Deceit

No note.

El was sure that Mike had given up. A profound sadness was overtaking her spirit.

Mike had given up on her.

This morning it would have been what she wanted, although it was something she never imagined he would do. He had always respected her wishes. This time was no different. Mike must have felt that there was no hope for them.

She entered the cabin feeling numb. As soon as she'd taken off her jacket the phone rang. She ran to it hoping it would be Mike.

"I found her curly wig"

"Dustin?" El had no idea why he would be calling.

"Today I think I lost my best friend and my wife at the same time for the same thing. I neglected her. The both of us are paying for it. I'm sorry El." He said.

"What are you talking about Dustin."

"Jane, she buzzed her hair to look like you. I think she's after Mike again, probably for the same reason as last time fifteen years ago. It's my fault. You have to find Mike and tell him."

El realized now that Mike has been telling the truth. He hadn't lied to her.

"Dustin, you know what she gets like when she's lonely. She not herself at all. Will you take her back? Even if she slept with Mike?"

"Yes," Dustin said in a quiet voice, "it is beyond my comprehension that you two ever got in this situation. I know it's my fault. I don't know what I can do to fix this. That's why I called. Will you take Mike back? Even if he slept with her? "

El didn't hesitate, "in a second. He thought it was me. He didn't cheat on me."

It was more urgent than ever to find Mike and to forgive him for something he thought he'd done. She was feeling frantic.

Suddenly there was an insistent pounding on the door.

"Hold on Dustin, someone at the cabin door. Don't hang up, it might be Mike."

El set the phone down and ran to the door.

El wrenched open the door and was looking at her mirror image.

"I didn't sleep with him, El." Jane was looking down.

"I don't think I would have... I'd like to think I wouldn't have. When he kissed me, he thought I was you, he was kissing you, not me. If that's how he kisses you… holds you… you are so lucky." Jane hung her head and started to cry softly. "I'm so sorry, El."

"Jane…" El said. She couldn't be angry with her sister right now. "What were you thinking? You may have ruined the lives of four people by your deceit. Because that's what it is Jane. Your selfish deceit."

"Four?" Jane said in a whisper.

"Yourself included, Jane. You deceived yourself."

"Nobody is going to forgive me this time are they?" Jane said in a distant voice. She was shutting down.

"I can't speak for Mike, and maybe not Dustin. But I will, Jane. You may have cost me my soulmate," El's voice hitched for a second, "but I will forgive you. You are my sister and I love you. I will be very angry with you for a long time. I forgive you."

She held out her arms. Jane started to sob heavily before she was pulled into a tight hug from her sister.

"I don't deserve any of you."

"Dustin is on the phone right now. Talk to him, I have to go find Mike." El checked to make sure she had her keys and ran out the door.

Jane walked to the phone lying on the table and picked it up with trepidation.

The first words she heard from Dustin were, "I love you Jane." She burst into a fresh set of tears.


After Mike lost El in the mall, he searched a few stores he thought she might be hiding in. He finally gave up and he headed for the cabin. It was her comfort place, she would go back to where she felt safe.

Once he got there he saw what looked like all his possessions out on the porch. They had a tarp on them, but some of hit had blown free and his things were getting soaked from the morning rain.

When his cell phone rang, it was his bank account manager, telling him that El had requested to move half the money in their joint account. She was removing herself from his life.

El was done with him.

What had come over Jane that she thought Mike would be the least bit interested? Sure she looked like El, but she was not El. Mike didn't want to be with her. He didn't think he could even be in the same room with her now. It looked like he'd never see El again. An overwhelming sadness enveloped Mike. He had lost El. How had their love unraveled so completely?

It took Mike over an hour to truck everything from the cabin's porch to his clunker. Everything was soaked, but it would dry out.

Once the the tears had started, it made it hard for him to see as he trudged with multiple trips through the woods. The rain did it's best to wash them away from his eyes. It was losing the battle. He couldn't think of a time when he was not going to be crying. It wasn't going to be today. Likely he would never stop… because he would never stop loving El.

On his last trip he wrote a note. He realized the futility of leaving it. He didn't want to explain that it had been Jane, in a note. If El didn't believe him before, it would just make her mad that he was trying to use the same excuse, even though Mike knew it was true.

For a fleeting moment Mike thought that if he could get Jane to explain, he'd have a chance. But that was not going to happen, if Jane had buzzed her hair to pull all this off, she was not going to help Mike get El back. He couldn't even talk to Dustin, he'd lost his best friend too. That was bad, but it was minor in comparison.

He had lost El.

Mike's breathing quickened, he felt a pain in his chest. Was he going to die of a broken heart in the middle of the woods? His breath started to hitch. He had really lost El. His vision blurred with hot tears and he bumped into a tree.

Mike dropped to his hands and knees, unable to catch his breath. He was going to be sick. He emptied his stomach and dry heaved for several minutes after that.

His clothes were soaked, he needed to get out of the rain. He didn't feel the cold he was too numb for that. He knew he had to get out of the rain if he didn't want to catch pneumonia.

It was starting to sink in. The permanence. His soul was adrift on the vacuum her loss had created.

El was lost to him.