Hello again! Thank you for all your lovely reviews!
And to answer one of them… To Kuro Rei, in order: Yes, I did mean bemusement (she just doesn't understand everything), I made Mordin say the chemical name for water because it was to allude to him rambling in the unusual situation (and it made me laugh so it stayed XD), yes I knew tomato juice doesn't actually work but Shepard had only heard about it through third person accounts and some people swear up and down that tomato juice or (believe it or not) douches work (I decline to ever ask about the second one), and your idea for a Septimus ending is intriguing. I will have to put some thought into that. I'm not picking on you, I just earnestly wanted to answer your notes, but you are anonymous so I did what I could. Thanks again for your review! =)
Rated M, I own nothing (curse you BioWare, only not really because I want ME3), please enjoy!
OoOoOo
The first shrill beep caused Shepard to snap her eyes open in annoyance. She glared balefully at the offending device as the second high-pitched wail descended over her cabin. One slender arm reached out hazily from underneath her covers. With reflexes dimmed by sleep, she slapped her hand down over the device. However, she used a tad too much force and the clock danced off the table in a mock-maneuver of self-preservation. It seemed the clock miscalculated, however, for it banged down on the floor with a satisfying 'crunch'. Shepard wiggled toward the edge of the bed to blink owlishly at the scattered remnants of her alarm on the floor.
IF this was an omen, the day was already looking infamous.
With a flop, Shepard groaned at the too soon return to consciousness. She stretched, wiggling her toes as she yawned in unison. The small noises of her contentment filled the enclosed space, before she hauled herself out of bed. She shivered as her bare feet touched the cold metal floor. She placed a hand on her shoulder and pulled forward slightly to alleviate some tension that had accumulated during the night. Afterward, she ran a hand through her disheveled hair with another small yawn. Her movements were lethargic as she ambled toward her clothing. With a huff, she selected the most suitable outfit for going into an 'undercover' merc operation.
Consideration gave her pause. She would need to see exactly what Chellick needed her for. That would determine what armor, if any, she would have to bring. It would also play a heavy part in her weapon selection, and how she would dictate roles to Garrus and Tali. She made a mental note to strategize with them once they had all been debriefed. However, she conceded, that knowing ahead of time would save wasted time and energy.
When she had finished dressing, she sent off a quick inquiry to Chellick's office at C-Sec. Shepard resolved to go about her morning routine, and hoped to hear back from him prior to their designated appointment time. She sat on her bed to tie her boots with a soft sigh. 'Another day, another dollar,' she thought tiredly. Once completed, Shepard strode into her bathroom to see to her personal hygiene. She stole a quick look to her bathroom door to make sure it was locked securely. Her hazel eyes traveled upward, and even though she was fairly certain no one had placed cameras in her bathroom, it never hurt to exercise extra caution. Satisfied that she was not being observed, Shepard craned her nose toward her shoulder and took a delicate sniff. She still couldn't smell anything. She took a few strands of her hair and tried to smell those too. With the exception of her shampoo, which was standard cleansing solution, she smelled nothing.
How could so many species pick up on pheromones?
She shrugged with a puzzled expression and continued on with taking care of her personal hygiene. Shepard exited her private bathroom and headed toward the elevator. She needed to grab some food, and maybe a quick cup of coffee. She thanked her lucky starts she had already gotten better provisions for the ship. That meant higher quality swill, than the normal military coffee swill. 'Oh joy of joys,' she thought sardonically.
The ride was shorter than it had seemed being trapped previously with Mordin. She had been plagued with unusual dreams last night of 'completing the mating cycle', or whatever he had called it. She watched the elevator door open quietly, and moved toward the mess hall. She was greeted by the quiet footsteps of Thane as he fell into step beside her. She would never admit that she still wondered how he popped out of nowhere without warning.
She flashed him a bright smile, brighter than she felt at any rate. "Morning, Thane."
"Greetings, Siha," he rumbled quietly and she gave him a sideways glance.
She nodded her acknowledgement of his greeting, and she waited with slight paranoia for him to say something about her 'scent'. Yet, she was disappointed when they made it to the dining area without further comment or conversation. Granted, it was not a very long walk by any stretch of the imagination, but she found herself slightly confused by his lack of speech. Shepard parted from him and headed straight toward the still-steaming pot of coffee. Even after thousands of years with the invigorating bean, humans always adored coffee. Or at least, those out risking their lives at all hours of the day and night, like Shepard, for example.
She took a moment to observe the number of people eating at the tables, and was surprised to find Grunt, Jack, and Tali among the rest of the crew. Tali waved to her, and Shepard gave a slight smile in return. All the emotions she had attempted to sort through last night, roared to the surface. She became aware that the burning inside her chest did not distract from the burning in her hand. Her hazel eyes traveled downward, and she realized she had spilled hot coffee on her hand. The cup had begun to over flow.
With a wince, and a sigh of exasperation at her own clumsiness, Shepard grabbed a nearby cleaning rag to wipe up the spill. She turned and gave Tali a wide grin. The quarian simply shook her head in return. Shepard had to question how much Tali knew exactly, but it was not her place to ask or to say if the other female knew nothing. Part of her wanted to ask, simply ask, what was so different between them. What was it about a quarian that was more acceptable than a human?
But, Shepard already knew the answer, thanks to the wise words of Septimus. It had not even been a proper generation between now and the First Contact War. Old grudges, like habits, did not die easily. And, she could remember snippets of conversations with Garrus about his father. If memory served, his father was the poster boy for Turian pride. Suddenly she didn't feel very hungry.
Shepard grabbed her coffee and walked gingerly toward Tali, lest she spill more of the hot liquid. No matter what she was feeling, she was Tali's friend and it would be unfair to punish her for something that wasn't her fault. It was a strange situation, but no one's fault. Shepard set the steaming cup down, and pulled out a chair. She sat gracefully down, and attempted to give a smile of good humor toward her Quarian companion.
"Shepard," Tali asked conspiratorially, "are you alright?"
Hazel eyes blinked in surprise. "Yes, of course, why?"
Tali's helmet dipped and Shepard could almost swear she was blushing, but the mask made it impossible to tell. "You're smiling a lot."
She froze for a moment, her smile slipping from her face effortlessly. Shepard had been so focused on treating Tali the same, that she had unfortunately, been trying too hard to seem happy. However, it would be inadvisable for Shepard to tell her the truth, and her pride would never allow it. How could she admit jealously for a person that had only ever been a friend to her? The thought was inconceivable and incredibly hard to swallow. Shepard took a sip of her coffee, both stalling and fining solace in the burring pain that resided in her mouth at the nearly boiling liquid.
"Am I?" She asked in an attempt to divert excess attention.
"Shepard," Tali leaned forward and gazed at her; That is what Shepard guessed at any rate, "you are… what do humans call it? Illuminating?"
"Glowing," she corrected with a slight laugh, "The expression is 'You are glowing'."
"She smells like Turian," Grunt grumbled from her left.
Shepard stared at him as if he had only two seconds to live. A nervous glance was spared for Tali, who had suddenly stopped moving. Shepard could feel all the eyes of her crewmembers, both human and alien, swivel in her direction. She swallowed uncomfortably as Jack gave her a vicious grin, all teeth and flashing eyes. Her coffee had lost its entire flavor under their blatant stares. Shepard schooled her features into an impassive mask. She had to keep the respect of her crew and refused to show any form of weakness in front of them. With hurt pride oozing from every pore, she snapped her gaze to Grunt's fiercely.
"I am aware," she stated in a perfectly professional tone.
She watched Grunt give her a confused glance. She owed him no explanations. She owned none of them explanations. She watched Tali fidget with her food, more of a nutrient paste because of her special diet, but the fidgeting was clear.
"Does Garrus know?"
Shepard looked at Tali with true surprise on her features. Her suspicions had been confirmed that Tali did not know the full extent of the situation. Hell, Shepard didn't know the whole story, but Tali was even more behind in the news than herself. A small splash of rage colored her thoughts. Tali had no right to ask, and it was insulting for her to even believe for an instant that she was somehow 'cheating' on Garrus. Though it had been unsaid, it was heavily implied, and it provoked Shepard to anger. She was the one that had poured out her heart, only to have it shoved back in her face. Garrus did not want her… but he did according to Septimus. Shepard was not used to having to trust someone by their word alone. But, her hope that maybe there was something deeper than friendship burning in his blue eyes kept her from giving up entirely.
She opened her mouth to retort.
"Garrus knows," the rumbling timber of his voice washed over Shepard causing her to shiver unconsciously.
Shepard slowly turned her attention to him. The room faded away slightly, and for a single instant all she saw was that heartbreakingly familiar face. She stole another sip of coffee, hoping to calm her frazzled nerves. She watched, her face betraying nothing, as he walked casually toward her. His mandibles twitched in nervous energy. When he reached her table, it seemed that he wanted to sit next to her as his hand reached out reflexively for the chair closest to hers. However, he appeared to think better of it, and pulled out a chair directly next to Tali's.
Shepard said nothing, though inside she was hurting. She forced the smile of greeting into her eyes. Garrus stared back at her with his azure markings standing prominent under the florescent light. She turned her gaze toward Thane, who stared back with infinitely black eyes. Shepard drained the last of her coffee in a few long gulps. It had not escaped her notice that everyone had averted their eyes from the three of them. She knew her crew was a tad too intelligent for her liking. It was useful against the Collectors, but hell on keeping a secret.
"Well," Shepard began in a steady tone, "you two ready to go?"
Garrus drew her attention once more with his mandibles closing in a turian-frown. His blue eyes narrowed on her face, and Shepard conscientiously tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Her gaze challenged his however, as she refused to be cowed by him. Tali glanced between the pair, with her mask glinting as she turned, Shepard could not tear her eyes from Garrus. She could tell he was unhappy, she could see it in every line of his features. Yet, there was nothing she could do about it. She had taken the first step. Shepard had laid the cards on the table, and now it was Garrus's turn to do the same, or leave the game.
Shepard had no idea what he wanted, because he would not tell her. She was angry, and hurt that he was willing to 'claim' her more or less according to his people, but he would not say the words. Garrus had not voiced his desires, and Shepard was simply too exhausted to try and drag them out of him. And, perhaps, if Septimus was correct, all she needed to do was give him some time. Shepard could be patient. She would have to be. All her other options were gone now.
She would never force him into any situation he didn't want. But, she wouldn't let this lay her low, and she would not wait for forever. She might always love him. It was something she already knew and welcomed with open arms. Love, unrequited or not, was still a feeling that told her she really wasn't dead. Shepard loved Garrus and they both knew it. But, she needed him to say the same. Or to at least say that there was something between them that was born from mutual attraction. She wouldn't settle for less than that.
Tali looked up from her paste and nodded quickly. "Of course Shepard, I'm always ready," she scoffed lightly.
Shepard's lips quirked into a grin at Tali's words. Her hazel eyes locked onto Garrus's once more. "And you? Are you ready?"
Garrus's mandibles flared in surprise, or annoyance, and he nodded with a low rumbled emanating from his chest. "Whenever you are Shepard," he stated and Shepard felt her knees weaken at sudden heat infusing his words.
Her mouth went dry as his eyes bored into hers, and she could hear the low rumbled growl coming from his chest. He leaned forward slightly onto the table and his nearness caused her desire to spike painfully. His taloned hands rested on the table, a silent entreaty to touch her. Or at least, in her imagination, that it what it was. Her fingers wrapped tighter around her empty coffee cup and Shepard leaned in toward him, almost against her will.
She moistened her lips quickly, and watched his mandibles widen slightly to show off his razor sharp teeth. The sight only encouraged her wild imagination.
"How many times do I have to tell you Garrus? I'm always waiting on you," it had been in jest, but the double meaning to her words was clear to him as his avian eyes dilated.
Shepard felt a rush of primal power flood her senses. She was relieved and aroused that she could affect him without the presence of Chellick to urge him on. She lowered her lashes for a moment, and stared at the few drops of brown liquid now drying in her cup. As she had said the words, she realized their validity. She was always waiting on Garrus. However, she was a marine and faithful to a fault. So with this warning given, she was willing to wait for a little while longer.
Besides, if it all went up in flames, there was always Septimus. Shepard smiled at the warm remembrance of his kind words and the simple companionship they had found in Chora's Den. She didn't think he ever left at their last encounter, but she knew better than to believe it.
Shepard slid one hand forward, leaving it just inches from Garrus's own. She had never been ashamed to admit her feelings for him. She had never worried about what a relationship between them might do for her reputation, but she didn't care. However, that did not mean she was not considerate for what he felt. If being with her would, in fact, be too problematic, then she would bow out gracefully. If there was one thing Shepard knew, it was grace under fire.
His mandibles had flared once more at the nearness of their appendages, and Shepard gave him a soft but reassuring smile. They would have words about all of this, she would dam well make sure they would. Shepard would not be bullied by him, but she would also not push him away. This was entirely new territory… for both of them. And, in the end she might not be who he wanted. If, or when, that came to pass she would encourage him with whoever he wanted. Even, if it killed her she would play the part of the devoted friend. Because, in the end, it was better to be his friend than nothing at all. 'Even if I am so confused and furious with you I can't stand it. It is better to be in your life than without you in mine,' she thought sagely.
Tali cleared her throat awkwardly, destroying the tender moment between them.
"Let's go catch some mercs," Shepard said quietly and excused herself from the table.
She could not shake the feeling of Garrus's eyes as she walked away.
OoOoOo
Shepard stared at the milling C-Sec officers in silent boredom. They had been waiting for their 8:00 am, in ship time, appointment for half an hour now. Garrus had been like a large turian fungus as he stuck to her better than any shadow could dare dream of. It was not that he was attached at her hip; it was that he refused to be more than 2 square inches from her presence. It had not escaped her notice that he continued to stare down any Turian male that came within a 30 foot radius of her person. Tali seemed as confused by this as Shepard.
Granted, she understood mostly why he was emitting Turian 'back-off' vibes. However, she sincerely doubted a random male was going to come up on the Citadel and accost her. The image was more amusing than terrifying, and that was how Shepard was staving off freaking out about the whole ordeal. She had seen some strange things in life, and that helped her cope on the scale of the absurd.
And, yet, the stares from the unknown Turain males was indeed climbing up that list. They ranged from the usual disbelief, to lust, and even disgust. Shepard really needed speak with Mordin on masking the pheromones because at this rate, she would be famous for more than just being the first Human Spectre. And that did not bode well for an undercover operation.
No one had said a word to her. Even the human C-Sec officers had steered clear of her in the wake of so many Turians giving her their nearly undivided attention. Tali had tried to distract her with chatter about the engines. However, Shepard was meant for combat, and while she was intelligent the latest schematics down to their basic parts did nothing to stimulate her brain. Her blank stare had been given a through work out today and would require rest in the near future.
She was drawn from her boredom by the sound of a door opening. She glanced up into the welcoming face of Chellick. His white markings still stood in stark contrast to the lightness of his scales.
In her opinion, he was still a handsome turian.
His mandibles flared open in a wide turian–smile and Shepard felt her own lips stretch in a mimicking gesture. She held out an armored hand. She had decided to proceed with caution, and it was a safe bet that at some point she was going to be shot at. Somehow, she just knew it. Her armor thudded softly as he grasped her outstretched arm with his own armored hand. Shepard and Chellick shook hands quickly. If his hand lingered longer than strictly necessary, she pretended not to notice.
Garrus noticed, however, if his subtle shifting in her periphery was anything to go by. Shepard quickly withdrew her appendage to prevent any further altercations between the two males. Starting a brawl in the middle of C-Sec, regardless of culture views, would be bad form in Shepard's mind.
"Sorry about the delay," Chellick started easily, his timber washing over Shepard to remind her of the husky note to his voice when he was aroused.
She tried really hard not to think about it. However, humans were still given to random thoughts of attraction, as was only natural per her species. Shepard shifted minutely to ease her thoughts back to the task at hand.
"It happens to the best of us," she offered politely, even if she was still a tad annoyed. She had, after all sat through an entire lecture about her own engine just moments ago. If she could have bestowed that horror upon Chellick, without the Illusive Man blowing a gasket, she would have. Ten-fold, if possible.
"I assume you and your squad," he stared challengingly at Garrus, whose chest had begun to rumble again, "are ready to be debriefed?"
Shepard spared a quelling glance at the icy-blue eyes of her turian squad mate before nodding at Chellick. She could feel the hairs on the back of her neck stand, like they always did when someone had her in their sights. Shepard knew that this particular feeling of being watched stemmed from the object of her affections, and she tried not to squirm uncomfortably under the knowledge. This situation was going to be awkward enough already. After all, she had not forgotten that, technically, she was 'engaged' to them both.
It occurred to her to ask Septimus a few more questions, now that she was more in her right state of mind. Mostly…
Chellick ushered them inside his office, which was cluttered more than the last time Shepard had been here. Data pads were strewn about in an organized, but haphazard fashion. It looked like Chellick had pulled every scrap of data to do with their current job. Shepard felt a growing sense of unease. This looked far more complicated than she had originally thought, and she still had to help Garrus find Sidonis.
"It's all fairly straightforward," the pale turian had begun amicably; "you've all been given cover names and stories to spice it up a bit. Miss Vas Neema, you are a Quarian still on your pilgrimage… I'm sure you can play that part just fine."
Shepard tried to fight the feelings swirling in her stomach as he grinned at Tali. She scolded herself for feeling even a modicum of jealousy toward Tali. She reminded herself once more, that she was Tali's commanding officer and her friend. Tali trusted her, and Shepard refused to betray that trust with petty jealousy or unkind thoughts.
Chellick's face closed slightly, and he stared at a data pad, his gaze not even bothering to meet Garrus' . "Vakarian, you are a merc for hire. Your record is modest, but impressive," avian eyes narrowed slightly at the data, "I made sure of it. It's similar to that of some renegade on Omega. I hear they were calling him Archangel."
Shepard felt her blood freeze in her veins. If it continued to pump, it was only thanks to Cerberus' tinkering. She kept her gaze forward on Chellick, and tried not to let her surprise reflect on her face. However, she was sure she had failed. The threat on Garrus hit too close to home. Shepard could tolerate some odd alien behaviors. She might even learn to live with constantly smelling like Turian 'mating oil'. However, no one… no one threatened Garrus. Especially not in front of her.
"Archangel," the dignified fury that laced her words gave everyone in the room pause, "is dead, Detective. I'm surprised you have such faulty Intel." Her hazel eyes attempted to cut him to the quick. The florescent light, combined with her long history, painted her as a force to be reckoned with.
Chellick's mandibles flared wide in shock, before snapping shut with an audible 'click'. "Of course, thank you for telling me. I will notify my intelligence web."
"See that you do," her tone was frosty.
The rebuttal sunk in and Chellick nodded, his white markings seeming to glare out irritatingly to Shepard. Her fury was tough to leash in. However, she needed to tamp it down and get through this debriefing. She would not call him out in front of her subordinates. Shepard had never cared for that sort of humiliation, and she could not in good consciousness… subject Chellick to it either.
"Please continue," she prompted quietly.
"As for you Shepard," he gave her a slight grin, she declined to return it, "the scouts from last night believe that you and I are an 'item' and I intend to extort that fact. You and I will be working very closely, " his purr of satisfaction was ill-concealed and Shepard felt it was purposeful, "you'll be assisting me in a weapons black market sting."
Shepard nodded. She was not surprised, but extremely pleased, that she needed her armor. Really, she ought to just never take it off. Every time she got off the Normandy someone was shooting at her. Willingly, to boot… idiots.
Chellick launched into an outline of what was expected of each member. He went over code words for compromised and secure situations. Shepard was impressed with his attention to detail as he left not one scenario uncovered. Chellick also went over a rough time outline with them, and she was relieved to see that it was not nearly as involved as she had feared. Her frazzled nerves soothed somewhat. She was not opposed, nor was she over eager, to spend a large amount of time posing as Chellick's… whatever she was. Girlfriend? Booty call? Business partner?
Irrespective of the circumstances, Shepard was comforted by knowing that her team was placed in far safer positions than her own. Which was counter-productive to self-preservation, but it was still true. She glanced at Garrus, to find him listening intently, but when her eyes fell upon him; his full attention swung to her. She couldn't say exactly what she saw in those expressive blue eyes, but whatever it had been was enough to make heat pool between her legs. She shifted once more and turned her gaze back to Chellick.
He had finished speaking, and they had no questions having been through something similar too many times to count. Shepard trusted Tali and Garrus to take care of themselves and each other. Though the latter part of that thought had her cringing internally, it also gave her a modicum of peace.
"Garrus, Tali," Shepard started calmly, "please wait for me outside. I have to speak with the Detective in private."
The pair exchanged a glance and Garrus started forward instantly. "Shepard I don't think that's a good idea. We've wasted enough of the Detective's valuable time," he rumbled dangerously.
Shepard placed an arm on Garrus' shoulder steadily. Her face softened at his agitation and obvious concern. Things had not changed between them, but the signs of his care were there and she relished it silently. Her hazel eyes locked with his, and she gave a gently squeeze to his armor but she was uncertain if he could feel it.
"I'll be fine Garrus. It'll just take a moment," she reassured compellingly.
His mandibles twitched, and she could see the start of a denial in his eyes.
"That's an order Vakarian," she teased lightly, unwilling to embarrass him in front of Chellick or… Tali.
He nodded jerkily and exited out the office door with Tali hot on his heels. Shepard waited two heart beats for the door to close and lock. Then she rounded on Chellick.
"What the hell was that Chellick?" Her roar of outrage echoed between them like a concussive blast.
His avian eyes appraised her steadily. His mandibles opened and closed in quick succession. Agitation, if Shepard was reading him correctly.
"It's a turian thing," he hedged with an unsteady breath, "oh… and even assassinating mercs is still considered illegal."
"I don't care," she hissed vehemently, "it was uncalled for and unprofessional."
"It's my culture," he retorted, " and my job."
"And your job to be an upstanding member of the law," she countered without losing a bit of heat, " but, you don't have jurisdiction in the Terminus systems."
"That's not the point, Shepard."
"Oh yeah? From where I am standing that is exactly the point," she snapped out in mounting frustration.
"No, it's not. The law has nothing to do with it," he denied readily, " well, at least in the beginning it did, now it is entirely different."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Explain why it is different to me. Tell me, the one that you decided to more or less claim without my knowledge. I've been dying to hear this one."
"It's not that simple Shepard," his words gave a pale echo of those Garrus had stated so passionately.
"I'm getting real tired of people telling me it 'isn't that simple'," her bitterness swelled the words to proportion with her anger.
"Shep-"
"If you can't explain it all, then just tell me one thing. Why did you 'scent' me?"
"Hm, I see you have been talking to someone," he commented with a turian grin evident, "I assume they told you all about it?"
Shepard weighed her words carefully. "I think he covered the basics. It's like a human engagement and that you are serious about me. You hardly know me Chellick, "she finished a little helplessly.
"That's true," he stated thoughtfully and his bright eyes stared into hers, "but, I know I want you Shepard. I know you are courageous, beautiful, and unlike anyone else I have ever met. I also know I have nothing to lose by trying for you."
"You're reputation," she started argumentatively.
Chellick waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "Some people have a problem after the Relay incident. However, I have several people that are loyal to me. Even if I didn't," he continued meaningfully, " you are worth it Shepard."
"But being a mate is a serious thing, Chellick," she countered swiftly, "you don't know what I am up against. You don't know if I will survive… or if you will. For fuck's sake, you don't even know if we will get along!"
Her eyes were sad and apologetic. However, she had said her peace and would leave him to his work. Their business with the mercs needed to be seen to. Shepard nodded a brief farewell and walked toward the door.
"It's a chance I am willing to take," his tone slightly pleading as he called out after her, "is Vakarian?"
Shepard paused, mid-step, one foot out the door already. She turned only the side of her face toward him. The words were like poison between them. Chellick had hit upon the one subject she was very protective about and he had hit it hard. Her own doubts crept like a sand storm through her thoughts.
"That was a low blow, Chellick."
"Turians play to win, Shepard."
Without a word she strode out, and two familiar faces were waiting her. Shepard ducked her head to hide the blush of shame and worry that broke over her features. She couldn't focus on Garrus and love right now. Their task had been assigned, and she would do her duty.
Even if it killed her… again.
