This is part two in one of What Happens When Max Hits Puberty? I'd like to thank Oh My Cookies123 for the inspiration. I didn't want to make it two completely different parts, 'cause I already have an awesome ending for the story. Not now.
But in this one, the guys hit puberty. Oh, yeah.
Tank: God, if you're listening, please help them.
Me: *glares* As I was saying, the boys' puberty will be in segments, 'cause I'm cool like dat.(You'll understand soon enough.)
JP: Suuuuuuure you are.
Disclaimer: I don't own these guys. I like talking to you, Fan fiction, but if you keep asking me if I own this, I might have to stop talking to you.
I knew it would happen someday. It was obvious it would happen, since it happened to me, but I was just hoping it wasn't going to be this day. What happened, you ask. It's tragic. It's terrible. I hate it. Iggy can't shut up about it.
Iggy's taller than me. And it's his birthday. He said, "I bet I'm stronger than you, too."
"Whatever, Iggy," I said and stuffed a piece of vanilla ice cream into my mouth. It's been about three months since Jeb left - or was killed. I suspect the last one. But Fang and I go into a near by town about once or twice a month to get food, since we can pass for about fourteen or fifteen, which is just really awesome.
"Hey, Fang?" Iggy asked. "Do you think I could beat Max up?"
Fang looked at me, looked at Iggy, and said, "No. She'd kill you before you could land a punch."
I admit it. I smiled. It was nice to hear such pleasant words, especially from him. he had been really nice to me since Jeb . . . left. We have yet to get into a fist fight, just plenty of verbal ones. I haven't broken one of his bones yet, neither has he mine, which is just awesome because usually I can't go a week without throwing a punch at his face.
"Dude!" Iggy said. "Bros before hos!"
That was what sent me over the edge of the canyon. Not really, but whateverly. (I couldn't think of the word, alright?)
"And in what universe am a 'ho'?" I asked Iggy, giving him THE EYES OF DOOM (TRADE MARK SYMBOL).
Yep. I didn't give him The Eye. Nooooo. I gave him THE EYES OF DOOM (TRADE MARK SYMBOL),the look even the blind guy knew. It was a look you never question, you don't want, and if you do, you'll turn into a puddle of mush. It's a look that sends cold shivers down your spine, and scares you half to death.
But Iggy somehow said, "It's a figment of speech, Max."
"You still said it," I said. This was going to lead to a fist fight or something . . .
And I'm always right. Well, most of the time. Besides that one time when I had said, 'It's gonna rain tonight.' It didn't rain. But it raised the next morning, so I took that to my advantage. But that's not the point.
Fist were flying in the yard in about five minutes. That's actually long on our standards. Most of the time, it takes about ten seconds for him to have a fist in his face, and then another two minutes for us to make it outside. Jeb had always said, 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just cleaned.'
I got all of the phlegm out of the back of my throat (Not as gross as it sounds.) and spit out on the grass. It came out red.
Before puberty, Iggy and I had been equal oponets, along with Fang. Then, I hit puberty, and I could take them on, easy. But now? We were equal oponets again, and he might be a little bit stronger than me. But just a little bit.
"Give up, Max," he spat.
"Never," I growled and glared at him. I fainted left, and he took the bait. Instead of going left, I went right and slammed into his side. Of course, he was half expecting it 'cause of the super acute hearing. So, instead of hitting his ribs, I got him in the front, tackling him to the ground. It worked out well, sort of. I was stradling him, with his hands above his head.
"I win," I growled. My nose was barely an inch away from his, and I was glaring into his sightless eyes.
Then he did the unthinkable: He. Spit. In. My. EYE. THAT IS DISGUSTING. So, of course, Ijumped off of him saying, "Oh, God, it BURNS!" C'mon. It was Iggy spit. IGGY. SPIT. It's like camel spit, but worse.
So, being that I had jumped off of him, the wrestling/fist fight match was still on. And I didn't stand a chance with his spit. IN. MY. EYE. In under a minute, he was on top of me, my hands above my head.
"I win this time," he said, smirking. I squirmed, but couldn't get him off of me for my life.
Then I remembered. "Not yet," I said, smirking.
A look of confusion passed his face, then pain. I had kneed him where it counts. My arms were free, while he was - ahem - clutching his crotch. Yep. That is as gross as it sounds.
Anyways, once my hands were free, I balled my hand into a fist and punched him right in the lip, splitting it open. He fell off of me and onto the ground, moaning in pain. He knows not to mess with me again,most likely.
I flew off of the ground - figmentally, not literally - and dusted off my knees. I walked across the yard, past the kids who were watching the whole thing from the sky, past Fang who was on the roof, and into the house. I stormed past the living room, and into the bathroom, adrenaline still in my veins from the fight with Iggy.
I slammed the door shut, lockedit, and leaned against it. I wasn't so much as pissed at Iggy than I was at Jeb. How could he just leave us like this? Just leave us to take care of ourselves? Yes, we were very indipendent, and could do things ourselves, but what happened when we ran out of money? When we ran out of food? Steal? I could do that, but steal enough to feed all of us? Who ate more than twenty calories a day? I don't think a few canned goods would cover it.
Then I realized I had been fighting with Iggy just to blow off unused steam. To get all the anger and shit out of me.
I gathered my hair into my hands and realized how much of it I had. It was almost to my waist. I made a sound that could be identified as 'ugh', stood up, left the bathroom. I didn't even notice how the light had been off in the bathroom the whole time. I walked into the kitchen and took out a kitchen knife. I gathered my hair in my hands, put it slightly to the side, and just when I was about to chop it off, Fang's voice said, "What are you doing?"
I jumped an almost dropped the knife. "Don't do that, walnut brain. You scared me."
"What are you doing?" he asked again.
"Chopping my hair off, wanna help?" I asked sarcastically.
"Why?" he asked.
"Not?" I replied.
"Why?" Him.
"Not?" Me.
"Why?" Him.
"Not?" Me.
"This is getting nowhere," he said, glaring at me.
"So? Are you going to help me chop thisbig blob of hair off or what?" I asked.
He sighed, and tookthe knife fro my hands. "I guess."
I turned around, Fang gathered my hair in his hands, and put the knife under it. SLICE. And my head was so much lighter.
Not the best chapter . . . Anyone like to tell me where the copyright thing is? Thanks.
JP: They probably won't tell you.
Skid: JP, think positive.
Tank: How do you two live together?
Me: I dunno. Good sense of humors?
JP: Ha! Good one.
- Sanity
