Chapter 6: Meet Me Halfway
Craig
I had this whole spiel planned out, ready to argue my point with him, to give him my point of view.
And then he was making reasons, making excuses, and then he kissed me. It was like he just ran out of words to explain himself, to give his point of view.
And he kissed me.
It felt good; it felt right. And I never wanted it to stop, never wanted it to end.
But, as it always seems to happen, we were intruded upon. Someone was exiting into the Ashworth's back yard.
--
John Paul
My heart was in my mouth, the adrenaline rushing through my system, washing away the deep-seated pleasure of kissing Craig; of finally giving into these thoughts and feelings that I've been harbouring for months.
We were interrupted, just for a split second, and I flew off the handle. Launched myself away from my best mate, to the farthest wall away from the door.
As soon as it opened, the door slammed shut. No one spoke, no one asked if we were alright, or asked what we were doing.
I was breathing so deep I thought I would start hyperventilating. Craig stood up, worry etched across his features. He reached for me, but I evaded his touch – even though, in my heart, it was what I wanted.
I ran home. The heavens opened. And by the time I was back at the pub, I was soaked to my skin, shivering. I disrobed, ripped the bed clothes from the mattress and crawled beneath, mentally berating myself for craving. For wanting him so badly. And now I ache. My heart throbs for him. And as I cried myself to sleep, I kept thinking of how breathtaking that kiss had been, whilst trying to avoid the thought that was at the back of my mind.
The thought, that someday, while come back to haunt me.
That that kiss, mine and Craig's first kiss, was the best of my life.
--
Craig
It's been three days since Hannah's party, three day's since the kiss. And I've been lost. So lost in my thoughts that even my brat sister has noticed.
We're sitting at the breakfast table, cereal boxes, bowls and mugs of tea before us when she brings it up again.
"Prune face, what's wrong with ya? You've not fallen out with your fella already? You've been together for a month and already you wrecked it?"
After she had stopped to get some breath, I finally got a word in edgeways.
"We didn't break, we're still together. Everything's fine with Joey, alright?" I state, shoving more bongo flakes into my mouth, my spoon acting as a shovel.
"Love, ya've been down in the mouth since you got home from Hannah's party. Are you sure something hasn't happened?"
"Yes!" I exclaim, ignoring the rest of my breakfast and rushing from the house.
I arrive at the school twenty minutes early, so I sat around the common room to waste the time. Five minutes before classes started, John Paul arrived. He caught sight of me and rushed off. I got to my feet and chased after him.
He'd vanished into a room, so I checked each room and found in an empty class room. He sighs exasperatedly, so I know that he knows it's me.
I take a steadying breath and decide to take the first step.
"I'm... Are you alright?" I ask, rubbing the back of neck as I take an interest in the window behind his head.
--
John Paul
He asks me if I'm alright... am I alright... I haven't felt right in months. Not since my feelings have become more towards attraction.
"I don't know what I am anymore, Craig. I don't know."
He moves to me, resting his hand on my shoulder, giving me a squeeze of reassurance.
"What was that... what did it mean?"
It means that I love you, that I want you, that I want to be with you – that's what it means. But I thought that to myself, kept it tied away in my head. And then I made up a plan, to lie so much that it becomes the truth.
"It meant nothing, I was drunk, okay?"
"I was watching you all night, John Paul, you had half a bottle of lager all night, and drank more sugary drinks than anything else."
I'm about to snap back at him, my mouth already open to reply, when I fully hear what he's saying to me. He was watching all night. Watching ME all night. I realise that my mouth is still open, and I close it calmly. My hot-headed temper has fizzled out.
"You... you were watching me all night?"
He blushes, such a bright shade of red. And I find it so cute. He rubs his neck, his nervous tick kicking in out of habit.
"...Yeah."
"What does this mean?" I ask, sitting on the edge of a desk.
"I don't know," he quotes me from earlier on.
The class bell rings out and we don't move.
--
We skipped school for the day, and wandered away from the school. We ended up going to the park, just letting our feet do the walking for us.
We slouched on a bench, neither of us speaking. We just sit there, a mind-numbing silence encasing us. I ran my hand through my hair, across my face before crossing my arms protectively across my chest.
"Why did you kiss me?" he finally asks, and I don't know how I can answer.
"Because I wanted to, because I've wanted to for months. Because I can't stop thinking about you. Alright... I've got feelings for you."
--
I typed out the message, quick as I could before I back out due to guilt. It's sent to Hannah in a matter of seconds. So, that's our date cancelled for the evening.
Me and Craig made our way back to the Dog, climbed the stairs to the apartment and scurried to my room.
I sat at my desk, he sat on my bed. And we just watched each other. For what seemed like hours, that's all we did. And, I don't know why, but it calmed me. Both of us freaking out over this thing between us.
I ask if he wants a drink, because I can already see myself losing control and kissing him. He asks if it's a 'drink' drink, and I say it as, and he accepts the offer.
I rush downstairs into the bar to find Darren and mum behind the bar. I grab us both of us a bottle of lager. I make small talk with mum, insult Darren and I'm about to leave, when I hear my name being called out.
I turn to find Rhys sitting at the bar, a half empty pint glass in his hand.
"Hey Rhys. Good party the other night. Great fireworks!" I enthuse, making pleasant conversation with my girlfriends brother.
"Yeah. We were wondering where you'd got to though, you vanished before the champagne had even been opened."
"Oh, I went out back to get some fresh air, it was kinda stuffy inside."
I open the bottles and toss the caps in the trash.
"Well, I better get back upstairs – Craig's waiting."
"Oh, did you not have a nice, long chat at the party?" he whispers, and I suddenly realise something.
Rhys saw us... saw me kiss Craig. The bottles slip from loosened grip and shatter once they make contact with the floor.
"Alright there, JP? Or should we call you a taxi?" Darren calls out before sniggering.
"Yeah, are you alright there... loverboy?"
I think I'm gonna be sick.
