help you sort out with the problems with your sister.' She heard him groan and she smiled to herself. 'Her brother was always between her and her boyfriend. He was very protective, but it came so annoying that one day the boyfriend killed the brother.' She continued.
'What?' He asked confused. Then after some minutes, he asked cautiously. 'What did she do?'
'Well, of course, her brother's death made her grief for a long time. But it didn't stop her to be with her boyfriend. It is cruel, yes, but after the brother's annoying methods she came to get sick of him. She wanted to be with the love of her life, after all. But the love of her life was an assassin, the assassin of her brother. So she ran away from home with him and after some years they came to have a happy life.' She looked at him from above the branch. 'She forgave her boyfriend, and when she died, she reunited with her brother, and they talk about their issues. He recognized that he had had to let her live her life, and she asked for his forgiveness for have been angry with him and didn't make a thing to avoid his death.' Her voice was faint.
After some minutes of silence Hiei spoke up.
'You ended telling it.' Botan didn't say anything. 'I don't know if this will sooth you… but I don't plan to act like a brother to Yukina.'
'But that's sad too!'
Hiei closed his eyes. 'You have told me that numerous times. You want me to be her brother, but you don't want me to mess too much with her life.'
'I just want her to be happy…' she said quietly.
'Me too…'
There were some minutes of silence again. Hiei was looking at the sky, while Botan was looking on the sly at Hiei. He sounded honest, but in that honesty there was sadness. He didn't know what he was supposed to do.
'I know you saw me at the Spirit World.' Hiei suddenly said. 'That time when Yusuke had to choose between the tree buttons.' He added. Botan's heart began to beat frenetically. 'When I looked at your face I saw understanding in your eyes. I thought you understood me more than what I can get of myself.' He continued. His voice was calm, almost a whisper. Then he frowned. 'But I really don't believe I would do something similar to the stories that you are telling me.' Botan looked at him surprised. 'Do you really think that I would…?' he was now looking at his hands with fear. Botan pitied him. But overall she was very sorry. Without intending too, she had suggested that he was too obsessed with his sister, or that he would hurt people he in theory cared about, or even that he didn't care about anyone very much…
She jumped to her oar and went to the same level as him. She closed her eyes and when she opened them again to look at him there were tears in her eyes. She held his hand.
'What I saw that day was that you cared about Yusuke more than what you would admit to anyone. In fact, you really care about us. But there I saw that you would give your life for him, that you trusted in him with all your heart.' She said that with a smile. 'But what I feared…' She looked down losing the smile. 'was that you really hadn't a motive to keep on living. That if your fate was to die there, it would have been ok, because you would have died for a friend. You really want to stay with us… but you have wanted to live in demon world for so long that denying it now would go against your principles. So you were forced to deny us.' He was looking at him fiercely. She was a little intimidated, but she wanted to continue. She wanted to ease his pain. 'When you came here to protect me… you don't know how happy I was. Now you could stay with us, you had a real motive to stay here… even if I'm not really a good reason to…' she said this averting her eyes. Hiei took her chin and made her look at him again. 'I want you to stay as much time with the others too. They make you happy. I've… I've come to understand you…' she said with a little smile. 'And I really appreciate your company. I wish I had known you this much from the first time we met… even though there you were quite crazy…' she added with a little laugh. 'The thing is that I don't want the sad feeling, the remorse or the questions that you ask of the meaning of your life to cloud your mind and make you do stupid things. I don't want you to have more regrets.' She pulled a hand on his cheek. 'And I don't believe that you would go doing atrocious thing to us, really, now that I know you, I know that you couldn't do it. But I need you to accept the good that resides in you, so you won't be afraid of staying with us as much as you want.'
Botan was finished. They both knew it. But they stayed still. Their pulse was fast. And they could hear each other breathing hard. She had said what he had wanted to hear. And he had heard what he had denied himself from a long time ago. Now, he noticed that it was true. And he felt relieved. She had freed him.
The next thing Botan knew was that she was in Hiei's arms. He was embracing her very hard. His arms circling her below her armpits and embracing her back with his hands fully opened. She felt his head on her shoulder, breathing in her neck as if she was the only thing he needed in the whole world. Her arms acted by themselves. They found the way to his back and she began making circles with her hands. She rested her head on his shoulder, above his scarf and closed her eyes. She drifted in the moment. She sensed him. His body was little but somehow it was perfect for her. His arms her strong and made her feel safe, his body was warm and she could feel all his muscles, even with the heavy clothes. And his scent… if she could say only and adjective, it would have been superb.
She knew that it was not the moment to be enjoying Hiei's… show of affections, and she felt a little guilty for that, because she had to be comforting him… well, not that she wasn't doing so, but…
Then she felt Hiei's nose moving and caressing her neck. That… was… weird.
She undid the embraced and looked at him again. 'You better?' She decided to forget what he had just done.
When he looked at her she saw the confusion in his eyes. He nodded, though, and stood up on the branch.
She looked at the sky and then lowered her gaze to look at her.
'Where do we begin?'
'I'm waiting for mommy.' The little girl repeated.
She was grabbing like a crab to the streetlight the car she was in had crashed into.
'C'mon Hana, if you come with me you'll be reincarnated. Maybe you can meet your parents again!' Botan told the soul of the four-year-old girl with hope.
The girl pouted. 'But I wanna see them now…'
Botan kneeled and caressed her hair.
'I know.' She told the girl with a smile. 'But think that what your parents really want for your soul is to go to Heavens. There you'll see them. And one day, you'll see them again.'
The girl looked at her sadly. 'Promise?' she asked.
'Promise.' Botan answered and kissed her forehead. 'Now jump to the oar.'
The girl did as she was told and took a glance at Hiei, who was waiting for their departure.
'Are there more Hiei's in the Heavens?' The girl asked.
Botan and Hiei looked at her surprised.
'Of course! There are pleeenty!' Botan answered grinning.
Hiei approached them chucking. 'Liar.' He said with a genuine smile. Then he turned to the girl. 'There are plenty of better people.' He told her.
'And as handsome?' The girl asked with a little blush.
'Oh! Much mooore handsome than him!' Botan answered laughing with a stupid voice.
Hiei lifted an eyebrow with a smirk.
'Even I could tell that that was a lie…' Hana commenting.
'We're taking off!' Botan shouted immediately.
In her way to Spirit World she could hear Hiei's loud laugh and she felt her face blushing of embarrassment. Well, it was a fact. In Spirit World lived ferry girls, ogres, Koenma (who, well, he wasn't half bad, but he wasn't Hiei), and well, sporadically you could see the defense forces, but… nah!
After a long day of work the list of deaths finally came to an end. She knocked into Koenma's and he made her come in.
'Hi, Botan.'
'Hello, Mr Koenma.' She saluted respectfully.
'Any news?' he asked.
'Nope. All souls delivered, sir!' She communicated with confidence.
He looked at his papers.
'That's good.' He said. 'And the matter with the demons?'
Botan smiled. 'I could say that now it's not a bother. Hiei takes very good care of them. It's not that they're not there, but he gets them before they can set their gaze on me. It's very impressive.' She said giggling.
Koenma smiled at her.
'It's good to see you this happy.' He commented.
'Well…' she said blushed. 'I'm always happy!' she defended herself. 'It's just that with that problem I was stressed. It was only that.'
Koenma looked at her a short while.
'Of course.' He said. He was hiding something, of course.
'What?' Botan demanded.
'Nothing. Just thought that you look really happy.' Koenma said smirking. 'Something's up with Hiei?'
'Uh?' she looked at him surprised. 'No! I mean, now I treasure him more as a friend now that I know him better.' She explained still curious.
'That's nice to hear.' He commented. 'Keep the good work.' He said.
'Take care!' Botan answered him and left the door.
Botan and Hiei were, again, sitting on the branch of a tree. Botan had bought some food for them and they were almost finishing it.
'Why didn't you want to go to Yusuke's?' Botan asked. 'The food was good.' She continued.
'Yes.' He said as he ate some noodles. 'I just… didn't want to go today.'
Botan looked at him with a wicked smile. 'Oh, for today? Too much emotion in a day?' She was teasing him. 'Are you afraid that maybe you would have hugged all the clan?' she continued giggling.
'Shut up.' He said with killer eyes.
'Sorry. Couldn't resist.' She looked at the moon. Hiei looked at her a little annoyed.
She ate the rest of her food and another smile crept to her face.
'If you keep being this sensitive Kuwabara may kill you.' Why was she so… wicked? Why was she provoking him? Her brain didn't work correctly. That was a fact.
'What's with you?' he complained. She laughed. It was funny to see him annoyed. 'You know that it's impossible for Kuwabara to kill me!'
Botan looked at him surprised.
'Oh yeah? Why?'
He glared at her as if it explained everything.
'You shouldn't misjudge him.' She began to explain. 'He's gotten pretty awesome with his spirit sword. And he has a very wide imagination to convert it in the most favorable shapes.' She told him. 'It's not good to think that you're the best in everything.'
'I don't think that!' Hiei shouted her.
She looked at him with a face that told: pardon me?
'Anyway, why are you always defending that idiot?' he asked annoyed.
She looked at him with curiosity. 'Well, because he's my friend. And you all think that he's the weakest in the group. Someone has to stand up for him. And so you know… he has some secret abilities that he should be proud of!'
'Ugh! That's gross, woman!' he exclaimed.
'What're you thinking about?' She asked blushing madly. 'I meant that he has some good points that he could win against you!'
He lifted an eyebrow. 'Like what?'
'Well… he's brave, he has a lot of willpower, he is kind, tender, gentle, he can do anything for his friends if it's in his power, even if he risks his life… he's very funny, even if it's because he's an idiot, he's funny.' She explained with a smile. 'Oh, and he's very tall!' Hiei's vein crisped. 'It's not awkward to walk by his side. I dunno why, but the fact of looking up to see a guy's face makes you feel cuter… and you feel protected too.' She finalized.
He was annoyed. 'Well, I don't mean to walk with tall girls, anyway.' He took offence as if she wouldn't like to walk by his side.
Botan broke into a heavy laugh.
'That's funny! Because the closest girls to you apart of your sister are Mukuro and me!'
He was more annoyed. She was laughing at him. Hard. He took his the handle of his katana.
'Shut up, woman, or I'm killing you.' He threated.
'As you would!' she said between chuckles.
Then she felt the blade of the katana on her neck.
'Ok, ok, I'll stop.' She said lifting her hand and stopping her laugh.
Hiei retracted the katana and Botan sighed.
'Oi, Hiei. I was just kidding. It's not bad to be sh… not that tall!' She corrected herself. 'And I feel very protected when I'm with you… Kuwabara doesn't protect you as you do… and…' Hiei was looking at her intently now. She was babbling, and it couldn't be more adorable the way she averted her gaze, or how her cheeks were tinted in pink. But she had to say that name…
He didn't notice but he was approaching to her. Her, who was floating on her oar. 'The truth is that I find you very cu…' he had lifted on the branch, his face was drawn to hers, but he didn't consider gravity, neither the gap between them. And so he fell from the tree head first into the mud.
Botan looked surprised from the top of the tree, then floated next to him. What had exactly happened? One second she was saying stupidities and the next Hiei was on the floor.
When he lifted his face it was bleeding. He had broken his nose. Botan laughed again.
'Really, what were you doing? You can fight S class demons without getting a scratch and you break your nose from falling down from a tree?' she lifted her hands to touch his face. 'You're unbelievable.' She whispered with a funny smile.
He just looked at her embarrassed. He also didn't know what had happened. 'I'll apply some of my white magic.' She told him.
He closed his eyes. He felt the tips of her fingers on his wound, and then the energy emanating from them. They entered through there and passed through his whole body till they returned to the wound. Then the wound was closed.
He opened his eyes and looked at her beautiful eyes. She was smiling. He found her adorable. He then looked at her hands. They were dirty with his blood, and that made him feel guilty. It looked as if she lost her purity by having blood on her hands, so he lifted them and began to lick the blood from them.
He was totally immersed in the act, concentrated on her fingers, on the drops of blood that were staining her white skin. She was freaked out. She was looking at him dumbfounded and couldn't bring her to do anything. She wouldn't shout at him for that, because she didn't want him to stop, but it still was very strange for her. Maybe it wasn't really a problem with demons… but it was very creepy for her.
He began to lick the drops of blood that had fallen through her arms, bringing her hands to his shoulders. She wasn't sure if she shall let her hands touch him. He was really acting like a demon, and then she remembered the conversation she had had with Shizuru the previous night. Maybe Hiei's instincts were finally awakening?
She saw his crimson eyes looking at her. He had finished. But he brought his face nearer hers. Her heart was beating frenetically. She was scared, to tell the truth. Was he going to… kiss her? A voice of her mind told her that she wouldn't mind it so much, and she felt how her eyelids were falling.
'So beautiful…' he whispered when his lips were mere inches from hers.
That's when Botan's eyes snapped open. Hiei would never say that!
She put her hands on his chest and separated him from her.
'Hiei…' she said nervous. He was looking at her with need. 'I think…' she sighed. 'I didn't want to think about it, but, maybe this is the reason.' She said grabbing the necklace Yusuke had given her some days ago.
She broke the superior part of the little bottle and then spilled the contents to the floor.
Hiei blinked and looked at her. Now his expression was unreadable.
'I think this had some kind of perfume that was attracting you demons.' She said sadly. 'Now you don't see me beautiful, right?' she said with a little snort. Hiei remained silence.
'Why didn't you drop it before?' he finally asked.
Botan sighed again. 'Because Yusuke gave it to me as a symbol of our friendship. I didn't want to think that there was an ulterior motive.' She said sadly. She felt her eyes watering. 'I didn't think he would do something like this to me.'
She was really broken, Hiei noted. He wanted to tell her that Yusuke was an idiot, but that he was sure he was not meaning anything bad. He also wanted to tell her that that perfume or whatever was not truly the cause of his actions. But he couldn't make himself say anything.
'Well…' she said standing up. 'Now the demons won't go after me. So, my life becomes normal again. No demons, no barrier…' she looked at him with a sad smile. 'And you won't have to look after me all day. You can go now to the Demon World, Hiei.'
He nodded slowly and then he saw her flying on her oar. She was going to her apartment. She was going to cry. He knew it.
When he found her she was lying on her bed, crying, of course. He wanted to do something. But he felt as if he was no one to do so.
Then the phone rang. After some rings Botan grabbed it lazily and put it on her ear.
'Hi…'
'Oh, hi, Yukina.' Botan said sadly.
He heard his sister talking quite a lot.
'Oh, really? That's great!' She exclaimed intending to sound happy, but her voice betrayed her.
'No, nothing's wrong.' She answered again.
She snorted with a little smile. 'Yes, of course. I'm so happy for you!' she finalized.
'I come to see you tomorrow. Bye.'
Botan hung up the phone and stood there, looking at the ceiling. Her sobs began again when she looked at a page in that book she was always bringing.
He stood there, looking at her from the window until she fell asleep.
Then he entered into the room. He was tempted to touch her face. He had wanted to do so for a long time now, but he thought that she wouldn't have a deep sleep, and that may awake her. And if she saw him there, she would scare herself out again.
So he looked at the book next to her. It was open in a very specific page. And he knew just by looking at it that that page was the reason she had cried.
There was Kuwabara's photo. He was going to die the following day. And the worst of all… he was going to kill him? He was shocked. It couldn't be real, now could it? He remembered Botan saying that the Book was always right.
And that she read the deaths with a time of seven days.
She knew that this was going to happen.
She knew that Hiei was going to kill Kuwabara.
She had told him just a few hours ago that she didn't believe that he would do something terrible. This was indeed terrible. She had lied. That's why she had been so annoying telling him those stories. She wanted him to change his mind. All what she did… was for Kuwabara. That's why she brought him into their conversations. She wanted to save him. She wanted him. Now it all made sense. It was a horrible sense for him. But it was what it was.
He thought about going to Demon World, what she had told him… another way to protect Kuwabara. He felt furious. So, in the end, all she did with him was to not see Kuwabara dead. Well, now she would see him dead. Hiei told himself, and left the room.
