I'm really sorry about the whole updating later than i said, but read my disclaimer!

Disclaimer: Homecoming took over my time like you would not believe. My apologies on the lack of updating!

Basically, I don't own Twilight; you would have to be mental to think so.


EPOV

I laid on my couch, closing my eyes in attempt to shut out the thoughts of guilt and regret I was feeling. What I had with Bella I never wanted to end. Each day felt like a piece of heaven I would never truly reach, considering I was never supposed to die.

Alice was still fuming several doors down, and Elyse was worried sitting in her room on the floor below. I tried to shut out my reality and just think of Bella. I loved her and that I would not deny. I had to let her go. I had to give her a chance to see that I was holding her back from her potential. She was very intelligent and was understanding. Maybe she could be a therapist or psychiatrist. Bella had a world full of options and opportunities, and here I was holding her back.

I heard quiet footsteps coming up the stairs, and the hesitant yet worried thoughts of Elyse getting closer. I slowly opened my eyes as they drifted to the clock on my wall. 9:30 am. I guess I've been laying here for a while. They are probably getting concerned. There was a soft knocking at my door and I sat up.

"Come in Elyse." She opened the door peeking inside. She was a little shocked that I had known it was her coming to my door. "Please take a seat." Elyse walked over to my couch and sat down. She peered around my room taking in the gold colors, the CD collection, and shelves of books and filling my room. Her eyes strayed back to me, and I smiled.

"Edward, I think we should talk." She said.

"Yes, we should. My family has offered you a place to stay for the time being. We can enroll you into the high school; it's a bit more entertaining than sitting around the house all day –"

"That's not what I meant! I mean, it's been so long! How were you changed? What have you been up to? You can't possibly expect me to see you and not ask what has happened in the past seventy-five years!"

I chuckled. How could I forget? "Well, after I thought you had died, I laid in the hospital for several more days. My mother begged Carlisle to do anything to save me from dying, and he did just that. In the middle of the night he took me to his home nearby and changed me. Three incredibly painful days later I became a vampire. Since then my family has grown from just Carlisle and I, to Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and of course Esme. We live among humans for as long as we can with out becoming suspicious then move on to another place. We moved to Forks a little over three years ago. We all go to school, Esme stays home usually, and Carlisle works at the hospital here."

Elyse kept nodding as I told her what I had been doing. It wasn't that interesting, though she found it to be so.

"Well," I asked her, trying not to laugh at her expression, "what have you been doing? Surely it must be more exciting than what I've been up to." I smiled; things were going well.

"Well, Edward Cullen, I can say things have been bit more exciting. I was changed by an anonymous vampire who stole me away from the city and family I loved, ran rampant through the forests of Western Illinois, met up with a man I thought I loved only to find out he was trying to have our clan killed, and wandered for a few more years in the northwest peninsula of Washington state."

"Wait, what do you mean this man was trying to have your clan killed?" Concern filled my tone; how could someone do such a thing?

"I guess he was in league with another clan. They had some evil plot none of us, the rest of my clan, knew about. Our leader, Christian, and the one I thought I loved, tried to attack us one night. We fought them off and killed most of them, saving Christian for last. Each of us took our turn venting our anger and betrayal, before I inflicted the last blow and lit the match. The clan disbanded thinking it would be safer for us to never meet up again. It broke my heart that he betrayed us all, and broke my heart even more when I was the one that killed him. I've been alone ever since."

I felt so sorry for Elyse. When I first had met Elyse she was very shy and quiet. She said little and smiled even less. Her father had died several weeks before our friendship began, and in attempt to save the family Elyse's mother tried to marry her off. Though the intent of Elyse and I meeting wasn't quite right, we still hit it off. We would see each other everyday, and as each day passed like a flower Elyse would open up and bloom. She began to smile more and would constantly ask questions of the world around her. The day that Elyse contracted the flu, it was the first time she had been to Rockefeller Centre. Her mother had raised her in a sheltered life and when she was with me released all inhibitions and worries.

"I'm so sorry Elyse. I don't know what else to say. I'm glad you're alright and now you have a place to stay."

"Thank you Edward. I honestly never thought I would see you again, and here I am sitting with you. But Edward, are you alright? You look a little pale."

"Of course I'm pale! I'm a vampire."

"That's not quite the word I meant. You look…glum…less than peachy. Does this have to do with this, Bella person?" I'm sure my face looked shocked. How did she know about all this? Well, she could have over heard, vampires have extraordinary hearing. "Edward, I didn't mean to eavesdrop I hope your not mad. I was just concerned that something was wrong when I went upstairs. Everyone seemed so tense, especially you."

"Yes."

"Yes what? It's about Bella? Tell me what's going on Edward. We always were able to tell each other anything. No secrets even if we aren't living anymore." We both laughed at her impeccable way to lighten the tense situation.

"Bella, she is my girlfriend and the only girl I ever loved. But… I feel she deserves so much better than me. She deserves to live a life where she is safe, and I can't harm her. I'm holding her back from living a life she deserves. I can't take her life from her."

"What do you mean? 'A life where she is safe'? She's a vampire too isn't she? It doesn't make sense. How can you harm her if she is just as fast, strong, and talented, so to say, as you?"

I cringed. "Bella is a human." Elyse seemed calm but her thoughts were crazy. A HUMAN? He's right! That isn't safe! What about his family? If something were to happen they would all be in jeopardy. How could that last? Does she know about us? My thoughts for the past few hours had been the same as hers. There was such a risk I was taking, and risk for my family and myself. I loved her, I never doubted that. But I wasn't keeping her safe. My existence was threatening to hers and there was no way I wanted to continue threatening it.

"Bella does know the truth about me and my family. We all love her very much but like I said, she deserves better than me and the life I can offer her. She deserves that chance to be whatever and do whatever she wants. I'm holding her back and I can't keep doing that."

"So what are you saying? You're going to break up with her?" Her tone was questioning, but her mind understood. That seems very wise. Giving up your happiness to give Bella her own.

"Yes. As much as I don't want to, I think it's my only option."

"This must be so hard for you." I shook my head. She had no idea how much my mind was raging within me. "But Edward, your family is here for you. I'm here for you. Don't forget that."

She started leaning towards me angling her head. Her lips met mine and a feeling surged through me. I felt as though I was betraying Bella, but it was over ridden with the emotions I felt when I had lost Elyse and those when I had found her again. Her hand came up next to my face brushing my cheek and then grabbed onto my neck pulling her body closer to mine.


BPOV

As I turned onto the Cullen's "driveway" my stomach started to churn with anxiety. My mind was immune to the sound of the roaring engine after the months of driving it. I didn't notice the trees, the road, or the wind blowing through my car windows. I was focused on seeing him. I thought to review what evidence I had of his odd behavior.

1) He didn't come last night.

2) He never called saying why he didn't come.

3) He wasn't there this morning either, and I still hadn't heard from him.

4 His cell phone was off when I called him.

It wasn't like Edward to not show up and not say anything, or to has his phone off. He was worried too much about my safety and hated leaving me for any period of time more than an hour or two. Finally the white house came into view. His car is in the driveway, so he has to be home. This really threw me off. My mind was restless and battling against itself.

He was home, but he didn't come over? He didn't call? Didn't he know how worried I got when I didn't know where he was or whether he was ok?

No, he wouldn't do that. Maybe he just got home.

No! Even if he just got home he would have gotten to his driveway before me; he drives too fast. He would have heard my truck and come running to me, or have run to my house.

I took several deep breaths before getting out my truck closing the door. I walked to the steps and knocked lightly on the door only once. Before me stood a disheveled looking Alice. She wasn't dressed in her usual model-esque clothing, but a pair of sweats I had bought her as a joke for Christmas, and a long sleeved shirt. Her hair looked like she had slept on it though she never slept.

"Edward's in his room." She told me in a monotone voice, and turned heading back to the kitchen where Esme was sitting. I nodded and headed for the stairs. Alice was acting strange. She never wore anything but her best, and here was wearing those sweat pants! Not only that, but she didn't greet me with her usual happy sing-song hello. This confirmed something was wrong. I walked up the stairs expecting to hear some one's voice, but the house was nearly silent.

Finally reaching the third floor I walked towards Edward's bedroom door. It was closed. He usually had it open knowing I would be there; Alice usually told him. Maybe they got into a fight. But it had to be serious. They were too close and rarely fought in an extreme way. I reached for the door knob when I heard a voice I didn't recognize.

"But Edward, your family is here for you. I'm here for you. Don't forget that."

Thoroughly confused I turned the cold brass knobs in my hands and pushed opened the door. As I turned my head to Edward's couch I felt my heart stop.

There, Edward and some other girl were sitting on his couch. No, not talking, but kissing. The man I thought loved me was doing something intimate with some one else. At that moment I felt beyond hurt, beyond betrayed. I felt numb. Her arm was wrapped around his neck, her fingers entwined with his hair just like I had done not twenty-four hours ago.

Wordlessly I turned around and closed the door. I walked down the stairs and two the front door. Alice came out of the kitchen and started saying something but I didn't hear her. I stead wrapped my arms around myself and walked faster to the door.

I got in to my truck, and pulled away still not able to speak. I took one last look before I was unable to see the house from my rear view mirror. I saw the front door open and Edward stepped out side. My only reaction was to push my foot farther down on the accelerator and get away from this place. I wanted to be alone. I didn't want him running after me. There was nothing he could to fix the numbing feeling that encased my body. There was nothing anyone could do.

I pulled into the driveway and sat there for a few minutes. I kept replaying what had just happened in my head. My breathing increased and heart started racing. The tears finally came, and I placed my head on the steering wheel, grabbing each side trying to keep my body from shaking. Several more minutes passed and I realized I was still sitting in my truck.

I grabbed the keys from the ignition and got out of the car. I didn't want any of the neighbors seeing me like this; I didn't want them to call Charlie. I ran to the door and unlocked it hastily. Once inside I locked the door and went around the house making sure the windows and doors were locked. I didn't want him coming it. I even had brought the key usually tucked under the door eaves inside with me.

When I finally had locked every door and window, and closed all the blinds in the house, I laid down on my bed; face down. Only a little light showed through the yellow curtains in my room. There were dim shadows cast across my fairly dark room. I pulled my arms around the pillows in attempt to stifle my cries.

I had to be strong. I couldn't let him hurt me like this. I wouldn't be weak. When he left me months before, I had let it control me. I could not; I would not, let that happen again. I was stronger than that.

The tears racing from my eyes to my pillow eventually slowed. I dried my eyes on the sleeve of my jacket. The anger that had been slowly churning subsided and I once again felt numb. I was glad Charlie wasn't here; he would no doubt go over to the Cullen's with the shot gun he never used in hand. Charlie wouldn't let me fall into the abyss again. I knew he loved me and it broke his heart to see me so blank.

I turned over looked up at the ceiling. My eyes started to close, weary of the intense crying they had been doing. I felt overcome with sleep and let my mind drift away.

well, she knows there is fishy buisness and is hurt. Guess what might happen next! lol hopefully update by the weekend!

i love the reviews! thanks for your support and comments!

robin :D