I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters. I hope you enjoy!
7.
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It's the first time Sam gets to have people over, and he can barely contain his excitement as he bounces on the heels of his feet and watches for the Impala, and Dean. Beside Sam his new best friend is just getting off the phone with his mum, arranging to be picked up from Bobby's when they are finished. Just as he is about to turn and say something to Tom, Sam sees the Impala and breaks out in a wide smile as he waves erratically at his older brother who smiles back way too coolly and pulls up alongside the curb.
'Hey Dean!' Sam's squeak, his excitement almost tangible now. 'This is Tom, Tom this is my big brother Dean!' Sam pulls the backseat open and piles in as Tom follows him with a soft greeting to Dean who smiles and nods hello back at him as they pull away. Sam strikes up a conversation with Tom quickly, grinning every so often at Dean in the rear-view mirror.
'Did you kids want to stop off at the supermarket and pick up some chips or anything? Think I cleared out the last of the snacks last night.' Dean asks, slowing down as they near the local supermarket, where by now Sam and Dean are easily referred to as locals as they stroll the aisles each week with Bobby.
'Couldn't sleep again?' Sam gives Dean the early stages of his bitch face, unimpressed that his brother still isn't getting through the night without waking up fretfully, unable to get back to sleep till early in the morning. Sam sometimes heard him sneak back in to his bedroom just shy of dawn before getting up again to help Sam get ready for school.
'Late night horror movie fest if you must know.' Dean shot back with an eye roll. 'So, snacks?' Sam nods and looks to Tom who nods too with a smile.
'Can we get donuts?' Tom asks and judging by the approving look Dean shoots him from the front seat, he is impressed and warms to Tom straight away. 'And MnM's, those things are mint.'
'Amen to that!' Dean crows and they pull in to the parking lot. Sam's first out of the car with Tom fast behind him as they head towards the entrance of the grocery store. Dean trails along behind them silently, trying not to crowd their style as they head for the confectionary aisle.
As they idle past the array of sweets, Sam slows down for a moment to keep pace with Dean as Tom mulls over whether he wants crispy or peanut MnM's. 'Was there really a late night horror fest on Dean?' He gives his brother the full effect of the puppy dog eyes, and stares his older brother down. He can't help but notice the slight hollow of his cheeks, dark smudges from lack of sleep that shadow his green eyes and the way his lips are slightly gnawed on.
Sam takes all of this in because he knows it hasn't been easy on his brother, the past three months they had been bunkered down at Bobby's for the long haul. Reality became more intense the further along it got, and the less their father called. It bothered Sam to no end that their dad was still missing, but he knew it was harder on Dean.
But Sam couldn't hide his own irrational fears, some mornings he would wake with a heavy dread in his stomach; so sure his father would be there in the kitchen, haggard as he consoled a cup of coffee and only looking up to order him and his brother to pack their things and get ready to leave. Fear that they would have everything ripped out from under them violently. It was a mystery, where their dad was.
Swallowing, Sam longingly stared in to Dean's sleep deprived eyes and wished for their intensity back, for some truth just for once. Wished Dean would admit to hurting as much as Sam was over all this. Dean was Dean though, and he smiled with a soft glint in his eyes and slight cockiness to his features as he tilted his head to the side and ruffled Sam's hairs.
'Old school black and white horrors kiddos, things you wouldn't expect to the see on the big screen in your lifetime.' And then Dean is gone, walking down the aisle a little quicker as Sam's heart sinks a little and the fears eat at him a little more, reminding him this can only be temporary. His father had to be around that corner, waiting for the right moment to pounce and smash all this tranquillity to pieces.
As they drive back home, boot stocked with junk food galore, Sam thinks about how much he enjoys living like this. Likes having a bedroom to make his own, a family room and a dinner table to sit around and enjoy his dinner at, or tackle his homework on. Enjoys the home cooked meals over the take out menu or the laundry that doesn't require coins. This is what Sam dreamed of at night when they lived on the road, moving from hunt to hunt.
What he loved the most, though he would never admit it to Dean out of fear he would be mocked, was staying at the same school. He had never had a friend over before, he was a little unsure on he was meant to do when they got home, if they were meant to crash out on the lounge room floor and watch television, cartoons and movies. Or whether they should play in the yard, play hide and seek amongst the cars and throw a baseball or football around on the sparse grassy patch. Maybe they were supposed to hassle Dean and hang around him like lost puppies until he caved and did something with them.
Sam liked that idea, making Dean apart of something. Dean barely left the house and didn't seem to have made friends yet. Unlike Sam who had quite a few now. He even considered hassling Bobby with something like playing a board game with them as they pulled up in the drive way.
Slamming the door shut Dean stifled a wide yawn as he moved to the boot and popped it open, revealing the goodies. Bobby was going to skin him alive for bringing this much junk food in to the house. It was a fact they were both becoming more then aware of, that Sam was not so immune to high that came with a sugar rush. They tried to avoid loading him up with too much of it, as the three months had worn on, Dean had become more then aware of the change in his little brother.
Settling down in one place meant there was nothing to burn the sugar off on, no work out regimes or monsters too fight so Sam didn't have anything to burn off all the excess energy. Though he was still a lanky thin teen who needed to grow in to his body still, Dean didn't want to risk his little brother declining his health.
But today was a special day as Sam ran inside with his friend Tom, leaving Dean to face the shopping bags on his own, not that he minded. When he got them inside he was planning on going for a run, hoping to go long and hard. The exercise was long overdue, and he hated the thought of going out of shape. He wanted his muscle tone and ripped abs and solid muscle back, everything he had lost to the month long trauma of the coma.
Running a hand across his stomach, he could feel the indentation of the scar across his abdomen where the tissue had died away and been replaced by a form of replication padding inserted after his many infections. It was a morbid reminder. One Dean wished he could go without, but at the same time was glad for.
Yawning again, he moved inside with the bags and cast Bobby an apologetic look as the boys swarmed over the bags and ran back in to lounge room laden with sweets and soda. 'Getting him to sleep tonight is going to be impossible, you know that right?' Bobby laughed with a quirked eye brow, smiling at Dean in a fatherly way as he turned his gaze in a loving, paternal way to Sam as he hunkered down in front of the television and packet of chips on his stomach, propped up on his elbows. Tom an identical position beside him as a generic cartoon came on.
'Yeah well thought the kid could use a break, seeing as how this is his first you know…' And Bobby nods, understanding Dean all too well.
'Listen son, I heard you last night… if you need to talk about anything I'm here okay?' Dean nods at Bobby, red flush lighting up his pale features. Didn't think anyone had heard him last night, the pacing or the small whimpers as he had silently let slip a few stray tears. Nightmares are a rotten bitch, he thinks, shaking the image from his head.
'Why do you think dad hasn't been in touch?' He asks suddenly, unable to stop the questions from slipping free of his lips as he bites down on them hard, feeling the worn down skin give a little as a coppery taste seeps on to his tongue, lets his fierce grip go quickly. Bobby casts him a sad weary look, shakes his head.
'Wish I knew son, wish I knew. Better have a good god damned reason when he does though.' And Dean senses the anger and venom in the words, knows he isn't the only one with an issue with John fucking Winchester and his magical disappearing act. The one and only fucking Houdini. 'Is that what's keeping you up at night?' There is hesitance in Bobby's voice and Dean Wishes Bobby didn't sound so hesitant and unsure about talking to him, wishes he was more open and willing to talk; that people didn't approach him like a wild animal.
So Dean tries to be open. 'I don't know.' He tries really hard. 'Nightmares… I guess… Yeah nightmares.' He falters and flails about like a fish on dry land. Feels ashamed that something as simple as admitting he had a bad dream is so hard.
'Want to talk about it?' Dean's great full Bobby doesn't judge him, or comment on how stupid he sounds, strained.
'I just….' A pregnant silence follows, and Dean feels something give a little as he realises he is opening up a little. Doing what needs to be done, what he has never been able to do. He talks. 'I don't know what to do with myself Bobby, I think about going out and making a start at something but then it just comes back down to a phone call that I know is coming. I sit in my- my bedroom-.' He stutters on the foreign word, 'and consider changing it around, and then I think about when he comes back and it won't really matter.'
A hand comes down on his shoulder in a comforting gesture and Dean silently thanks Bobby. 'I know this isn't easy on Sam either, but he's taking it better than me and I want to be able to make this work for him so bad. But again, the phone call, or the arrival and everything can be diminished just like that.' He snaps his fingers in a sharp click and Sam looks over from the television, gets up and comes over.
'Everything okay Dean?' He asks in that teenage brother voice and Dean Smiles at him sadly and pulls him in to a rare and unusual one armed hug that he can tell sends Sam reeling as he leans in to Dean and smiles like a dork.
'Yeah squirt, it's all good. I'll be back in an hour though, going to go for a run. All this good foods making me fat.' He laughs even though he knows he's a good ten kilos under the healthy weight for his height and build. But Sam lets him get away with it and he's glad as Bobby nods and moves to unpack the rest of the groceries, puts them away as Dean goes to get changed.
Up in his bedroom, Dean Looks at his phone; he check for any missed calls and isn't surprised when he sees none. Pressing down the number three he speed dials his father, lifts the phone to his ear and waits patiently for it to click over to voice mail and takes a deep breath. He wants to tell his dad not to come back, not to call him when he finishes whatever the fuck has been more important to him then his children for four months, but he doesn't.
Instead he closes the phone and feels it slide from his grip and clatter on the floor and he sinks forward until his head is resting in his hands and feels moisture leak through his fingers. It's not until he slides down to the ground, legs hunched against his chest that he realises he is crying, really crying and letting loose. The sobs wrack through his body with a ferocity he isn't familiar with and they make him even sadder as it all hits home.
When the tears stop and he shakes against his bed frame, energy spent over the emotion he feels a little empty except for a flame of anger that was burning his stomach and moving upwards steadily. Anger towards his father for doing this to them, making it so they can't live without fear of having everything taken away.
Dean stands up, defiant. As far as he is concerned from here on out John Winchester is dead to him, and he hopes that man doesn't dare show his face here or even consider taking anything from him or Sam again. Not when they were both being offered the chance of normal, of a family.
He just hoped when John did return, he had the strength to hold up to his feelings.
Any good? Slow again, I know. But I really wanted to get in to their emotions a little more before I put John in there. Though I am little unsure whether I want to slide him in to the next chapter, what do you guys think?
