The Queen's chambers were still being tidied. Anakin stood by the door in guard position, sweeping his eyes across the debris of wine bottles and silken hangings that had been tugged loose at some point. A young Zygerrian male had been leaving as he'd arrived and taken over the duty.
Except he had to do his duty on the inside of the door rather than the outside.
The Queen was at the mirror, being dressed and made up for the day, her eyes occasionally flickering over to watch his reactions. Today was green silks all edged with gold and it brought out the russet colours of her fur.
The idea of what he was about to say made him want to… he didn't know. Not do it seemed the simplist way to describe it. Hide from it, but there was Luke-
Luke.
His brave, stupid, wonderful eleven-year-old son.
Eleven.
An eleven-year-old who was willingly staying as a slave because he wanted to find his friend and save his father and who wouldn't leave. The boy had more than enough experience of hiding on ships and stowing away, more than Anakin ever liked to remember. His son could leave.
There were times he remembered Obi-Wan giving him the strangest look in the middle of lectures. Disbelief and frustration when Anakin did something stupid to save someone but there had always been something else that he couldn't quite figure out.
He thought he might know it now. Stars, how could you tell a child that their foolhardy actions to save someone made you so fiercely proud when at the same time you wanted to wring their neck for putting themselves in danger.
If his child could find the courage to stay where he was to try and help his friend, then Anakin could do this.
"What would I have to do in order to see Ahsoka properly?"
In the mirror, the Queen's gaze snapped to his. They stared at each other for long moments as Anakin tried to keep his breathing under control.
The Queen made a gesture and the females attending her dipped their heads and all filed out, leaving him dangerously alone with the Queen.
He didn't move as she stood, but did avert his eyes a little because she wasn't fully dressed and he didn't really know what to do with that. And then she was in his space and it was hard not to react. Harder still when she reached out to touch his jaw in a proprietary, considering manner.
Then a smile crossed her face. "A private audience with your former Padawan?" she asked. "That's a rather large risk for me."
"Hardly," he muttered. "The cuffs still hold, you have the shock collars. What could we possibly do?"
"I've heard stories." She circled him and he hated that he had to let her. Hated it more when her fingers grazed his back as she moved, like she was deciding what he could be good for.
"What do you think I will ask for?"
He wanted to snap at her to just get it done with. "Either to kill someone or…" he hesitated, not really sure how to phrase it.
"Or?"
He glanced at the bed and then straight ahead, a sinking feeling building in his chest.
The chuckle that came from her almost made him blink in surprise. "The male of the species needs to be more willing than you are currently," she said, coming around to face him again. "The Jedi really do teach you nothing about such matters?"
It was on the tip of his tongue to point out the way around such…issues, but he swallowed it back, annoyed at himself for almost helping her in this.
"We have time," she decided. "A kiss. That is what I want in exchange."
A kiss.
Unbidden, the image of his first kiss…the lake retreat, Padme in the dress that he was still mostly sure she might worn in an unconscious attempt to encourage to him…the cool breeze, both of them unsure and the moment of finally and rightness and it had been wonderfully…sweet. Like freedom and hope.
The Queen stared at him, waiting and he frowned, unsure why she wasn't moving.
Oh. She wanted him to…
For Luke.
To see Padme. To meet Leia and finally be able to picture her, to know her face and what she liked and if she took after Padme or him or... Stars, the moment he started to think about it his mind went into lightspeed thinking about all that he didn't yet know.
He needed to know. She was his daughter. His. And there were others that knew more about his daughter than he did.
Concentrate.
What needed to be done?
Free Ahsoka and find this friend of Luke's that had better be his best friend that he'd known for years.
And to do that?
He reached out a hand, the light catching on the cuffs and he ignored it, cupping her cheek. There was a triumphant smile on her face as he drew their faces together and then pressed his lips to hers.
There was a shock when she didn't respond the way Padme did. Of course she wouldn't, but he was so used to kisses being a certain way, or getting a certain response that it confused him for a moment. She made him do the work, coaxing at her as if she were the hesitant, unwilling one.
When he pulled away, she was watching him.
"Again," she decided. "Stroke my ears this time."
It took everything he had to keep the annoyance of his face. This time she guided his hands and let out a moan into his mouth as he stroked which made him want to pull away as fast as he could. She responded more this time, nipping at him occasionally.
She made him to do it a third time, this time without guidance.
"You are easy to train," she decided as she pulled away. "You may see your Padawan. And you will be here every evening."
That surprised him. He didn't quite manage to keep his startled look to himself and she smiled.
Xxx
Within an hour he was being escorted to the pits where the warriors entertained the Zygerrians by trying to kill each other and survive. It wasn't too often that he visited the pits, the Queen had other entertainments that she preferred, but he knew that it still went on regardless.
The sand within was being hosed down, the blood diluted to turn it into more of a rusty gold colour. Some slaves were scrubbing the walls and there were slavers making deals on the seated areas while enjoying some cool refreshments.
One day…
The escorts led him down underneath the pit and into the expanse of cells that they had for the warriors. Suspicious eyes watched as he was led down the path and towards a cell at the end.
Ahsoka.
She was already standing, gaze defiant and then surprised at the sight of him. He winked at her and she stepped back, shoulders relaxing a little but her gaze still watchful and wary.
They opened cell door and he stepped in easily. Then there was a murderous, suspicious glare from his escort before the male walked away, stomping like a sulking child.
He turned and grabbed at his Padawan, pulling her close and she responded instantly. Force knew what they looked like, clutching at each other as if they were both drowning.
"How you doin', Snips?"
He felt her nod and then pull back. "Are they listening?"
He shook his head. "But…I dunno. Some caution." He hesitated and then let out a breath. "I've bumped into a time traveller."
Ahsoka winced. "Is he all right?" she asked, not looking to surprised.
Anakin nodded. "I assume his friend told you."
"Kanan?" Ahsoka pulled a face. "They met a day before they were taken, I'm not sure they're-" she waved a hand. "That's not important," she muttered, almost to herself. "Can he…" she made a wavy gesture with her hand.
Like hell it wasn't important. "They've known each other for a day?" he snapped. "Force above," he snarled, and scrubbed a hand over his face. There was being brave and then there was just being a wilful minded idiot. "He…he could leave. That boy…"
Ahsoka didn't make any comment about that. "We have…the start of an idea. I wasn't sure how to get to you."
He looked around. Then made a hand movement with his hands, hiding it from view.
Ahsoka nodded, then made a gesture back.
Xxx
By the time he got to his room that night he was exhausted. And on edge.
And as much as he wanted to yell at Luke for sneaking in when he'd told the boy not to unless there was danger, he was relieved to have him there.
His son wasn't asleep. Instead, he sat behind the door, arms wrapped around his knees and watching him warily as if waiting to be told off. When Anakin stayed quiet, Luke crept forward to where Anakin sat on the bed and then stopped. He almost appeared to be thinking, bare toes flexing and then digging into the groves in the stone floor.
Sighing, Anakin reached down and then froze, hurt when Luke pulled back a little. "Are you okay?" he asked, scanning him for injuries.
Luke nodded sharply and then tucked his chin to his knees as he stared up. "There's…" Luke hummed a little. "There might be a problem."
Of course. "You need to be on the floor to tell me?"
Luke actually nodded then bit his lip. "It'll upset you," he murmured after a moment.
"I won't be angry with you," Anakin promised, feeling tired suddenly. "Just say it and get in and go to sleep."
"You…the…sometimes he's taken over my mind," Luke said, looking down at the floor. "I think he might be about to do it again. Well…" Luke huffed. "I can't figure it out," he admitted, turning those big eyes on Anakin.
There was a lot to decode there. "You mean…the future me?"
He watched as Luke bit his lip and looked unsure for a moment before the boy's shoulders slumped as if in defeat. "Vader."
Vader? He'd heard that word, he'd…
That first week that Luke had arrived. The nightmare that he'd had, where Padme had said it was as if their son was being choked and had screamed like he was dying. He could still see his son, tiny at seven, whispering the name with fear.
"Luke-"
"You turned," Luke said, still not looking at him. His words tumbling out in a muddle that was almost impossible to follow. "And…you didn't know who I was and you…he…sometimes when it's bad he takes over. Like when Mom was giving birth and… but…" Luke stared down at his knees now. "He doesn't like you. I don't understand… but…he has a plan and…all he cares about is me getting out."
Luke said the last like it was the worst thing he'd told Anakin and he stared down at his son, wondering exactly when his son would get it through his head that it was job to save Luke, not the other way around.
Then the rest filtered through.
He'd turned.
It didn't exactly surprise him. There'd been enough to make him wonder and the knowledge that Padme had died and the twins had probably been hidden would have meant that when he returned he'd have been half mad anyway. The death of his daughter as well…
But there was a burning humiliation there because his family knew it. Knew that he'd not managed to be the Jedi he'd wanted to be, that he'd failed.
Luke's back was curling over like a comma, as if he wanted to hide himself forever. And he needed to push it aside, all of his hurt and fear because his son was still looking worried and as if he had the world on his shoulders.
Anakin reached out to touch Luke's face with a gentle stoke, hoping to convey how calm he was as he sorted through Luke's earlier tirade again.
"What do you mean he takes you over?" he asked as Luke tilted and pressed into his hand a little.
"When Mom was giving birth, we were on Naboo during the invasion," Luke mumbled and Anakin had to strain to hear the words. "We were in an alleyway and the droids were everywhere and Mom was…" he looked up and pulled a face. "Dad, birth is gross," he said seriously.
Anakin bit back the snapped reply that he wouldn't know. And force alive, his wife had been in labour in the streets during a siege?
He stood, pacing and made a gesture for Luke to continue.
"It...I…there was a jedi with us. Eekar but he wasn't…they were everywhere." Luke almost sounded as if he were ashamed of what had happened. "But Vader…he took over and kept us safe."
"How?"
"I don't know," Luke whispered. "I don't remember it. A little…but…" he trailed off. "Mom says it's not good for me. It knocked me out and I didn't wake up again for ages."
Anakin paused at that. "How long is ages?"
"A week or two."
It had put Luke in a coma. And suddenly the worry became clear. "So…you're the only thing here that he cares about but… does he know what it does to you when he takes over?"
Luke nodded.
He knelt down by Luke and cupped his son's chin. "Can you speak to him?"
His son nodded and then winced. "He…he won't talk to you."
Of all the… "He does understand that we have the same priority?" Anakin snapped.
Apparently, his son relayed that because he winced not three seconds later.
"And?"
"He called you names," Luke said, sounding annoyed by it. "He doesn't like it that I call you Dad and like you better." Luke said it like he was winning an argument and Anakin wasn't entirely sure that the comment wasn't meant for both of them. Luke scowled suddenly and closed his eyes, apparently continuing the argument.
"There's a plan. The early hours of tomorrow," Anakin said firmly. "Will he interfere or can he help?"
Luke's blue eyes opened. "I locked him away," he said sounding tired. "He's…it makes everything confusing."
"Luke-"
"He won't answer," Luke huffed. "It makes my head hurt," he muttered.
It made his… Anakin resisted the urge to snarl and snap. It seemed like an endless parade of moments when he had to show restraint, had to be cautious and, for a dangerous second, he just wanted to scream and hit and do what he wanted rather than thinking of the consequences and waiting for the right moment.
It both helped and made it worse that Luke was watching and Anakin had no idea how to cope with that. He stared down at his child for a few seconds and then stood, walking away to…to no-where because he couldn't just leave.
He despised feeling so completely powerless.
"Go to bed," he said to the wall, not really recognising his own voice. Then, for a moment, there was no noise. Then an inhale as if Luke would speak and then the surprising sound of his son actually doing as he'd been told.
It was enough to make him turn around and look over curiously.
Luke was curling up under the sheets and was staring ahead, eyes a little distant. For a moment, Anakin couldn't quite distinguish it from the disassociated look that some slaves seemed to always wear but there were flickers of emotion on Luke's face as if registering a distant signal.
Luke was talking to the future version of him.
An odd jealousy bloomed over Anakin. Vicious and almost desperate. Luke was his son and yet a rearing terror whispered that it wasn't the case, that Luke was…he was Vader's. That they had a connection; force sakes, Vader was in Luke's head and knew what the boy was thinking and feeling and was whispering to him right now-
"Luke," Anakin whispered, kneeling by the edge of the bed.
His son blinked and fixed his gaze on Anakin.
It was hard to know what to say. He stroked the boy's hair and thought about the little boy that had turned up four years ago and turned his entire world inside out. It was as if Anakin recalled a different person, the man he had been who had stared at Luke as he would a stranger, who had been frustrated at the idea that he would have to care for this child who had wrecked all of his hopes.
Yet this was now the child he was kill for. Would die for. Would fall for and probably commit any manner of crime to ensure that Luke was safe.
Did his future-self feel like that? Had he done that?
"I love you," he whispered to his son. "You do know that, don't you?"
Luke nodded. But Anakin could feel his watchful gaze and knew that the boy was waiting for something else.
"Does he?" Force knew what made him ask.
Luke's eyes went a little distant and then he flinched. "He's angry now," Luke muttered. He drew in a long breath. "Virez said that the more I talk to him then the more power I give him." He stared up at Anakin as if waiting for confirmation or denial.
He had no idea, this was beyond what the Jedi had ever taught him about mental connections and the use of the force. "Are you afraid of him?"
His son was far too clever not to see how scared Anakin was of that answer. For a moment, Luke chewed on his lip and then sighed. "Sometimes," he admitted. Then he shifted his head against the pillow and seemed to think about it hard. "Sometimes it's like talking to you and he's…Mom says it's a dry wit. A bit…colder but fond and it's nice. Even when I'm alone, I'm not." Luke glanced up. "And then something happens and it's like a sand-storm battering in my head and I have to concentrate to make it fade to nothing." Luke curled his knees up just a little and Anakin smoothed his hair back. "But Virez…he told me not to go to him. Like…in my mind. And I am. I have. But I didn't…" Luke's eyes were suddenly bright, "Dad, I didn't know what to do and-"
"Shush," Anakin soothed, ducking his head down close to Luke's face. "Do you think he'll protect you?"
Luke nodded before Anakin had even finished speaking.
Could he do this? Trust that Luke would be kept safe by another version of himself that appeared crueller and colder than he was? A sith version of himself?
If he was honest, he wasn't sure that there was much choice.
