"What the fuck?" Kuroko walks in to his office and is rather surprised (but also somewhat irritated) by a rather depressed-looking Aomine who is helping himself to Kuroko's chocolates on his desk and spinning around in his office chair and a trying-to-comfort-but-is-actually-making-everything-worse Kise trying to pat Aomine on the shoulder (which was kind of awkward looking considering that Aomine was spinning around). Kise, being not so subtle, opens his phone and takes a picture.
"He's just depressed because he lost at strip poker last night." Kise responds, "He's been like this for eight hours."
"I can't believe I lost at strip poker, you guys ganged up against me." Aomine mumbles. "I'm the best at strip poker. I beat Momoi like fifty thousand times."
"I don't think that counts," Kise replies, "Playing with five people is a completely different ball-game."
Kuroko places his briefcase on the desk next to his computer. "What happened?"
"Oh, oh, oh, story time!" Kise claps his hands together, "So yesterday, Aomine and I were in our apartment—"
"Wait, you guys live together?" Kuroko asked, "I didn't know that."
"You never asked. Now anyways, back to the story, Aomine and I were in our apartment and Momoi texted him wondering if she could bring her two friends over because apparently they wanted to get out of their date. So of course, Aomine and I quickly agreed. The three of them came over and we decided to play strip poker," Kise continues, "Kuroko, that's such a good idea right? It was my good idea."
Aomine looks at him incredulously before turning to Kuroko, "It was my idea to play strip poker."
"Yeah, but I was the one who came up with the idea that we should all do something."
"Anyways," Aomine continued as he spun around in Kuroko's chair, "the four of them all ganged up on me, so at the end of everything, I was the only one naked. Then Momoi and her friends left without doing much else."
"Oh," Kuroko responds, feeling slightly out of place because seriously, it didn't seem that big of a deal, "Uh…I'm sorry?"
Aomine sighs multiple times before replying, "It was…so humiliating."
"That's great and all," Kuroko continues slowly, looking at the clock that just hit 10:00, "But can you take your humiliation somewhere else? I have to work on my job."
"How rude," Aomine interjects, "Would I leave you if you were having a mid-life crisis? And Kise, if you upload that picture onto Instagram I will fucking murder you."
(#midlifecrisis #roommateprobs #nofilter #nomakeup)
"No, I'm not going to play strip poker with you for practice," Takao yells when a rather depressed Aomine is latched onto his leg. "Let go! I have shit to get done."
"No!" Aomine yells from the ground, "You are the worst little shit I know, you probably know some tricks."
"I feel slightly offended by that," Takao says as he tries to pry Aomine's hands off of his jeans, "But also highly honored. Thank you."
Aomine looks at him with hopeful eyes.
"But no, I have to get this outline program to work and Akashi wanted me to work on the official website, so no, I don't have time to humor you today."
"Well, this is by far the most bizarre request I've ever gotten." Himuro smiles awkwardly. With a click of his mouse, he exits out of Buzzfeed's quiz to figure out what type of chicken he is.
"Please, I just need to get four people."
"How many people do you have?"
"One," Aomine shifts in his shoes before adding, "Including me."
Himuro begins typing, "Sorry, I'm busy. I have to work on the official website."
"You're not even writing anything," Aomine points out, "you're just typing the same row of characters over and over again."
Himuro waves him off, "Technicalities. Now, shoo, I'm busy."
"Murasakibaraaa."
"No."
"Okay, will come back with food."
"How did the entire office get sucked into doing this?" Kise asked as the nine of them occupied their usual conference room as Aomine tries to dim the lights ("Why did you dim the lights?" Takao called) with two decks of cards in hand.
"My beautiful persuasion skills." Aomine replied. "Plus a huge chunk out of my next paycheck."
"Aomine said that he'll single-handedly fund an office-wide trip to Times Square if we did this," Akashi explained, "So naturally, I agreed."
"Okay, guys, let's do this." Aomine cracks his knuckles.
After fifty minutes of gruesome yelling, crying, Aomine leaps on the conference table with no shirt, screaming "GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLL" at the top of his lungs, high and victorious.
"Well," Kagami, who's only in his boxers, says, "That was unexpected."
Aomine ignores him and starts dancing.
Kise takes multiple pictures.
(#lookattheseabs #sofab #iworkout)
"This was fun and all," Takao pipes up as he shifts to put on his pants. "But I gotta go work on that official website."
"What official website?" Akashi asks, "There is no official website."
|I Donut Understand Puns|
"I bought donuts!" Takao yells as he enters the break room and sets down a box of the finest of Krispy Kremes. "Come and get them while they last!"
"Uhhohhhh~" Kagami yells as he sticks his head in the door, "Did you get jelly-filled?"
"Oh course I did," Takao replies, "I'll make some coffee."
"I already made some," Himuro says with a grin.
"Woooo~" Aomine yells with his hands up in the air, "Donuts! What a glorious day."
"Save a chocolate one for me," Kise says.
"I thought you were on a diet."
Kise rolls his eyes, "Not with that attitude."
Murasakibara walks into the break room, takes three donuts and hooped them around his long ass fingers before swiftly walking back out without another word.
"Midorima," Takao calls to the greenhead who had walked in to see what the commotion was all about, "Do you want some?"
Midorima looks conflicted before finally shaking his head, "No, I'm not too hungry."
"It's good," Takao holds one up to him. "I got them while I was out on my lunch break."
"Uh—" He's suddenly cut off by various sounds of gagging throughout the break room. Kise, Aomine, and Kagami are on the ground trying to spit out whatever remnants of donuts they may still have in their mouths.
"What did you do to them?" Midorima asks, horrified.
"Oh no," Himuro says, "Here, drink some coffee." He pours some into each of their mugs.
They start gagging again, spitting the coffee out of their mouths.
Midorima turns to Himuro, even more horrified. "What did you do the coffee?"
"Midorima," Takao grins, "Didn't your mother tell you to not waste food? Himuro accidentally bought a huge container of mayo at Costco, so what better way to spread the love than to give them to your coworkers?"
Midorima gulped and whispered, "I knew it. I fucking knew it."
(Later, Murasakibara walked over to Takao, "Those were some really good donuts. What kind did you get?")
A/N This was kind of short, I apologize. My spring break is coming to an end (which is probably the only reason I was able to punch out a chapter a day). I'll still try and write everyday because it actually became a nice way for me to let go and not get too anxious about things (lol). More characters will be added in the following chapters, especially Izuki, so expect to see a lot of puns. Future chapters are probably going to be better than this one, hahaha, this was kinda filler.
Murasakibara doesn't give a fuck, he loves all types of food, haha.
Also, I feel like I should clarify that the characters in my fic are going to be somewhat OOC. It's set in a different time/place, they all have different backgrounds (For example, both of Akashi's parents are alive and Kagami grew up in Japan before being sent to have schooling in the States). They are all college grads as well (Being the little shit that I am, I already picked out which college they all went to, etc). Not only that, but since this is a comedy fic, certain characteristics of each of the characters are going to be enhanced while others not so much for comedic purposes. Thus, certain qualities will probably be overlooked or intensified for these purposes.
Leave a review, favorite, follow, etc. (Imma fucking die if KnB:Extra Game 2 is not scanlated soon aksjdfhlaksd)
