.:Could you whisper in my ear, :.
:.All the things you want to feel? .:
.:Do you love the life you kill? :.
In the end, I decided to take a shower instead of simply drying my hair.
I took my time in the shower trying to make myself look presentable. I had chosen some scary and skimpy night gown Alice had packed for me, and I made sure my legs were shaved. It just sounded like a good idea when I played it over in my mind.
Edward appraised me when I finally emerged, a plate of my dinner in hand. I liked that look in his eyes. It made me feel. . .better than I was. My stomach knotted and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to eat what he had made for me, until I tasted just a little bit of it.
Turned out Edward had made pork chops with diced apples and some sweet tasting cinnamon sauce. He decorated the outside rim of the plate with raw spinach leaves and broccoli.
As I swallowed, I turned my eyes away from the overly thought out meal to look around the room. I still hadn't gotten a good look of the place, in my opinion, and I still wouldn't get a good look.
His photo was stationed on the counter. Or my photo that Caitlin had given me, that Terra had taken of him. Edward's eyes must have followed mine. "That was very nice of her," he said, his voice a sigh.
"Very," I agreed. "If I see her again, I'll have to thank her."
"Without Terra knowing. I get the feeling she rather liked that picture." I turned back in my seat, and he followed suit, watching me with careful eyes.
I hated how his eyes strayed over my cast. They seemed to be drawn there all the time like my frailty was magnetized for his eyes. "Then I should give it back and just take the copy," I muttered, stabbing another piece of pork chop and apple with my fork.
We were silent then, and I desperately felt like I had to break it before he got lost in his mind. "So, you said we would try again," I had to swallow twice as I said this. "I was wondering," I continued and he stiffened, still watching me with carefully guarded eyes, "if there was anything I could do to help you, that is."
He relaxed, smiling in relief. Why should he have felt anxious to begin with? "There was nothing wrong last time, love. It was my fault. And along those lines. . ." It was my turn to tense up, waiting on a word. "Why aren't you mad at me for that?"
My answer came quickly, and I blinked after I said it. I repeated it, amazed that it had come so easily and just like that. It wasn't a lie, just something I wasn't expecting to come erupting from my mouth at that moment. "Because I love you," I whispered, repeating it.
If anything, it was a good mistake at that time.
Edward nodded, eyes smoldering from within. He accepted that? A wonderfully good mistake then. "That. . .makes sense. But. . .you should be a bit more mad at me than you seem to be."
I gasped, then narrowed my eyes. "Edward." He grew still under my stare, apprehensive even. "How dare you say I'm angry with you. I thought I made it clear that I was angry with the situation and how unfair it was."
He nodded again, folding his hands in front of his mouth. Probably so I couldn't see the small smile that would probably be placed there. "Now that I've ruined the mood, I have to say that your help won't be needed that much. I repeat, it was my fault completely, none of your's. And well, I do have a few theories of things that may work. . ." he trailed off, leaning onto his elbow and letting his hands fall away from his mouth.
I was suddenly very focused on the food. It was a very, very good meal I realized. I actually reprimanded my past self for getting into a fit when he insisted on watching the Food Network with Emmett. The pork chops weren't dry at all, and it was a real shame to eat them without the apples or the strange mystery sweet sauce Edward had made while I was showering.
Dang. I could get used to this.
And without my permission, my mind went off into fantasy land.
I could see it quite clearly, the possibility I had touched upon without meaning to. Taking college with Edward, and coming home with loads of projects to do, but it didn't matter because he was there. We could talk all the time, alone without prying ears or eyes, rambling on about stupid human things, and have dinner that he would make for me. I would fall asleep in his arms every night, him humming my lullaby. Perhaps he would compose more songs in his head that would enchant me further into sleep. We could celebrate my birthday and then go to Renee's for Christmas. . .
My mind was absolutely alive with the idea of staying human for a couple more months. Years even. How had that happened? Why had I changed my mind just like that? When the hell had I decided that this was okay, to confound myself like this?
"Oh," I murmured, and I placed the sound that followed as my fork clattering to my plate and then to the ground a few seconds after the fact.
Edward was at my side in a second. Silly, to see him so worried when I was so. . .elated. "What's wrong? Did I not cook it right? Does your arm hurt?" The pain meds were on the table in a flash, tempting but not needed.
Bad Bella, thinking about over dosing again to keep my mind off of something.
"Edward," I began, taking my mind from the dark illegal place the pain meds had brought it to. "You are an excellent cook. I find it hard to believe you did this all from watching Tv." I smiled easily, looking into his strained face. But the worry was starting to ebb away already into simple and plain confusion.
It was a good thing he couldn't read my mind or else he would force me to follow down that path now that some small (I refused to believe it was anything larger than a meager flame of hope) part of me wanted this.
And plus, he would hear just how irritated I was with just how good of a cook he was. That was not fair. I had been making dinner for Renee, when she would let me, and Charlie for years now. I was meager, at best. And here he goes off and without cooking a single day in his life, makes a perfect meal that I would most likely have burned to a crisp on my first try. Just by watching Tv.
Suspicion set in, reminding me that the pancakes, room service food, had tasted excellent too. I stood up, picking up the fork as I did, and walked into the kitchen. I peeked into the trash can when I had put the fork into the sink, only to find it empty and void of what I was looking for. But if he had ordered room service and thrown out the failed attempt to make food, would he have thrown it out in the trash or disposed of it outside? Say, by throwing it off the balcony?
I narrowed my eyes, glaring out at the sheets of rain. Crossing the room as quick as I could without falling, I fumbled with the lock when Edward's hands stopped my one. "Please, love, this kills me. What are you doing? What's wrong?" I was too embarrassed now to even bother with the explanation, so I let him ramble. "It's raining outside, but it will pass shortly and be over cast for the rest of the day until tomorrow. We can go out later, if you like," he said, a hint of sadness in his tone.
Sadness.
Now why in the world would he be sad if I chose to go for a short walk outside, after the rain had stopped?
Forgetting it, I rolled my eyes. It took a minute to form the words in my head, but he was patient, seeing I was at least going to answer. I turned my gaze to the plate of food I had left half finished. "You cooked that?"
"Yes. Why is something –"
I cut him off, clamping my cast over his mouth. It would have hurt anyone else who wasn't solid rock, and I flinched as the pain shot through to my shoulder. "Didn't you hear me say you're an excellent cook?" Had I heard myself say that? He nodded with my arm still on his mouth. He probably didn't take it off for fear he would hurt me further than I just had. "And did you think I was lying?" Now he shook his head.
I pulled my arm away, and skipped back to the table. Well, if he had made it or even if he didn't, it would not go to waste. He seated himself across the table, watching me again. After another half of the half was in my stomach, I asked a question between bites. "So, these theories of your's. What exactly are they?" I looked up from underneath my lashes.
Edward was smiling, trying his best to fight it off and only half way succeeding. "Well," he trailed off for the second time, leaving me hanging on one word for damn near thirty seconds. I took another bite in that time, chewing it and savoring the flavor, as I glared at him. "I would have to show them to you, to be honest." Why did he sound so unsure of himself? It took a second for that to sink in, and then I understood, perhaps on some unfathomable region of my mind where those ideas had come from, why Edward would be nervous.
"I don't suppose you would want to test them now?" He eyes were looking pointedly on my plate.
I slammed my new fork down (Edward had retrieved it for me as I had sat down after my little episode), taking a deep breath to clear my head. It was too much. An eye brow raised, asking a question my heart couldn't bear to hear spoken aloud. "Well?" I demanded, trying to make my face turn to a mask of impatience rather than that of surprise and want.
The bed covers hit my back so fast I wasn't prepared for it. My breath exhaled in one huff, and I heard his soft voice near my ear. "If I hurt you, you have to tell me. I don't want any broken bones this time, Bella." His gentle kisses trailed down to the crease in my arm, and then he laid them at my sides as he turned back to my face.
His lips had a careful edge to them as they molded around mine. A chill ran up my spine at his tongue began to trace my lower lip, but stayed out of my mouth. Incoherent, my thoughts jumbled together to remind me that he couldn't actually use tongue; his venom might have some sort of effect on me if I were to swallow it. But the thoughts were banished as I lifted my right hand from my side and twisted its fingers into his hair.
He didn't stop kissing me though my arm was clearly being disobedient.
His hands, however, framed the outline of my body, gentle as a caress. They traveled once down, and then up to grab my arm and put it carefully back down where it needed to be. Then, he placed them back on my ribs, and traveled, torturing me with his slowness, down my stomach. I felt him smile on my lips, and he pulled his face away to my jaw as I gasped for breath.
My skin was on fire. My body, a live wire with every nerve ending on high alert. He stopped around my hips, and his breath caught as he pulled tight on the hem. It snapped, and slipped off easily. I liked destroying the clothes Alice packed; it was like a little revenge from us to her.
We left off where we were so rudely interrupted last time with my stupid arm getting in the way. This time, things went the way I had planned them to go. Perfectly.
For the record, they were wonderful theories.
.:Could you whisper in my ear, :.
:.All the things you want to feel? .:
.:Do you love the life you kill? :.
..: Really short, but I'll make up for it by releasing the next one quicker. Promise. :..
..: Okay, one of the stupid reasons I didn't like Breaking Dawn was because the scenes where Bella and Edward slept together were so vague it didn't even seem like romance. They kinda just came out of no where. Should have lead up and then...CUT before it got too intimate. Here, don't expect M rated hot love scenes, quite frankly because I still can't write them (man-o-chevets. . .I just turned 15 for Criven's sakes). And also because this is rated Teen. If I went over a Teen rating, in your opinion, please tell me in your review. I'd rather not get in trouble over these sorts of things. Apologies again, but you'll have to deal with the little space I left here and let other mature fan fictions fill in the blank for you. I've gotten you half way there. And Bella getting all banged up? That seemed pretty realistic. Overall? I liked the first book I guess. Up until the point where it got all . . . fan fictiony that is. :..
..: Yes, that means Bella isn't having a child in this one. Don't expect that kind of crap from me, in the least. Don't review, telling me it's possible. I don't care if it is. It's stupid. Other fan fictions maybe, and that's cool, but not in this one. I have another outrage coming up that may also be defined as stupid, but is still quite possible and could have been done in the book. :..
..: 'Slide' by Goo Goo Dolls :..
Sammy-Cullen - Well. . .thanks! Personally, I think it would be a bit weird if her plot had followed mine even remotely. It's only borderline to her's in the beginning, I swear. I think I would have cried too, claiming copy right. 0.o For what it's worth, I like my plot. Original, and yet still plausible.
Violette de Musique - :wince: I'm afraid I can't. Unless you have a gaia, subeta, or even a neopet account, I can't talk, although I would love to, believe me. My e-mail is out of the question. Too risky for my parents to find out that I'm on here, and you don't want that to happen. It means no more chapters. None at all. I'm surprised that people actually liked the book though...I was hoping they wouldn't, but eh. People can have opinions.
Manic-Cheese-Fairy - Okay, I have to admit I laughed when I read the name of the reviewer. But I stopped when I read what you had to say. Thanks. I'm not junk! :beams:
