Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...
Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.
"I used to be such a burning example, I used to sleep without a single stir,
I used to be so original.
I used to care, I was being cared for.
Made sure I showed it to those that I love.
'Cause I was about my father's work."
Taken from the song 'Millstone' by Brand New.
As Sirius walked away from Remus and towards his own family he could feel the tension in the air as he got closer. He saw his father, Orion, standing tall and overly proud in his black suit and leaning on his cane. An expression of disgust permanently etched into his aged features... His mother, Walburga, stood in her long wine-red dress and her thick fur coat hanging over her old and frail frame. Her graying black hair pulled into an up-do, her gorgeous clothes nor epic amounts of makeup didn't hide her aging or the ever evident scowl that cut jaggedly across where her mouth was.
"Who was that boy you were talking to?" Orion asked as soon as Sirius walked up.
"He's just one of my friends from school." Sirius looked away. He knew where this was going.
"His mother is a muggle..." Walburga cut in. "...Such filth."
"Mm." Sirius just mumbled with neither an agreement nor disagreement.
"Where's Regulus?" Sirius asked.
"He and Kreacher are already at home, they took the Floo Network. Kreacher carried Regulus' bags, but unfortunately you'll have to bear your own." Walburga's tone went from nonchalant to condescending as she spoke to her son.
"Okay." Sirius said. He didn't want to start a fight, not in public. The screaming matches would be saved for later once he finally came out to his parents. Now that he thought about it, perhaps telling them in public would be best. He would have a lesser chance of being beaten in front of people than behind closed doors...
Walburga and Orion ahead of Sirius and out of the muggle area of the station and towards the large fireplace off to the side. They went through first and then Sirius went with all of his luggage and himself. When he first arrived he thought he was in the wrong house, this room seemed far too bright to be his home. He moved his luggage from the old fireplace in the too-bright-to-be-his-house living room and saw that Kreacher was already at work cleaning the windows.
"Merlin, Sirius. You tracked dust and soot all over the carpet! You're a waste of space, now Kreacher is going to have to clean that too." Walburga stood in the doorway to the hall with her hands on her hips. Oh, yes, this was absolutely his house. "Or, if you prefer, you could get on your hands and knees and clean the floor yourself."
Sirius opened his mouth to retort about how he just loves to be on his knees, especially for his 'half blooded filth' of a boyfriend Remus, but instead he chose his words quickly and closed his mouth immediately. He took his things up to his room and flopped back onto his bed.
"I'm coming in." A voice said before entering.
"What do you want, Regulus?" Sirius snapped at his younger brother.
"I know." Regulus said. This was all he had to say for Sirius to be sitting up in his bed and looking at the smug boy's face.
"You know that you're an insolent little prick? Well, that's good... The first step if treatment is realizing you have problems." Sirius nodded as if that's what his brother was talking about.
"I'd be nicer to me." Regulus walked over to Sirius, who was still sitting on the bed. "I know about you..."
"I know about me too, most of the school does. I'm a very popular person." Sirius nodded once more, an eyebrow raised at his brother.
"No, Sirius. I know about you and that boy." Regulus said finally before a wicked smile broke out on his face.
"So what?" Sirius quipped right back. His expression was straight, showing no fear, but in his head his thoughts were going a mile a minute and he absolutely had no idea what to do.
"I'm going to out to to mom and dad." Regulus smirked. "It doesn't really matter though, does it? This thing with that Lupin boy is just like all those girls. It's just a fling." Regulus laughed before walking out.
"Regulus." Sirius said finally, but his brother was already gone. Sirius stood and paced his room.
"Oh, and dinner is done by the way. They want you downstairs, now." Regulus said as he poked his head into the door frame once more. Sirius just sighed and got up slowly. He hated dining with his parents, all they ever spoke of were 'filthy mudbloods' and 'halfbreeds' and so on and so forth.
"Fantastic." Sirius muttered as he headed down the hallway.
Sirius slowly walked down the stairs and heard his parents talking in hushed tones. He walked through the door and their conversation immediately stopped and the pair separated to sit at either end of the table. Sirius took the seat across his brother and Regulus just smirked at him as he sat.
"Pork, Master Sirius?" Kreacher asked as he held the bowl up towards Sirius.
"Yes, thank you." Sirius mumbled. He wasn't in the mood to eat, but he had to have some sort of distraction from watching his brother watch him.
"Sirius." Walburga started, her voice forever plagued with a tone of anger and distaste.
"Yes, mother?" Sirius looked up from cutting his pork.
"You're father and I..." She started "Have decided that you are old enough to marry and we have hand picked a daughter from another pureblood family."
"You..." Sirius looked from his mother to his father. "Oh Merlin." He mumbled.
"Sirius." Orion stepped in once he saw his wife's face become red with anger. "You are the heir of the Black family and we've decided that you're fit to marry now and we've picked out your future wife."
"No." Sirius crossed his arms.
"You're acting like a child, Sirius." Walburga snarled in her angry tone. "You're going to meet this girl, marry her, and your children will carry on the Black name."
"What do you expect? I am just a child." Sirius placed his palms flat to the table and gaped at his mother. "I am not fit to marry."
"Oh, I'll say you're not." Regulus nodded. "You're a right git, an insane one at that."
"Stay out of it." Walburga, Orion and Sirius all said simultaneously.
"Now, Sirius. Listen to us..." Orion slammed his fist on the table. "You're going to go and meet Ms. Bones at her home in three days, do you understand me?"
"Mmm..." Sirius mumbled.
"I said: Do you understand me?" Orion bellowed.
"Yes." Sirius whispered.
The rest of the meal was in complete silence except for food requests to Kreacher. Sirius poked at his food and finally, without eating as much as a bite, he excused himself from the table and went back into his room. He had no idea how he was going to deal with this. He had to go on the date, if he didn't things would be far worse. He could tell his parents after the date... He'd have to tell them eventually.
"Sirius." Regulus appeared out of nowhere leaning against the door frame to his bedroom.
"Jesus Christ, Regulus." Sirius cursed at him.
"Who's 'Jesus Christ?'" Regulus asked, still leaning.
"Oh, I don't know. It's just something my friends say at Hogwarts.
"You mean it's what you boyfriend says when you..." Regulus smirked as his brother glared at him harshly.
"Shut up, Regulus." Sirius snapped.
"You'll have to tell them sometime. They've set you up for marriage to that Bones girl." Regulus rolled his eyes. "You'll have to tell them that you're a prancing ponce, or a gallant gay, or fabulous fag, or..."
"Didn't I just tell you to shut up?" Sirius snapped once more. He hated his brother. He hated the whole lot of his so called 'family.' Perhaps he would just skip out on the date and take James up on his offer.
"You did, and I didn't really listen." Regulus shrugged. He was now sitting in the gold and maroon striped armchair in the corner of Sirius' bedroom.
"I hate you." Sirius whispered. "I hate you, I hate you. I hate you." His tone had gotten progressively louder and more harsh. "I hate you. Now get out." Regulus just cocked a brow and left his brother to stew.
Sirius opened the window of his bedroom and called his owl, Armanth. The great brown owl flew in and shook the snow off of his feathers. Sirius pat his head and opened the cage on top of his dresser to let him relax while Sirius wrote his letter.
Dear Remus,
I haven't told my parents yet. In fact, they've set up a date for me...
Not just any date— one to my 'future wife.'
So, as you can see, coming out isn't going well.
I hope it's going better for you than it is for me.
Love,
Sirius
He folded the parchment and wrote Remus' full name on the front and grabbed another piece of parchment from his desk. Thank Merlin for James. He wrote a letter to the other boy telling him his plans for leaving this Hell hole of a home. Sirius stood and tied both letters to the owl's leg and the great bird took off into the dimming sunlight.
Sirius looked at the clock by his bed, it was only eight at night and he felt exhausted. He couldn't stay in the house much longer, his family was going to kill him or die trying. He stripped down to his boxers and put on a pair of loose fitting pajama bottoms and slid into bed.
He stared at the ceiling for a long while, thinking of Remus. He thought of how this ordeal was going for him, if he had told his parents yet or not. He must have only gotten home a few hours ago... Remus may have told them right away, though it's doubted. Remus is not that type of person. He hoped that Remus' parents weren't doing the same thing his own were.
Sirius woke the next morning and stumbled down stairs to eat breakfast. He had toast with eggs and as soon as he finished he quickly went back upstairs to shower and dress for the day. His parents didn't even say anything to him at the breakfast table.
"I'm going out..." Sirius called as he closed the door behind him. He hadn't expected them to respond, nor care, but if they didn't know the consequences would be far harsher than them just not knowing. He walked down the street and looking at the neighboring houses as he passed. They were full of wizard families, just like his own, but they were considered less important according to his family.
Sirius had walked for more than two hours before returning home for lunch. His mother was sitting at the end of the table reading the Daily Prophet and sipping her tea quietly. Sirius slowly ate his lunch and tried not to glance at her every so often.
"What do you think of Lord Voldemort?" Walburga asked her son she set the news paper down.
"Oh, uh..." Sirius stuttered. He wanted to speak his mind, but not so much that it would result in a beating. "I don't know."
"You can't not know. You're a Black for Merlin's sake." She raised an eye brow.
"I don't think he should be hurting people." Sirius said finally. "He shouldn't kill people because they're different than what he wants."
"He's only killing mudbloods and muggles." She said condescendingly. Sirius kept quiet, he knew where this was leading. She was baiting him, and it wouldn't work.
Sirius just looked at his plate of half eaten food and got up. He couldn't bear being with her anymore. She was awful, and her trick questions only made dealing with the woman worse. How could a beast such as herself be willing to take care of children? Perhaps she wasn't willing, perhaps it was all just to keep the bloodline from dying out.
Sirius sat on his bed and stared out the window. He wished James or Remus lived closer, even Peter would be tolerable at this point. He hated the isolation of this house, it had a suffocating feeling. Everything was so dark and looming, it closed around a person and constricted them.
The following two days drug on and felt as though they were the longest days on Earth. Sirius tried to stay in the house as little as possible, and if he had to be there he would hid out in his room and waiting for letters from his friends. Finally, a brown owl and the owl he sent out flew into his room almost simultaneously.
The first letter was from Remus, Sirius couldn't be happier and he nearly tore the letter to bits as he rushed to open it.
Sirius,
I came out, and it went really well.
My family set me up on a date too, and the girl told me that I should just be out about it.
And I did it.
They're okay with it too.
I'm so happy.
I hope it goes well for you, if not you can go to James' like you planned.
I love you, Sirius.
-Remus.
Sirius smiled at the letter. He was so happy that it went well for Remus, he was overjoyed for the boy. If only his own family would be as loving and accepting as the Lupins, but that would never happen. Next, Sirius opened the letter from James and began to read.
Padfoot,
I'll be here when you need me.
Don't hesitate to just show up when you want.
-James
Sirius smiled at the letter and put them both in his desk. He continued repacking his suitcases and added more books, clothes, photos and whatever else he may want in the future. He looked around his room... There was nothing really here for him to want. He never really had anything that was his personally, it was always a family heirloom or something that Sirius really didn't care about in the least. He was finished packing and it was just about five o'clock in the evening. He had two hours to get ready for his date.
"Sirius." Orion called as he knocked on his oldest son's door, then proceeded to come in. "Why are you not getting ready?"
"He's not getting ready?" Walburga shrieked as he pushed past her husband. "Why are you not getting ready? This date is important, you two need to start getting to know one another. She is your future wife."
"No, she's not." Sirius looked at his mother. He looked past his parents and saw Regulus standing in the doorway. His eyes were wide and a look of fear across his face. As much as Sirius disliked his brother, he knew that Regulus feared for him, and Sirius felt the same about him.
"Yes, she is. You are going to get ready and go to that date, right now." Walburga shrieked at Sirius.
"No. I won't." Sirius' tone was flat and solid, unbroken by his mother's harsh words.
"Why is that?" His mother spoke to him through bared teeth. Her eyes filled with anger and hatred.
"Because I'm gay." Sirius said flatly. "And I have a boyfriend, who's a half blooded werewolf. And I fucking love him." Sirius said finally. He threw his head back and laughed maniacally.
"How can you do this to me? First you rebel, now you lie?" Orion glared down at his son.
"Oh, I'm not lying." Sirius shrugged and cocked his brow.
"You're not gay." Walburga spoke scornfully.
"Okay, I'm not." Sirius smiled sweetly at her. "I'm just really like cock and I have a boyfriend... But of course I'm not gay."
"Get out of this house." Orion bellowed. "Get out and never come back. You are not my son."
"We can't let this get out... We can't let them know our son... Our son is-is a homosexual." Walburga said 'homosexual' like she was talking about mudbloods.
"You say it like it's a bad thing." Sirius laughed again before casting the locomotor spell and pointing his wand so the luggage floated out of his bedroom.
Sirius headed down the stairs and even as he stood in the living room, he heard his parents yelling and screaming about what was going on. He was putting his coat on and saw Regulus out of the corner of his house. Regulus just stood there shocked as his brother dressed to leave.
"What do you want, Regulus?" Sirius snapped at him.
"Nothing..." Regulus sounded small and childlike, as if Sirius had really hurt him. "I just..."
"Look, I'm sorry I snapped at you." Sirius looked at his brother. "Seriously, what is that you want?"
"I'll miss you." Regulus pulled his brother into a hug.
"I'll miss you too." Sirius said. He was completely surprised to hear Regulus say that to him. He thought his brother hated him, or at least seriously disliked him. He was wrong. Regulus was going to miss him, and this made Sirius feel guilty about leaving him in this house. Regulus had no where to go, he had no friends who were willing to let him hide out and get away from this.
"Goodbye." Regulus pulled away and let his brother leave. He loved Sirius, he really did. It was just difficult living in a house where only the adult's opinions mattered. Regulus saw how hard it was for Sirius to be different, so to avoid that scorn he had acted like his family wanted... He just hoped that it wasn't making a serious impression and he would be able to move on from what has been beaten into his mind for the past fifteen years of his life.
"Bye, Reg." Sirius smiled slightly as he left. He loved Regulus, he really did. It was just difficult living in a house where only the the adult's opinions mattered. Sirius saw how his parents were changing his brother, and he didn't want the same outcome for him. He was going to be who he was going to be and that was final. He just hoped that Regulus could get away from the lies his parents beat into him for the past fifteen years of his life.
Once outside, Sirius let his luggage drop and began dragging it down the street to the corner. He waited for a while, and soon enough the Knight Bus came at last. He loaded his luggage and told the driver where he wanted to go—where he needed to go.
Author's Note:
There you have it, how Sirius came out to his parents. It wasn't pretty, but it could have been worse. He could have been forced to stay and undergone far worse abuse than the screaming match between himself and his parents.
