A/N: Welp. This chapter has been LITERALLY, LIKE, TWO AND A HALF YEARS IN THE MAKING. I have no excuse for why it's taken this long except that I've had trouble keeping up motivation for this concept. So many other people have done Momswap so much better than me!
Also, think about how much stuff in the show has changed since I wrote the first chapter! We didn't even know what Peridot looked like without limb enhancers back then. And I was sort of putting off "Giant Woman" because I'd heard a rumor that a canon Lapis and Peridot fusion would make an appearance soon, but...yeah, that still hasn't happened.
But at last, after this chapter has been written single paragraphs and sentences at a time, with months and months passing before I even opened up the document again, I sucked it up and finished it. I haven't edited it or anything, I just wrote the last words and came straight over here. SO I HOPE YOU ENJOY.
~*Q*~
It was rare that Lapis and Peridot got along on anything. Lapis liked to be as free and unrestrained as the water she controlled, so Peridot, who was neurotic and egotistical and very "stuff"-focused, tended to rub her the wrong way. But Steven could manage to unite them once in a while.
Today, Steven had convinced the two of them to sit together and play checkers. Unfortunately, Lapis didn't like board games, and Peridot hated all archaic Earth inventions on principle. As Steven sat next to them on the sand, he started to wonder whether this had actually been a good idea.
"Your move," Lapis said, chin in hand. Though they were a good ten feet from the ocean, some of the water was drawn to her every time the tide went out, and the ground was soaked.
"I know that!" Peridot snapped. She had been eying the game board for ages, occasionally muttering and reaching for a piece before snatching her hand back and muttering some more.
"Peridot, it's the third move. If you mess up now, I don't think-"
"Forget it! As if I'd even consider making a bad move against a clod like you." Lapis rolled her eyes.
Steven flopped over on his back. His shirt was damp with the sand sticking on it. "I think...this would have been more fun with water balloons."
"Yeah!" Lapis' eyes lit up. "That's a great idea!"
"You'd give her such a blatant tactical advantage?" Peridot protested.
"Tactics? What, no. It'd be for fun." Peridot stared at Steven blankly. "You know, like, to make the stakes higher."
"The 'stakes' are not worth electrocuting my limb enhancers." Peridot leaned forward and picked up a piece.
"Finally," Lapis sighed.
Peridot eyed the game board. Then, fast as lightning, she made a motion so her fingers upended the board and caused most of the game pieces to skid into the sand. Peridot scooped up half of Lapis' army and sat back triumphantly.
"You cheated!" Lapis said immediately, glaring angrily at the other Gem.
"No, I simply moved the terrain to my advantage. And I win!"
"Stop being so obsessed with winning. It's just a game! A game I was winning!"
"Um...it's a tie?" Steven ventured hesitantly, trying to defuse the argument.
But Lapis, fed up, leaped to her feet. "I am sick of your high-and-mighty-attitude, always taking everything too seriously, always whining about building robots and going back home - "
Peridot rolled her eyes. "Me? You never take anything seriously! You just goof off all the time!"
"Well, you know what?" Lapis snapped. "This is why we never form her."
"Oh, don't you dare bring Chrysocolla into this."
"What's Chrysocolla?" Steven asked, but his question was drowned out amidst their arguing. He had to yell to be heard. "Guys! What is Chrysocolla?"
Peridot immediately turned on Lapis again. "I thought we agreed we wouldn't talk about fusion in front of him!"
"Oh, forget it. Listen, Steven." Lapis dropped to her knees. Water swirled up to meet her hands, and she deftly formed it into the outline of a small person. "We Gems have a power called 'fusion.' We don't use it much because of some...bad experiences, in the past. But Chrysocolla is the result of these powers."
"But what is it?" Steven repeated.
"Oh, she's just Peridot and I, mashed together."
Peridot made a scoffing sound to Steven's left. "Is a computer just a bunch of wires mashed together?"
Steven and Lapis stared at her, and she rolled her eyes. "Fine, anyways. Chrysocolla is an amalgam of Lapis' and my combined traits. Like me, she has strength, cunning, and excellent prowess over all things metallic in nature. Like Lapis...she can fly, I guess. Hey, stop that!" Lapis had separated her water figure into two tiny clones of Peridot and Lapis, and she was making the Peridot one dance something that looked like the Macarena.
Steen watched as the little Peridot spun in circles, the Lapis waltzing with thin air a few inches away. Something about the concept of fusion was thrilling to him. A superpowered lady formed by a cool dance with someone who liked you a lot? He'd take it!
"Are you gonna do it now?" Steven asked with a trace of excitement in his voice.
"What, fuse?" Peridot snorted, having given up on trying to electrocute her little water clone. "No way. Like we said, we've tried to put that behind us."
"Peridot's just not worth fusing with," Lapis said bluntly.
"No, but -" The chime of the warp pad echoed from the house, and Steven hopped to his feet as the others automatically turned to go inside.
"Must be Jasper," Lapis said, effectively closing the topic. "Let's get inside."
~*Q*~
"Jasper! Did you get me anything?"
"No."
"...oh."
"I found the beetles," Jasper said to Peridot and Lapis. "The lava lake and the Sky Spire. You two are going to the spire. Bring Steven."
"What?" Lapis blurted, just as Peridot complained, "Why?"
"Something wrong with that?" Jasper asked, scanning their faces. Both of them looked away. "Is this a fusion thing?"
"N-no!"
Jasper made a disgusted noise. "Keep me out of this one."
"Can't I go with you to the boiling lava lake instead?" Lapis asked.
"Nope. I'm the only one not wimp enough to handle it." Jasper cracked her neck and headed for the warp pad. "No offense. Steven, you're there to keep them from pushing each other off the tower. Have fun."
"Uh, okay!" The chime of Jasper warping away sounded, and Steven looked at Peridot and Lapis, who both looked dismayed at this turn of events. "So...you guys ready?"
"As long as Lazuli stays ten steps away from me," Peridot muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose.
The warp deposited them at the foot of the Sky Spire, and Steven's eyes lit up immediately. "Woah!" he exclaimed, craning his neck up at the huge, winding cliff. "Is that where the, um…"
"Heaven beetle," Peridot supplied.
"Heaven beetle guy is?"
"Yep," said Lapis. "All the way at the top."
The Gems began to trudge forward. Steven sensed an opportunity and ran to catch up with them. "So! When you fuse…"
Lapis winced. "Already?"
"...how big exactly is the giant lady?"
"Does it matter?" Peridot asked.
"Yes! These questions are important." Steven caught up to the others at the foot of a narrow staircase that wound its way up the cliffside. "This is kind of a lot of stairs…" he noted. "Does Chrysocolla do piggyback rides?"
"Absolutely not, but I could fly you up there and leave Peridot behind," Lapis suggested.
"No! Let's walk. I have to show Jasper than I can handle more missions like this."
"Thanks for ruling that out," Peridot grumbled. "Would've been nice to helicopter it." She and Lapis still didn't bother to fly, either respecting Steven's wishes or just figuring that it was easier not to argue. Steven could feel his legs getting tired already, but he decided to tough it out.
"So, if you eat a pork chop -" Steven started, but he was interrupted by a rustling in the bushes.
The Gems, weary but immediately on edge, stepped forward to shield Steven. Peridot started to charge her blaster, but Lapis, being too far away from a body of water to be of much use, just spread her wings like an owl puffing itself up to look bigger.
Something small and woolly hopped out of the thicket. A sheep stood there, calmly munching on a green mouthful of grass. Steven feigned a gasp and threw up his arms - "It's a monster! You have to fuse and kill it!"
"It's a sheep," said Lapis.
"O-oh, is it? I didn't notice."
"You did too!" Peridot snapped, relaxing her stance. "Steven, if you're going to bring up Chrysocolla over and over, we might as well just take you ho - Ow! Hey! Stupid Earth mammal!" The sheep had nipped one of her floating fingers out of curiosity. Peridot, angry but not actually injured, scolded it furiously and yanked her limb enhancer back. The sheep bleated in confusion.
"Serves you right," Lapis said, crossing her arms.
Steven sighed deeply. "If these two keep arguing, I'll never get to see her," he mumbled, watching the Gems march up the mountain and bicker. As he started after them with only the sheep by his side for company, a soft breeze whooshed by, causing his hair to rustle...
~*Q*~
"All I wanna do, is see you turn into…"
Steven was starting to think that Lapis and Peridot had more problems than just not liking fusion. They had more problems than just not liking each other.
He watched Peridot and Lapis climb up the cliff ahead of him. Peridot walked straight up it while Lapis climbed, using her wings for balance. Steven watched as Peridot casually kicked at the rock harder than necessary, showing Lapis with pebbles.
She was narcissistic and just plain snotty, sometimes, but she still found it in her to be kind to Steven. He could see the spark of fascination in her eyes whenever they went someplace new. And when Lapis was in one of her moods, Peridot was always the first one to approach her, even if she did it with sarcasm.
"A giant woman, a giant woman…."
Peridot splashed through a stream, using small rocks to keep herself from getting wet. All of a sudden, a wave roared out of nowhere and washed her into the river. Lapis laughed so hard she snorted as Peridot tried uselessly to shake the water off her tech.
Steven suspected that Lapis' giggly, bubbly exterior was just a front. He could see it whenever she sat by herself, staring out at the ocean. Her eyes were filled with tiredness and, try as he might, Steven couldn't engage her in anything. As much as she liked to mess with the humans around Beach City, it felt like Lapis didn't truly like anyone or anything on Earth outside of the Crystal Gems.
"You might even like being together and if you don't it won't be forever…"
When they crossed a bridge, Steven let his new sheep friend carry him over as Lapis and Peridot went on ahead. No matter how annoyed the two of them got, they never left each other's sides. It was like they preferred arguing with each other to being alone. Steven made a decision. He'd help them, and he'd figure out why they acted so weird all the time, and fusing would just be a really, really cool natural second step of their relationship.
"...all I wanna do is see you turn into a giant woman."
~*Q*~
Peridot, Lapis, Steven, and Li'l Steven arrived at the summit of the Sky Spire. Steven held out for approximately four seconds before his legs collapsed.
"Oof," he said, then noticed that Lapis and Peridot were already leaving to check on the beetle. He scrambled to catch up with them.
The beetle was in a little beetle bedroom that was so cute Steven couldn't help but gasp in delight. "Look at this! It's got a little bed and everything!"
Li'l Steven baaed.
"That's great, but where's the beetle?" Peridot mashed her face against the tiny tower as if she'd be able to see it better.
"Why don't you keep sticking your nose in the tower?" Lapis mumbled. "You'll find it eventually."
"Excuse me? At least I am continuing to be the most important and helpful member of this team! You're just standing there doing nothing!"
"Not my fault the beetle isn't there," Lapis said angrily. "Why don't you quit acting like a little Earth gremlin?"
L'il Steven baaed again.
"I am not a - a garden gnome! How dare you suggest such a, a ridiculous concept -"
"I bet you'd look great with a red pointy hat on your head!"
The sheep was baaing nonstop now, and Steven rushed over to comfort her as the Gems bickered. Suddenly, the ground rumbled. A monstrous golden shape erupted into the sky. Steven lurched backward in shock as a gigantic bird spread its wings over the spire, then dove down and swallowed L'il Steven whole.
"My child!" Steven cried softly.
Peridot instinctively threw an energy blast at the bird. It snapped that up, too. Peridot squawked "HEY!" but Lapis was already dragging the both of them into the shelter of the spire.
"That thing is huge!" she gasped.
"This is great!" Steven said. "You can summon Chrysocolla and avenge Li'l Steven now!"
Both Lapis and Peridot looked at him.
"Bad time?" he said.
"No…" Lapis said, with infinite reluctance, as the giant bird started drumming against the roof of the shelter. "That might be our only option."
Steven plopped down to watch.
Peridot and Lapis stood in position facing each other. Lapis started to sway, moving her arms as if she were shrugging, but her movements were way more graceful. It looked like she was sliding over the floor like she was made of water. Her gem started to glow.
Meanwhile, Peridot tapped her foot three times, then started a jazz number. Her limb enhancers clicked in an impressively fast rhythm as she tap-danced in a circle and then over to Lapis, interrupting her smooth liquid dancing by grabbing her around the waist and whirling her around. White light encompassed the two of them as their forms started to shift and grow…
Suddenly, a clack sounded as a metal limb fell to the ground. Then three more followed it. The blob of light burst like a stuck balloon as Peridot and Lapis landed in a tangle.
Peridot was the first to get up...except she was quite a lot shorter than Steven was used to. "My limb enhancers!" she yelled, wiggling her hands in front of her. "Come on, I don't wanna go without those!"
Lapis knocked her robot arm out of Peridot's hand as she tried to meticulously put them on again. "We don't have the time to worry about that!"
"It wasn't gonna work anyways! What kind of dancing was that? You weren't even trying to be in sync!"
"Guys, please!" Steven pleaded. "Look, I'm sorry I tried to push you into this, but please, stop fighting. If you never get along we won't find a way out of here...and I'll get eaten by a giant bird!"
The roof directly over Steven's head fell in. The giant bird stuck its head inside the shelter and promptly ate Steven.
"STEVEN!" Lapis and Peridot cried.
But Steven was still in one piece. He yelped as he tumbled head over heels down the bird's giant gullet, which was fleshy and pink and studded with shards of crystal. He landed in a big pile of junk. Steven sat up and immediately heard a baa. Li'l Steven was okay!
"My baby! Hey, what are you eating?" He rushed over to the sheep and found that she was nibbling on something shiny and wiggling. "No, wait! Give it here!"
He started to wrestle with his new pet sheep, who was now quite insistent on eating what Steven was sure was the Heaven Beetle. "Bad Li'l Steven!" he scolded. "I'm going to put you up for adoption!"
Before Steven could say anything more, an enormous turquoise arm punched a hole straight into the bird's stomach.
Li'l Steven dropped the beetle with a bleat of shock. A second arm came through underneath the sheep, grabbing her and dragging her away. Steven was too surprised to yell when a third arm burst out of nowhere, grabbed him solidly around the middle, and pulled him out of the belly of the monster and into fresh air.
He found himself clutched in the grasp of an enormous, four-armed, blue-green being. She was hanging onto the bird's underside with two of her hands. Her hair, whipping violently in the gust of the bird's wings, fanned out around her head to form a familiar triangle.
"Ch-Chrysocolla?" Steven gasped, but his vision was obscured as the golden bird monster poofed into dust.
He felt a violent jolt as Chrysocolla landed back on the ground, her fall slowed by two wings that emerged from her back, shaped just like Lapis' but twice as large. She adjusted her visor - which was now curved in a way that resembled Lapis' bangs - and whispered "Cover your head!"
Then she took flight. The fusion launched herself straight into the cloud of bird dust, which hadn't dissipated, but reformed - into thousands of tiny, angry monsters that were nothing but yellow beaks with wings. Chrysocolla, barrel-rolling and corkscrewing, sped down the long spiral staircase, effectively focusing every one of the birds' attentions onto her and not on Steven's tiny form. They fled the top of the tower in a wave and chased her to the grassy field at the spire's base.
Only then did the fusion set Steven (and Li'l Steven) down. Chrysocolla faced the cloud confidently, ribbons trailing from her back, her long skirt flapping around leggings that looked like Peridot's. She motioned, and water poured out of the sea and into a sphere contained within her four raised hands. Then it shimmered and sparked and turned to liquid metal.
For a moment, Steven could only stare in awe at Chrysocolla's figure, outlined against glowing quicksilver, towering into the setting sun. The birds dove.
Chrysocolla fired. The blob of energy struck the center of the mass of enemies. With every monster it touched, the quicksilver sizzled and dissolved it to nothing. Like lightning, it jumped from enemy to enemy until the entire horde had disintegrated, leaving only the smell of saltwater and ozone.
Chrysocolla stretched as if satisfied, then turned. On his knees, Steven gaped up at her. She offered a hand.
Steven took it, suddenly timid. He let go quickly, and asked, almost in a whisper, "Uh...do you...know you I am?"
Chrysocolla stared at him for a beat.
Then she snorted. She started to laugh, and that quickly turned into a high-pitched cackle - just like Peridot's. Between gasps, she started to sing: "All you wanna do - is see me turn into -"
"A giant woman!"
~*Q*~
"We're back!" yelled Steven as they touched down on the warp pad in his own home.
Jasper turned. She was over by the kitchen, running her smoking hands under the tap. She still had her helmet on. Some of her hair was burned at the tips.
"Where's the beetle?" she asked.
Chrysocolla gasped. "I…oh my stars!" Then, so quickly that all Steven saw was a blob of white light, she fell apart. Peridot and Lapis fell on the ground, already starting to yell at each other. Peridot was still without her limb enhancers, since she'd left that at the Sky Spire too.
"I can't believe you forgot that bug!" Peridot said furiously.
"Me? You were the one doing all those barrel rolls!"
"Hey!" Steven interrupted. "I have the beetle!" He pulled it out of his pocket. Lapis and Peridot were so surprised, they stopped arguing.
"Nice one." Jasper plucked the beetle from him. As Steven watched, she plopped the bug into a little terrarium with a second beetle, where they wiggled their antennae at each other politely.
"I also see you helped your teammates fuse," Jasper continued. Peridot blushed. Lapis blew some stray hair out of her face.
"And all I had to do was get eaten by a giant bird," Steven said. He was fairly beaming with pride. He'd never felt this accomplished.
"You'll be good at fusing one day too."
"Yeah…"
…
…
…
"WHAT?"
~*Q*~
A/N: Hey, it feels pretty great to have that uploaded! I guess you could say this story also represents my general improvement in writing skills from 2015 to 2017, since there's some stuff at the very beginning left untouched for two years.
Also, yes, this is where I'm leaving the story off. I would rather confirm this story as finished instead of just keep it on hiatus forever. I hope you like what there is of it! You guys aren't missing much, but some ideas I'd had for the coming season: Peridot was going to lose her limb enhancers after "Steven the Sword Fighter;" Amethyst was going to be in Lapis' place for "Mirror/Ocean Gem," except she would be trapped in the Kindergarten, and Steven would heal her Gem so she could shapeshift away; and the reason these Gems are on Earth are because Rose's Rebellion was successful, and these three were banished to Earth while Rose remade Homeworld in her image.
If you still want more Momswap, please check out "The Smothering," a fanmade Steven Universe episode with the gems swapped just like in this story, except it's got an original plot and everything. It should be on YouTube and Vimeo.
Catch you later...hopefully with some more stories, since now I don't have this one giving me an excuse not to start anything new!
~*Akirys*~
