Chapter 7- BPOV

I stood, rooted to the spot and stunned into paralysis. The truth of Edward's blunt assessment of me ran through my veins and I felt white hot tears sting the corners of my eyes. It hurt more than it should, being called a bitch, people had called me it plenty of times before in plenty of different towns, but coming from Edward, it felt so much worse.

I ran down the corridor, into the first toilets I saw and locked myself in a cubicle. I slid down the back of the door, breathing quickly, trying to force myself to calm down. It was not working. I ran a shaking hand through my hair, what was wrong with me? I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, hell, I could barely even think.

Why did I care what Edward thought of me? For the life of me, I couldn't work it out. A quick glance at my watch told me it was nearly half way through bio, but I wasn't going. I had no intention of coming out of the cubicle for at least an hour. Not while I was in this state. And I wouldn't be able to face him anyway.

I pulled my knees to my chest, breathing deep. God, I was so ridiculous, one little snide-y comment and I have a breakdown, I pondered to myself, but that annoying little voice popped up in the back of my head you know it's the person who said it that matters.

"Shut up!" I said aloud to my own mind. Now I really was going mad, brilliant. Just what I need on a day like today I thought.

I bashed my head against my knees a few times, trying to put everything back into perspective again, seeing as it had gone a little haywire since I came to this God-forsaken, damp, green hellhole of a town, I was sure it was never this complicated in all the other towns I stayed in, I went in, did the work the teachers wanted me to and left whenever my Mom clicked her fingers. And now, in the space of a few days, I was embroiled in rumours and arguments, it had to be something in the water that made this stupid town's inhabitants so bloody mental.

Or maybe it's you, Bella, ever think about that? The voice told me again, I gritted my teeth, wishing I could block the whole world out again, like I used to be able to, but which seemed impossible in this town, Forks; urgh, I could barely think the name of it.

It was times like this that I just wanted to scream at everyone, Edward, the teachers, my mom, Mike Bloody Annoying Newton.

Pull yourself together Bella, I thought, don't be so pathetic. Edward Cullen's opinion doesn't matter to you, it holds no interest whatsoever. He's an asshole, an arrogant, annoying, asshole. And any other bad words you can think of beginning with A.

Yes, it does, Bella, you're falling for him, fast. The voice spoke again. I finally got it, these were my shoulder people, my thoughts and the voice; like in cartoons when a person had an angel and a devil on their shoulders telling them what the person should do, angel telling good, devil telling bad. Only I couldn't work out which one was good and which was bad.

Falling for him? After a few days? Wasn't that a bit soon? I was attracted to him, yes, in a way that I had never been attracted to anyone else before, but falling in love, that seemed to final to be true, but why else would his words affect me so much?

I rubbed my hands down my face, such a mess, in a few days, such a bloody mess. It felt hopeless, I felt hopeless, hopeless and unfortunate to be stuck in this town. I swallowed feeling the familiar emptiness in the bottom of my throat, signalling I was about to cry, I didn't even try to stop myself this time, knowing it would be hopeless, just like me.

Tears fell silently, my face barely even moved as it bore the tears of years of repressed feelings, mainly about my Mom controlling my sorry existence, controlling where I live, and forcing me into her stupid moving game.

I left the toilets, tears still falling, not caring if I got caught for skipping bio, but it seemed like it was the end of the day anyway.

My hair fell around my face, with any luck shielding my face from the world. I hoped no one saw me like this, I hated showing weakness, to anyone, so I kept it bottled up.

An arm pulled back gently on my arm, so suddenly, I didn't hear anyone coming up behind me. I turned and was faced with the one person I really didn't want to see. Edward didn't look angry anymore, and his eyes traced the tracks of the tears with sad look in his eyes, I stared at him and he stared back, neither knew what to say, so in the end I had to break the moment. I looked down, "Excuse me." I whispered, my voice cracking a little.

I gently twisted my arm from his grip, "Bella-" He started but I was already walking away.

I half expected/wanted him to come after me and say it was all a big misunderstanding. He didn't.


Sorry, sorry, sorry about the wait for this chapter. There's no excuse for it really but I did have an exam to revise for and I just had braces put on so I haven't had the time to write much, hopefully the next few chapters will be up quicker.

Sorry also, for the length and deep depressingness of this chapter in particular, I suppose that's what you get when you finish writing a chapter at ten to one in the morning while listening to The Fray.

A little disappointed with the number of reviews for the last chapter, a little more this time, pwetty please?

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Bella :)