The day of Poppy's burial dawned cold and crisp, with mist still hanging in the air in swirly patches. Tenzin brushed away sleep from his eyes. He was still tired from yesterday's journey, but it didn't surprise him when he wasn't able to sleep a wink the night before – the fact that he was sleeping under the same roof with Lin made sure of that. He remembered the last time he did – almost seven months ago, when they were both trying to convince themselves that they could make everything work.
Her smooth, milky skin seemed all aglow, even more so with moonlight illuminating it. They had a go at each other again – broken vases and picture frames were scattered all over the floor of her apartment. "I don't want children!" she screamed again and again until Tenzin silenced her with a kiss.
She was atop him, her hips gyrating and bucking to the rhythm of their mingled moans and sighs. He ran a hand on her tiny waist, her taut abdomen, wondering how on earth could Lin despise the fruits of their arduous lovemaking, and yet enjoy the act itself. He forgot it all when she exhaled his name and collapsed on his chest, her heart beating wildly, her cheeks flushed with color.
"You'll always have me," she whispered, her long fingers gripping him like she would never let go.
Tenzin pulled her closer, trying to convince himself that this was what he wanted. "Always."
It still haunted him, even in his daydreams.
But he has Pema now – sweet, innocent Pema, the complete opposite of Lin. She was gentle where Lin was rough, calm where Lin was tempestuous. Pema who would gratefully change her life if it meant making him happy. And Pema wanted children as much as he did.
Lin felt her stomach roll as soon as she rose from bed. "Damn this morning sickness," she muttered, quickly making her way to the bathroom. It's been like this almost everyday. "When will I see you guys?" She felt one of them kick. Three months more, she thought, holding up her hair as she retched last night's dinner into the toilet.
Changing into a loose robe, she stepped out. Since she wasn't allowed to do her usual training routine in her state, she decided to head to the rock garden to practice some of the "lighter" stances. Eschewing slippers, she sighed contentedly as she felt the cool, dew-laden ground beneath her feet. Like her mother, she always felt more connected – more grounded – whenever she felt the earth against her bare skin. "I wonder if you guys will be earthbenders like me – or what if one of you take after your dad? Can you imagine the mess we'll be in?"
For a few months now, she had been entertaining pleasant little scenarios in her mind of little barefoot feet kicking rocks around; little hands first discovering how amazingly pliable metal can be – sometimes too, she'd imagine something different; most of the time it involves a certain grey-eyed little Beifong causing mischief while riding an air scooter.
As she set foot into the rock garden, she felt someone else at the far end. She sent a wave through the rocks in an attempt to topple whoever it was intruding in what she claimed as her "personal space".
"Hey – ow!" Tenzin's voice echoed throughout the garden.
"What the fuck are you doing in here?!" she screamed, doing something between a walk and a run to get where Tenzin was. Apparently, the rake he was using to make patterns in the rocks fell over his head when Lin toppled him.
He smoothed his robes as he rose. "I can't sleep."
"Been here all night?"
He shook his head.
"Well – I guess I'd better leave you to your spiritual stuff, then," Lin turned to go, knowing full well that staying another moment more might lead to a sparring session. She paused, however, when she saw the patterns on the rocks. "You should really continue making those. They're quite lovely," she remarked, hoping she didn't sound sarcastic.
"Lin –"
"Good day, Tenzin."
Tenzin continued tracing patterns until the sun got higher up on the horizon. It was about eight in the morning when he put down the rake in frustration because he couldn't get the lines straight. Wiping the sweat from his forehead, she found himself a boulder on which to sit on. Dao soon appeared, bearing a tray of food in his hand. "Mistress Lin sends her compliments."
Tenzin took the tray and stared at its contents – there was a tall glass of ice-cold lemon tea and two pieces of sweet steamed buns, both of which are his favorite snacks. He smiled at the thought of Lin preparing the food for him (even if it wasn't very likely – servants were at her beck and call here). Memories flooded his mind as vividly as if they happened only yesterday.
"You look like an idiot when you smile," Lin laughed as they made their way through the crowd. He was seventeen, she was sixteen. Both of them were bundled up in furs, enjoying the sights and sounds of the Spirit Lights Festival. Lin's cheeks were red from the cold.
Tenzin led her to a quiet place, away from the crowd.
"What's up, baldy?" she asked, huffing as she tried to keep with him.
He took her hand and smiled. "Oh, you'll see soon enough."
Lin surveyed her surroundings through squinted eyes. "Look at all this snow!" she laughed. Tenzin always loved her laugh – it wasn't trilling or high-pitched, like other girls' laughs – it was a sort of deep, earthy laughter. Somehow it sounded more sincere to his ears. Lin dug her feet into a nearby drift. "Where's the earth? No wonder Mom said she was even blinder here!"
Tenzin just grinned, watching as his surprise began lighting up the sky. "Look up, Linny."
She punched his arm, clearly annoyed. "We're not twelve anymore! Stop calling me – WOW."
Both of them watched in reverent silence as the Spirit Lights danced across the sky, undulating like curtains thrown about by a careless breeze. Tenzin watched, transfixed, as the changing lights illuminated Lin's face.
"Beautiful," she gasped, turning to him. "This is awesome, Ten."
"Not as beautiful – or as awesome – as you," he said, heat rising to his cheeks. Awkwardly, he held Lin's face by the chin and kissed her lips.
"WHOA," she exclaimed, pulling away from him, her cheeks even more aflame. "What was that for? I thought we were here to see the lights."
He felt a chill run down his spine. Perhaps Lin didn't even see him in that way. "I'm sorry… er – forget that ever happened okay? It's just the wine."
Lin reached for him and held onto his hands tightly. "I went here because I was looking for an answer. I hoped the spirits would grant me that," she kissed him this time, deeper and more passionate.
"I love you, Lin. I have loved you since we were kids. I love you now and I will never love anyone else but you."
"You know what the spirits told me?" she said, resting her head on his shoulder.
"What?"
"They said yes."
It was midday when they trekked to the little hill where the Beifong crypts were located. Tenzin wondered aloud why Lin was being carried in a palanquin – Su answered him by saying Lin has been feeling horrible all day and can't stand the heat. Aang and Toph had gone ahead to build the pyre, along with the other Air Acolytes who came to say final blessings.
"Is Lin alright?" he asked once more, clearly annoying his cousin who was fashioning stairs by the hillside using her bending.
Suyin smacked the back of Tenzin's head. "Spirits, Tez! Haven't you asked that enough already? I told you Linny is not okay. Why don't you go work on your tattoos or something? Ugh!"
As soon as the party – consisting of Tenzin, Suyin, and Lin with her palanquin-bearers – reached the top of the hill, Aang beckoned for his son to join him. Lin stayed under the shade of a huge tree, seating herself on one of its massive roots, while Suyin quickly made a beeline for her mother.
"Today we bid Poppy Beifong, beloved wife to Lao, mother to Toph, and grandmother to Lin and Suyin…" Tenzin could barely hear the words because of Suyin's wailing, and try as he might, he felt quite out of sync when his father, together with the Air Acolytes, began chanting. Discreetly, he looked over to where Lin was – she was standing in the shade now, her long dress billowing around her in the wind. Although her face retained its usual hard, stoic façade, her eyes sparkled with tears, betraying her completely.
Finally, Aang set the pyre ablaze.
"See you soon, Mother," said Toph, wiping a tear away from her cheek.
Tenzin looked back at Lin only to find out she has retreated into the palanquin and had drawn the silk curtains closed.
Author's Note:
Hi guys! I know you've been wanting Tenzin to find out, BUUUUUT i'm just kinda building up the tension for a bit, so I thought I'd write some LinZin fluff for you in this chapter! I hope you guys had a fun time reading!
