Pairing: Ace/Marco
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The entire ship brimmed with excitement. Ace could hear people joking about meeting the Whitebeard Pirates, awe and intrigue in their voices. And why shouldn't they react that way? The Whitebeard Pirates were living legends, with or without Whitebeard. They were so carefree though, and Ace had snuck back into the kitchen with growing irritation, huddling in a corner and drawing his knees up to his chest.
It wasn't that he didn't want to see Marco or any of the others. His heart soared at the thought of seeing his division and companions, but it also hurt to think of them. Ace had left them on a whim, ignored his captain's orders, ended up captured, caused an all-out-war where their captain had been killed and then…
Ace took a shaky breath. He'd abandoned them. Sure he could argue his death was hardly avoidable and not his own fault, but the truth was Ace still felt it was his fault. He'd died, leaving them for years, and there was no way someone like him deserved to walk back home simply. He'd caused so much suffering, so much anguish, and there was no way Ace could fit back into the life he had before.
He knew he didn't exactly have a choice how he was welcomed home; Ace wasn't so naïve to think he could control that. They would shower him with love, Ace knew, because that was simply how the Whitebeard Pirates did things. They would forgive him (or rather, tell him there was nothing that needed forgiving), and life would move on. It would be wonderful, but it wasn't what Ace deserved.
There was a moment of silence, and then the entire boat rocked, and Ace knew a platform had been bridged between the two ships. He let his knees slide to the floor, heart racing as he looked towards the door, breath coming quickly. There was nothing Ace could do to stop it, and he sat there in panic, slowly losing himself to chaos. The image of fire blazed in his mind, and Ace could feel himself burning up, insides charring as Akainu hovered behind him and-
"Ace!" Luffy called, barrelling through the door. He slammed it behind him, the noise jarring Ace, and whatever Luffy had been about to say died as he hurried over, couching before Ace.
"Do you want me to tell them to wait?" Luffy asked, voice low and full of concern. His fingers brushed Ace's shoulder gently, and Ace felt himself calm, Luffy's wide eyes and gentle expression reminding him that they had lived, that he could do this and be okay.
"I'm fine," Ace said, moving to push himself up. He brushed himself down, holding a hand out to pull Luffy up. Luffy grinned, bouncing upwards, and Ace felt the chaos fade completely. He exhaled slowly, clapping Luffy on the back.
"It's been too long since I saw them," he said with a smile, and the darkness inside of him receded. Ace felt anticipation bubble in him, and whatever he deserved, whatever would happen, he wanted to see his family.
The outside had returned to its commotion, and Ace paused by the door. Luffy was a step behind, a reminder that he could do this, and Ace opened the door, stepping out slowly.
Nothing really changed. Ace had almost been expecting the entire ship to fall silent, but no one paid mind to them. Conversation kept flowing, cheers kept ringing out, and Ace could hear many of the crew around calling out how much they respected the Whitebeard Pirates.
"They know how much this means," Luffy said quietly, voice pensive as he smiled, waving as they walked forwards. "And they respect that."
Ace pressed his lips tightly together, boots heavy on the wooden floor. He was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, something that had long sleeves and covered his entire torso. It would probably be the most they'd seen him wear outside of the winter season – and even then it was hard to get Ace into proper clothes under a coat. He wondered if anyone would notice the change and knew they would. And they'd know the reason why.
There was a small semi-circle of people gathered by the platform between the boats, and the people parted to reveal a lone figure by the platform. His hand was on his hip, and he stood casually, smiling as he listened to someone by his side. He looked remarkably the same, open shirt and ¾ length trousers, though his sash was framed with gold now and there was an extra accessory hanging from his hip, a string of red beads Ace remembered very well.
Ace hadn't wanted to cry, but he stood there, eyes fixed on the beads at Marco's hip, and his eyes filled with tears. He clamped his bottom lip between his teeth, but it wasn't enough, and Ace felt warm tears roll down his cheeks. He tried to wipe them, but it was a futile effort for they were just replaced, his cheeks stained with regret, love, and relief.
He closed his eyes when he saw Marco move slightly, as if he'd only just realised Ace was there, and he heard the sounds of people moving away, leaving them to their privacy. Luffy was still at his shoulder, determination radiating from him, and Ace sniffed heavily, still trying to wipe his cheeks as his chest heaved.
"You can open your eyes," a calm, soft voice said, and Ace shook his head, ignoring Marco's words. He had no idea what Marco was feeling, but if it was any fraction of the mix of emotions Ace felt, he marvelled at how steady Marco had managed to keep his voice.
"Hey," Marco said, and Ace couldn't do it any longer. He opened his eyes, vision slightly blurred, a let out a warbled sound, throwing himself at Marco. He didn't care anymore what would happen, he didn't care if he was crying or laughing, didn't care whether he deserved this or not. What he wanted was Marco and his family, the last piece of his puzzle, the last piece he needed to feel whole again.
Marco's arms didn't move at first. He seemed to be frozen in Ace's embrace, hands moving slowly to grip Ace's back (as they had so many times before). For a moment, it was as if Ace was made of glass, ready to shatter under the slightest touch Marco made, and then Marco's head was buried against his neck, one hand cupping the back of his head and the other slipping to circle Ace's waist. He could hear Marco crying, full, wrenching sobs, and Ace felt another wave roll through him.
He was certain they looked pathetic, but it was one of the most wonderful moments of Ace's life.
When they parted, Luffy was smiling at them, and a huge cheer rose up from the mini-Moby. Ace laughed, wiping his eyes and standing straighter. Courage swelled within him, and he waved, moving past Marco to the side, taking in as many familiar faces as he could. It almost seemed as if the entire Whitebeard crew were pressed against the side, and Ace's lip wobbled as he fought more tears.
"I'm never going to stop crying," he muttered, ignoring Luffy's gleeful cackle at his words. Luffy could laugh all he wanted, it was always going to be the truth.
"Now who's the cry-baby," Luffy said, cackling again as he leant over the side, waving enthusiastically.
"We…" Marco said, and Ace turned around, eyes focusing on his tattoo. "We missed you so much."
"My brother, Sabo, he was the one who did it," Ace said, looking down to the ground. "He figured out a trick to the devil fruits and managed to get mine. Somehow that brought me back." He glanced at Marco, watching the breeze ripple the fabric of his shirt. There was a longing that rose in Ace's chest, and he half-turned to look back at the rest of their crew, a little smile settling on his face.
"Luffy, I need a piece of your vivre card," Ace said, and Luffy nodded, moving away, still grinning. Marco stepped up to take his place, and Ace inhaled deeply, not realising how much he'd missed this. However much he loved Luffy, however much he'd thought otherwise, this was where he belonged.
"We can stay longer for you if-" Marco began, but Ace shook his head.
"Luffy has his own journey, and I have mine." Ace nodded to himself, smiling as he saw those on board the mini-Moby celebrating already, bottles clinking and food going around. "He's going to Zō," Ace finished, and Marco shifted.
"Zō, eh," he commented, humming to himself. "They need to get a move on if they want to meet her."
It was so easy to pretend that nothing had ever happened, Ace realised. No one was pressuring him to do this or that, no one was running up to him demanding he pay for what he'd done, and no one expected him to be anything other than what he was. It was so easy to pretend the last three years hadn't happened, and Ace was okay to let that happen for now.
"I got it!" Luffy called, feet thumping on the floor as he re-joined them. He tore two squares off, nodding to Marco as he gave him one. Marco returned the nod, and Ace watched the exchange curiously. He'd never thought about Luffy and Marco having a relationship before, but they clearly respected each other, if not already friends. War changed everyone, Ace supposed, and then looked down at the vivre card in his hands, determinedly not thinking about the war.
"We will look after him," Marco said firmly, and Ace wanted to retort that he didn't need looking after for a moment. He paused, though, before the words escaped his mouth, and wondered if he really did need looking after.
Ace remembered explaining it to Dadan once before, about how sometimes he had such a rage inside of him, such a desire to protect, that he was blinded. His own safety hardly mattered, and it had led him to chasing Teach, tearing Teach down as much as he could, and then dying before Luffy. He couldn't allow his loved ones to be hurt, and perhaps Ace did need to be looked after, to think before he acted.
"Keep your head up, Straw Hat," Marco said, taking a step back. He was moving towards the platform, Ace realised, and he tucked Luffy's vivre card away, knowing it was time he returned home. "I'm sure we'll meet again soon," Marco promised, and he nodded to Ace, climbing up smoothly and crossing the platform, returning to the mini-Moby.
There was no pressure to follow Marco right away, but Ace felt his absence instantly.
"I'll see you soon," Ace said, and Luffy nodded, grinning widely. Ace felt tears prick his eyes as he stared at Luffy, not wanting to miss even the tiniest detail of his face by blinking. He nodded, smiling wide, and turned to follow Marco. It was time to return to his life, and he felt nothing but calm as his footsteps echoed across the wooden plank between the ships.
What seemed like hundreds of hands reached up to help Ace down, his crew and friends crying as Ace was hugged over and over. There were so many people here, so much support, and Ace laughed as much as he cried, a serene feeling settling over his shoulders.
This was where he belonged, it said. These people were the home he had settled with, made for himself. This was what he had fought for – a brother who was fighting to become the Pirate King, another brother who was fighting to change the world, and a huge crew who loved each other so much that they had become living legends.
There was a shudder, and someone asked if they were okay to sail. Everyone turned to Ace, but he simply nodded. It was time to go, time to face his final hurdles and come to terms with what had happened to him. It was time to accept and move on, no matter how horrifying that seemed.
But, for now, Ace could just bathe in the love his friends were smothering him in. There was a feast to get through, and the musicians were already tuning up to play Ace's favourites. For now, he could just relax in the knowledge that he'd finally made it home.
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There was a knock at the door, and Marco called for whoever it was to come in. His suspicions were proved correct when Jozu entered, stern silence filling the room. He didn't speak until Marco sighed, set down the papers he had been going through and turned to him, the light of the lamp illuminating them just so.
"You've been in here ever since he came back," Jozu observed, and Marco lowered his elbows onto his knees, resting his head in hands.
"Yes," he replied simply, though it didn't seem to satisfy Jozu.
"You've been hiding," he persisted, and Marco let his head fall lower, running his hands over his face.
"Yes," he admitted. There was no point in sugar coating it really- he had been hiding from Ace. "He's busy reacquainting himself. I have work to do. What do you want me to say?"
Jozu raised an eyebrow, and Marco sat up, moving back in his chair. He picked up the glass of rum on the table and took a deep gulp, sighing.
"I have so many thing I want to say to him. He's not okay, even a blind man could see that." Marco remembered the way Ace had felt in his arms, the way he had avoided his gaze, and knew that while Ace was clearly happy to be back, there was still so much they had to work through. "I don't know if I can help him, but I can't sit out there and pretend that everything is happy and normal."
Jozu grunted.
"All I want to do is keep him next to me. That's all I want. I want him to always be there, just so I know he really is here, that this isn't just an illusion." Marco swallowed, shaking his head as he gave a bitter laugh. "What kind of person wants to do that?"
"All of us want to do that, don't think you're so special, Marco," Jozu said calmly, and Marco looked at him, tilting his head to the side. He hadn't been thinking much of other people tonight, only of Ace and himself, and he felt a hint of shame creep up inside him. Things were so much bigger than just the two of them, of course he knew that, but his vision had narrowed to only Ace.
"I know," Marco said, "but I'm supposed to be the captain. I'm supposed to put everyone's needs before my own. I'm supposed to be out there pushing everything aside just for one night, and I can't even give Ace that."
Marco took another gulp of his drink. His head wasn't even hazy, and he wished he'd gone heavier on the drink earlier so that he could avoid feeling anything.
"We're sailing for one of our quiet territories," Jozu said, and Marco nodded. They'd discussed that, knowing that they would all need some time to recover. They'd planned to go to one of the sparsely inhabited islands, not much more than a hunk of rock that was of no interest to anyone else, and it would be a perfect resting point for them.
"He's been looking for you, you know," Jozu said, and Marco looked at him. "I told him you were probably working. He accepted it, but… he thinks we'll hate him. I can read that clear off of him."
Marco's eyes widened, and he reached for his glass again. He held it tightly in his hand, not drinking just yet. Of course he'd known how Ace would feel, it was so easy to predict, but he'd thought Ace would have this one night before anything else. He'd thought that, by removing himself, Ace could enjoy this night, relax before he thought too deeply about everything, and Marco wanted to curse himself. It hadn't been that long since he'd understood Ace, how could he have made such a misjudgement?
"He knows you're here is what I wanted to say. Knowing Ace, he's working his way up to coming here. I wanted to give you a heads up to stop being so maudlin and pathetic about everything." Jozu said it with a smirk, and Marco gave a smile. He was being pathetic, truth be told, and he was glad he had Jozu to call him on it.
"I'll keep that in mind," Marco promised, and Jozu left without another word.
In truth, Jozu had been warning him, and Marco respected that. He'd come to warn Marco that Ace was only just coping, and that he couldn't push things. Not that Marco would have in any sense, but Ace needed people looking out for him, and Marco was glad Jozu had come to tell him, even if it wasn't needed. They needed to support Ace, help him get through what had happened. They'd all had three years, give or take, to accept and move on. Ace had had less than a handful of weeks, and he'd been the one to die.
It took Ace a while to come to Marco's door, and by that time Marco had put away the paperwork and turned on the radio den den mushi, listening to some old songs on low volume. It was maudlin, as Jozu would put it, but it was something Marco had grown to enjoy. He loved to watch the sea from his window in the darkness of night, music on low to lull him into relaxation. Many times Marco had woken in an awkward position, glad that his devil fruit power eased any aches and pains gathered in the night.
Marco had just closed his eyes for a moment when he heard the door creak. For a moment, he wondered if Haruta had finished the forms he'd asked for, and then he remembered that Haruta was busy with the festivities. There was only one person it could be, and Marco watched from the corner of his eye as Ace sat on the bed on the other side of the room, lying down on his back without a word.
"Nothing feels like it's changed," Ace said a few minutes later. The candle on Marco's desk flickered, the wick coming to the end of its life, but he didn't move to light another candle. He didn't want to break the atmosphere that had fallen over them, their situation too precarious to upset.
"It's like I never fucked off to chase that bastard, like I never got caught, like I never fucking died, and like Oyaji…" Ace choked on his words, fist slamming down on the mattress beside him. "How can everyone be so calm about it?"
"We're not," Marco said bluntly, reaching into his desk cupboard and pulling another bottle of rum out. He sighed and moved over to the bed, clambering awkwardly over to Ace as he handed him the bottle he'd been using before. It still had plenty in, but a full bottle seemed a bit extreme for Ace.
"What do you mean you're not?" Ace demanded, taking the bottle and looking up at the ceiling.
"Half of us want to keep you locked up on the ship, and the other half want to chain themselves to you so we don't lose you." Marco paused. "Again," he added, and Ace's chest heaved as he inhaled sharply.
"Everyone's so happy," he said quietly, and Marco shuffled until he was lying down. His fingers itched to take Ace's hand, but the lines between them hadn't been drawn yet. Ace wasn't his, and he wasn't Ace's. He didn't have the privilege to take Ace's hand.
"We wanted to give you this night first," Marco said carefully, though he felt Ace stiffen. He could imagine Ace's panic, thinking that they were going to throw him to the sharks straight after. "We wanted you to remember what was good about being here, show you how much we love you." He faltered on the word love and hoped Ace hadn't noticed.
"And then?" Ace asked, sounding so, so tired.
"And then we wanted to help you. We wanted to work with you to try and understand what happened, to try and help you accept what happened and help us to support you." Marco turned slightly, so he could look at Ace. The bottle of rum rolled off of the bed, but it was still capped anyway so Marco let it go.
"I don't deserve this," Ace said firmly, stare focused on the ceiling still. He was gripping the rum bottle tightly, and Marco closed his eyes, frowning. He wanted to reach out, to hold Ace how he'd held him before, reassure him that everything would be okay, but there was so much distance between them.
"Do any of us deserve any of this?" Marco said softly, and he felt Ace freeze beside him. "We're all pirates, people who have all done terrible things. What do you think we did while you were gone? We fought and killed and destroyed is what we did. People took our land, and we killed them. We lost, we won, but we always fought. We're not innocent, neither are you, and who's to say who deserves what?"
Ace was silent for a long moment, his jaw working as he fought with himself. Marco let him, eyes drifting over the t-shirt Ace was wearing, knowing that there was something he was hiding from everyone under it, even himself. But that was okay – that was something time needed to cushion.
"I just want to be home," Ace said, and one of his arms rose to his eyes, covering them as his face crumpled. "I want everything to be okay again. I want everyone to greet me normally, I want everyone to depend on me and I want…" he trailed off.
The candle finally gave in, and the room fell into complete darkness. The moon shone through the window, but it wasn't much. Marco could see Ace's outline in the gloom, and it had been so long since he'd seen Ace like this. Sadness and almost overwhelming relief flowed through him, and Marco clenched his fists.
"I want you to be there," Ace said quietly, so quietly that Marco held his breath to be sure of the words. "I don't want you to be in here by yourself. Or if you are, I want to be with you."
Ace moved then, looking at Marco properly for the first time. He looked so different to how Marco remembered, and yet he looked exactly the same. His eyes were dark, and the light hardly helped, but there was a sparkle in Ace's eyes, so many questions and thoughts, and Marco felt his stomach drop. This was the Ace he'd fallen in love with so many years ago, the Ace who had been his friend and lover, the Ace who had captivated their entire crew. This Ace had never gone anywhere, not really, and Marco had been a fool for thinking Ace would have returned to them changed.
"I've missed you so much," Marco said, and he felt Ace's hand stroke his cheek. It was a hesitant touch, a question more than anything, and Marco closed his eyes, taking in a shaky breath as Ace's thumb stroked his skin.
"It feels like weeks to me," Ace admitted quietly, and he shuffled closer. Slowly, Ace pressed their legs together, still stroking Marco's cheek. The bottle he'd been holding was long gone, and Marco just hoped the cap had been on properly.
They fell silent, Marco trying to memorise every little detail about Ace he'd forgotten. How could he have forgotten the slight notch in one eyebrow he had, from the tiniest scar? It wasn't even visible unless you were up close, but it was as plain as day to Marco now. And how could he have forgotten the lop-sided triangle of freckles on the side of Ace's nose? What else had he forgotten?
Could he have forgotten everything? Three years was hardly anything compared to the rest of his life. What if he'd forgotten Ace completely?
It wasn't enough, and Marco moved his hand slowly, grazing the underside of Ace's arm.
"I-" Ace said hurriedly, cutting himself off. "Not my back. Please," he added, looking down, as if Marco would ignore him. Even without understanding why, Marco would listen to him, and he slipped his arm over Ace's waist, keeping his hand away from Ace's back as requested. In return, Ace let his hand fall, shuffling until he was tucked against Marco's chest and under his chin, fingers tracing the mark on his chest.
"It's selfish of me," Ace said, voice slightly muffled by their positions. Marco didn't dare move, though, wanting to hear everything Ace had to say. He never wanted to miss another word. Three years was too long to go without hearing Ace, and he never wanted to live through that again.
"I was so happy when I saw you at… that place," Ace said, and Marco moved his head slightly, an encouraging gesture. He remembered how bold they had been bursting out of the waters at Marineford, and the honest shock on Ace's face. It was as if he'd almost believed they would leave him to it, but they'd shown him, proved that there was nothing on the ocean that would stop them from protecting their own.
"We'd do it all over again if we had to," Marco said firmly, and he heard Ace mumble to himself.
"I know you would, and it scares me so much." His hand curled up against Marco's chest, right above his heart. "I can't stop you, I know that, but I don't think I'm as strong as the rest of you. I don't know if I'd be able to handle losing someone I loved."
Marco understood. There was no need to reply, and they were silent for so long that he wondered whether Ace had fallen asleep.
"Can I hold you?" Ace asked suddenly, and Marco nodded instantly. It was never a position they'd gone for before – Ace had always laughed and said he preferred to be the one being hugged – but Marco knew that this was important. He remembered Akainu standing behind Ace and he knew there was a very real possibility Ace thought about that constantly.
"If you need anything, just wake me up. The others know you're here so they won't bother us. Jozu can run the ship for a morning," Marco said, rolling over. Ace's arms were firm as they slid around him, his head burrowing against Marco's.
"Thank you," Ace said softly into the darkness, and then his muscles relaxed and his breathing evened out.
It was almost unbelievable, but Marco felt a sense of comfort and incredulity as he closed his eyes. Ace was back, and while he was far from healed, together they would make small steps towards their future. And even if Ace could never fully face what had happened to him, Marco would always, always be there for him.
Three years was nothing compared to the lifetime they had ahead of them, after all.
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