You guys are unbelievable! The reviews and alerts that have been coming in are mind blowing, thank you all so much!
My beta is Irritable_Grizzzly, she puts up with my over enthusiastic punctuation and my poor use of "of".
Like I said before, the next few chapters will be Edward heavy. This whole chapter is Edward, next will be Bella, and then we'll get 50/50 for the most part. It just depends on what they want to say.
Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight, I own a bottle of OPI Catherine the Grape nail polish.
Edward Masen
"I have an idea," I said and pulled out my phone to call Peter. After a brief conversation and an apology for calling so late, we headed for Peter and Charlotte's beach house. When we got there, as promised, they were nowhere to be found. It was just as well, since we weren't going to be going through the house anyway, but they were kind enough to leave some towels on the back porch for us. We spread out the towels and sat for what seemed like hours staring at the waves.
Bella finally broke the silence and asked, "What is it that you want from me?"
"What do you mean?" I glanced to my right and saw her playing with a thread on the towel.
"I mean, what is it that you expect from me? We have lunch and I thought things were great and we were getting along. Then, I ask for help, and you're a complete dick." I opened my mouth to protest but she held up her hand. "Then, you email me to apologize and I tell you that I'll let you know when I'm back in LA. You send me emails and texts and I am truly am sorry that I didn't get in touch with you, I really am. Now, here I am in LA. You buy Jake and me breakfast, but you don't say hello. I call you to try and thank you, and you're a complete asshole."
"I'm sorry." I hung my head in embarrassment.
"I know you are, but now we're here, sitting on this gorgeous beach with a clear sky and I'm confused. Half the time, I don't know whether I want to punch you in the balls or just kiss you. Your mood swings are giving me whiplash, and I'm not sure what you want from me. I need you to tell me."
I sat in silence, stunned at her confession.
"In all honesty, I'm not sure what I want," I lied. I knew what I wanted – I wanted her.
"I would really like for us to start over, get to know each other and see where things go." I grabbed her hand and the easiness that followed took over my senses. "Do you feel that, Bella?" She nodded. "I do know I want this feeling with me all the time, and if that means you have to be with me all the time, that's what I want. I'm a selfish bastard and I'll take what I can get when I can get it."
"I can't give you all of my time and I can't even give you half of me." Her voice was determined. "Christ, Edward! You do realize that I was supposed to be walking down the aisle in seven days, right? When I left to go back to New York, all I could think about was you while I was engaged to another!"
"Hold on a second. Did you and Emmett split because of me?" My hands started to shake with excitement until…
"Don't flatter yourself, Masen."
Oh. Never mind.
"When I got back home, I started questioning everything. I tried like hell to forget you, which is why I never wrote you back. I was engaged to Emmett all the while I had thoughts of you, it wasn't fair to him. Things between him and I were never better – hold that thought." She was interrupted by the sound of her phone vibrating.
"Hello?" she answered. "I'm fine, I'm with Masen. Yeah…Emmy, you need to shut the hell up right now or I'm calling Maria…I thought so. Oh really?" she quirked an eyebrow at me. "No, I'll tell him. Thanks for the heads-up. Okay, I'm going now. Love you, too…Shut up, jackass…bye."
I clenched my hands into the sand to keep from throwing her phone in the ocean. Who the fuck still uses lame pet names with their ex-fiancé? Apparently she does. Who the fuck says 'I love you' to their ex when they're out with someone else? The tone she took with him on the phone was casual and it was clear there was still some emotion involved with her connection to him.
"Okay, so where was I?" She paused and stood up. I wanted to question her about her phone call with Emmett, but I held my tongue. She started pacing in the sand. "Oh yeah, okay. So, things between Emmett and I were great, but I realized if I kept having thoughts about another man, it wasn't fair to him. About three weeks later, we split. It was a mutual agreement that we were better off as best friends than lovers. Emmett was going through something similar and he felt that if I could feel for someone in a romantic way more than I did for him, it was only fair for him to let me go and explore those feelings."
"So you do have feelings for me?"
She stopped pacing and looked down at me. "Remember how I said I was torn between punching you and kissing you?" I nodded. "Now is one of those times, so you need to shut the hell up if you want any kind of action later. Let me finish talking."
Irritated Bella was hot. I kept my mouth shut and let her continue talking. "Right now, Edward, I'm torn. I was with Emmett for the better part of almost six years. We were set to have a life together, and even though I realize that I am single now and I can do what I want, I'm not sure what I want. I'm not sure who I am anymore."
"Being with Emmett, and coming from the family I did allowed me to be taken care of all my life. I don't want that anymore. I liked who I was when I was with Emmett, but I still felt that I wasn't completely myself. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
It was pitch black on the beach. The only light around us was from the moon and the stars, but the look of hope and determination on her face was clear. She wanted me – no, needed me - to understand her.
"You're saying that you want to find yourself and figure things out before you jump into anything with anyone, am I right?" She stood there with her mouth open. "Don't look so surprised, Swan. I'm not as dense as you seem to believe. I listen." I smirked. "But, Bella, you need to understand that you don't have to do it alone."
"If I have someone with me, then how do I know what I'm doing isn't for another person and is what I truly want? I'm not broken by any means, but that doesn't mean I'm not fragile right now. I don't think I can give you what you want. This," she waved her hand back and forth, "could be something in the long-run – we both feel it. Unfortunately, I don't know how long it will be for me to be able to give you something more than just friendship."
I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. That was a word I rarely heard from the opposite sex. I could be friends with any female, but this was the one female I didn't want to be friends with. I wanted to ask her if I could still bury my cock in her pussy if I was friendly about it, but I thought better of it. She was opening up to me, although I wasn't sure why; but I wasn't about to stop her either. The more I could find out about how she worked the better for me later.
"Friend? I think I can do that." I stood up to join her at the water's edge. I held out my right hand for a handshake, but instead she slipped her left palm into mine. The low level current of chemistry passing between us only seemed to get stronger the longer we were silent. The water lapped at our toes for what seemed like hours as we stood holding hands. It was the most intimate moment of my life, and I was sharing it with my friend. It was heartbreaking and humbling at the same time. It was heartbreaking because I kept wanting more; I wanted to help her, but I knew deep down this was something she would have to do on her own. I was humbled because she chose to share her intimate feelings with me. It could be with Alice, Jake or even Emmett, but she chose me.
I could hear my blackberry chirping back on the towel. I was reluctant to let go of her hand. Thankfully, she didn't break our hold as we walked back to our spots. I checked my phone and saw the missed call was from an unknown number, but I could see I had a new voicemail. I would check it later; time with Bella was way more important to me.
"I forgot to give you a message from Emmett when he called earlier."
I looked at her, I ever even spoke to the guy and now he's giving me a message? "Yeah, but I didn't realize he was her date until we got there. I only knew she was going with her brother. I didn't put it all together until we got there. What were the chances that Tanya is Edward's sister and Irina is his publicist?"
"What did he say?"
"He was relaying that Alice was spending the night at your place with Jasper and he was going to Rosalie's house. My house is empty, but yours is going to be a love shack for the next few days unless you kick them out. He said that Jasper would have called you earlier, but his phone died and that Jasper wanted to give you a heads-up that Irina was looking for you."
Fuck! I forgot about Irina. "She's going to kill me, you know that?"
"Not really. So who's Irina?"
"Irina Merriman. She's my publicist and she's scary as fuck, too. You guys would get along great." Bella had a brief look of irritation cross her face.
"Are you saying I'm scary as fuck?"
"Goddamn right you are. Swan, you are beautiful and sexy, and you scare the ever living shit out of me."
"It's a good thing we're friends, Masen. Although, hearing you say 'fuck' turns me on," she whispered in my ear.
I let out a low groan. It was bad enough the breeze was blowing her perfume in my direction. The salty air from the ocean mixed with her saying that my cursing was turning her on – well, let's just say there wasn't going to be a subtle way to get rid of my erection.
"Shit, Swan. You can't say things like that. I feel it is my friendly duty to let you know that I am now thinking of you in a more than friendly way," I countered.
"That sounds like a personal problem to me," she said with a shrug and shot me an evil smile.
We folded the towels together and left them on Peter's back porch where we found them. As we walked back to her car, I debated on asking her a question that had been bothering me all night. I kept glancing at her out of the corner of my eye and running my hands through my hair trying to gather my nerves.
"Spit it out, Edward."
"What?"
"You look like you're constipated and running your hands through your hair. You clearly have something to say, so just say it." Damn she's perceptive.
"Well, there are a few things I've been wondering,"
"Like?"
"Well, for starters, do you have a thing for celebrities or just athletes?" She spun around and then did something I would have never expected.
She fucking slapped me.
"What the hell was that for, Bella?" I rubbed my cheek trying to sooth away the stinging feeling. The image of Bella in a boxing robe hit me full force – not helping.
"Who the fuck do you think you are asking me that? Is this a fucking joke to you? Am I a fucking joke to you? I knew this was a goddamn mistake! Go to hell, Edward." She stormed off towards the car.
"Bella, wait just a goddamn minute. That came out wrong!" I called after her. She wasn't stopping after I yelled; if anything, she was running faster. Running in the sand was a lot harder than it looked. I caught up to her at her car and my heart broke at the sight. She was slumped against the driver side door with her knees pulled to her chest and her head tilted towards the sky. Her eyes were closed but I could see the trail of tears reflecting in the moonlight. I sat down next to her. Her body slightly shifted towards mine, but she wouldn't look at me.
"I didn't ask for any of it, you know," she said softly.
"Bella, I didn't-"
"No, you're going to shut up and listen, and then you can apologize all you want. If you want to hang out with me, you need to learn to control your mouth. Charlie has a saying, 'put your mind in motion before you put your mouth in gear'. Do you understand what that means?"
"I got your meaning."
"Good, now shut up for a second because I'm only going to explain this once." She turned and finally opened her eyes to look at me. I opened my mouth and she quirked an eyebrow, daring me to speak. I shut my mouth and nodded for her to continue. I saw her lips curl into a small smile.
"When I met Emmett, I was working at a bookstore. I didn't know who he was, or who his parents were. I certainly didn't expect him to know who I was. Emmett was well-known for playing college ball, but we were together before he turned pro.
I know Jake because we grew up together. William Black, the CEO of Wolf Investments is Jake's dad. Charlie and Billy are best friends. I knew Jake while he was still in diapers. We are both aware of how we know each other, so before you start saying stupid shit like I'm a star fucker, think about what you say before you say it."
Goddamn it, I felt like an asshole.
"You're damn lucky I like you, Masen. That's the only thing keeping your balls in tact right now." Her smile was slightly bigger than before.
"I can see why you're so successful in media relations, Swan – you're a real wordsmith. Look, Bella, I'm sorry. My question came out wrong. I swear I didn't mean to offend you. I can't promise this will be the last time I'll say something wrong, but promise me that you won't slap me next time. That really fucking hurt."
I touched my cheek again, thankful that the stinging feeling was gone.
"I'm just wondering," I continued, "if you and Emmett were supposed to be getting married in a week, how come he's in town attending a premiere with you but he's not with you? How is it that you guys are actually on a double date? Isn't that awkward? The whole thing is just weird."
"It's not your place to judge, Edward. I can understand what you're saying though. I'll answer your questions, but then no more talking, okay? I'm pretty mentally exhausted, not to mention starving.
"Emmett is in town because he had a job interview and he was already planning on attending with me before we split. We were able to double up, because like I said, Jake and I have known each other for years. He and Emmett played in the same fantasy football league last year after Emmett was hurt. It was awkward to see him on a date already, though, even if the split was mutual. Nobody wants to feel that they are easy to get over, even if they remain close afterwards.
"Our situation is unconventional, I can admit that, but it works for us. Hell, our whole relationship was incredibly unconventional," she added as an afterthought. "It looks as if Emmett is going to be moving out here, so we will be seeing a lot of each other. He was my friend before we were together and he'll still be one of my best friends after this is over. Is that going to be a problem for you?"
Abso-fucking-lutely this was going to be a problem for me. "Not at all," I lied – my second one of the night. I didn't want to make a habit out of lying to her, but I was smart enough to know when to keep my mouth shut.
"Liar."
Busted.
"I don't blame you. I'm close to Emmett, and we tell each other that we love each other because it's true. The circumstances and what kind of love we have for each other may have changed, but it doesn't change that we do still care for one another.
If you want to lie and tell me that it doesn't bother you, then fine – lie. I will hold you to it and then you can't come back later and say that it bothers you. I'm trusting you, Edward. I'm sure you have plenty of platonic female friends and that doesn't bother me. In fact, it would be very hypocritical of me. So I'll ask you again, does it bother you?"
"Yes, it does, but we're going to be just friends, right? If we aren't going to explore what's going on between us in the near future – until you're ready – it's going to bother me that you have other men wanting more than just friendship."
I sighed and was nervous about how she was going to take the next part of what I had to say. "Bella, I meant what I said earlier, about being a selfish bastard and taking what I can get. Right now, if being a friend is what you need and all you can handle, then that's what I'll be. I will want more – hell, I would love more now – but I get that you aren't ready yet. I just want you to know that when you're ready, I will be too." I exhaled and closed my eyes, waiting for her to tell me I was a fucking idiot.
"You're a fucking idiot. You know that, right?" she said and I nodded, knowing she could feel my head move. "Hey, look at me," she said softly. I opened my eyes as she brought her finger under my chin and guided my eyes to hers.
"The only reason I say that is because only an idiot would wait around for a girl to become emotionally available again knowing full-well she might want to meet other people – to be with other people – only for the chance that said girl will come back to said idiot."
"Said girl is worth it," I murmured shifting my gaze away from hers.
"Thank you. I needed to hear that." Our faces had moved closer, her warm breath was lightly brushing against my cheek. "Would you be willing to do a friend a favor?" My eyes shot up to hers only to be distracted to her lips when she ran the tip of her tongue along her top lip.
"What would you like me to do?" I whispered.
She closed her eyes and took a slow deep breath as if she were settling her nerves. If I were to look down, I would have seen that my hands were shaking in anticipation.
She opened her eyes and looked straight into mine. "Would you show said girl what she is coming back to?"
"Close your eyes, Bella."
She closed her eyes. I lightly placed my hands on her shoulders and slid them around her neck. I moved my left hand into her hair and moved my other hand to her waist and lightly placed pressure on her hipbone. I knew I only had one chance to get this right.
I leaned in and gently brushed my nose along her jaw line and placed a light kiss at the base of her ear. I felt her shudder and I couldn't help but smile in response. I pulled back enough to see a small smile grace her lips. I leaned in again and brushed my lips against hers once, then twice. The third time I applied more pressure and instantly felt her respond to me. Her hands balled up the fabric of my shirt and pulled me closer to her, mashing our mouths closer together.
The electricity in the air was beginning to escalate. What was once a calm and soothing hum was now akin to a frayed wire. She pulled back and took a deep breath of air and looked at me with wide eyes. I can only imagine my look was similar and I was met with a small grin. Before I knew was happening, she moved back in with more force than before and pressed her lips to mine. Our tongues met somewhere in the middle and I was lost in the feeling of the wet and strong warmth as they slid back and forth, creating great friction.
Bella let out a faint moan, but it was enough to snap me out of the lust-induced haze we had created. I pulled back and brought our foreheads together. "We need to stop." It killed me to put an end to our kiss. It was, hands-down, one of the most intense and passion-filled kisses of my life. Bella nodded reluctantly in agreement. She stood up and offered me her hand. "You…you might need to give me a minute," I said bashfully.
"Okay…OH! No problem!" Even with the orange glow of the street lamps I could see her embarrassment. She turned around while I adjusted myself and I pushed myself up off the ground.
"I think we need to get you home and fed," I said, opening her car door.
"Where are you going to go if Alice and Jasper are at your place, and Emmett and Rose are at hers? Mine is all empty. I've heard Alice having sex, and it ain't pretty, Masen."
"Jasper lives in my guest house for the most part, although you'd never know it by the way he eats and drinks everything in the main house." I slipped my hand into hers and hoped she wouldn't pull away. "We can go back to your place. I swear to you that I would be a perfect gentleman," I said as I held up my hand in the Boy Scout gesture. "Scout's honor."
"Why do I have a feeling you were never a Boy Scout?" she snorted.
"I went to a thing with Jasper once," I said with a shrug and shot her a quick smile.
"So…Vancouver, eh?" Bella gave her best Canadian accent.
"I think it's going to be interesting and I'm looking forward to it," I confessed. That was the only admission about the Canada filming that I was willing to give. Bella had just spent the past two hours confessing to me that she is excited to be on her own and figure out who she is and what she wants. The last thing she needs to hear is my selfish wants about how I was going to get to be around her for three and a half months.
"Thank you for backing the film, by the way. I never got to properly thank you."
"You're welcome. I read the script, and it's good, Edward. It's really good and I think you're a great fit for the role, but what do I know? I'm just a PR person, it's my job to be there to make sure you aren't banging any extras behind the catering truck, and if you are, it's my job to make sure that it doesn't get out." I winced wondering if this was what she truly thought of me – Masen Manwhore Extraordinaire?
"I don't think you have to worry about me doing anything like that. Is my reputation really that bad that you have that low of an opinion of me? You tell me not to judge your relationships, but here you are clearly throwing out preconceived notions of your own. That's hardly fair, Bella."
"You're right, I'm sorry."
Huh, that was easy.
"So why is it that you're coming? Why not just send a publicist from the studio?" This was something Jasper and I had talked about repeatedly. Jasper was convinced she was going for me, and I was convinced he was a fucking idiot.
"A lot of people at SMG thought that backing the film was a mistake. That SMG wasn't ready to move into that part of entertainment. Leah Clearwater just signed with us and that has been the closest to movies we've gotten. For us to come out and put a substantial amount of money down as our first venture, it's a risky move. Especially when someone," she said as shot me a look, "commands an eight million dollar a film salary."
"What does my salary have to do with it?"
"It means more money we can put into the picture, that's all. Charlie wants me there because he trusts me. If we're paying you that much money for a movie, as well as covering all other expenses, Charlie trusts Angela and me to do our jobs and make sure everything goes smoothly."
"I see, so what happens if I don't hold up my eight-million-dollar bargain?"
"Well that's what Robert Pattinson is for," she bit her bottom lip trying not to smile. I knew she was trying to get a rise out of me. That British fucker had been snagging all the roles that I turned down.
"Whatever," I scoffed.
"We're here," she said as she pulled up to the front gate of my house. I gave her the gate code so we could pull up to the front door. It seemed to me that she was driving extra slow, letting her car coast up the drive. Neither of us was ready for the night to end, but to go any further would complicate and make our relationship/friendship/whatever more than awkward.
"You're sure you don't want to come in?" I offered. Dumbass. What happened to keeping things from getting awkward and more complicated?
"Yeah, I'm sure. I need to get home, and I'm exhausted. It's been a very long day, a great day, but a long one nonetheless. Should I walk you to your door and give you a proper goodnight?"
"So I'm the chick now?"
"Eh," was her non-committal reply.
"I know your feet hurt, love. Don't worry about it. I'll just say good night here." I grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. We both leaned in simultaneously; the hand that I kissed went into my hair pulling me closer. I cupped her cheek as our lips touched, I opened my mouth and she slid her tongue toward mine, her grip on my hair tightening. I let out a small groan as I slid my hand to the back of her head. Then she suddenly pulled back with a shocked look in her eyes.
"What? Did I do something wrong?" I asked.
"No, I just-I just thought I saw something out there," she stammered as her eyes scanned my driveway and front porch. There was nothing. After a moment she relaxed and brought her lips back to mine.
The kiss this time was more forceful. She put both of her hands where my neck meets my shoulders and leaned over the console. For a split second I thought she was going to crawl into my lap.
Suddenly, out of nowhere there were bright lights coming from outside.
Camera flashes.
Any guesses as to what's going on?
Reviews are just as good as making out with Edward.
