Random Encounters
Chapter Seven- Space Pineapple
Simply leaving the trophy-fied Robins on the floor, Peach started to read out the next one. As her eyes scanned it, a devious smile formed across her face. Ah, it was too perfect, and a flawless counter to both Robin's game and her own problems. Not to mention said Robin was out cold, so she couldn't be accused of foul play. "Alright, Link must marry the first person he sees, and it happens to be Rosalina!", she declared, suspiciously cheery. "What do you do?"
"I- um, I…" Link looked down and began to deeply contemplate the properties of the carpet fibers. "Well, she seems nice enough, I guess."
Rosalina gave a small chuckle of mocking amiability. "Oh, is that so? Well, do I have a say in this? And do we get to become better acquainted with each other first and then marry, or is it right away?"
"It's a hypothetical question, no details, just imagination," Peach explained with a groan, trying to suppress her desire to cackle victoriously. Oh yes, this could most certainly work. If she could force them together somehow, it would solve both of her problems at once, only leaving Dark Pit as the only threat to her plan. Perhaps, though, she could find a way to get him fed up enough to leave? (She didn't suspect that the bag that had fallen from Reflet as he'd jumped up to fight meant anything at this point, even when she caught Dark Pit shoving a pillow in front of it to obscure it.)
A bright red flush spread across Link's face. "Um, I don't know, but I'd want to get to know you first. I guess it doesn't matter either way, though, since we don't have any choice."
"Link, are you alright?", Rosalina suddenly asked, getting up and standing behind the Hylian, nearly tripping over Robin in the process. "You seem a bit on edge."
Gulping, Link seemed to have to force himself to look up. "Oh, it's fine, don't worry about it!", he assured her hollowly. "I'm just not used to hanging out with so many people who aren't Zelda or Shiek or Other Link. That's all. Nothing else is wrong. Er, you can sit down now…"
"Well, if you're certain you're fine, I'll leave you be." Rosalina began to practically glide back over to her seat, but hesitated as she passed the trophy tacticians once more. "Um, do you believe they're calmed down enough now?", she inquired.
Peach bit the inside of her lip to prevent herself from exploding. Rosalina was ruining things again, just like always. Luckily, someone else snarked back before she had a chance to. "Oh, come on!", Palutena protested. "Let's find a way to get them into factory-sealed packages! Robin's amiibo is worth tons, just think how much pizza they would buy! Plus, the girl one could pass as a really good custom, and that might be worth even more!"
"Yeah, and while we're at it, we can kill you too," Shulk dryly replied. "You're even more overpriced, not even Ness has been able to get a hold of you."
"Is that so?", Lucas questioned. "I'd thought he'd gotten every single one available! Or, at least, given how much they clutter our room, it feels as if he must have."
Palutena held her staff aloft for emphasis as she cried "All the more reason to sell them! We can use the proceeds for cinnamon sticks, and whatever's left to buy Ness a me amiibo! Wow, that sounded really weird, and Peach, is it too late to call in an order for cinnamon sticks."
Glancing at the time on her phone, Peach shook her head. "Sorry, but I think it should be here any minute. The website said 'Delivery is guaranteed in three chapters or less!', so-"
She was cut off by the wall making another sharp cracking. Everyone let out a collective shriek, and then decided to act as if it had never happened while silently praying they didn't all get ripped to shreds. "O-okay, next question!", Peach exclaimed, not noting that Lucina had used the chaos as an opportunity to revive the Robins. "Um, Pit tells Palutena a scary-"
A knock at the door cut her off, to which Palutena gleefully rose to answer. "Must be the pizza!", she cheerily declared. "I'll have a word with them about those cinnamon sticks."
However, as she opened the door, she jumped slightly as she laid eyes on the deliveryman: Wolf O'Donnell. "What in my name are you doing here?", she questioned.
"Delivering your freaking pizza, goddess lady," replied the space wolf.
"B-but why?", Palutena asked. "Weren't you a Smash Fighter?"
He shrugged as he entered the room and looked around for a place to set the pizza. "I was, but then they fired me," he explained. "And, well, I still had bills and a home in Space Florida to pay for, so I took the first job I could find."
"'Space Florida'?", Pit repeated. "What's 'Space Florida'? Is that like, the rocket place?"
A nostalgic delight gleamed in Wolf's eyes. "Oh, Space Florida is much better than Earth Florida or Outrealms Florida or Hyrule Florida or even Zebes Florida! It has automated sand!"
"What the heck is automated sand?", Reflet questioned, sitting uncomfortably in front of the bag. "Does that even make any sense?"
"Oh, but greater than any sand automation is the Space Pineapples!", Wolf decreed. "The most luscious, succulent, yellow fruit in all the galaxies! This 'pineapple', they do not seem to grow it anywhere else, but Space Pineapple is worth every cent! And no matter how many cents I must pay, I shall always do it for such a lovely fruit!"
Everyone stared at Wolf for a moment, wondering how the cold, rude fighter they'd known him as could be practically squeeing over pineapple of all things. "Uh, you know, pineapple is grown a lot of other places besides Space Florida," Ike informed him.
Wolf's eyes widened in shock. "Truly?"
"Yeah," Peach bluntly said. "You sell them on your pizzas."
"No one's ever ordered that," Wolf replied. "I thought those weird yellow chunks sort of looked like my beloved, but they tasted all wrong, like they'd been drowned in brine, and I just assumed it was a cheap imitation."
After a moment, Lucas provided "Er, I think there's some in the kitchen down the hall."
Wolf took off like a bullet, speeding out the door, simply dropping the pizza on the floor without asking for payment or anything, and certainly not minding Palutena's cry of "Hey, wait, I wanted to ask you about cinnamon sticks!"
AN- Thank you PrincessKatniss02 for giving me the idea of the new OTP, Wolf x Pineapple. I got it from her one-shot collection, Your Love is Music to My Heart, which is a beautiful Kerosene thing if anyone would like to check it out. Maybe the next side chapter will be about Wolf and his beloved. Also, Space Florida is from a thing, and internet cookies to anyone who recognizes it. Thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik
