A/N: Don't own Twilight…may have been forgetting the disclaimer. The beta'ing for this whole fic is courtesy of the amazing Mynxi, my Treacle. That should make more sense later on…lol. I'm supposed to be doing housework in between helping to plan the funeral. The planning I'm doing…the housework? Not so much. Nothing like reformatting a chapter to help you lay on the lazy side of things. Review replies will be coming, probably when I supposed to be cleaning the bathroom. Tell me to get my arse in gear will you? I need the pushing…
"Then why are you risking your neck to...what the hell are we doing anyway? I'm pretty sick of being manhandled, or should I say vampire handled?" But then I had a thought that I really didn't want to linger on, "Oh fuck Emmett, you've not gone all 'Irina' on me and joined Edward and Alice have you?"
It felt like the right thing to ask after everything that had happened today, but it was still a ludicrous thought. Wasn't it? Emmett hadn't answered me yet, his face had turned grim and when he turned to look at me I saw him as a vampire for the first time. All signs of my jovial ass of a big brother had gone. He was scaring the hell out of me.
"Em?"
B~E~L~L~A
He was still just staring at me, no emotion in his face, all illusion of humanity gone and a predator left in its place. I knew my bottom lip was beginning to quiver; Emmett was always a jovial figure, the joker. Intelligent, an absolute whiz with computers, and he always had a smile for me. Not this time. No, right now he was still driving at breakneck speed down a one lane road and just staring at me. Still not answering my question.
"Emmett?" I repeated, my voice shaking.
His face broke and he grinned like a lunatic, throwing his head back just as he took a blind corner, and laughed so loud that it hurt my ears and vibrated the windows. He still hadn't said anything, just slapping the steering wheel, still laughing.
"Oh Bells! You crack me up; you should have seen your face! You seriously thought I was taking you to Ginger and the munchkin?" he asked, finally turning back to the road.
He was messing with me. Fucking, messing with me.
"You unimaginable bastard, I cannot believe that you just did that!" I was seething; white hot, scalding steam coming out of my ears, rage.
"Classic, that was a classic." His voice had gone all high pitched and strained with laughter. Fucker. He glanced at me and noticed that I was still not finding the funny in this situation. "It was a joke Bella, I stopped when I saw you were about to cry."
"Oh, well that's alright then, pardon me for getting scared when you did your damndest to make me believe that you'd gone to the dark side! And don't believe that shit about cookies, either."
That got him laughing again, "Dark side? Is Vlad or Stephen going to turn up and announce himself as my father? Or will Yoda appear and give me some garbled, but sage, advice?"
"I hate you so much right now, Emmett. You have no idea."
"Bella, develop a sense of humour! Besides, there's no Kate around here for you to zap me with. So you're shit out of revenge ideas."
"Oh Emmett, sweet naive Emmett," I scoffed "I don't need to exact revenge right this second, actually I had been thinking about getting to know Jane better. Braid each other's hair, swap make up tips, talk about annoying as hell boys."
I had started off all sweet and sing song, then as Emmett's eyes grew wider, my voice grew smugger. In the end I was tempted to do a dance in the front seat. Gottcha.
"Alright, alright, there's no need to resort to such measures. I am truly sorry for teasing you, or you know, scaring the shit out of you. I just couldn't resist it; you more or less threw the ammo at me."
Shaking my head, I turned from him and realised that we had parked. Emmett was out of the car and helping me out before I had time to ask where the hell we were. We were in a small car park, behind some buildings. I had no idea where he might have taken me.
"You might need this," he said as he passed me what turned out to be an ID.
"According to this, my name is Horatio Stoneman and I'm twenty-five?" I asked out of confusion and sniggered in amusement at his alias.
"Oh, that would be mine." He swapped me for another ID.
"Belinda Carlisle? Is there anything that isn't a joke with you?"
He looked genuinely hurt, "Hey, I picked that out myself. This way I still get to call you Bells."
I studied him for a second or two, "Well come on then Horatio, where are we?"
"We, my dear Bells, are at The Royal Oak."
"The Royal Oak?"
"A pub."
"A pub?"
"Are you just going to repeat everything I say?"
Oh, the temptation is strong, Emmett, the temptation is strong.
"Why have you brought me to a pub, Emmett?" I chose to ask instead.
"The other's may not have caught on, but you're in some dire need of some downtime. R and R, no training, no meditation, no worries. Some time for you to hakuna your tatas…and I pretty much want to see you drunk." He shrugged, and all of my previous ire melted away, the big oaf was being thoughtful. "So I figured this was the best place for it. You are about to get a taste of what Ramsbottom has to offer. According to the locals, and yes I have been out and about, this is a friendly establishment. Also," he began, holding the door open for me to step through, "I found out that 'Ramsbottom' doesn't actually mean a sheep's butt, apparently it means wild garlic valley."
Emmett's particular brand of immaturity had been showcased over his reaction to living in a village named Ramsbottom. Hilarious seemed such an understatement when describing his amusement. Until Carlisle had to put a stop to it, he had refused to refer to it as anything other than 'sheep's ass'.
Personally, the amusement had worn off after about five minutes, so finding out that it actually means wild garlic valley was much funnier to me. A bunch of vampires living surrounded by garlic? It's a damn good thing that the books and movies have the whole vampire lore wrong. But all of that is moot, because my moron of a vampire big brother has lost his damn mind.
"You should really take me home, Emmett." I sighed, feeling bad because he was truly trying to help me, bad because he was going to get his ass kicked by Jasper when we did get back, and bad because of, well, everything else.
Then he pulled out the big guns, making like the cat out of 'Shrek', all sad and soulful eyes and a pout that'd put a two year old to shame.
"Awe, Em, fine! One drink, no alcohol and for god's sake put your puppy dog eyes and dimples away!"
He didn't.
"One alcoholic drink, that's all I ask." He pleaded, even pursed his pout a little more. Jesus, he just batted his eyelashes at me.
How is it that this man has terrorised me and taken the piss, still managed to get me to agree with him?
I sighed, defeated, "Fine, one drink. But that's it, ok?"
"Scouts Honour."
"Were you ever actually a scout, Emmett?"
"No idea," he said and led me further into the pub.
J~A~S~P~E~R
Emmett is a dead man. Nothing but a walking, talking pile of ashes. He kidnapped Bella. I am gonna kill him. He took her without telling anyone. I am gonna kill him. He hasn't answered his phone since they left. I am gonna kill him. What the fuck must have been going through his head to make his idea seem like a good one? I'll never know. Mostly because I am gonna kill him.
Peter and I had barely gotten far enough out of ear shot before he swore and started back for the house, shouting at the top of his lungs for Emmett not to be a dumbass. It only took us seconds to get back, but that was long enough for Emmett to grab Bella, shove her into his Range Rover Sport and drive off to god knows where. I would have been right on his fucking ass, but Peter grabbed me and assured me that they would be fine and for me to deal with this when they got back.
I'm not happy.
I distracted myself by taking away his favourite toys, sure he would be able to buy a new snooker table, air hockey table, and dart board, but fuck me if it didn't make me feel better to break them. The look on his face would definitely be worth it. He will also be on the receiving end of a punishment that I've come up with just for situations like this. Emmett has trouble remembering not to be as prick; let's just say that he won't be playing any games anytime soon. It never failed to amaze me when he pulls shit like this; he's incredibly intelligent, even for a vampire, but he has zero fucking common sense.
I have a ton of shit that needs to be taken care of and, unfortunately, I'm not talking about keeping Bella in bed for a week. Not that that isn't something that needs to be done, done well, and done soon. I have a plan involving a complete lack of clothes, and a whole slew of energy bars/drinks on hand to keep Bella's strength up. I wouldn't want her passing out on me after a couple of hours, now would I? Not that any of this is helping with my frustration levels.
However, finding as many different ways as possible to have Bella scream my name out in ecstasy wasn't what had prompted my need to talk to my brother. No, Bella's reaction when she thought Renee and Phil were dead showed me something that I had been waiting for. But, on top of Bella and Emmett's impromptu night out, our visitors had arrived and there was no time for Peter and I to have our private chat.
Carmen and Tanya were with Eleazar and Kate, over at the compound and no doubt filling each other in on Irina's defection, while our other guests where either still stuffing themselves or sleeping off the effects of full stomachs. Bella's gonna shit a brick when she gets back and sees who is here. And then there will be yet more explaining to do.
Pulling my phone out for what felt like the millionth time tonight, I tried Emmett's cell again. I nearly yelled my thanks to god when he actually answered.
"Hey, Bro, how's it going?" he answered as if all was right with the world. Fucking ass.
"Don't 'Bro' me, you prick, how the fuck do you think it's going? Bring her back. NOW!" It was all I could do not to crush the phone in my hand out of anger.
"Unbunch your panties, I'm trying to get her in the car as we speak."
"Oh, Emmett, stop manhandling me, you brute!" I heard Bella say, slightly slurred, in the background and then she started giggling.
What the fuck?!
"She's drunk?" I ground out. I don't know why the hell I was so surprised. I rubbed my free hand over my face and through my hair; I can't believe he got her drunk.
There was a pause, "I wouldn't say drunk, per se..."
"Emmett! I don't wanna go back yet, take me out...oh, take me dancing!" Dancing?
How much has she had, to make her actually want to dance?
"Pick her up and put her in the damn car."
"It's easier said than done; she keeps wiggling, and distracting me when I try. You heard her before." Wiggling? What the fuck. I don't even want to know.
"Just. Do. It."
"C'mon Bella, be a good girl and get in the car." Emmett attempted to cajole Bella.
"What if I don't want to be a good girl? What then, Emmy Wemmy?"
More giggling. I looked skyward and wondered if it might be for the best if he didn't bring her back right now. No, she needs to sleep or go through detox or something.
"Jesus Emmett, she's 110lb soaking wet. Pick her up and put her in. It's not rocket science!"
"Listen, man, I'm telling you…she's wiley. I don't wanna hurt her accidentally or-"
"Em? Emmett? Emmett?" It was a testament to my level of rage that I didn't find Bella's persistent repetition of his name funny.
"What is it, Bella?"he sounded thoroughly exasperated, served him fucking right.
"You don't have to take that tone with me; I was only asking a question."
"You didn't ask a question, Bella, you just repeated my name over and over again."
"Because you were ignoring me, you stupid...stupid! And don't you talk to me like that, I thought we were enjoying ourselves and you have to go and ruin it."
I heard tears in her voice and was stuck between wanting to tear Emmett a new one and feeling sorry for him at having to put up with an obviously over emotional and drunk Bella.
"No, no, Bella, don't cry. Not again, come on, what was your question?"
Again? Why the hell has she been crying in the first place?
"You know that saying 'my nipples are so hard they could cut glass'?"
Oh, Jesus H Christ, where the hell is she going with this? Emmett must have nodded or something because she just carried on.
"Well, you vamps are all hard and stuff...do your nipples actually cut glass? Would you try for me, or Rose? She has a hell of a rack; it would be much easier for her to do it. Or maybe Charley, yeah...her boobs are awesome and she actually likes me."
The room filled with laughter at her words, Rose look horrified and glanced at her breasts, but then just raised an eyebrow and shrugged; Charley was laughing her ass off and asking Peter if they should try it out for her. Esme just looked startled, but was radiating curiosity and Carlisle was looking anywhere but at me, the fact that he was radiating all kinds of amusement told me it wasn't out of embarrassment. I was just sick of this shit.
"Emmett, stop fucking talking about fucking nipples and put her in the fucking car and get her the fuck home, right the fuck now!"
"Hey, I didn't start the nipple conversation, it's not my fault she has a boob obsession. You should've seen her with the barmaid, that girl had a whopping pair. They were amazing really, they were completely natural but she had the tiniest waist and a great ass..."
Did I want to tell him that his wife could hear everything he was saying? Nope, let him dig his own grave.
"Jasper, you might want to tell him that she's about to run for a taxi," Peter called from behind me. Emmett heard Peter, shouted, and then the phone went dead.
"Damn it!" I shouted and threw the phone against the wall.
"She's fine, Jas, he caught her. They're on their way back now." Peter assured me, putting his hand on my shoulder, "Don't be too hard on him ok? She's put him through the ringer tonight; trust me that he regrets his decision."
I patted his hand, "Easy? I'm taking his thumbs and hell will freeze over before he gets his them back, let him try to play 'Halo' then."
He laughed, "Oh, I know, I know. You'll be able to hear them soon."
I nodded and went outside, Bella was chatting away and I could feel Emmett's apprehension and irritation from here.
"Emmett, you know I love you right? I really enjoyed getting out and stuff. Really."
I smiled as Emmett's irritation wavered at Bella's words; it really is hard to be pissed at the oaf when Bella really does love him so much. Hard, but not impossible. The Range Rover pulled up and Emmett ran to Bella's door to help her out. Bella's emotions sky rocketed, annoyance topping the bill.
"Emmett, I can get out of a car all by myself you know. I wear big girl panties now and everything. They're lacy!" She giggled, again, and started towards the house, walking backwards and taking great pleasure in Emmett's obvious shock at her words. Naturally I was on edge to catch her. "I am going for a walk, alone. Ooh, I need my coat."
She still hadn't seen me, so when she spun around just before bumping into me she let out a loud shriek which turned into a giggle.
"Jasper! I missed you, Baby."
Then she threw her arms around my neck and used the leverage to jump up, wrap her legs around my waist and kiss me. I could taste the whisky and something with aniseed on her lips and tongue, the kiss was wet and messy, but it was all passion and I reciprocated in kind. Almost as sudden as she started, Bella stopped and hopped down.
"I've got to get my coat, see you in a bit." She gave me one last peck and walked past me into the house. I was left wondering if she had done that on purpose to distract me. Either way, she wouldn't be going for a walk, she will be going straight to bed.
I watched as she waltzed through the living room towards the kitchen and dining room, completely oblivious to those around her as she watched her feet. At least she was aware that she needed to be careful. Something must have caught her attention, because she stopped and look up and around. Shock emanated from her, tinged with embarrassment and to my horror, lust.
"Not that I'm complaining, but why are there..." she paused to count, "six, half naked, Native Americans sitting at the dining table?" I knew as soon as she saw him, her shock turned to disbelief, and again with the lust. "Jake? Jake, oh my god! What the hell are you doing here? And when the hell did you grow?"
She walked right over to him and I resisted the urge to pull her back from the young shape shifter, but I couldn't help the growl that escaped. Jake glanced at me and nodded; Bella spun around and blew me a kiss before jumping onto his lap. I watched as she was engulfed in a hug, Jake's emotions were much more than friendly, but I'm not stupid and I know he truly cares for her. Course it helped that Bella's emotions were purely platonic, even with the earlier spike in lust.
"Hey Bells, how're you holding up with all these bloodsuckers?" he joked. Kind of.
She hit him on his bicep still in his arms and winced, silly girl. "Why are you here? How? Why the hell are you so hot? Hmm...You smell all woodsy."
Ok, time to go. I ran forward and swept her into my arms, she laid her head against my chest and murmured that I needn't worry, that I smelled better. I told everyone goodnight and carried her upstairs, I had her on the bed and pyjamas in hand before she remembered the fucking walk she wanted to go for.
"Put those down, I need my coat not my pyjamas. I can't go for a walk in my pyjamas, Jasper. Honestly."
"Bella, you need to sleep, not go for walks. Get undressed."
She stopped and smirked, watching me from where she sat on her bed. "Oh, but I don't want to undress myself." She started to crawl towards me, all fucking sultry, ass in the air and biting her lip over to where I stood at the end of the bed. She stood up on her knees when she reached me; we were both watching her hands as she started to play with the buttons of my shirt. "I want you to undress me," she looked at me then, through her eye lashes and still biting that god damn lip, "Don't you want to undress me, Jasper?"
Fuck, shit, and fuck again. This woman is gonna be the death of me. "Bella, you need to sleep."
She didn't look like she believed me, hell I didn't believe me. She kept eye contact as she trailed one finger down my chest and grabbed my cock through my jeans.
Je-sus.
"I don't want to sleep, I want to play. Don't you wanna play, Jasper?"
Then she squeezed me, fucking squeezed and then slowly rubbed up and down. Well, apparently an inebriated Bella is a forward and horny Bella. I grabbed her hand, fully intending to stop her, but all I ended up doing was holding her gently, still allowing her to move. It just felt so damn good, I was being undone by a human rubbing me through fucking denim. I couldn't wait to find out how it feels without the obstacles.
No, she's drunk and this is not the time. Morals, Jasper, morals.
"Hmm, you like that, Baby? Let's get you out of those pants, I want to see you." She began fumbling with the buttons, keeping up the movements with her other hand.
Yeah, baby, getting rid of the pants, good idea.
It was only when she had to stop rubbing me, which was a crime in itself, that my higher brain functions came back on-line. As much as I wanted to continue this, the fact that she was swaying slightly and fighting the giggles, kind of reminded me of her current alcohol level.
"Bella, stop." She ignored me; of course she fucking ignored me. "Bella, stop," I repeated, a little more firmly.
She froze, hands staying where they were and looked at me with wide eyes. I balked when I realised I could feel fear, worry, and inferiority coming from her. Fuck. How the hell was I supposed to make an obviously overemotional woman understand that I wasn't rebuking her advances because I didn't want her to...advance. But because she was wasted and may not even remember this in the morning.
Emmett, I am going to kill you. Slowly.
"Was I doing it wrong? I thought you were enjoying it, I've never done anything like this before, I don't know...but I thought you were enjoying it, you were purring,"
I was?
"And your eyes, I thought...I thought..."
"Bella, Bella, Sweetheart, you did nothing wrong, ok? It just isn't the time for this. I want to, trust me that I want to, but not now, ok? It really isn't the time and you need to sleep the drink off."
Apparently that wasn't the right thing to say.
Rejection, recognition, acute embarrassment, oh fuck...anger, rage, oh she was pissed. She threw herself off the bed, literally, I had to catch her. I let her go when she got all high pitched and started flailing her hands around and screaming at me to let her go. I couldn't see her face but I could smell her blood as it heated her cheeks and her tears as they spilled down her face. And fuck it all, did I feel like a bastard.
"Bella-"
"NO! No, I don't want to hear your excuses! It's always excuses! I thought you were different, I thought you found me attractive. I thought after what you did...earlier...that you would want me to reciprocate. But no...No, can't let Bella do anything, can we? Silly little human, silly little girl. I'm going for that walk, and don't you dare even try to fucking stop me!"
I was left standing in the wake of her screaming, still staring open mouthed at the spot that she had been before she stalked out of the room. I heard her stomp downstairs. I listened to her ignore anyone that tried to talk to her, her embarrassment spiking to new levels when she realised that everyone would have heard everything. She left her coat and ran outside, stumbling once or twice as she made her way across the lawn.
"Jasper, do you want me to go after her?" Esme asked, the sentiment echoed by Charley from where they sat down stairs.
"No, let her cool off first. Maybe sober up a little," I spoke as I walked downstairs.
Emmett was in the living room, engrossed in a four player game on the Xbox. Well, to anyone else he would look engrossed, the fact that I knew he was more than aware of my presence made me happy. His fear and apprehension, well that just made me even happier. I wasn't in the mood for words right now, and to be frank he had got Bella drunk, so in my mind it was his fault that Bella was currently crying her heart out in the garden. So, when I picked him up and threw him through the nearest window, out onto the drive, it was with a smile on my face.
I jumped out after him and was with him before he landed. I caught him by his neck and hauled him to his feet, due to his size I couldn't hold him off the ground, but I had no trouble throwing his over muscled ass into the trees that lined the driveway. This time I let him get to his feet, he was about to start yapping till he saw the barely controlled rage on my face. I went for him again, this time the fucker ran, leaping over the house and into the back garden. Towards Bella. That's Emmett, no fucking common sense.
"Someone make sure that Bella is out of the way."
I didn't wait for an answer; there was no way that they would leave her in danger. I followed Emmett and found him on his knees in front of the pile that had once filled the games room. Revenge is good.
He turned to me, "You killed the snooker table? The snooker table, Jas?" He looked around, "And the air hockey table? Oh...the dart board? What did the games room ever do to you?"
I raised my eyebrows, "This is the least of your problems, ask me when you're gonna get your thumbs back."
"Huh?" He looked down at his thumbs, finally giving me the 'thumbs up' with both hands, "What are you talking about, Jas?"
I sprinted forward and grabbed his thumbs, pulled and smirked as they snapped off. He was staring at me in pain, shock and anger and maybe a little bit of alarm, his hands still in the 'thumbs up' position, just minus the actual thumbs. His mouth was wide open; he was doing a good imitation of Bella's goldfish impression. I was still waiting for him to ask the question.
"When will I get my thumbs back, Jasper?" He finally asked, shoulders slumped.
"When you learn to act like the intelligent, 75 year old vampire that you are, and you learn that even though the sentiments may be right, that your actions need to be better thought out. This is the reason why you don't hold a rank in the guard above techie, Emmett; you don't think things through properly."
I turned and Peter was there, Ziploc baggie in hand and I passed him Emmett's thumbs for safe keeping. I took in the ambience and sighed. Emmett stayed quiet, good. So did Rose as she went to him, she also didn't glare at me or argue. Whether it was her good sense or fear that stopped her, I really didn't care. All I wanted right then was Bella. She was standing with Carlisle and Eleazar, Peter and Charley were on their way over to her. I felt sick when I took in her emotions. She was scared, terrified, sickened, and fucking guilt ridden. I should never have let her witness this.
I walked forward, slowly, not wanting to startle her by just appearing in front of her. She took a step back. She took a step away from me.
"Bro, just leave her be for a moment, she's wasted and she just saw you rip someone's thumbs off as if it were nothing. The fact that she thinks of that someone as a brother hasn't helped," Peter spoke at a level that Bella couldn't hear.
She was clutching onto Carlisle and whispering that she was sorry. It broke my heart; she was feeling guilty because she was scared of what I had just done. She still wouldn't look at me.
"Jasper," Carlisle's voice forced my gaze away from Bella, "I'm going to take Bella into the house and get her settled, take the time to calm down." He picked her up, cradling her against his chest. "This was just a shock for her. Let her sleep and talk through it with her in the morning. While some of her experiences with vampires has been traumatic, the majority has been on the better side of our nature. But this is something that she needs to understand."
With that he sped off towards the house.
I had never been so angry, so disappointed with myself. I picked up the two halves of the snooker table, only to have them snatched away by Charley and Kate, I hadn't even realised she'd gotten back. Then Peter was there commanding my attention.
He was shaking his head, "Bella is already scared and feeling guilty for her reaction, hearing or seeing you lose it will only make it worse. Get out of here, run, and hunt, tear up trees, whatever. Just get this shit out of your system away from Bella."
I hesitated barely a second before running off, away from Bella.
E/N: So, there you have it. No Evil Em...not that I wasn't tempted, lol. So, get clicking that magic link and let me know what you think! 2010.
2016: The chapter before this one still has my favourite cliffy ever. But I simply couldn't have Emmett be anything other than good. He's just one of those characters that, for me personally, shouldn't ever be the bad guy. Though, in the past few years and my growing love of the darker side of things, it could be so freaking hot to take it down that road in a future fic. Hmm…gotta love possibilities, right?
Leave me some love!
