**Ok so this was originally supposed to be two chapters...I know my chapters are pretty short so I made it one longer one. I hope it flows well and doesn't jump around too much. Thanks for my new reviews! You guys are great, I'm learning from your comments and really appreciate them!**

A few days went by and I didn't hear from or see Jax. It only made me feel worse about what had happened. I wondered if he had told Gemma that my mom had tried to have sex with him. That would ruin my mom's friendship with her for sure and send her towards rock bottom when we had barely been here a month. I figured I had either pissed him off by telling him nicely to butt out or had scared him away when he got a glimpse into my dysfunctional life.

My mom had woken up that Sunday and acted like nothing had happened the night before. She usually didn't remember anything she did when she was that drunk and if you tried to bring it up or tell her she would get angry and deny it. I was off so I knew she didn't go anywhere that day. She mostly just slept it off and kept it low key.

For the past few days I had been working and trying to keep busy to keep my mind off of things. I didn't want to over analyze but I couldn't seem to keep my thoughts from drifting back to that night and Jax leaving. I felt terrible about the whole thing from beginning to end.

When I got home from work on Thursday my mom had left me a note saying she was out shopping with Gemma. I felt a slight sense of relief knowing that Jax had not said anything about my mom's advances. I hoped he realized she really didn't mean them. I had just put my purse down when I got a call from Donna. She wanted me to go out to eat with her and the kids. I jumped at the opportunity wanting to get out of my house and also maybe get some info on Jax. Donna picked me up and we went to a local family friendly restaurant where the kids could be kids and we wouldn't have to deal with other patrons stares when they crawled under the table or leaned over the booth to see who was on the other side.

"Thanks for coming out with us," she said after we had placed our orders.

"No problem, I'm glad you asked me, I would have had a boring night of sitting on the couch ahead of me," I said with a smile.

"Oh, well in that case we should go out more often," she said grinning, "this week has been so hard though with Opie being gone. The kids are a handful and I don't always like to ask his parents for help."

"Where's Opie?" I asked knowing this hopefully would answer why I haven't heard from Jax. Although I was scared to learn that it was just that he didn't want to deal with my shit.

"Oh, him and Jax had to go on a trip to get some foreign parts for a few high priority cars they are working on. Apparently it's hush hush because the owners of the cars are high profile people. I was thinking he would be home by now but apparently not," she informed me, "Have you and Jax been talking?"

"Not really," I said to her and realized maybe she was fishing for some information on where they were too.

"I hope I didn't scare you away from him," she started, "I just wanted to give you the heads up on his reputation since you just moved back. And I also wanted you to know how hard it is being with someone in the club."

"No, I'm glad you told me those things, but honestly there's nothing going on between us," I told her.

We ate and chatted for a while longer before we left. We stopped at a park on the way back to my house so the kids could play and hopefully tire themselves out. When she dropped me off at my house my mom's car still wasn't in the driveway.

"Let's hang out again soon!" Donna called as she was backing out.

"Ok," I said and waved goodbye.


My cell woke me up and I glanced at my clock. 2:12 am.

"Hello?" I croaked into the phone.

"Ashley can you pick me up?" my mom asked me.

"Sure mom, where are you?" I was glad she had the sense to actually call this time.

"I'm at Teller-Morrow, at the clubhouse," she said. Shit. So that's where she'd been hanging out. No wonder Jax kept bringing her home. "There are cops out tonight and I just don't want to chance it."

"No, I want you to call me mom, I'll always pick you up," I said hoping to get my point across to her.

I splashed some water on my face in an effort to wake myself up a little and headed over to where she was. I had forgotten all about the clubhouse. My dad used to bring us here sometimes when they had parties for the families. When I walked inside it looked practically the same as I remembered, only now it was littered with skanky women and drunk men, the side that I never saw. My mom spotted me right away and grabbed me before I had time to really look around.

"I'm so glad you're here. I have been wanting to leave for two hours now." She said holding my arm and hurrying outside. She didn't seem very drunk for once.

"You could have called me, is something wrong?" I asked her.

"No, I was just waiting for my friends to come and no one was around except for some crow eaters who were giving me the evil eye all night," my mom informed me.

"Crow eaters?" I asked.

"Yeah it's just a term for a woman who sleeps with SAMCRO's members."

Hmm, how would I approach this. "So what are you considered there? A friend?" I imagined she was most likely a crow eater. I'm sure it was hard for the originals to see her down there like that having known my dad so closely. I would think they would still have respect for him but who knows.

"Yeah I guess a friend," she answered.

"I don't know mom, maybe you should go to Gemma's house more or find something better to do than hang out there. It didn't look like a great place for you to be," I said hopefully.

"Gemma is married and I'm not," she said and then was silent the rest of the way home.


The next morning I decided I would walk back to Teller-Morrow and drive my mom's car back home. It wasn't too far, definitely less than a mile and the weather seemed perfect. As I turned the corner into the shop I spotted her car pretty close by so I figured I could just get in it and leave, avoiding all chances of receiving a judgmental stare. But as I approached it I didn't get so lucky.

"Ashley!" Gemma shouted. She was leaning out the office door and when I looked up at her she motioned me to come in with her finger.

I walked into the office and she sat down behind a desk reclining a little in her chair and crossed her legs.

"Have a seat," she said motioning to a chair near me. I felt like I was getting in trouble for some reason.

"Hi Gemma," I said with a polite smile, trying to lighten the mood.

"So Ashley, how are you doing?" she asked me leaning forward on her elbows, her hands together tucked beneath her chin.

"I'm doing great, I got a job at a flower shop and have been saving money…." I started.

"No sweetheart, how are you really doing?" she interrupted with a stern stare that pierced right through me. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat not sure what she wanted me to say. She gave me a moment before deciding to just put it all out there.

"Jax told me about your mom," she started. Great. "He said it's pretty bad over there. I had my suspicions but I honestly haven't seen her where she can't handle herself."

I just sat there. I didn't know what to say, I wanted to lie but I knew there was no fighting it.

"Have you tried talking to her?" she asked.

"Yes." I answered.

"How long has this been going on?" she questioned still staring intently.

"Since my dad died," I answered. She seemed to realize that I really didn't want to talk about it.

"Listen sweetheart, if you need anything you better call me," she started, "I'm going to talk to your mom about this. I am going to make it about what's going on at the clubhouse. We'll start there and see what happens. But if there's one thing I know, you cannot handle this alone anymore Ashley."

I had been here before. Eleven years of being here. People offering help and then when it becomes too much to handle they take off. I knew the possibility of her getting through to my mom was slim to none and I honestly wouldn't be getting my hopes up. I also knew there was no fighting her on this so I should just go along with it.

"Thanks Gemma," I said with an uncomfortable smile getting up. She came over and hugged me.

"Remember to call, that's an order," she whispered into my hair. I pulled back and gave her a small smile before walking out of the office.

When I exited her door I noticed Jax sitting on a stool smoking right outside. He stood up and flicked the cigarette away and turned towards me. He wasn't smiling but instead looked very serious.

"I had to tell her. They are friends Ashley. I thought maybe she could get through to her," he said, his head was held up high and the way he stared down at me was slightly intimidating.

"That's ok. It's kind of a hard thing to hide anyway," I said shrugging.

"How is everything?" he asked.

"Everything's been fine since then," I said.

"Oh really?" he said looking towards my mom's car in the parking lot. I didn't know what to say to him. He wouldn't believe it anyway. I just looked away.

"This has been on my mind since the other night," he said. I felt guilty.

"I'm sorry you had to see that. She doesn't mean what she says when she gets like that. She doesn't even remember." I told him.

"No, I'm sorry you have to see that," he said and it seemed like he was frustrated.

"Jax, church!" someone yelled across the parking lot. Jax sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. "We're not done talking about this ok?" he said turning and heading inside. It was more of an order than a question.

I got into my mom's car and seriously thought about driving as far away as I could from this place, leaving her behind to fend for herself. I thought about it so often that I wondered if something was wrong with me. How could someone be so willing to leave everything and everyone they know and start fresh again somewhere new? How could someone turn their back on their own mother? I went home to drop off her car and then went back out for a walk. The air was crisp and clean. I could hear the wind blowing through the trees and it felt so soft on my skin. I willed myself to think of my life as something it wasn't. I could picture it so clearly in my head that I felt I might trick my brain into believing it was actually real.


The next day I got home from work and immediately changed into my little plaid shorts and white tank top. For some reason no matter how comfortable my work clothes were I always had to change as soon as I got home. It was just one of those comfort things. As I came out of my room my mom had come barreling into the house like a mad woman. It didn't take me long to realize that Gemma had chose today to be the day to have her talk with my mom.

"Who do you think you are talking shit about me to everyone?" she said pointing her finger in my face. I could smell the alcohol on her breath so she must have made a pit stop on her way here after leaving Gemma's.

"What are you talking about mom?" I asked. One thing I never did was talk shit about her to anyone. I spent my whole life avoiding talking about her if at all possible.

"Gemma confronted me saying that I have a drinking problem and I need to get help," she spat at me getting really close to my face, "There's only one person in my life who talks that way and that's you!"

I backed up to get some distance between us and tried to talk to her calmly. "No mom it wasn't me. Maybe she just noticed you had been going out all the time, I don't know."

"You stupid bitch, don't lie to me!" now she was yelling, the veins in her forehead promised to burst right through her skin.

I decided to go to my room and shut the door to allow her to calm down but she was not having it and pulled me forcefully back to the living room by a chunk of my hair.

"Stop mom!" I shouted pulling away.

"You think you can ruin my life here. It's always about you right? Everything's about you!" she yelled this time jabbing her pointer finger into my chest over and over. I swatted her hand away.

"Maybe she's just concerned about you, did you ever think about that?" I started backing up again and was trying my best to diffuse her, although my rage was starting to bubble up inside of me.

"You're such a loser. Always so jealous of me, you want to destroy any ounce of my happiness." She picked up a ceramic ashtray and threw it at the wall.

"You're insane!" I yelled at her, my adrenaline pumping and ran towards my room. She ran up behind me and grabbed my arm, her nails scratching and pinching my skin. I twisted away and ran to the opposite side of my bed.

"You stupid bitch, you stupid, stupid bitch," she was screaming like a lunatic now. She picked up my mattress and tried to push it at me but it was too heavy for her and just slid towards the floor. She screamed and ran her arm across my dresser slinging my things off at me one by one. I jumped over the box spring and ran barefoot towards the front door. That's when I noticed the banging coming from the other side of it. With her running up behind me I opened the door hoping maybe the police had heard us fighting. But it wasn't the police. It was Jax. His face was hardened and his jaw was clenched. He didn't even look at me and walked straight up to my mother's face.

"GET THE FUCK IN YOUR ROOM, NOW!" he shouted at her thrusting his finger down towards her face. I stood there frozen at what was happening around me. Lorraine went into her room and Jax looked at our living room eyeing the ashes covering the wall and the broken pieces of ceramic littering the carpet. He went into my room and I imagined how bad that looked. My mom screamed from her bedroom doorway.

"You got your boyfriend to defend you now you little whore?!" she yelled out. Jax came out of my room with a look of sheer disgust and headed straight into hers. "SHUT THE FUCK UP" the way he yelled at her even scared me. She went quiet and he came out of her room and headed towards me.

"You're coming with me," he said and pulled me out the door with him.