It's been two days since the meeting, two days with the radio still down and two days of him being constantly surrounded by the troops and having them asking questions about his work and his thoughts on the rouges and basically a constant never ending chatter of voices in his ear. He's barley seen Derek and that makes him feel sad but that feeling isn't something he really wants to explore right now, the troops are awesome and super nice, but he just needs a moment to himself. That's why he finds himself leaving his room first thing in the morning of day 3 to wander the parts of the house that he hasn't been. Instead of turning right toward the stairs when he leaves his room he heads left down the long hall. It's dark in the house and everyone is probably still asleep what with it being 5 in the morning, but from what he's learned, all their bedrooms are downstairs, leaving the 4 rooms down the hall vacant. The first door he tries to enter is locked. The second is a bathroom, the third is a large room filled with books and a record player. He walks inside and shuts the door quietly, dust particles slowly dance under the dim light and for the first time in weeks Stiles lets the perfect silence sink into him and he takes a relaxed breath. Wandering through the labyrinth of stacked and shelved books he runs his fingers lightly over the old spines. It's been about 6 years since he's seen an actual book, everything is computerized now a days. His mother used to love to read, she had always read him stories before he slept or given him a book a month to read once he got older. The first book she had ever given him was when he was six; it was a book of fairy tales. He had read the whole thing in one sitting, getting lost in worlds that always had happy endings, where people found their true loves naturally and coincidentally. He remembers telling his mom that he wanted to find a prince charming of his own one day. She had smiled down at him and stroked his face lightly, kissing his cheek and whispering, "Honey, I want that for you more than anything." At the time he didn't understand why she had sounded so sad, now he did. Finally finding a book that interested him he went and sat on and old pile of blankets in the corner behind a stack of books. He didn't know how long he had been sitting reading for, but the sun had slowly started to rise and illuminate the room through the small window so he figured that it had been a while. He figured he'd have to get up eventually but for now he just wanted a few more hours alone. He was reading Catcher and the Rye and he remembers his mom giving it to him one day telling him that it was one of her favorite books, when he had asked her why she just shrugged her shoulders and said, "I know how he feels." He had just taken the book with a shrug of his shoulders and an "ok". That was the last book she'd given him. He started crying then, didn't even really know what he was crying about to be honest. The loss of his mother, the crushing feeling of knowing that everyone thought he was going to be the one to fix things, how he'll probably never see his dad again, how he will probably never get to find love. He just sits there, stewing in his own rotten self-pity. He doesn't even notice when the door opens and Derek walks in until he feels a hand on his shoulder. He grabs Derek around the neck and pulls him into a tight hug, burying his face into the older man's broad shoulder. Derek's arms immediately wrap themselves around Stiles and his hand strokes along his back in soothing circles. He cries until he can't anymore. Eventually he slowly unwraps himself from Derek and scrubs at his face; angry at himself for being so weak.

"I'm sorry." He sighs out, avoiding Derek's eyes.

"Hey," Derek says quietly, "Stiles... look at me." His is voice soft and concerned. The tone is so sadly foreign to Stiles and he closes his eyes and lets another tear fall before looking down at his hands. "Stiles," He feels Derek's finger under his chin, lifting his face up so he's looking straight into Derek's gaze. "Tell me what's wrong, please. I- I don't… I hate seeing you so sad. I don't want you to cry." Derek's face is sad, dark circles that weren't there a few days ago now underline his eyes. Slowly he slides his hand up to Stiles' cheek, his calloused thumb lightly and soothingly caresses his wet scared face. Stiles lets himself lean into the touch, starved for human contact. It's been so long since someone has touched him like that.

"I'm so-"

"Don't you dare say that you're sorry Stiles! You are strong, but it's dangerous holding everything in like that for so long… it's ok to let it out once and a while."

"It makes me feel weak."

"It doesn't make you weak, Stiles. It just makes you human." Stiles stares at Derek, really looks at him then. He has really beautiful eyes, grey flecked with green and brown; he has a light coating of stubble along his jaw making him look older and serious. His lips look soft and really, really nice. Derek licks his lips then and Stiles blinks looking back up into his eyes, his face now flushed. Derek's eyes are wide now and pupils slightly blown, Stiles knows his face his probably just as flushed, eyes just as wide. He doesn't really understand what's happening and why he's feeling the way he's feeling, heart racing in his chest as Derek bring up another hand to cup his face. He licks his own lips, Derek's gaze blinks down following the slow movement of Stiles tongue then looks back up and starts to lean in. Stiles' breath is heavy and he can't think straight, all he knows is that he really wants Derek to kiss him right now. He decides that Derek's taking too long and closes the distance between them. The kiss is slow and beautifully uncoordinated as they explore each other, Stiles opens his mouth letting Derek lick his way in and his own tongue slides along Derek's feeling the heat of their mouths pressed together. Leaning in Derek slowly and carefully lowers Stiles to the floor so he's now laying on his back, Derek's weight lightly pressing into him and Stiles knows that he's trying to hold back. He nips at his bottom lip before breaking the kiss causing Stiles to let out a quiet whimper of protest but Derek trails kisses down his neck, sucking and licking at his pulse point. Stiles can't help but thrust up as Derek bites down on his neck, probably leaving an impressive hickey, Derek moans and Stiles can feel the hum of it vibrate through his whole body. He grabs at Derek's face, needing to be kissing him again. Derek lifts his head from Stiles neck but not before licking and kissing the tender skin once more. He presses soft kisses against Stiles' forehead, nose, cheeks and eyelids before finally kissing him hard against the mouth. His weight becomes heavier and he stars to grind down, Stiles spreads his legs wider and stars meeting Derek's small thrusts with his own, both looking for friction to ease their erections. Stiles thinks that he's probably going to come in his pants just from this when a loud gunshot comes from down stairs.