A/N: It's been forever, and for that, I apologize profusely! Here's a thousand and one thanks to anyone still interested in this. This chapter's for you.

Oh, and it picks up the day after the encounter with Booth's dad. Enjoy, and leave your thoughts!


Booth cracks open the door of the guest bedroom and peers inside. Behind him, Bones tiptoes to stare over his shoulder, her breath hot and distracting in his ear.

"Stop that," he whispers.

"What?"

"Breathing down my neck. It's…"

"Seductive?" she fills in playfully, kissing the edge of his jaw, just under his dark bruise from the day before.

Groaning, he glances back at her and fights the temptation to just sweep her up in his arms and carry her back to their room. Instead, he forces his eyes back to the form of his sleeping son in the guest bedroom. "You have no idea, Bones. But we've got important things to do, so stop it."

"We told him the news yesterday," she replies, pressing up against his back so that he can feel every curve against his muscles.

Trying to ignore her and partially failing, he mutters, "But my dad and brother made a mess of things yesterday. I want to make sure Parker understands what's going on."

"All right. Then let's tell him again."

She moves to push past him, but he grabs her around the waist and pulls her back. "Wait, wait, wait, you can't just go in there and break the news to him just like that, Bones."

She sends him a quizzical look. "But that's what you did yesterday."

"Parker's a kid," he explains. "He doesn't understand some adult things, okay? So we've got to have a game plan."

"Oh." Her face lights with understanding. "Adult things like sex."

Booth rolls his eyes and smiles. "Yes, like sex. So let's avoid that subject and tell him in kindergarten terms, okay?"

"Oh, okay." Her brow furrows for a moment as she thinks, and he has to wonder whether it's a good idea to let Bones speak at all. She does have a knack for being tactless, after all. But she's the mother of his child, so he's going to have to get used to tactless. Might as well start now.

Pushing open the door the rest of the way, he tiptoes into the room, pulling Bones by the hand behind him. They stop by Parker's bedside, and Booth smiles fondly as he stares down at his son, tangled in the bed-sheets with one sock missing. Bones grins and pulls his sleeve, pointing to Booth's own bare foot. Like father, like son.

Booth raises his hands and mimes tickling over Parker's still form, and Bones nods with a mischievous grin. On the silent count of three, they both dive into the bed, grabbing and prodding at his son. Within seconds, Parker comes awake with a shriek, batting wildly at his assailants. "Dad! Stop it! Stop it!"

Booth laughs gleefully and pointedly ignores him. "Rise and shine, kiddo. It's almost ten in the morning. Come on, wake up."

"I'm awake!" Parker shouts. "I'm awake!"

Booth grins across his victim at Bones. "Does he sound awake to you?"

"Yes," she replies promptly. But at his mock-glare, she adds uncertainly, "But in the interest of the activity, I should say no?"

Boy, is she getting good at understanding his looks. Beaming, he says, "Good girl!" and with silent agreement, they both tackle Parker again. He screams and struggles, and by the end of their little wrestling match, Booth and Parker both end up on the ground with the covers tangled between their legs, and Bones is standing above them laughing.

Panting, Parker says a bit grumpily, "I hate it when you do that."

Booth laughs and ruffles his son's curls. "Get up earlier, and I won't have to resort to that." Sitting up, he pulls the blanket out from under them and tosses it on the bed. "Listen, Parker, Bones and I have to talk to you for a second."

His son yawns and rubs his eyes. "Okay." Then he glances at Booth fully and pauses to stare. "Dad, your bruise looks even worse today."

Grimacing, Booth touches his cheek. It still throbs dully, but between Bones' constant ministrations and the ice packs, it doesn't feel too bad. It certainly looks worse, though, what with its purple and yellow edges. "I've had worse," he assures Parker. "I'm fine."

"He certainly has," Bones agrees.

She seems about to launch into a detailed explanation, but Booth cuts in. "So, Parks, we're going to be serious for a second, okay? Bones and I have something to tell you, and I want you to listen carefully." He pauses and takes Bones' hand to pull himself to his feet. He keeps a hold of her fingers as he turns back to his son and says, beaming wide, "Bones is pregnant, and you know what that means? You're going to be an older brother!"

Parker grins back at him. "I know that."

Not the reaction he was expecting. Booth's brow furrows. "What?"

"I heard you tell Uncle Jared yesterday," Parker says nonchalantly. "Sounds great!"

Booth glances at Bones, who bends down and says, "Well, Parker, you must have a few questions."

To the surprise of them both, Parker shakes his head. "Nope. I pretty much get it all."

The two adults exchange glances, Booth half-baffled and Bones just blank. Turning back to his son, Booth asks, "You get what?"

"Well," Parker says matter-of-factly, "you made sex with Bones, and now you're having a baby."

Booth is ninety-nine percent sure that his heart stops for ten full seconds. Next to him, Bones shoots him a wide-eyed look, so startled and confused that he knows she has nothing to do with Parker's knowledge of making sex. He must be hallucinating. He must be having a nightmare of some sort because in no real world would his sweet little ten-year-old kid know about sex.

"Parker," he says finally, his mouth dry, "where did you hear that?"

"Connor Hartley at school," his son answers with a shrug. "He told me and a bunch of other kids about it. Apparently, his mom and the neighbor next door do it all the time."

What kind of school is this? Who is Connor Hartley, and what's that kid's address, and where is Booth's gun? Introducing his ten-year-old to rated R topics should be a capital offense. It should be punishable by death. Booth should hunt that kid's parents up right now and demand what sort of things their son has been exposing his son to. It's unbelievable. Unbelievable.

Parker knows about sex?

"It's okay, Dad," Parker says, noting his father's slack-jawed expression. "I get it."

"No," Booth says, shaking his head vehemently. "It's definitely not okay. You're not supposed to know about that. Any of that."

"But I do know."

"But you shouldn't."

"I doubt saying anything will erase the knowledge from his mind," Bones points out. "At this point, the best thing to do would be to ascertain how much Parker knows and to caution him against exploring more adult activities until he is of age."

Booth gapes at her. "How can you be so calm?"

She gives him a steady look. "I compartmentalize very well, Booth, you know that. I'm just stating the most logical course of action."

Of course. Logical. Right. They should focus on damage control. Intense, brainwashing damage control.

But still…Parker knows about sex. He can't tear his thoughts beyond that.

Parker shrugs. "Is it a big deal? Everyone knows about it."

Booth wonders exactly how much Parker knows. He can't possibly know everything, can he? Best case scenario: that's all Parker knows. Maybe he knows the words but not the actions. Hopefully. Worst case…Booth doesn't even want to think on it.

He takes a breath and forces himself to calm down. "Parker," he says evenly, "it kind of is a big deal. Sex is a bad thing, okay? It's a very bad thing."

"But Connor said his mom does it all the time."

"It's very bad," Booth insists, looking his son solemnly in the eye. "You shouldn't talk about it or do it, understand? And stay away from this Connor kid. He's a bad influence."

"Why is sex bad?"

Just hearing that word come out of Parker's mouth makes Booth squirm. He splutters, "Just because!"

"But why?"

Well. Booth stands there and opens and closes his mouth. What plausible reason can he make up on the spot that doesn't reveal anything of the nature of sex? He isn't prepared for the sex talk. He thought he'd have at least five years for that. More, if he could help it. So right now, his mind is painfully blank, leaving him staring down at his son in frustrated silence. Birds and bees, birds and bees…

"Because," Bones cuts in smoothly, "sex is the process of reproduction in which the genetic traits of the mother and the father are mixed in order to create a fetus that will one day become a baby. DNA—which stands for deoxyribonucleic acid—is exchanged in a process called meiosis, which results in a set of mixed chromosomes that contain the combined genetic material of both parents. This will grow into a fetus, and one day, into a child."

Parker's eyes are sort of crossed from Bones' casual throw-around of scientific mumbo-jumbo. Booth stares at her in half-horror that she's talking so candidly about sex, half-confusion at all the words coming out of her mouth. But then, when he glances back at Parker's bewildered expression, he understands and hides a grin.

"That's what sex is?" Parker asks, his voice puzzled. "Connor didn't make it sound like that."

"Of course, that is sexual reproduction for humans and other vertebrate creatures. Plants, for example, have a different process of insemination called pollination. Pollen, from the stamen of a flower, is carried by various means to the carpel of another flower and is transported from there into the ovule, where seeds are formed."

"Plants have sex?" Parker sounds positively scandalized. "Gross!"

"That's right," Booth says matter-of-factly, smothering a smile. "Sex is boring and very bad, got it? Unless you want a little baby of your own, of course…"

Parker's face scrunches up and he shakes his head furiously. "No way! Babies are gross!"

"That's right," Booth says solemnly. "Except Bones' baby, because it's going to be the most adorable thing on the planet."

Parker seems to consider this for a moment. Then he says reluctantly, "Well, I guess if Bones had a baby, it would have to be super smart and pretty, like she is. But other than that, I hate babies. The last time I had to hang around one, it tried to eat my hair!"

Booth doesn't miss the way Bones flushes in pleasure at the compliment. Giving her hand a squeeze, he laughs and says, "Yeah, so if you want to keep a full head of hair, stay away from Connor Hartley."

Parker makes a face and nods. "Sure." He pauses for a moment, then directs his attention away toward the doorway. "What's for breakfast?"

Later that night, when they're alone after they've dropped Parker off at Rebecca's, Booth slides under the covers of the bed and lets out a heavy sigh. "We dodged a bullet today, Bones."

She furrows her brow as she shucks off her jeans in favor of pajama pants. "I think I would have noticed if someone fired at us."

He grins. "It's an expression. What I meant was, it was close today." He harrumphs and runs a hand through his hair, still wet from the shower he took earlier. "I can't believe Parker knows about sex."

She shrugs as she tosses up the covers to climb into her side of the bed. "Children are much more astute than we give them credit for. I'm sure there are dozens of things that Parker knows that would surprise you."

He rolls his eyes. "Way to make me feel better, Bones."

"That wasn't my intention anyway." Boy, is she getting good at catching his sarcasm. Checking her phone by the bed, she says, "At least he doesn't seem interested in the subject anymore."

Booth remembers again Bones' ingenious deflection. "All thanks to you. That was brilliant, Bones."

She smiles. "I am a world-renown forensic anthropologist. I figured that since you are often bored by scientific explanations, a child would be much the same."

He sends her a mock-glare. "Did you just call me a child?"

"No, I was merely…" At his knowing stare, she relents. "All right, you can be unreasonably childish at times."

"Childish." He pouts. "Really? Me?"

She meets his look evenly. "You are. I can name a dozen examples right now. You never clean up your socks from the floor, you avoid paperwork like a child avoids homework, you—"

He kisses her, hard. It's one of his favorite ways of shutting her up, especially because she doesn't mind it so much either. By the end of the kiss, she usually forgets what she was talking about and they're both too wrapped up to care, so it's a win-win for all. Booth deepens the kiss and leans down over her, one hand drawing circles across her stomach as he nibbles on her lip. She lets out a soft sigh of contentment, and Booth draws back with a wide smile.

"You were saying?"

Bones thinks for a moment, then shrugs. "I don't remember."

He grins. "Good." Leaning down, he kisses her neck and adds, "Because I can think of a ton of things we could be doing instead of talking."

He makes it halfway down her neck to her collarbone when she stops him suddenly by putting both hands on his chest and pushing back. Surprised and more than a little hurt, he pauses and looks down at her. "What? Is something wrong?"

She seems to deliberate for a moment before a slow, wicked smile spreads across her lips. He groans a little in his throat because that wicked smile means he's probably going to have to wait until she says what's on her mind.

"What?" he prompts again, when she's silent.

"It's just that…" She hesitates and bites her lip. His gaze darts down instantly, and when he looks back up, her eyes are pinned coolly on his. She knows what she does to him, and yet she does it anyway. He stifles a sigh and narrows his eyes—she is getting way too good at this seduction thing.

He presses a slow, burning kiss to her wrist, not missing the way her smile falters a bit. "Just that what?"

She raises an eyebrow and carefully removes her hand from his lips. "Just that sex is bad, remember? It's very bad and boring, and we shouldn't talk about it." Her eyes are gleaming with good humor.

He groans and shakes his head. "Bones…"

She gives him that patented innocent look that never works on him anymore. "What? You said so yourself."

"To Parker. We're adults, Bones." He rolls over her and kisses that spot just above her collarbone that makes her gasp. Smiling, he whispers, "I think we can handle some very boring, very bad sex."

She gasps again when he sets his fingers running over her skin. "You think so?"

"If it gets too boring or bad for you," he teases in between kisses, "we'll stop."

She half-glares at him as she digs her fingers into his hair. "Don't stop."

"You're the one who brought it up in the first place." He kisses her lips. "Is this too boring for you? Am I going to have to make this more exciting?"

"Shut up."

Gladly, he thinks as he draws up the covers around them. They have much better things to be doing than talking.