seven.
Haley and Nathan spent every waking hour together; no one could tear them apart. They spent a lot of time with Jamie, basking in the feel of being a family again. Nathan wasn't able to go completely back to his normal life until the doctors okayed a few things as he recovered. One was going back to the NBA and his basketball team, which was sure to take a while. This would've killed the highschool, pre-Haley Nathan, but post-Haley Nathan liked the time off. It gave him time to be with his family, and he knew that his body wasn't ready for it yet. Having so much time to be with his wife and son, however, made him think it wasn't only the state of his body that kept him away from basketball. The doctor also had yet to okay something else that he and Haley had missing…
"What is all this?" Haley sighed in disbelief upon walking into the house, candles lit everywhere and even rose petals leading up the steps. "You are such a romantic," she squeaked happily and went to kiss him.
"I got home from the doctor's today." He was beaming.
Her eyes lit up. "And?!"
"I can show you better than I can tell you," he said playfully as she shrieked and jumped into his arms.
Their mouths met and moved in blissful unity, each of them unleashing the want and lust they had been so valiantly masking. His hands tangled in her hair and she wrapped her arms around his neck, each of their hearts pounding and breathing becoming panting. Haley shrugged off Nathan's jacket as he pulled her sweater over her head and they began moving towards the steps. Haley yelped in surprise when he lifted her up and began to carry her up the stairs. "Are you sure you're okay to do this?" she asked worriedly.
"100%. I told you Haley I'm not going to leave you alone again, and I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that promise."
She smiled as he placed her gently on the bed and positioned himself on top of her. "So how does it feel to be about to have sex with a dead guy?" he smirked.
"Nathan Scott, that is not funny," she gasped, but she laughed anyway and so did he. The movement of their laughter emphasized the closeness of their bodies, and that was the end of that conversation.
Haley snuggled against Nathan's bare chest. "What's on your mind?" he asked and swept a lock of hair away from her face.
"I just can't believe this is real, it's too miraculous, to unbelievable—I'm afraid life will find out how perfect this is now and take it away from us. Take you away from me. And I know I'm being a baby, I don't mean to be such a sap, I'm sorry, I just—"
"Shh, Haley, don't apologize. You've been through an incredibly traumatic experience, one that most people can hardly imagine. This is a normal reaction. I mean, God, if something happened to you…"
She shook her head, not wanting to go there. Silently agreeing to just be happy and cherish the moment instead of dwelling on what ifs, the couple entwined their bodies, receiving the comfort and peace they could only find in true love, what they would only ever find in each other.
After that night, and countless others like it, Haley was finally able to truly sleep, now with him by her side. A few weeks later, with Haley next to him in a deep slumber, Nathan was jerked awake. His eyes flew open, his heart was beating in a jagged rhythm, and he was covered in sweat. He sat up, putting his hands over his head to calm himself down and got up, careful not to wake his wife. His efforts were to no avail—she had slept in their bed alone before, she knew that loneliness. She didn't need to open her eyes to realize Nathan's absence. She depended on him to sleep now possibly even more than before, and she wasn't about to be alone without him for another second. Quickly throwing the covers off, Haley looked through the hallway and headed downstairs where she found him sitting on the couch.
"Nathan?" She gasped when he turned to look at her, the blood was drained from his face and his eyes were bloodshot.
"Go back to bed Haley," he sighed.
"No," she said, a little hurt by his coldness, "are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"You're lying," she said, sitting next to him, placing one arm around him. "You're—you're shaking, Nathan."
"Haley, I'm fine," he said with a hint of harshness. Seeing her wounded look, he faked a smile. "I'm sorry, I just need a minute." He rubbed her lower back. "Really, go ahead up to bed and I'll be there before you know it."
"I don't want to. I can just be here with you," she said, leaning into him. She wondered what brought this on but she figured he needed some of the healing he had done for her lately, just being there, close to each other. She stroked his cheek, and her hand lingered on the fading scar from the crash and she felt him quiver.
He averted his face. "Hales, go bed," he said again, but kissed her temple this time. When she didn't move, he told her again, making it sound more like a command.
Nodding without looking in his eyes, she slowly walked upstairs but passed their bedroom door and climbed into Jamie's bed. Her arms folded around him and he instinctively snuggled closer to her. She didn't know what was wrong with Nathan, but she knew he needed his space, and she needed one of her boys with her.
The next morning, Haley stood over the stove and Nathan came downstairs, but instead of wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her good morning as he usually did, he just sat at the table. She ignored it and served him breakfast then passing a smaller plate to Jamie. "Where'd you go last night?" he asked, although he knew the answer, he was really seeking the reason.
"To my room," Jamie answered, chomping on a piece of bacon. "How come, Momma?" he asked, interrupting his parents' staring contest.
"I told you I get scared sometimes," Haley answered and ruffled his hair. "I don't like being alone," she added, throwing a glance at Nathan. Jamie nodded in satisfaction but Nathan was hit with guilt at the sadness he saw in her eyes.
Nathan became more and more distant as days passed. He and Haley barely spoke, but they were always looking at each other, at a loss for words to say but not wanting to tear their eyes away. Despite whatever was troubling Nathan and eating at Haley, every night, they would hold each other close as if nothing was wrong, as if there wasn't something threatening to tear them apart. They just needed each other. Every night, Nathan would wake up in the same disheveled state and flee from the room. And every night, Haley would wait until he was gone and sneak into Jamie's room.
One day when Jamie was at school, Haley and Nathan were on opposite sides of the house, both staring blankly at the wall. With a surge of courage, Haley marched up to him. "What is wrong with you?" she demanded. "You hardly talk to me, you hardly talk to our son, you're like a ghost around here. I gave you your space, but I'm tired of playing this game. What is going on?"
He ignored her.
Haley fought the urge to stagger back as if she'd been slapped. This was not Nathan. Not her Nathan at least. "You said you weren't going anywhere," she whispered, traitor tears threatening to betray her.
"I'm right in front of you, Haley," he said, glaring.
"No. No you're not, not really. I don't know what is going on with you, and I just want to help you. Please let me."
"Mind your own business," he grumbled.
Anger rushed through her. "No, dammit, I am your wife! Your business is my business! Whatever this is that you're going through, do not think for a second you're going through it alone! It's not personal; it's not just your problem. This is tearing me apart, Nathan!" she screamed, but it was difficult to look angry with tears pouring down her face.
Softness graced his features for the first time in a while and he got up to put his arms around her. He flicked her tears away with his thumb and they stood in silence, holding onto each other as if their lives depended on it. He was haunted; he couldn't focus, he couldn't make this go away and pretend to be normal again with his family. But seeing her in pieces like this broke his heart; he needed to feel her and make her okay even if he couldn't let her in and do what she wanted.
He was confusing the hell out of her. "Don't do this to us," she said, using all her strength. "Don't take us back there, not again, not after how far we've come. I don't know what to do for you Nathan! I can't if you just shut me out." She stepped away from him, sniffling and wiping her tears away.
"Don't push me away," he said softly, ignoring her plea, and pulled her back into his arms. She let him. "Don't push you away, Nathan?! Fine. Return the favor." With that, she moved out of his embrace and left, in need of fresh air. He wanted to call out to her, to tell her to come back, to tell her he was sorry, to explain everything. But words escaped him.
