The weeks passed and Severide was starting to act more like himself. He was spending time with Casey and the guys, and he had formed a friendship with Dawson. He still had a huge hole in his life and in his heart, but he was learning to live with it. He thought he was doing okay until the day before Shay's birthday.

He spent most of his shift in his office claiming that he had paperwork to catch up on. He had almost made it through the day without falling apart, but after a call he went to sit at the squad table and saw Mills and Brett there.

"Hey Brett, why are you at the squad table?"

"Oh Mills and I were just hanging out. I thought that was okay."

"Paramedics don't sit at the squad table. Mills is still a part of squad."

"Sorry, I didn't think it was a big deal."

"It is a big deal. This table is for squad. Not truck. Not paramedics."

"You didn't even let Shay sit here with you?" As soon as she asked that, she knew she stepped over the line. "I'm sorry, Severide, I shouldn't have said that."

It was too late. That caused all of his emotions that he had been suppressing to come out. "Don't talk about her. You didn't know her. You may look like her, but you're nothing like Shay."

Mills tried to intervene. "Severide, she didn't mean anything by it."

"Stay out of this, Mills."

Mills knew that this was about more than just Brett sitting at the squad table. "Hey, what's going on?"

By this time, Casey, Dawson, and the rest of truck had gathered closer to see what was going on.

"Tomorrow's her birthday," he whispered.

"What?"

"Tomorrow's her birthday," he repeated, "And I don't know what to do."

He looked around and saw everyone looking at him. He couldn't handle it. "I'm sorry," he said, and then he ran off. He didn't want everyone starring at him with looks of pity.

As soon as he left the room, Casey started to chase after him, but Dawson stopped him. "Let me go," she said.

She found him sitting his office starring at the wall. "Hey," she said, "wanna talk about it?"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone off on Brett like that."

"She'll be okay. I'm not really worried about her right now; I'm worried about you."

"Tomorrow is my best friend's birthday. Shay and I would always do something fun."

Dawson smiled. "She loved her birthday. She was so cute the way she would always get really excited about it."

"I just don't know what to do tomorrow. Should I celebrate? Or not? I don't know."

"I don't think there's any right way to do things. I think that if you want to celebrate Shay you should."

"I do. I want to remember her."

"If you want, I could come with you. We could go to some of Shay's favorite places."

"Yeah, I'd like that. They'll be drinks, too, right? Because I will definitely need a few."

"Of course. It wouldn't be a true celebration of Shay without a few drinks."

Dawson looked at him, and she saw the toll that Shay's death had taken on him. He looked tired- he had bags under his eyes- and he had aged a lot in the last couple of months.

"Tomorrow we're going to have fun, okay? Shay wouldn't want us to be sad on her birthday."

"I'll try. Listen, I've got some paper work to catch up on so I think I'm going to hang out back here for a little while."

She nodded, getting the hint that he wanted to be alone. "Okay. I'll leave you alone now. Be thinking about where you want to go tomorrow."

Back in the main area of the firehouse, Brett was apologizing to Mills for how she acted towards Severide.

"I shouldn't have brought it up. I was just tired of him not treating me fairly."

"He's not mad at you. Hey, Casey," he said, getting the Lieutenant's attention, "did you know about this?"

"No, he hasn't talked to me about it. I wish I had known."

"I have an idea. Herrmann, would you be okay with having a party tomorrow at Molly's?"

"Wait," Casey interrupted, "I don't know if that's such a good idea. I don't think Severide will be up for celebrating."

"I think it would be good for him. He worries that people will forget about Shay, and if we have a birthday party for her, it'll show him that we all remember her and still love her."

"It sounds like a good idea to me," Dawson said, joining the conversation. "Severide and I are going to spend the day together. I can bring him to Molly's tomorrow night."

"We can definitely use Molly's," Herrmann said. "We can have all of the proceeds go to a charity or something."

"Shay would have loved that," Dawson said.

"Hey, are you okay?" Casey asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

He wasn't buying it. He took her aside and asked her what was going on.

"I forgot," Dawson said, fighting back tears. "I forgot that Shay's birthday is tomorrow. I was so wrapped up in becoming a firefighter that I forgot my best friends birthday."

He pulled her into his arms and stroked her hair trying to comfort her. "It's okay," he said.

"No, it's not. I should have remembered..."

"You know what I think? I think that Shay would be so proud of you for becoming a firefighter. She would want you to be focusing on that."

"I hope so. It would be so much easier with her here. I miss her energy, her laugh, her friendship."

"I know. I do, too. So, you and Severide are going to spend the day together tomorrow?"

"Yeah, we're going to go to some of Shay's favorite places. I thought it would be good for both of us."

"I think so, too. Have fun, okay? That's what Shay would want."

Later that day when Dawson was busy training with Herrmann, he snuck off. He wanted Dawson to have fun tomorrow, and he knew he needed help with that.

He pulled out his phone and dialed a familiar number.

"Hey, Antonio," he said when the detective answered, "how do you feel about going to a party tomorrow night?"

I'm sorry it took awhile to update. I had a hard time deciding where I wanted to go with this story. Stay tuned for the next chapter where some unexpected guests show up to the party at Molly's.