I Would Never Admit. Chapter Six: Fix Us.
By: x - - unwrittenMELODY
Next chapter with the story being AU (alternate universe.)
No vampires/vampaneze, no cirque, nada.
A story that focuses on Darren x Steve's relationship.
Okay, so, it's M for chapters containing: AHEMAHEM-content and language.
Here you go. The result of my previous cliffhanger.
Always Darren's POV.
I wanted something sweet and realistic,
so hopefully that's what I aimed for.
Anyway, onto the chapter.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story. I never have, never will.
Happy reading!
I wasn't sure how long I had been sitting there, blubbering like a baby but eventually my sobs turned into hiccups. I rubbed at my red eyes and sniffed, my knees still to my chest. I coughed and looked around, not entirely sure what to do next.
Go find him, idiot.
I stood up slowly, shaky and moved to open the door when I remembered that Becca was still on the couch. I sighed and walked over to her form, looking at how her expression was pained. I frowned and picked her up gently and in bridal style, slipping on my vans that sat near the door. I finally made way out of the apartment and walked to hers. When I got there I realized that I didn't have a key. I cursed under my breath and saw something silver in the flowerpot next to the door. I laid her down momentarily to see what it was and I was in luck. It was a key!
I opened the door quickly then picked her back up, walking into the apartment. It was very quiet and neat and smelled like lavender. I flinched at a light as it clicked on and a red headed girl came in, night gown on and she stared at me.
"Who are-"
"Becca's boyfriend. She passed out at my apartment. You know, can't have her over at night. Against the rules," I said and she nodded and showed me the way to where Becca's room was.
"Thanks," I said and the girl nodded and left us alone and I didn't place Becca down until I heard a soft click of a door shutting.
I laid her onto the bed and covered her, just standing there now. I went to kneel beside her bed and ran my finger's through her hair. She was hell of a lot prettier when she was sleeping and not continuously talking. I took a small chain I had from around my neck and placed it into her hand, curling her finger's around it when I was finished. She had given me it about a year back and I guessed I didn't need it... after what happened.
"I'm sorry Becca. I just... I love Steve..."
I bit my lip and stood up, running my finger's through my hair and looked around her room. She had a lot of photo's up but the one that got to me was the photo of us back in our freshman year of high school. Geez, she still had that old thing?
I picked it up and saw how she was looking at me: sincere and in love. God, I'm not that bad of a person for doing this to her, right? I did feel the guilt but leading her on would of hurt even more. I had lead her on enough so eventually this was to happen. I flipped the picture down after I returned it and leaned over her bed. I kissed her forehead gently and walked over to the light switch.
"Goodnight Rebecca," I said gently before switching the light off and made way to the front door.
"She loved you, a lot," a voice behind me spoke and I wheeled around to see the red head there in the hallway looking at me.
"She always talked about you. 'Look Cassie! Look at what Darren got me' or 'Darren is such a sweet guy. I'm so lucky to have him!' I guess things aren't always the way they seem..." she spoke and I frowned, looking away.
"You rather of me pretended to love her and hurt her more?" I asked, confessing things to a girl I had never even met before.
"No. I guess not. Just... let her down easy when you see her next, okay? When a girl loves a guy that much, they deserve at least that much. Tell Steve I said hey and that he's got one hell of a catch," she responded and I blinked and looked over to her.
She smiled a bit and held up her wrist and there was a silver chain. Steve had a matching one.
"Who are you?" I asked and she shrugged, placing her finger to her nose and tapped it a few times before walking off.
"Go to him before he does something stupid," was all I heard from her last before a door closed and I sighed.
"Shit," I mumbled and quickly left the apartment, locking it and returning the key.
Now, to find Steve. I walked around for what seemed like hours and made way past the parking lot in front of the apartment complex. I paused when I saw a car that was rocking and I blushed. Would people really go to the extremes of doing it in the car of all places?
I was about to walk away when I heard a grunt and a loud one, at that. That grunt was different, though. I stopped and turned back to the car, eyes narrowed. That was Steve's grunt.
"The fuck?" I mumbled and moved closer to the back window and could barley see with how fogged up the window's was.
I got the sounds, though and after having sex with Steve so many times, I knew it was him in there. I was so pissed, I leaned down and grabbed the biggest rock I could find on the ground.
"CHEATING BASTARD!" I screamed and chucked it at the window and it broke the glass.
It broke the glass! I heard yells of surprise and I backed away, hearing a stream of curses flee Steve's lips. I backed away more until I was now full sprinting towards the campus apartments, not looking back. All I heard last was Steve's voice crying out in a pained tone:
"DARREN!"
"Stupid son of a bitch!" I yelled, grabbing any photo I had of Steve and I and began to rip it up.
Hundreds of torn pictures scattered my floor and I continued on my rampage, anything that had to do with Steve was history.
"CHEATING FUCKER!" I yelled and ripped down the other pictures of us lining my walls.
I stormed out of the room and into the living room, pacing. I was angry, no fuck that, I was LIVID. How could he do this to me? I understand we had a fight but having SEX with another PERSON let alone a girl was just insane. Oooh that-
I heard a door open and I stopped, head whipping up and fire in my eyes. There was Steve, hair a mess and expression full of guilt. He closed the door behind him and I glared him down as he took a step forward.
"Darren, let me explain..." he began but I didn't want to talk or hear his explanation.
First thing I could grab I threw.
CRASH.
Ah, a vase full of flowers. He had ducked and it had missed him. Bastard.
CLANG.
That one was a clock, hm.
"Da- DARREN STOP!"
THUNK.
"FUCK!" he hissed and fell to the ground and I stared him down, smiling victoriously as I was holding my next object: his laptop.
The textbook I had thrown previously had nicked him in the leg and sent him to the ground and I tossed his laptop onto the couch and he made his way up slowly.
"You fucked her. You were fucking her. HER in a FUCKING CAR," I growled, tears streaming down my cheeks and I punched him in the chest.
He stumbled a bit, back to the refrigerator and he frowned.
"I'm sorry Darren. I didn't think I—"
"Like fuck you didn't think! LIKE FUCK YOU DIDN'T THINK? HOW WAS SHE, HUH? WAS SHE AS FUCKING TIGHT AS YOU WANTED?"
He bit his lip and I could see how hurt and upset he was. I was too angry to care, especially with how hurt I was myself.
"Darren..." his voice cracked and my hand swung back and smoothly connected with his cheek.
I was crying hard now, I felt it. I didn't even know I could produce any more tears. He was crying now, too and tried to hold my hands. I slapped him again and then punched his chest.
"You had sex with her. You had sex with some girl. Some girl you probably don't even know. You... I broke up with Becca for you," I stuttered, pointing to my bare neck and moved away from him.
"I'm so sorry, Darren. I didn't... I thought..." he began but he was choking on his tears and had his eyes closed.
"You said you loved me. Wish I could tell how you lied so I can call you out on it," I said partially in disgust and pulled away as he tried to kiss me.
"I do love you. I do... I wasn't thinking. I was upset-"
"-new roommate," I said and realized we had been speaking at the same time.
He looked at me and asked softly, "What?"
"Your getting a new roommate. I'm done with you," I said and moved away from him and turned on my heel to my room.
I felt his hand grab my wrist and he forcefully wheeled me around, eyes wide and hurt.
"What... what do you mean? We're... we're not over..." he pleaded and I did my best to pull away and failed miserably as his grip was stronger then my own strength.
"We are over. I don't want Becca and I don't need you," I lied to the last bit and tried to control my face movements so my nose wouldn't give me away.
It worked because he backed away, eyes wider then before and he choked on a sob.
"I... but I love you. Please Darren, I made one mistake," he whined and I bit my lip and looked away.
"I need... I need to think about... us. For right now, it's over," I whimpered and before I would break out into tears again I ran to my room and slammed the door.
I locked the knob and laid in my bed, face to my pillow and cried then harder then I had ever in my life.
Tomorrow was the day I would decide... and I was afraid of what would happen.
As sun beamed onto my face I grunted, shielding my eyes from the sunlight. I sat up slowly, tears crusted onto my cheeks. I sniffed, rubbing at my face and tossed my legs over the side of the bed. My body hurt badly and I laid back down, sadness seeping into me and resting in my gut.
Today... I had to decide today. It was harder then I thought, deciding. I love him, I know this better then I even know myself. He hurt me, badly at that. I ran my finger's through my hair and continued to think. I guess... I'm sort of relieved it was a girl, to look on the brighter side. I mean, I didn't expect him to go completely... I mean... dammit.
"Why, Steve?" I whined and finally stood up, having to use the bathroom.
When I got there, though, it was occupied. I leaned against the door frame as the shower ran in the bathroom. It was quiet beside the muffled noises in the shower and the running water. The sound of trying to drown out your tears.
"I'm sorry," I heard him mutter, something dropping in the tub but he didn't move to pick it up.
"I'm hurt really badly, you know," I said, biting my lip and the shower turned off slowly and it was silent for a few moments.
"I'm pissed off, to say the least," I continued, "and sad that... you..."
"I didn't meant to hurt you..." he whispered and I closed my eyes when he opened the curtain and stepped out.
"I'm sorry..." he whispered and his hand was to my cheek and I looked away from him in response.
"Darren..." he said softly and began to kiss at my hands and my neck and even my jaw; I stood there motionless as he went on.
"Please..." he moaned desperately and kissed me gently but I didn't kiss back.
"I don't know," I said and he kissed me harder, trying to force his feelings onto me.
I was mad, still but his lips were so soft I was tempted to give in. He guided my body down onto the bathroom floor and continued to kiss me, me finally kissing back. As he pulled away I averted my eyes and he whimpered softly.
"Darren... please..." he muttered, kissing my jaw and neck again and I used whatever strength I had to push him into the side of the tub.
"I can't believe you did this to me," I muttered and kissed him hard and hoped this was a bruising kiss I was giving.
I straddled him as he sat there and my hands snaked up into his hair and I grabbed at it and he winced; he didn't try to move me, nor tried to stop me. I moved my lips from his and my mouth went to his neck where I began to nip at it and he moaned softly in my ear. His hands were still by his sides until I moved my hands to position his on my waist.
"I'm sorry..." he apologized again and I gritted my teeth, my nails digging into his back.
"Prove your sorry. Quit apologizing," I groaned and he laid me down, kissing me gently.
My hands snaked back to his hair and I wrapped as many strands around my finger's as I could before I pulled at it, causing his head to whip back. I pulled him down and kissed him hard, thrusting my hips to his. He moaned in my mouth and I wrapped my legs around his waist, finger's running up and down his back.
He began to grind his hips with mine and I didn't moan only dig my nails into his back and drag them down. He looked at me with a solemn expression, eyes telling me that he'd do anything for my forgiveness. I pushed him off and sat him back up, his back against the toilet now. I straddled him once again and held his hands, thumb nails digging into his palms. He was awfully quiet but I didn't ponder on it too long, rolling my hips against his. He began to groan softly and I rolled my hips harder, causing him to become louder.
My thumb nails dug harder and his hands wrapped around mine as a reflex. He moved his head to kiss me but I moved away, watching his lost expression as I did so. His lips parted as I stuck my tongue out, snaking it's way into his mouth without actually kissing him. Tried again to kiss me but I pulled away and responded by digging my nails in deeper and grinding harder.
"Darren..."
"Just tongue," was all I responded and his tongue snaked out of his mouth and mine did, too, wrapping around his.
He moaned at the sight, I suppose as I finally kissed him with force, eyes sliding shut. I could feel how hard he was through my shorts and I pulled away from the kiss and heard him whimper in response. My nails removed from his hand and he winced, the small cuts in his palms evident there.
I stood up for a moment and he watched me as I slid down my shorts, still silent throughout this whole process. He seemed amazed at this and I only straddled him again, one hand to the back of his head and the other on his waist.
"Make me ride you."
He nodded and lifted me up and I closed my eyes as I felt him slowly slide inside of me and I finally felt a moan release from me. He looked at me hopeful and I pushed my hair from my eyes, looking at him expectantly. He caught on and placed his hands on my sides, moving me slowly up and down. I felt the pleasure fill me and I began to pant softly, eyes sliding shut again as he moved in and out of me.
"Thrust... into me," I moaned and he pulled out almost all of the way before slamming me back down and I arched my back.
"Shit..." I groaned and my finger's trailed from his neck to his back and my nails made home to his back once more.
He grunted softly and a flash back of last night hit me and I pushed hard onto him he grunted even louder.
"You hear those sounds your making?" I said and pushed onto him again and he grunted again and nodded.
"Only I am allowed to make you sound like that. Got it?"
He nodded again and I pushed even harder and he moaned softly.
"And these noises. No one else gets this-" I pushed so he was all the way into me and I moaned loudly, "but me. THIS is mine."
"Darren..."
"Got it?" I moaned and dug my nails deeper into his back and he looked at me, panting.
"Got it."
"Good," I said and kissed him hard, holding onto him the best I could as he was basically pounding into me now.
"Prostate. Find it," I moaned and he laid me down and began to thrust as hard as he could, hands trying to hold mine.
"Not yet. Find it... ah... ah... f... firs—ah..."
He nodded and began to thrust in different angles, searching for my sweet spot. I felt bliss flush over me and I arched into him, eyes rolling back.
"Found... it..." he moaned and his hands laced with mine and held them tightly as I mine stayed still in the hold.
"Push it. Hit it," I mumbled and he leaned in close to my face and watched my expressions as he skillfully pushed into me, hitting my prostate over and over again.
I was moaning so loudly now I was almost loosing the feeling of irritation and anger and only felt ecstasy coursing through my veins. He kissed me and I kissed back, arms wrapping around his neck as he thrust into me. My hands ran along his sides and to grip his firm ass as he pushed into me and I arched again into him.
He was grunting along with my moans and soon I was to the breaking point. I softly moaned his name and he leaned in and kissed me as soon as I came. I almost screamed into his mouth and my body convulsed as I released.
I felt him release after me and we laid there, panting. I felt the sweat drip along my body and he hand his finger's through my hair.
"Dar-"
"I love you and I'm hurt," I began as I cut him off and he bit his lips and listened, "you hurt me, badly. It will take time for me to even trust you fully again. What you did is still killing me now.
"I want you to remember this because we are not having sex for a while again, either."
He nodded almost reluctantly and I closed my eyes briefly before opening them again.
"I met a girl last night," I said and he watched me, a puzzled expression on his face.
"A red-haired girl..."
"Cassie?" he asked and I looked at him and he blinked.
"You know-"
"She's my best friend," he said and pulled out of me gently, kissing my stomach as I laid back down.
"You've never mentioned her," I said and he laid his head on my chest, drawing shapes onto my stomach.
"I have, many times. You never pay attention," he said and I frowned and he looked up to me, a small smile on his lips.
I felt all of my anger, sadness, everything retreat at the sight of that one little smile.
"Don't... ever hurt me again..." I said softly and me moved up and pulled me to his chest, face in my hair from the feeling of it.
"I'd kill myself before even thinking of it," he whispered, tone serious and I was saddened but relieved at this all at once.
"Are we...?"
I looked up at him and tears were shining at the edges of his eyes and I kissed his chest, saddened.
"We are... we just need to work... out some things," I admitted and he pulled my face close and kissed me delicately.
"Then we'll work at it until everything is perfect," he whispered on my lips and I clutched onto him in response.
Until everything was perfect. Perfect... just perfect.
Ta-dah.
Next chapter up soon.
I've experienced this, so I did it sort of out of how my experinece with,
with how Darren and Steve would handle it.
Hope you liked it.
Thanks for reading and reviewing and putting up with my absence(s)!
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Love you guys (:
