Alice awoke around noon on her own bed, Hatter sitting beside her.

"What.. happened.." mumbled Alice.

"You were knocked unconscious by a flying hedgehog," answered Hatter.

"OFF WITH ITS HEAD!" screamed the Queen.

"A different hedgehog, the Queen's, is going to be executed at 7 o'clock tonight for clinging to the flamingo," explained Hatter.

"…Is she really mad? Because before, when Ches said that, I thought he was joking," admitted Alice.

"Yes, she is mad We all are."

"Am I mad?"

"I'm afraid I don't know the answer."

There was silence for a few moments before Alice spoke again."It wouldn't surprise me if I was, really. Just another unlucky thing to happen to me."

"It doesn't matter if you are, Alice-" began Hatter.

"Yes it does. It matters," argued Alice. "I'm already a freak, I don't want to be mental in addition."

"It doesn't matter," insisted Hatter. "You're perfect. Absolutely perfect."

"You are the only person to ever say that to me. It's not true. Everyone I've ever met on Earth has hated me. The kids at school call me emo, and they tell me to go cut myself... and I do. I'm so weak, I even tear my own skin apart. I'm insane. And it is not okay."

"You don't ever have to go back, Alice," Hatter reminded her. "You can stay here."

"I don't want to stay here," Alice snapped, her mood changing in an instant. "I don't want to stay anywhere. I just want to die, that's all I was trying to do! Stop acting like you even give a shit!"

Alice stormed out of the room, and Hatter was glad of it. No one, ever, had seen her cry before, and Alice shouldn't either. She burrowed herself into the blankets of Alice's bed, wondering how things could have gone so very wrong.

Alice hid herself away from Hatter, curling up within the shadows of the great hall, watching Ches attempt to smuggle the doomed hedgehog outside.

The Queen burst into the room, looking crazed. "The Spade Kingdom has been invaded! Quickly, quickly, Cheshire, we must leave at once!"

"What?" asked a rather dazed Ches. "Why immediately?"

"There is a spy within my kingdom," The Queen told him. "I have only told two people how to undo the enchantments protecting the Spade Kingdom, and one of them I know has betrayed me in the past. Disguise the Jabberwocky! We're going in under cover."

The Queen hurried off. Ches stood there, shocked, for a moment, before rushing away as well. However, in his haste, a key fell off the chain strung around his neck.

"I heard what you said, Alice," Carrot said, emerging from behind her. "And I am afraid you are correct in thinking that Hatter doesn't care; what you must understand about her is that she is never, ever serious. She finds your pain a joke. It was wrong of me to do this, but your happiness should come before my own… I made the key fall off Cheshire's necklace. You are free to go home now, if you wish."

Alice glanced up at the vegetable. He wore the same glum expression as always. "Thank you," she whispered, rising to her feet. "And good luck, with the war and everything."

Carrot nodded. "Just tell the key where you want to go."

Slowly, she rose to her feet and crossed the room to pick up the key. "I want to go home." Nothing happened. "I want to go back to my house on Earth." Then she was falling down the rabbit hole, passing striped socks and violins and an assortment of other odd things that seemed to have gotten stuck there. All too soon she was back to the place she'd been trying to leave her whole life.

Her father was furious with her for disappearing for five whole days, and gave her the expected welcome home concussion with a blow to the back of her head with his fist. After, she crept up to her room with a razor clutched in her hand.

The key had vanished. Alice had clung to it, like she clung to the hope that Wonderland was more than a dream, but both had simply disappeared into thin air. There was only one thing left to do now.

Back in Wonderland, Cheshire, Hatter, and the Queen of Hearts were soaring over the Emerald Sea on the Jabberwocky. The sea was actually not the colour of emeralds, or technically even a sea -it was more of an ocean- but that is unimportant. What is important is that Hatter had thought of a clever disguise to get the four of them (counting the Jabberwocky) inside the Spade Kingdom, which was on the other side of the sea.

"This is the worst idea for a disguise ever, Hatter," grumbled Ches. "It's never going to work."

"Moustaches conceal the soul," Hatter retorted. "They are the finest camouflage we could hope for." Indeed, the four of them were all wearing sleek, black moustaches to hide their true identities.

"Shh, Cheshire," muttered the Queen. "It'll work. We look just like high ranking Clubs, and the Jabberwocky… looks like a horse."

"I'm not sure what kind of horses you've seen," said Ches, exasperated, "but horses usually don't have wings. Or fangs. And they also don't squeal like guinea pigs."

"Oh my Bandersnatch," Hatter gasped. "The Spade Kingdom…. It's in ruins…"

As they approached the kingdom, which was floating on a giant cloud, they could see that Hatter was right. Previously, all the buildings had been made of pure white marble and shining gold, and the grass of liquorice. The air had been sweet and refreshing, and the sound of laughter could be heard almost anywhere. Now nearly the entire kingdom was either burning or collapsing. Terrified screams rang through the air, which was thick with smoke.

"Indeed, Hatter, something isn't right here," agreed the Queen.

"You mean the kingdom is pretty much destroyed?" Ches asked.

"No, I mean it's visible. Before, it was protected by an ancient enchantment that made it undetectable to anyone who meant to harm its citizens," said the Queen. "The enchantment has been undone, as I told you earlier. In addition, since it's ancient magic, no one knows how to do redo it."

"So now we're going to park the Jabberwocky and find a way inside, to collect more information?" Hatter inquired.

"Yes," responded the Queen. "And hopefully rescue the King and Queen of Spades, if they're still alive."

The Jabberwocky landed gracefully outside the gates of the kingdom. By gracefully, I mean it tumbled out of the sky and skidded to a halt that threw its three passengers to the ground. A guard was waiting outside, observing them with interest.

"Hello, guard. We need to enter this kingdom on urgent business commanded by the Kind of Clubs himself," declared the Queen.

" No one's allowed in except the assassin," the guard replied.

"Uhm.. that would be me," said the Queen. "And these are my bodyguards."

"Assassins don't need bodyguards," Hatter whispered in her ear.

"I mean, dogs. A certain breed of dogs, bred especially for assassinating."

Ches sighed audibly.

"…And that's my horse, over there."

There was silence for a moment as the guard's miniscule mind worked through everything the Queen had said and Ches thought about how he really ought to have written a will.

"…Ok," said the guard finally. "The King and Queen of Spades are in the highest tower. His majesty wants both their heads artfully cut off and mounted above his bed."

"Artful beheadings. Now, that's something I'm very good at," murmured the Queen as the gates opened and they stepped inside.