Chapter Seven

Eight days. Eight days with little sleep. Eight days observing Ivan from sun up to late night. Eight days of General Winter slowly becoming less connected to her reality. Eight days of wondering who was this ghost that seemed to exist only for Ivan's torment. Eight days of watching her little brother lashing out and speaking harshly in the name of their caretaker. Eight days of despairing at the fact he did not realize their guardian was deaf, blind, and mute. It was on the eighth day that Katyusha had discovered the truth.

Ivan lay beside her breathing softly, blissfully unaware of the twisted world he had created. She was torn between screaming the truth at him and ripping him out of the nightmare, or letting him live in a dream that made sense to him despite its dark ruler. Telling him the truth about his real history would be cruel, but everyone desires the truth. Don't they?

What if he doesn't believe me? How am I going to convince him that all of the horrible things General Winter forced on us was because of him?

It was the eight day and she had had enough. Dark half circles sat beneath tired eyes while muscles ached from fatigue. Her mind wandered to that place in the west. The place where she almost made a friend. She figured the strict no friend policy was a manifestation of Ivan's lack of trust in others and his own selfishness. Being attacked by stronger nations made him distrust every foreigner. Perhaps he only accepted Katyusha because he needed one person to prove that he could be loved despite the walls he created. Katyusha felt captive and needed to break free.

The sun had yet to rise when she slipped out of bed. With her coat tightly wrapped around her, she set out in hopes of finding some one that would save her. She did not remember the exact path she had taken, but hope of contact drove her onward. When she heard the sound of crunching snow ahead of her, her heart lifted high into her throat. Her voice faltered when she called out to the brown haired boy.

"E-e-excuse me!"

He turned to her. Blue eyes beheld her with surprise then sympathy. "It's you... What happened to you? You look terrible. Not that you really look terrible, it's just-"

Katyusha flung her arms around the boy and sobbed. At first his body was stiff and his heart beat pounded loudly in his chest, but after a moment his muscles softened as he placed a caring arm around her shoulders. She spoke in shaky sobs. "It's too much... I can't take it anymore... I just want to run away..."

He pat her head. "I don't understand."

She pushed away from his chest. Embarrassed about telling someone she hardly knew what she had been feeling for such a long time, Katyusha tried to apologize. "I'm so sorry. That must have been weird for you. You can forget it all..."

The boy looked at her with a troubled frown. "It's alright, we are friends right? Friends are supposed to be there when their friend is feeling troubled. You can talk to me about whatever it is causing you to feel this way."

Torn between smiling at being called a friend and wanting to clam up, Katyusha knocked her fist lightly on the side of her head. It would not be right of her to tell a practically stranger that her little brother created an evil imaginary guardian that made life unbearable. "It's nothing..." She made an awkward smile. "I was just frustrated and may have gone a little overboard."

He looked at her with sad eyes. "You don't have to lie to me..."

"I'm not lying..." She pulled the corners of her mouth into a wider smile. "See, I'm much better now."

Crossing his arms, the boy pouted. "You know, your not very good at hiding your feelings." He shook his head and sighed. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but a fake smile like that doesn't suit you..."

Katyusha felt tears prickle at the edges of her eyes. With a couple sniffles, she found herself blubbering while hugging the boy again. Over the years she had collected many reasons to cry and was letting every pent-up tear have its chance to race down her face. She always knew she was a crybaby on the inside, but for the first time ever she found somebody that did not mind her shameful display of distress. After covering the front of the boy's jacket with tear stains and snot, her wailing subsided into small hiccups as she calmed down.

"Feeling better?" he asked when she pulled back.

"Uh-huh." She nodded her head and wiped her face with her sleeve. "Thank you..."

"Anytime you need it, feel free to find me." He ruffled up her hair affectionately. "You should consider joining me and my new friend. We're about to make an alliance and become so strong that other nations will think twice before messing with us. I'm sure he'll like you. The three of us can look after each other."

Her smile was weak from exhaustion, not from disapproval. She thought about how appealing the offer was, but could not forget her little brother waiting fro her to return, alone with his nightmares. "I wish I could. Friends seem like such a wonderful thing, but I cannot be friends with you two. Not with the way things are now."

"Why not?"

She shook her head.

"Okay..." He fumbled with his jacket buttons. When he got the top four loose, he pulled out a long knitted pink scarf. "Umm... If it's not too much trouble, I'd like you to have this."

"I can't accept this. I have nothing I can give you in return. You have been to good to me, a stranger."

The boy blushed. "It's nothing really." He scratched the back of his head and avoided eye contact. "I originally made it for my other friend because he likes pink of all colors, but I doubt he would like a hand made gift like this. Besides, I think it would look better on you... So please keep it."

Katyusha looked at the pink scarf in her hands with wonder. It was her favorite gift by far. "Thank you so much."

"This scarf is special," he explained. "As long as you a wearing that scarf, I'll know that it is you and help you no matter what. It'll be a promise that we will become good friends."

She could not help but smile at that.

"Let me help you put it on." As he wrapped the warm scarf around her neck, the boy was close enough to make her feel a sudden bout of shyness. "There! It looks beautiful on you. Your eyes almost look violet with it on."

Her heart stopped. Ivan...

"I have to go..." She hugged him tightly. "I hope that some day you and I can be good friends."

"Wait!" The boy called after her, but she never stopped running. "I still don't know your name..."

Cold air stung her lungs as she raced back to the place she once knew as home. As she ran, she stuffed the scarf inside her own coat. She did not know how Ivan would react if he found out she was in contact with a foreigner. Then she heard the sound of gun fire.

"Ivan," she breathed out in a whispered from her spot among the trees. He had a smoking rifle in his hands and just shot the a tree top clear off the parent tree. He cheered to himself gayly and proceed to limb the tree on shot at a time. Where he found the rifle or how he had become so talented at shooting it, but she needed to make sure he was not a danger to himself.

Katyusha approached after several rounds with her eyes fixed on the ground in front of her. It was all she could do to keep from turning back to the woods. When she approached her brother, she braced herself for whatever happened next. She made sure to greet the now invisible gaurdian. It was safe to assume the "caretaker" was present. "Good evening, General Winter."

Absolute silence.

"How many bullets?" Ivan asked no one in particular after a long pause. He cleared his throat to answer his own question. "One, sir."

Katyusha shuddered at her brother's abnormal behavior. She questioned why it took so long for her to notice it was all a game of make believe. At her close distance, she could smell the scent of vodka on his breath.

"Katyusha, wait by the door," her brother demanded. "After this last shot, General Winter will deal with you."

She looked where she suspected the man would be standing if he were real and responded, "Yes, sir."

A bead of sweat rolled down her neck as she marched forward knowing there was a loaded gun about to be fired behind her. Instinct told her to glance back, and that is when she noticed that she would be Ivan's next target. Maybe it would be okay to die here... Then I wouldn't have to live this miserable life anymore. I could go somewhere better... Somewhere warm...

Bang!

The shot missed her by a long shot. A hole in the wood door marked where the bullet had pierced it. Then there was fighting. Ivan punched ad kicked while screaming a random course of apologies and obscenities. When General Winter "left them," the two lay panting in the snow staring up at the night sky. Tonight the moon made a rare appearance between dark grey clouds.

"Thank you," she said when she caught her breath.

"What?" The sound of confusion was easily recognizable in her dear brother's voice.

"Thank you for not shooting me."

"I shot at you."

"But you missed."

"I was drunk Katyusha. I probably couldn't hit the side of a barn."

"That's not true." Katyusha crawled until she was laying right beside him. She raked her mind for the right words to use. "I saw your last shots. You could have killed me. Why did you do it? You knew he would get angry. Why did you miss so blatantly?"

"Because I'm not him, Katyusha." He turned his head so he was looking directly at her. "I told you that no matter how much I drink, I won't be him."

A small feeling of hope seized her heart. Perhaps some day, Ivan would be free of his self imposed plagues. As she looked into the beautiful violet eyes she cherished so much, remembered the scarf and the words the young boy had spoken to her. With the scarf she could give him a form of protection. Someday it may lead to him having friends. She pulled out the pink scarf and offered it to him.

"I know it is a little late to celebrate your birthday, but I will give you this."

Ivan looked down at the scarf in her had and made a pained smile. "Isn't this a little..."

"This is a magic scarf," Katyusha said while wrapping it snugly around his bare neck. "If you wear this, some one will definitely com and help you."

That night, while Ivan lay nestled in bed with the pink scarf, Katyusha chose her best coat and boots. The road ahead was unknown and there was a risk of not surviving on her own in a strange land, but it was a decision she had to make for her own health and safety. She pressed a light kiss to her brother's brow before heading for the door. "Good night, my dearest Ivan. Please dream sweet dreams and learn to forget your cowardly sister. She is not strong enough to help you."