There were indeed several small, snot-nosed children, some of them still wheezing pitifully from the fire extinguisher. Their main injuries were the five children who were actually hit by the bouncing fire extinguisher. Apparently, someone had used it to put out a small fire in the grass outside and hadn't replaced the pin properly. The thing had literally exploded all over the place, firing itself across the room. House caught sight of Julia across the emergency room, cleaning out the eyes of a small girl. Cuddy was heading towards him, one small bleeding kid balanced on her hip.
"Ok, Cuddy, what slavery am I subjected to?" he asked. Cuddy thrust the child at him.
"He fell running away from the room. Bad head bump, please take care of him," she ordered irritably. House reluctantly took the child, who immediately locked his thin arms around House's neck.
"Ugh, just like a tick, little bloodsucker!" he growled. The kid immediately started to cry and Cuddy gave him an exasperated look. House could feel the blood against his neck where the kid's head was resting.
"Let's see what you have. You're lucky, usually people I look at are too sick to hate me just yet," he said, hauling the kid into an exam room. A quick examination actually told him the child had a nasty bump, but nothing serious. He'd have a bad headache and the abrasion did require three stitches, though. He was trying to clean it out and keep the kid from squirming or crying at the same time when Julia led the boy's parents in.
"Oh, is he alright?" the mother squealed as soon as she saw her son. House rolled his eyes as the kid struggled away from him and pounced at his mother.
"He'll be fine. He'll just have a scar above his eye where his head met the nice desk," House answered.
"A scar?" the woman gasped.
"Well, only for a while. It'll go away eventually," Julia said. The boy looked at his mother. He was getting blood all over her jeans.
"Are scars bad?" he asked, plainly afraid.
"Oh, but, you know what? You're going to look so tough all the other boys will think you're Indiana Jones!" Julia said, stooping to talk to the kid.
"No, Luke Skywalker!" the boy shouted.
"Fine, Luke Skywalker, after Return of the Jedi, when he's a real Jedi warrior!" Julia conceded. The boy smiled and climbed back up on the table for House. Aside from a little flinch away from the needle, the stitching commenced with no problems.
"Star Wars?" he grumbled, setting the kid on the floor with a band-aid. Julia nodded.
"Hey, Harrison Ford is hot," she replied.
"You're a geek and you seem to have an unhealthy fascination with older men."
A few hours later, House and Julia met in the cafeteria, having patched up every child who didn't immediately try to run away from House's un-child-friendly mannerisms.
"Did you actually tell the nurses Wilson cross-dresses on weekends?" he asked. She shook her head.
"No, but I will if he keeps irritating me. I told them he has an unrequited crush on one of them, and, since this is more viable and –they think- more serious than you and Wilson together, they are all trying to figure out which one he likes," she said.
"They didn't really believe that Wilson and I were together? I'm crushed!" House joked.
"No, they just had fun antagonizing you guys with it," she replied. He smiled and almost put an arm around her shoulder before stopping himself and dropping his hand to his leg so hard Julia raised an eyebrow at him.
"I want to get something straight here," House said suddenly. "I like you and I have no idea why because you're possibly the biggest bitch next to Cuddy on her yogurt days!" Julia laughed.
"House, you mainly like me because I'm the only age-inappropriate woman in this hospital who will put up with you and I make Wilson tremble in fear," she said, laying a hand on his arm. "I liked you from the second you opened your mouth. You're fun and I'd like whatever this is, wherever this goes, to be fun."
"Yeah, Highway to Hell in a handbasket, real fun," House muttered, scowling at her.
"Are you and I actually having an intellectual relationship conversation, here or a state-of-the-union-type cease-fire negotiation?" Julia asked, popping a piece of pineapple into her mouth.
"I don't want to make this a boyfriend-girlfriend thing," he said. "You're a slave nurse and I'm a boss, it might be bad for us."
"You're only a boss when Cuddy's not around, so if we keep her around all the time, what do you say?" she asked. House recoiled in mock terror.
"Cuddy more than I have to? Good Lord in Heaven, no!" he cried.
"You don't like me?" Cuddy said from behind him. Julia giggled and leapt up from the table, racing away faster than House had seen most mongooses on Animal Planet. Cuddy sat down across from him. He frowned at her and downed a Vicodin.
"You guys are so cute together!" she laughed. House rolled his eyes.
"We aren't together!" he snapped.
"I've only seen you flush when someone touches your arm when Stacy did it when you guys were first together," Cuddy said. She let out a strangely girlish giggle. House glared at her.
"We're not together. I only hang out with her because Wilson doesn't like her, after all," House said, thoughtfully.
"And she stays over last night because...?" Cuddy asked.
"We got drunk and fell asleep," House answered, shortly. He tossed another Vicodin down his throat. He felt like he needed a whole bottle right now.
"Wilson says she was cuddled up to you. House, I didn't know you cuddled!" Cuddy teased.
"Did you hire her just so you could set us up?" he asked. Cuddy laughed.
"No, but it's a very nice bonus! Brenda said she's a little tomboyish, so I don't think you should take her out anywhere nice to start," she said, suddenly launching into a plan.
"You're reading too much into this, Cuddy," he mumbled.
"Maybe a movie, although I've never known you to sit through anything without ripping it to shreds?" Cuddy continued, ignoring him.
"No," he grumbled.
"Well, I know she likes hockey, why don't you take her to a game?"
"I'm not taking her out, I'm not dating her!" House shouted, loud enough that people at the surrounding tables turned to look at him. He sneered at occupants of the closest table.
"House, I just think…"
"What?" he cut her off. "That I need someone? In case you haven't noticed, I'm a lot happier with no one around. Girlfriends just rearrange your stuff, break your heart, and leave. Besides, I've only known her for three days, I'm old enough to be her father, and she's messy. Examine it all you want, nothing good will come of it and I don't want it to!"
"Is that what this is all about? You want to be lonely and miserable because you're scared of getting hurt?" Cuddy asked gently.
"She's a whack-job!" House exclaimed.
"So are you. Personally, I think she's good for you; she's a fireball and she never just takes what hyou dish out, but she slings it back. Can't you give yourself a chance to enjoy someone else's company?" Cuddy asked. House rolled his eyes.
"You're a therapist now too? Because you're almost as bad at it as you are at being just a doctor!" he snapped, pushing his chair back and storming away. Cuddy watched him go. She'd never seen him react to anyone like this before- with Cameron, he'd been resistant, maybe shocked, but certainly not angry. He must really like this girl. She allowed herself to smile and watched him hobble down the hall.
He found Julia outside on the balcony, smoking a cigarette thoughtfully.
"You mad at me?" she asked.
"No, not really," he answered. It came out angrier than he meant it to.
"Are you sure?"
"Oh for god's sakes, shut up!" House snapped. She raised an eyebrow.
"Well, then, pass this test and I'll leave you alone until I have another fiendish idea," she said. He rolled his eyes and popped a Vicodin.
"Julia, I think you're insane. I'm old, I'm cranky, I'm mean, and everyone hates me. Except for you. Why?" he asked.
"Other than you, I'm probably the most loathed person in this hospital. I stepped on toes getting this position, I'm a head nurse with barely enough experience for the title. Granted, it's only for your department and otherwise I'm normal, but still. Wilson, and Cameron both like you and they hate me. So why shouldn't I come to you?" she asked. Her hand landed on top of his where it rested on his cane. Her touched seemed to burn his skin, sending jets of sensation up his arm.
"Then I'm not ready for this," he said. His voice was gentler and he couldn't explain why. He swallowed.
"My mother always said if everyone waited until they were ready for something, humans would be extinct," she said. He tried to walk away from her, but her grip on his hand tightened. He knew he could overpower her, but somehow…
"What's this test?" he asked, hoarsely. He could smell the juniper on her hair and see the odd curve of her eyes, the funny scar on the side of her head. She stood on tiptoe, her mouth pausing so close to his he could feel the heat from her breath across his teeth.
"Just this," she murmured. Her mouth closed over his and he felt a sudden jolt. He froze, unable to think of what to do next. It'd been a while since he'd been kissed like this. But then she gently parted her lips and touched his tongue with hers. The paralysis broke suddenly and he plunged his tongue into her mouth, dropping his cane to the ground. He slid his hands around her back and yanked her body against his, lifting her off the ground. Julia tasted like fruit, with the harsh taste of her cigarette on top. The combination should have been repulsive, but it was, instead, an odd aphrodisiac. Her arms wrapped around the back of his neck, pulling herself up further. His bad leg trembled, but he leaned against the wall to steady himself. They finally broke for air and he set her down, reluctantly pulling away.
"Wow. I should have done that sooner," she said with a smile. House tried to catch his breath and only shrugged at her. He retrieved his cane from the ground and tried to ignore the pounding in his crotch. He glanced at her and noticed that the slight breeze made the loose scrubs cling to her body. He bit his lip hard and turned his head.
"You passed," she added. Cursing himself for giving in, he leaned on the railing, watching her. A fall breeze drifted through and she shivered slightly. Her scrubs were thin and he could see her nipples poking through the thin material and goosebumps rising on her arms. He turned his head with difficulty; as much as he wanted to stand and stare at her breasts, he knew he couldn't do anything about how much he was enjoying it now.
"You're an idiot on so many levels," he said, leaning his cane against the wall so he could pull off his jacket and drape it over her shoulders. She shrugged and lit another cigarette. Usually, he knew he'd tear the jacket straight off her again, but he strangely wanted the stale smell of her cigarettes on him later...he'd smoked in the past –just about everything- but had never liked the lingering smell of old smoke, unless it was Julia's. They stood for a few moments in silence, staring out at the New Jersey fall which, compared to other places, was rather unspectacular.
"You said you didn't want a boyfriend-girlfriend thing. So, what do we call it?" she asked finally.
"I don't want to call it anything," he said.
"Ok, well, since we are now reasonably sure we're 'nothingness', did you want me to come over and make dinner?" she asked. He blinked.
"You cook?" he asked. "What are you, the bionic woman, come from the Matrix?" Truthfully, he was surprised. She didn't seem like the type to do anything remotely domestic. Then again, she knitted as well.
"Rather well, and rather unhealthily, so hopefully you don't value your arteries," she answered. She looked over the railing to make sure there was no one below and glanced inside to make sure there were no witnesses, and flicked her cigarette over the side.
"I can still beat up on you at work, right?" he asked slyly.
"You have to catch me first!" she said, snatching his cane from where it rested against the wall and running inside. He opened his mouth to yell, but could see she was already halfway down the hall. He smiled inwardly to himself. He hadn't had this much fun since Wilson first moved in, truthfully. And he supposed he sort of deserved it for leaving it there when she was around. He limped inside, downed a few more Vicodin and set off to find her.
