A/N: I originally had this split into two one-shots, but it was too weird to have them be separate, so I just combined them. Also, I just want to reiterate that this entire "story" is made up of ONE-SHOTS and that's why some of them are really short. This is the longest one I have written as of right now, so...yeah. Enjoy!

A Collection of Common Nonsense

Inventing

"Check it out, Perry!" exclaimed Phineas eagerly. He held out Perry's collar towards his pet. "We tricked it out!"

Perry took his collar from his owner gingerly, not knowing exactly what "tricked out" meant in Phineas and Ferb terms. Ferb noticed this and explained.

"We added an extra button on the side that triggers a laser beam, just in case," he said.

"Yeah!" Phineas exclaimed, adding on. "And it even has a special frequency tracking device and a camera attached, so if you get trapped somewhere and need our help, we can just follow the signal and rescue you."

Perry shook his head. Nuh uh. The boys were not helping him on missions, never ever. The second dimension incident was the first and only exception, and Perry wanted to keep it that way.

Phineas sensed his hesitation and added, "But, we won't interfere on any of your day-to-day missions. Just know that we will help you if the situation looks really bad."

Perry, though not fully convinced that this would be a good idea, reluctantly nodded. He highly doubted that he would need that much help defeating the Doofenshmirtz of this dimension, but it was nice to know that the boys would be there if anything ever went wrong.

Smiling at the two boys, Perry put his collar back on.

Just then his watch beeped. Barely glancing at it, he made to leave for his lair, but not before saluting his owners. Phineas and Ferb just watched, wide eyed, as Perry donned his hat and exited the room through one of his many secret entrances.

As soon as he was gone, Candace slowly entered the room.

"Uh, guys?" she asked hesitantly. "Am I going crazy, or was Perry just wearing a fedora?" She paused. "And why am I experiencing this weird sense of déjà vu?"

Uh oh, thought Phineas and Ferb together.

"Uh, Candace?" said Phineas, trying desperately to salvage the moment. "What are you talking about? Perry's not even here." Ferb glanced around the room and shrugged to make Phineas' point.

Candace glared at her brothers. "Ooo, I know you guys are up to something! And when I find out, you'll be so busted!" She flounced out of the room.

The boys both let out a sigh of relief. If Candace ever found out Perry's secret…who knew what could happen then.