Performance Report 1


You see, I was just flying in the sky like any law-abiding citizens of Konoha. But then, pitch black darkness swallowed the whole world and I found myself floating in a dark void. Again.

"Hello Haios, time for your performance report!" A dark voice echoes from the void.

I exhaled a breath of frustration. "It's five chapters already?"

"That's right, so now let's address a couple of matters..."

"Can't we do this BS tomorrow? I'm in my way to a hospital you know!" I exclaimed in annoyance.

"Not a chance girl, besides time is relative! You haven't move an inch in the real world."

I pouted and folded my arms in front of my chest. "Fine, did I do good?"

"Well, there are some concerns over the fact that you announce your status as an immortal to the whole world."

I gritted my teeth and glared at the void. "IN THE LAST WORLD YOU TOLD ME TO ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH! NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME TO LIE?" I yelled out with all my might.

"Tone down the caps will ya? The last world was Equestria and this ain't nothing like Equestria. Besides, I never force you to be a good guy. Go kill Naruto in his sleep, pledge your alliance with the big bad, activate the doomsday machine. I don't care! As long as you discover who you are as a character."

I sighed and closed my eyes in frustration. "No, I'm fine with being the Good Guy... Just, don't make my life hell creator..."

"You know I can't promise you that..."

"Fuck you!"

"Language lady! Now you have two unread message, do you want me to read them?"

I nodded, it beats hearing the creator's rambling. "Sure"

From Nivellia Neil:

If Haios constantly announces that she is immortal, [REDACTED] chance to know it will be even greater. I'm increasingly anxious to imagine what [REDACTED] will do in the [REDACTED]. And I'm dying to see the relationship between Haios and Sasuke flourish before the [REDACTED] begin. Perhaps if they had a strong bond, Sasuke would not [REDACTED].

"Why so many redacted?" I asked in confusion.

"Spoilers"

"Well, Nivellia, (can I call you that?) I don't think my relationship with Sasuke will flourish more than Best Friends. I mean, I am an immortal and being immortal means that he will be dead long before I will. Especially with the crazy strong plot armor The Creator equipped me with." I explained. "So, I'm very sorry if you ship us both, but I don't think it's possible."

"Well... Anything can happen! You can fall in love with him and get your heart broken when you failed to save him."

I flipped off the void with my middle finger. "Next!" I exclaimed in annoyance.

"I think immunity to Chakra is a blessing. Greatest blessing ever!"

"Really? Oh cool! I was almost worried that it will screw me over in more ways than one."

"I think you nerfed Haios too much..."

"YES! YES I AGREE 100%, THE CREATOR NERFED ME TOO MUCH! I used to have freaking Force Lightning, Light Speed Reflexes. Heck, I used to be able to see things in Slow Motion!

"I don't want you to get used to become a Mary Sue."

"Now for the next message."

From Thomas Drovin:

I see that Haios is going to not only be a new neighbour to Naruto but what he REALLY needs...a good friend. I'm happy that she's ALSO going to help Naruto discover other things to eat OTHER than Ramen, having Naruto try and make his OWN Ramen is a great idea. Mixing it with other foods even more brilliant!

I smiled a little after hearing that message. "Aww, thanks Tom! I know very well that Naruto needs a good friend in his life."

As for Kakashi and Iruka they have every right to have suspicions about this new girl, she IS observant about Naruto I'll give you that. However she IS there to learn...and I have a feeling she'll catch on fast once she gets the hang of things.

"I hope so! Because I have a feeling that things are going to escalate quick and I really have to keep up."

Well...it seems that Haios has made an impact at the Academy with Sasauke of all people, that won't make his 'fangirls' happy...ie Sakura and Ino. Still she has made it clear that due to her immortal status having friends is difficult as they age and die and she doesn't. I can't blame her for that...PERHAPS her creator can ALTER her in a way? May I suggest she can still be immortal but she ages like a regular person, if she wants to learn why not learn an entire LIFETIME for a mortal? Can't hurt can it? Learn about friends, love, family etc.

"My creator doing something nice to me? HA! Not gonna happen buddy!"

I THINK that you should only meddle and interfere with what's happening to Haios if its NESSECARY, or she's in a situation she can't handle herself. If she's to learn she'll have to learn to make the occasional mistake from time to time.

"Oh and uh, I think I need to clear up a common misconception."

"You see, The Creator is an Asshole." I pointed out. "He's not here to help me. He's here to make my life hell." I sighed and shook my head. "I think what he meant by meddle and interfere is 'Screw me over with some unexpected bullshit' instead of actually helping me. So please don't give him any ideas, I am really liking how everything goes now."

"Actually, I have an idea!"

"See? I told you he's an asshole."

"I see that Haios as found out about what makes Naruto so special, and because of that secret she has to keep her mouth SHUT about it. I feel she SHOULD be able to keep her secret...it is ANOTHER learning experience. Never trust ANYONE unless they give their ABSOLUTE word on something, or are THREATEND like the Hokage did to her. Not that he'd be able to kill Haios...locking her up might be an option HOWEVER being immortal means that threats to lock her up or kill her carry no weight. *chuckles*

"Well, yeah he cannot kill me, but that doesn't mean he cannot Severely-Injure-me-to-the-point-where-I-cannot-do-anything-but-think-about-cats. Also, being locked up sucks and I really don't enjoy that."

As for Naruto HOPEFULLY he'll learn NOT to drag Haios into his troubles due to his pranks. He can't always go to her to help, a good ninja needs to learn how to cope when no help is avabialbe. Still at least he learnt when to quit when sparring with Haios.

"Don't worry, I'm not planing on spoiling him or anything. He also seems to not be the type to rely on people too much."

I see that Haios decided to take Sasuke up on his offer and do a bit of training with him, she SERIOUSLY defended herself against him with a SPORK?! Well that's a different way of defending herself...I'm not sure anyone will take her seriously if she did that in a battle...but perhaps that's the I see that because of that spar Sasuke ACTUALLY enjoyed himself...their MIGHT be hope for him yet.

"Oh yeah! The Glorious Spork of Awesome! Well it's simple really, a spork isn't a weapon. So I can carry my Spork around and kick some ass when things escalate."

Don't forget to think about my little idea for Haios will you? See can still BE immortal but allow her to grow and EXPERINCE a life time like others. Then she can 'reset' as it were...growing and aging is the best learning...even if you are immortal. Cheers!

"Tom, if only you were my creator... But alas, my creator is a dick and he won't give me a chance to spend more than enough time in a single world."

"And that is the end of his message..."

"Since our dear Thomas has this brilliant idea of making you learn about friends, love, family etc. I think I know exactly what I'm going to do with you."

"Wait, you're actually going to turn me into mortal?"

"AHAHA! NO! I'm an Asshole remember? What I'm going to do is that I am going to remove your empathy shield."

It took me five seconds to realize what he's going to do to me. "I hate you, you know that right?"

"I love you too..."

Suddenly I felt something being lifted off me. The faces of both Sasuke and Naruto slowly seep into my mind. "My god... I need to be really careful..." I muttered to myself.

"Yes, careful now little Haios. I just gave you the capability to fall in love."

"FUCK YOU!" I yelled out. "Now that I know about it, I can be extra careful and make sure both Naruto and Sasuke stay deep inside the Friend Zone."

"Unless of course, you forgot about this encounter..."

"Oh you motherfu-"


CN: Well, that was fun...

The next Performance Report will be Five Chapters away. In the meantime, ask all the questions why don't you? I'm sure Haios won't mind to answer them. Maybe I can answer them for you if you want.

Also, no. I won't turn her into a mortal. Why? Because why not?