Thanks muchly for the reviews all, now for the next bit. Okay so the first bit may ramble a little I hope it doesn't put you off the rest of the chapter. Just one question though, does everyone like the length of the chapters so far? This story seems to want longer and more detailed chapters than my others and I'm not sure what you all like so…let me know. Enjoy.
Chapter 7- The Truth Of The Matter
Resolve strong, mask firmly in place, Tony DiNozzo strolled confidently out of the elevator. To anyone who didn't know him, they would see a very confident, somewhat cocky NCIS Special Agent. But, anyone who did, and knew enough about him would see through his perfect rouse. They would see the slight tension that his posture held and the fine lines around his eyes, they would also, notice the too tight grasp on the file in his hands. Being one the best, if not the best undercover agent in NCIS and a DiNozzo, he'd be able to fool most people with his day-to-day persona or any that he should so happen to need when the situation called for it without fault and boy was it needed today. All the practice he had developed from a young age was necessary if he was going to pull off telling the team one of the many secrets he hid from them.
Years ago, after someone found out, said person happened to either blame him or disappear completely. Though, thinking about it, it was mainly the latter. With that thought, came the image of the teacher's lifeless eyes looking at him, trying to push the memory away he turned away from the team just before he arrived at their section of the bull pen. Looking out the clear window, he watched as normalcy resumed outside. It being mid-morning the sun was reaching its highest point which seemed in contrast to the memories as of late, them being some of the lowest points of a past he would rather forget. Gaining strength from the normalcy of the outside world, he pushed away his apprehension and proceeded to tell the voice in his head that, just because they would find out about what happened, didn't mean they would also fall into the latter part of his previous thought. Locking up all traces of fear and nervousness into a box and mentally throwing away the key, he turned back around to face the team.
For all intents and purposes, Gibbs was proud of how the younger agent had been handling things so far. Yes, he'd run out of a crime scene and panicked upon seeing a picture of someone who had killed his mother, but who wouldn't under the circumstances that had been revealed so far. Also, Gibbs knew that most people would act like that if an old pain was dragged its self up in such away that it actually reflected said past pain. He knew that he himself, would struggle to control his emotions if he so happened to come across a crime scene that mirrored perfectly the deaths of his wife and daughter.
The coil of worry that had been twisting in his gut loosened a little as Tony quietly strolled out of the elevator. Seeing the 'fake' confidence oozing from the agent he smiled dryly, knowing it was all an act and, his agent's best coping mechanism. However, the coil tightened again as the act faltered slightly and Tony turned to look out of the window, the pressure of the coil almost made him get up and help but he knew it wouldn't be a good idea. Not at the moment. Tony needed to regain his composure on his own and do things for himself so he felt like he was accomplishing something. Gibbs couldn't have Tony second guessing his own initiative or relying on him too much if he wanted Tony to stay on the case, not matter how much he wanted to help and control the situation, he wouldn't.
Sighing inwardly with relief as Tony's posture relaxed a fraction, having seemingly found some sense of calm from simply looking outside, Gibbs noticed that McGee and Kate hadn't seen Tony's unusually silent approach. He just hoped that Kate would think before she thought of confronting Tony, he'd go running if this wasn't handled carefully. Not that he thought his agent was weak, it was just if Tony got the wrong idea his reaction would be…conditioned, defensive, one that he would have taken or learned in the past and Gibbs didn't want that happening. Not if it could be helped.
Noticing her partner's very uncharacteristic return to his desk, Kate knew she had to take a different approach with him. Observing him for a moment before she made her move, she watched as he settled himself down at his desk and glanced quickly over to Gibbs, as if he were nervous about something. Seeing the folder in his hand, she wondered if it was the cold case Gibbs had been talking about earlier, she was a little annoyed that he hadn't shared it yet. I mean, how were they supposed to solve the case when certain members of the team were hiding things.
Knowing he was being watched now that he had returned to his desk wasn't helping matters, he quietly contemplated what he could say to them when they had read the file he still held, maybe, he wouldn't have to say anything at all but that hope was quickly crushed knowing that they were investigators. They would have questions. He so wasn't looking forward to that.
"You find anything in the cold case, DiNozzo?"
Bringing both Tony and Gibbs out of their thoughts, Kate's tone was a little more forceful than she would have liked and Gibbs briefly looked at Tony, hoping he wouldn't pick up on it. Seeing the shutters come down on Tony's expression caused the coil to twist further, if Tony felt pressured he wouldn't talk about it. Tony hesitated a little, but an oh so fake smile spread across his face as he forced the answer out.
"Why yes, Kate, I did." Tony's own tone was bordering on wounded, but held none of the mocking it usually would, and the use of Kate's correct name made her regret the way she had asked.
Opening a draw of his desk, Tony took out the copies he had made of the file while Gibbs had been down with Ducky a few hours ago. He'd had to pull some pretty big strings to get the original file, as most people still believed it to be an accident. He debated whether it was a good idea, he knew he was being watched like a hawk now, he had to tell them. Or, they at least had to find out some way, he was not getting out of this one. Maybe, with all of the team helping, they could get this guy quicker and anything they had, be it past or present may help.
Looking up briefly, he saw Gibbs looking concerned, most likely at the way he had answered Kate's question and subsequently made it seem like he had ignored it to look for something, McGee hadn't yet learned to school his features so showed the curious shock it held, Kate's expression was curious with a little hint of anger. To be honest he couldn't really blame her either, if she had run out on a crime scene he would be annoyed as well. After getting up and handing his fellow team mates the case file from years ago, Tony made his way silently to his desk and took quiet but calming breaths while he awaited his fate.
The absolute silence in the main part of the bull pen was unnerving to the surrounding agents, but they kept their minds focused on their work and not what was going on with the main team. All that could be heard was the click-clacking of computer keyboards, and papers being shuffled. Usually there were other teams of agents on cases but the only case they had at the moment was the murder of Cassandra Lynn and the main team had that one. They knew the slow day wouldn't last and that's what made the stillness and silence foreboding, like the calm before the storm. And from the almost solemn atmosphere it wasn't going to be pretty and people were going to get hurt, be it physically or mentally though, was yet to be seen.
Wanting to know why Tony seemed out of sorts and why Gibbs seemed almost…protective? Over Tony, Kate started reading the file with hungry eyes. Noticing that it was an old NYPD case, she wondered what it could possible have to do with their current case. Becoming a little annoyed at the fact the case seemed useless she noticed that it was marked unsolved. Filing through the pictures she recognised that the wounds on the victim were similar to that off the one yesterday, seeing the point to the file she took a closer look. Skipping over a few minor details she read;
Name: Maria DiNozzo
Female, Caucasian, approximately 5'9. Age:34
Deep laceration to the neck, severing the carotid artery. Cause of death: Exsanguination
Her stomach churned as she read the remaining list of injuries and found that they matched with the body currently in the morgue. Still not seeing that this would have something to do with Tony…Wait, the name. Maria DiNozzo. Looking through the rest of the file to try and disprove her theory she came across a witness statement, from one Anthony DiNozzo Jr. Oh god, breathing deeply but quietly she tried to quell the nausea rising within her.
Knowing her face was a little pale she looked around at the others, Gibbs looked as stoic as ever, not that surprised by what he read. McGee looked like she felt and was shooting nervous glances at Tony. Tony, well, he seemed to be in deep concentration, looking at his monitor. Either not wanting to look at them or not wanting them to be looking at him. Being the profiler she was she now realised that his posture the last week or so had been stiffer, less relaxed, especially for Tony. No wonder he'd left the crime scene yesterday, to be honest she couldn't really blame him now and felt badly for how she'd acted earlier in the day. Neutralising her usual teasing tone, she was the first to speak up after reading the case file; but something was off, she could feel it.
"Tony, I-"
"Don't." He stated simply, not wanting to look up at the pitying look she was sending or to see McGee send his nervous looks at him as if he were about to crumble. Nor was he completely ready to answer the questions he Knew Gibbs would have about the file he'd given them.
"But-" Kate started again, hoping to get some sort of answer from Tony. Gibbs cut her off.
"You remember anything else that's not in the file, DiNozzo?" Tony was a little relieved that Gibbs, at least, was using his normal tone of voice. Though, Gibbs had the feeling that something wasn't quite right as well. Both McGee and Kate turned their full attention to Tony, he seemed to pale a little but still tried to answer.
"Ah…Well it was a long time ago boss…" he started to ramble a little until Gibbs cut him off.
"Tony."
Becoming silent at Gibbs' calm but ordering tone and the use of his first name, Tony looked away from Gibbs' stare and continued going through anything that could help. In truth, he was panicking a little, he knew all three of them were looking at him and he hated it. He also knew that he'd have to be ready to answer at least some questions about it.
Gibbs saw his agent becoming more uncomfortable as each second passed and knowing that Tony obviously didn't want Kate asking questions just yet, he decided that he would talk to him alone first. "Kate, McGee, track down anything and everything that could link the two victims together with Rendall. DiNozzo, with me."
Getting up with less outward confidence than he had when he'd sat down, Tony followed Gibbs towards the elevator, completely ignoring the looks the other two were sending him. He could see they both had questions but they could wait as far as he was concerned, besides, some of the answers were in the file.
For some reason he felt like he was going towards his doom, the steps got heavier and heavier as they stepped into the cold metal box that was the elevator. His breathing increased ever so slightly at the claustrophobic feel of it, sensing eyes on him he saw Gibbs' concerned blue ones looking back at him. Shuddering to a stop after hitting the emergency stop, the elevator's lights dimmed and Gibbs started.
"They're gonna ask you questions."
"I know."
"You're gonna have to answer them." Gibbs replied with some finality in his tone.
"I know." But the voice didn't match the person who Gibbs had gotten used to, not one bit. It was timid and small, and this riled Gibbs up even more. Sighing, not for the first time that day, Gibbs got to the point. He didn't want to do this to the kid but he didn't really have a choice if Tony was going to clam up like he had.
"You're too close to this one." The statement simple, but the intended words torn though Tony like a knife.
"I need to be on this case, Boss." Tony tone was retuning to normal at least, but Gibbs could sense a little anger and it was directed at him. Well, anger was better than nothing, he supposed he may have used his bastard ways to get Tony riled up on purpose. A small smile play upon his lips as Tony's posture returned to some semblance of normal and the anger in his tone flashed in his eyes; he knew exactly what to do to get Tony working.
Giving Tony some time to get his thoughts together, Gibbs made a decision to get the full story later that day. He pressed the emergency switch and headed downwards, to Abby's lab.
"Tony, I want you to help Abby with that list you gave her and see what you can find. After we're done here, we'll head to yours so you can pack your bags, you're staying with me until this is solved. You got that."
"But-" he was cut of by a head-slap, which actually calmed him a little, at least Gibbs wasn't treating him differently, or, didn't appear to be. Though he knew that Gibbs needed to do this for his own piece of mind, especially if he thought the person was actually going to come after him.
"That sound like a suggestion to you, DiNozzo?!"
"No, Boss." Tony smiled with a look of gratitude. He was being let off for now and didn't want to test the waters, at least, not yet.
x-X-x
While Tony was down with Abby, Gibbs headed back to the bull pen; he needed to have a talk with his other two agents.
Upon his approach, Kate was the first to ask a question. Gibbs noticed she still seemed a little shaken up about the information she had found out; though, secretly he was happy that she seemed to be sorry about the way she had treated Tony earlier in the day, but that didn't mean that he could stop glaring at her every now and then.
"Where's, Tony?" she asked a little nervously, not wanting Gibbs to get angry again. She'd been a complete bitch earlier and she knew it.
"With Abby, going over the list for other possible suspects." She still had questions though.
"He tell you anything else?"
"Nope."
"Aren't you going to ask him?"
"Not yet." By now he had made his way back to his desk and he realised the little information he'd been giving out. Kate looked ready to blow, Tony could have more information to add but they had other way of finding information at the moment.
McGee was watching the conversation with some interest as it meant he wouldn't have to look at the file before him. It was incomprehensible to him that one of his co-workers, friends had gone through something that horrible and still be sane. Well, Tony wasn't exactly the sanest person, but the one they saw everyday, didn't show a hint of what he had gone through in the past. Maybe, McGee wondered, that was why Tony seemed to play the fool, so people wouldn't think too much what he was like underneath.
"But he could have information important to the case, how can you just disregard that." Kate was fuming now.
"You tell me, Agent Todd, you're the profiler aren't you? Why don't you go and ask him yourself?" when she didn't answer and moved to sit back down from the standing position she'd been in, Gibbs figured as much. "There we go then, now get back to work." He almost shouted, causing McGee to jump a little.
A shouting at she could take, but the dig at her qualifications nearly caused her to shout back at him. Knowing that would doom her career she sat back down, after all, now she replayed the conversation in her mind, what she said did seem a little harsh and wasn't really looking out for her fellow agent and friend. Biding her time she remained silent and got back to work.
Across the floor, all that could be heard was the light chatter of people on the phones and the click-clacking of people typing away on their keyboards. This having only been achieved because Tony wasn't there to distract them, but then, he hadn't really been driving people to distraction recently anyway, well he did a little, but everyone could tell that his heart hadn't been in it completely. For the most of them, it made them wonder what Gibbs had done to the senior field agent, I mean he was known for living up to the second 'B' in his name.
The working atmosphere remained for the rest of the day; some would leave to get food but would come back to an uneasy feeling that hung in the air. It wasn't that they didn't like being able to work, it was just that, when it was quiet then something was wrong, or something bad was going to happen. They could almost sense it. The slithers of the sun filtering through the window did nothing but cause the uneasy atmosphere to become eerie.
It being the end of the day, many agents left for home, hoping that it would be back to normal tomorrow. The only agents left were the number one team, minus the usually very self assured Tony DiNozzo. After Tony had been down with Abby for more than a couple of hours, Gibbs had gotten a little worried so called down. It had turned out that the list hadn't yet given them anything to work with. Also, due to a week or so with little sleep, Tony had fallen asleep in Abby's lab. Knowing the rest of the team could handle it, Gibbs let Tony sleep as much as he could. A case like this was both emotionally and mentally draining, never mind the effects lack of sleep had on the body and brain.
Looking tiredly at the time he realised that they had been at it for twelve hour straight, "Alright, go home, we can start this back up in the morning." Both McGee and Kate simply nodded, turned their computer off and left the bull pen.
After waking a groggy Tony up, he'd proceeded to take Tony to his apartment to get some things that he'd need for the next couple of days, hopefully they could catch the guy, if only to put Tony as easy. Gibbs hadn't missed the way Tony had been looking over his shoulder walking into his apartment building, he briefly wondered whether he should go with him but put that thought aside at the look Tony had sent him before getting out of the car. Tony's own car was safely parked back at headquarters, having left it there the day before.
Looking at his watch, Gibbs noticed that Tony had been gone over twenty minutes. How long did it take to get some things together? That was when he gut churned with worry again, something was wrong.
x-X-x
Tony's apartment about 20 minutes ago…
Closing the door behind him, Tony took a few deep calming breaths to settle his nerves. He had been to Gibbs house before, but this time he knew that he was going to be watched like a hawk. He could only hope that Gibbs lay off the questions for tonight, just going through the case and the list again had drained most of his energy. Not even the nap he had taken in Abby's lab had done anything to get rid of the exhaustion pushing him to his brink, beyond his limits.
Maybe, Gibbs was right, maybe, he shouldn't be on this case; it wasn't like he'd be any use anyway. After witnessing the murder his mind went blank, he couldn't even remember how he had made it to the hospital afterwards or how he'd escaped from that cold and damp basement.
Moving around with the easy of an elderly person, Tony groaned a little as a headache started to take up residence behind his eyes. Rubbing his forehead to ease the ache, he started to search for some Tylenols. Upon reaching his nightstand his vision fuzzed a little and his legs felt a little like jelly, shaking his head to clear the dizzy spell, it only increased the headache. Great he seemed to be getting ill rather rapidly or maybe, is was the fact that he hadn't actually ate much all day. Shaking off the dizzy spell he continued to pack some essentials and clothes into a duffle bag.
Switching the light on in his bathroom only proved to intensify his headache, he stumbled over to the toilet, the movements causing the daggers in his brain further in. one small movement was all it took for his stomach to rebel and expel it's contents. After finishing he realised that this had come on too quickly to be any illness that he'd heard of, something was wrong. He needed to get out of his apartment and fast, he didn't quite know why but it was just a feeling.
Not really firing on all cylinders he fished his phone out of his pocket and stumbled back out of the bathroom, making it as far as the living room/kitchen before the weakness in body drove him down again. Not knowing that he'd actually already pressed the speed dial for Gibbs he left the phone where it had fallen and started moving again. He could only hope that Gibbs would be able to help him as he had no idea what the hell was going on…
TBC
Woo we have some action, so who can guess what is happening? Will Gibbs get there before time runs out? Thanks for reading and waiting patiently for this chapter, it just wasn't sounding quite right and I did quite a bit of research to get this as accurate as possible. Have fun and please let me know what you thought. Oh if you want something short and cynical then by all means read the one I called 'Solace in the Dark' hehe thanks again for reading and I will try no to make you wait too long for the next chapter.
