A Life lost = A Life gain
Part 7
(TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 version, the turtles are 23)
Warning (Rated: T) Disturbing Content, Foul Language, M-Preg?, Character Death,
Please Don't Read if you don't like this stuff.
Three weeks later
The red clad turtle reluctantly stared at the boring wall that made watching grass grow a promising way in passing the time.
How long has it been since he had these brick walls as his new prison?
With his attempt to get rid of this thing residing within him, he has been shackled to the confinement of the lair, not allowed outside or even left alone, for the most part.
The privacy in going for a shit was now a lost privilege he used to have.
He was on suicide watch from the younger brothers who made it clear as rain to him that he wasn't to be on his own, or permitted to take any action to prevent this.
Making a solemn oath he would behave, not that he had much of a choice, he didn't disobey his brothers' rules, yet again like that was even an option. Donnie to assure this wouldn't go south took some desperate steps; Raph would call it.
Upping the security within the lair to lock him in if he dared to take a step near any exit was for starters. Then there was the damn sensor that read his every movement… He wouldn't be surprised Donnie was recording every activity he took part, including a subtle passing of air, didn't go unnoticed.
Sighing Raph closed his eye,s letting his head take the comfort of his pillow. At least in his room, he had a bit more privacy since his brothers removed anything that Raph could use to harm himself. They wouldn't even let him keep his weights or his bike gear, stating it will only make him want to leave more.
Depressing it was becoming, to think it was bad enough he had to go through this disgusting pregnancy, but to be a prisoner in his own home?
~Flash Back~
"RRRaaaahhhh! This is a waste of my fucken time!" Raph raged, kicking the rusted can across the dump site, missing Leo's head by an inch.
Sighing the big brother turned his attention to his temperamental brother, who was starting to brew yet another storm.
"Raphael calm down," Leo insisted, looking about to make sure Donnie wasn't in earshot, not that the genius brother would take notice of Raph sudden mood swing, engulfed in his own little world.
"Calm down Leo?" Raph crossed his arms narrowing his eyes at him, suddenly feeling irked over his always calm brother. "Why the shell should I? Come on Leo you can't be standing there thinking this is a great way to waste our night, rummaging this dump for useless trash. It is called a dump for a reason!"
Smiling sweetly knowing it always worked on the hotheaded brother, Raph turned red swiftly looking away from Leo, hating how he could just do that without showing he was mocking him.
"Raph I have to agree..." Leo started making Raph blink wildly in confusion, which forced him to interrupt Leo hastily with another complaint.
"Then why are we hanging around here for? We should be doing something important, like tracking down those thugs that gang up on that guy the night before almost killing him. Fucken hate crimes; the douchebags need a little lesson from me, which will make them think twice before daring to harm some innocent kid for he was black."
Letting out another sigh, Leo agreed but there was more to this, "I understand how you feel Raph, but we already know Nobody is on that one as the rumors have spread, so we don't have to worry about it."
Flinging his arms in the air Raph growled in disgust that Leo was so chillax on the subject, "So instead of helping we think this is more important!"
"It is significant Raph," Leo pointed out stepping forward noticing the steam coming from Raph's ear holes. Before the hothead could protest once more, Leo continued, glancing at him with an icy stare, warning Raph to let him finish, without another outrage beforehand. "Raph you are aware Donnie is working on a new security system. In order for him to make this system that will protect us all in our lair without worry of sudden intrusions, he needs the parts. This is the only place he can find it."
Biting his lip, Raph sighed, letting himself simmer down a little, "Fine I get it, but why now?"
"Because Donnie wants to get it done sooner than later."
"He sounds paranoid to me," Raph huffed.
"Yes, but you know Donnie; he worries about his family and wants to do everything in his power to protect us. With all the time he spends on this system, don't you think the least we can do is help him look for the parts he needs? Not that we can help him in any other way," Leo said smoothly coming up to Raph placing his hand on the brother's shoulder.
Letting it all out and his anger now being overwhelmed by his guilt for his rash outburst, for not looking at the picture in front of him, Raph nodded.
"Yeah, I guess your right, Donnie-boy can be paranoid in a good way I guess. Fine I will help, but he'd better not make me do all the fucken heavy lifting!"
Chuckling Leo shook his head, "Don't worry, he won't..." Leo started to walk away, then quickly added, "I will."
"LEO!"
~Flash Back Over~
"Donnie is just plain paranoid... That will never change," Raph muttered to himself, letting out a tiresome yawn and stretching his arms up only to give notice to the nosey little beak peeking over his bed edge.
Rolling his eyes, Raph didn't bother turning his head in that direction, "Yes Mikey."
Popping up like a Jack in the Box over being addressed, Mikey tilted his head at Raph in curiosity, or was he looking at him like he was some nutcase?
The usually blabber mouth turtle, oddly silent at the moment, giving Raph a chill that traveled up his spine. To shake it off, he leaned up flicking Mikey in the forehead to snap him out of the daze.
With a painful screech that was obviously overplayed, Mikey sulked holding his head like Raph punched him or something on that line.
"Well shell for brains, are you going to say something or do I have to beat it out of you?" Raph smirked; he wasn't angry mellower than not.
He figured it was due to the antidepressant drugs Donnie presently demanded he had to be on until he showed clear signs he was passed the whole let's kill the unborn child.
"What were you doing Raphie?" Mikey cautiously asked, shifting his feet in the manner he was holding something back.
"Huh? Laying here numb nuts! What the fuck yeah think I was doing... and stop fidgeting its annoying as hell, Mikey," Raph spat sitting up, lightly slamming his shell into the wall to get comfortable, his stomach was a pain, and he found it awkward sitting at times.
"Oh, just wondering… you didn't respond to me when I came in or when I waved my hand in front of your face," Mikey pointed out biting his lip as he did. Was he trying to read him?
"When the fuck did you do that?" Raph asked quickly raising an eyebrow not sure what Mikey was talking about.
"Just now. Then suddenly you muttered something about Donnie, and you were acting normal again."
Blinking on what Mikey was saying Raph was lost for words, then unexpectedly, he came to a conclusion. Was this something to do with that thing inside him? Did he just black out?
Keeping that suspicion to himself Raph thought about how he could use what happened to his advantage as a brilliant idea came to mind. Something he would have to admit doesn't come up so often, and he wondered why didn't he try this one on for size before.
"Man Mikey I don't know what the fuck you're talking about... Maybe being locked up here day in and day out with no fresh air is getting to me... Shit," Raph said making sure he laid down the guilt, then acted like he didn't mean to say any of that. Turning white Raph looked at Mikey horrified, "I mean... don't tell Donnie, I don't want more drugs!"
Feeling sympathetic over his brother's predicament, Mikey shook his head, "You need fresh air don't you bro."
Nodding slowly, looking down at his hands to play the part more Raph sighed deeply, "Yeah... Hell it has been a while since I have seen Casey and hanged out even, considering you guys made it that it was wise, he stayed away until Donnie gave me a clean bill of health."
Hook, line and sinker, Mikey took the bait, not that he would catch on Raph has been playing him, since that wasn't Raph style. Nevertheless, Raph was desperate to get out and get that fresh air and talk to someone who would understand how he felt about this.
"Okay bro, I will talk to Donnie and see what we can do. If I escort you to Casey, and you promise me you will stay put until I come pick you up; I don't see it being an issue, and you have been better since Donnie put you on that medication."
Smiling weakly, not too much to show how overjoyed he felt inside to sucker Mikey this well, Raph nodded innocently letting his brother feel like the hero of this story, "Thanks Mikey that will be great."
(2hrs later)
Sitting in the car, Raph let his legs stretch that was most overdue.
Feeling the victory of freedom he stared out towards the city lights as they flashed by.
With Mikey behind the wheel, the younger turtle convinced Donnie with an impressive performance of his own, making it look like this was his idea, which in the end forced Donnie to reluctantly agree that Raph was permitted to go visit Casey on a few terms that is.
First off, most of the terms were for Casey. Once, Donnie got a hold of the human that was more than happy to have Raph as company, he quickly did agree to Donnie's rules over the visitation.
What exact exchanged words and terms occurred, unfortunately it was between them only, which meant Raph wasn't sure what they were and sadly the fact Mikey wouldn't give details for once keeping his mouth shut, he didn't know what to expect.
Now for the rules surrounding Raph, which he could accommodate, oddly finding them fair, and he was more than willing to agree not to screw his only moment of freedom.
He was to stay at Casey's until Mikey or Donnie picked him up. By no means was he allowed to leave Casey's apartment and if Casey believes Raph was acting ill manor he has a right to shorten the visit by calling Donnie.
If Raph by any chance tries to prevent Casey in calling him, the punishment will be this kind of visit will never happen again. However, if Raph does get out of hand and doesn't prevent Casey in calling he will not suffer any repercussions and be allowed another visit in the future when Raph is in a better state of mind.
In the end here he was minutes away from Casey's place.
"We are here bro," Mikey announced killing the transmission looking at all the mirrors to make sure there wasn't a soul in the alleyway that was beside Casey's building.
Parking before the fire escape that was their entry way to Casey's place Mikey nodded to Raph opening his door. The cool breeze whipped around Mikey to avoid him, just to greet Raph instantly.
It didn't take long until Raph too was out of the stuffy car that smelled like weeks old pizza.
Did Mikey ever take any pride over his car and give it a good cleaning now and then?
This was one of many reasons; Raph in normal circumstances, refused a ride in that rust bucket, complaining of its sticky seats that love to fuse with Raph's skin and even screeched with horror when Raph tried to remove himself from it.
To even how the over exhausted outdated car huffed and popped as it bounced down the street, making sure to let you know when it went over some pothole as your head hit its worn-out carpet ceiling making you want to wash your head right away, over the fear of lice.
Ah the fresh air was welcoming, as Raph followed Mikey to the fire escape while he found himself tugging the black hoodie that didn't sit well over his growing stomach.
Though he normally didn't care about wearing clothes, unless he was undercover pretending to be a human, he didn't want Casey's eyes, eyeing the area where the abomination was located.
Hell he wanted no one looking at him in anyways, acknowledging that he was pregnant.
"Okay Raph, we should take this easy; it's best that you go first, and I follow behind. If there is any sign of fatigue, or you feel off at all, let me know and we will find another way to Casey's apartment," Mikey said with a hint of worry scaling his eyes up to the top apartment. He didn't like the idea that Raph had to climb a ladder or take such a journey in his condition.
Ignoring the over-protective brother, Raph rolled his eyes not making a comment that would turn out to be sarcastic and rude, taking the bar firmly in his hand.
With a deep breath, making sure, Mikey didn't catch that, fearing the younger brother's alarms would go off; Raph took one step at a time, feeling how much this action was straining his body.
Never in his life, he felt like this, not even when he was injured and felt death was at his front door, that even came close to equal to what he is experiencing at the moment.
Pausing half-way up, Raph flashed over his shoulders, becoming overwhelmed by the feeling of someone watching him.
He wasn't sure what it was, yet all he knew such a feeling comes with training as a ninja and ignoring it could be dire.
Just as his view focused on the area he could have sworn he caught the tail end of someone dressed in a black cloak was standing, the horrible sensation dawned on him more, making his palm sweat. Whatever it was, it gave him the impression of dread and death making him wish he never dared to turn around at all.
This didn't waver even after nothing out of the ordinary was seen above the other buildings, even to his left and right, as he flashed a glance at both directions revealing nothing at all, however, he still couldn't shake this off.
Snapping out of his panic state that he wasn't aware he was in, Mikey was directly under him softly touching his leg calling his name, "Raphie? What is wrong, are you okay?"
Blinking and pushing the experience to the side Raph tilted his head down seeing Mikey's eyes widen in horror, "Raph are you feeling ill! You look pale!"
"I…" Raph said weakly, biting his lip, trying his darnist to recover from what was happening to him, "I'm fine Mikey. I just got very nauseous, sorry I almost puked on you."
The little fib told, the younger turtle took it by heart feeling relieved that it wasn't something serious, not that he didn't think getting puked on wasn't, it was better than Raph passing out and falling or something on that line.
"Raph, we should hurry then, can you make it?" Mikey asked, tilting his head to determine how much further they must climb.
Nodding Raph looked up feeling the ladder, he swore didn't go much higher, was now miles away to his destination that should be only a few more steps.
Gulping Raph bit his lip, keeping this from Mikey and kept his eyes focused on the brick wall as he continued, which helped a lot. This seemed the best way to the window, and he didn't feel like this was going to take an eternity.
To his relief, he found himself at the landing before he knew it and there was Casey's window wide open ready for visitors of the turtle kind.
Slipping in without hesitation Raph almost scurried out the window only to smack into Mikey that jumped by the suddenly fleeing act.
"Raph what is wrong now?" Mikey blinked at Raph in confusion, one sec he was rushing to get in and now rushing out like the house was on fire.
"We are in the wrong apartment!" Raph blurred out wondering why Mikey was looking at him like he was crazy.
"This is Casey's apartment dude."
"Like hell it is! It's to clean; no way in hell, it can be this clean!" Raph pointed to the spotless floor that had the strong scent of pine.
"I resent that Raph!" a familiar voice barked in frustration behind him.
The red clad turtle turning around saw the underline expression on his best friend's face that looked as wild as ever, ready to pounce on him over such an insult, just to change quickly as his eyes went down toward the area that Raph was trying to get Casey to avoid looking at.
Calming down Casey sighed, going to his favorite chair that too was clean and looked like it was steamed to get all the years of grime that Casey infested it with.
"Fine April gave me a hand," Casey grumbled the truth as both turtles started to chuckle, seeing now how this made sense and would be the only reasonable explanation on how it could be as tidy as it was.
"Oh well, that explains things, so she cleaned your pigsty while you what watched her ass as she did? Can't see you contribute in any other way," Raph grinned wildly loving how Casey was holding back to smack him, "Or was a sexual favor in the mix, and she was more than willing?"
Choking on Raph's words, Casey turned white, as Mikey too looked stunned by the comment. Swallowing hard Casey bit his lip, "Raph are you feeling alright?"
"I'm fine. What is your two problems?" Raph huffed crossing his arms.
Choosing his words wisely, Mikey spoke up, "You never joke about sex or speak like that period."
"Or say it so casually, you tell me to shut up when I joke about it," Casey pointed out the odd behavior; Raph jokes about a lot of things, but sex has always been off the table and the way he said it was abnormal for the red clad turtle.
Unsure how to turn the table on this and worried that Mikey might make the decision that it would be best he went home; Raph cleared his throat, "Sorry I will keep my beak shut… I just feel pukish okay…"
Sighing Mikey held his chin as he debated what he should do, "Raph do you want to go home, if you're not feeling well?"
Quickly, Raph flashed a look towards Mikey shaking his head wildly, "No no no! That is not what I'm saying I just need a drink of water, and I will be fine. I guess this apartment is so clean; it did my head in," Raph hoped it would change the topic, and it did the trick.
"Oh sure, now we are back to blaming my apartment; it wasn't that bad!" Casey argued leaning forward.
"Yes it was!" both Raph and Mikey admitted. To butter them both up to forget what he said beforehand, Raph continued, "We live in the sewers, and your place is worse than anything we came across!"
"Oh really, we are going there, are we Raph! Bring it freak!" Casey fired up, inches away from taking off from his seat only to have Mikey cross his arms getting between them.
"Casey you had promised Donnie you wouldn't horse play with Raph since he shouldn't be in such physical contact," Mikey reminded Casey waving his finger in front of the human's face.
Feeling guilty Casey sighed settling into his seat once again, "Sorry Mikey, I forgot for a second, but I promise I won't do it again."
"Good, I see Raph is feeling better," Mikey went to Raph feeling his head only to have the brother rear away from the hand, "I will go home, if anything comes up, Casey call us right away."
"Sure do," Casey answered back watching Mikey disappearing into the night and hearing the sad car try to start, then to rattle to life as it started to fade in the distance.
Once Casey felt confident that they were alone, he tilted his head at Raph with a mix of feelings, which the turtle had no clue what was on the human's mind.
Then it came, the one thing he was dreading yet it was inevitable, "So this isn't some bullshit, and you're pregnant?"
Rolling his eyes, Raph leaned his shell on the couch's arm to stretch his legs, "Yes dumb ass and don't ask me how it fucken feels, or if I feel okay!"
Annoyed by the rash response to something he was taking seriously, Casey huffed, "Well sorry asshole. It's not everyday you find out your best friend that is a guy is preggers."
"Yeah really, its fucken wrong!" Raph started seeing Casey become frantic by his response.
"Oh, don't tell me you're with my brothers on that I should take this as something that is normal!" Raph growled, not even two seconds in, he finds out Casey is too on 'the leech has rights to live' train?
Biting his tongue on the response he would have given in his anger state, Casey let himself to think before lashing out, "Of course, cause I don't find it normal Raph! But the same time I see why your brothers are trying to help you see that this isn't as bad as you are making it to be."
"Oh hell Casey! You do realize there is no way in hell I should be like this right?! It shouldn't exist, yet you all avoid the underlying fact. How am I pregnant and what is it really?"
"What are you saying Raph? What do you think it is?" Casey asked the question, the one he knew he shouldn't have, but he needed to understand why Raph was going in the deep end this much. It was one thing Raph was freaked out to be pregnant, another wanting to kill it without remorse.
"A demon!" Raph blurred out suddenly catching himself by surprise. He wasn't thinking that harshly and didn't understand where that came from.
Then to make the creep factor go off the scale, Raph swore he felt it move, insulted by his statement, though couldn't see how that was possible if it was in an egg!
"Raph…" Casey started only to get off his chair quickly in response to Raph dashing to the window, "Wait. Where do you think you're going?"
"Sorry Casey I can't do this! I'm losing my mind and…, and I think it's this things fault. I need it gone before… before I do something harmful to the ones I care about," Raph told Casey just before leaping out of the window disappearing into the night.
