A/N: Technology hates me. My laptop got a virus. I had to format the hard drive. I'm typing this on my grandparent's computer. I started writing the day I gave chp 6 to my beta, which was on February 28th. I finished this chp on March 3rd, and my beta took forever, then forced me to rewrite parts, then he didn't actually edit it, so I tried to do it myself... This is the result of that.

As of 3/15: he finally did it, so I posted the new version

Review!

There is one important scene in this chapter. The rest is pointless humor or something that I couldn't leave out, due to the pointless humor.

"Normalish talking"

"Normalish thinking"

"Demonic talking"

"Demonic thinking"

Me! The author if I have something to explain

The betaer, if he has anything to explain

(A/N: Me saying something irrelevant)

(B/N: Betaer saying something irrelevant)

Enjoy!

(I probably should have said this in like the third chapter, but Third Fang owns Yet Again With a Little Extra Help, and because of that, the DCD. If Third Fang is reading, sorry if I made you mad...)


[Empty plot of land in the clan compound district, day after the meeting with the council]

"...Where the fuck are we gonna get a house to put here?" asked Zen.

"We could always draw a massive alchemy array and build it all at once..." said Azure.

"We will still need a plan for what the house will look like... We could always use kage bunshin..." said Zen.

"Only you can use those...And not very well..."

"Yea... But I can also make more than everyone in this entire village, so building a house with a few thousand clones shouldn't take more than a week after the planning is done..."

"Key word: shouldn't. You'll somehow manage to fuck it up."

"..."

"...So how much space do we have to work with?"

"About a thousand square yards... I think"

"We'll need a training ground. And the main complex will have to have at least ten bedrooms and an equal number of bathrooms." Azure paused and tapped his chin. "We're also gonna need a large kitchen, a bigger living space, and a dining room. That, and maybe aa giant sound-proofed room for all of our musical instruments. What else?"

"A gaming room, an immense library, and a study for each of us."

"...That sounds about right. But what's it gonna look like?"

"..."

"..."

"...Could you just draw a rough sketch? How many floors, placement of windows and doors? That stuff. Cause' if you draw the rough sketch, I'll take care of the architecture and building. Lika, when I finish drawing the final copy, you do the interior design. Angle, go survey the exact dimensions of the land. Setsuna, you draw the plans for the landscape. Darren, Scotty, go get the musical instruments, the gaming equipment, and our electrical generator." There were nods all around. Zen tended to be the best of the group's large scale planners.

[The architectural plans for the entire house and landscape were finished within three hours. The army of kage bunshin completed the house five days after that.]


[Academy, when Azure was assigned there]

"Class, we are getting a new teacher today. He will be with us until he pays off the damages done to the academy...and the surrounding area. Azure! get in here!" Azure walked into the room, followed by a chunin with red eyes and raven black hair. "Class, the blonde one is Azure and the other one is Kurenai Yuhi, who will be watching him to make sure he doesn't do something stupid...I hope." The children mumbled amongst themselves.

"Hey! You're one of the odd people that randomly appeared here." yelled (guess who?) Naruto.

"Uh...Yeah... I am... And thanks for your help, even if you didn't do anything... I was the only one with experience, so they forced me into this..." mumbled Azure.

"What?"

"Teaching experience. I used to school potential alchemists until...never mind."

"Okay class, time for a lecture on the various forms of clones. The one you will be learning is the standard clone technique, and it creates an intangible copy of the user. It is easy to tell which is the real one because the clones can't interact with the environment. This technique requires a small amount of chakra, and you must make the ram, snake, and tiger hand signs, which look like this." he shows them the hand signs. "The elemental clones make copies of the user out of whatever element you choose. Each takes a different amount of chakra. The elemental clones are water, earth, mud, rock wood and in theory, you could make wind, lightning, ice, metal, sand, and fire clones, but none have been successful as far as we know. There is also a kinjutsu clone, the shadow clone, that uses a huge amount of chakra, and transfers the memories of the clone's 'life' beck to the user. This makes shadow clones perfect for training muscle memory and chakra flow for jutsu, and also for recon on missions. It is a kinjutsu because of the massive chakra consumption, and the memory backlash when the user dispels the clones.

Oddly enough, this lecture took all day, and by the end, Naruto, Shikamaru, Kiba, Chouji, and even Sasuke were asleep on their desks.


[After class]

After class, Naruto stayed to talk to Azure. "Azure-sensei-"

Azure cut him off. "Don't call me sensei. Just like I'm sure Zen has told you, I also hate titles, except when they sound badass."

"Uh...Okay...So what stuff are we gonna learn? I need to know what I have to know to pass, so I can sleep without fear of failing"

"...Okay... To pass, you need to make three clones, do a kwarimi, a henge, show adequate skill in your hand-to-hand style of choice, hit a target with at least five kunai and five shiruken, display an adequate amount of stealth on an obstacle course, and take a written test on the history of Konoha."

Naruto stared at him with a dumbfounded look on his face. "I can already do that... just don't tell anyone. I'm supposed to keep my real abilities secret. So that means I can sleep in class?"

Azure sighed "Yes, I guess so, but I'm going to ask Zen if you can really do all that."

Naruto jumped around like the ADHD kid he is. "Sweet! now I don't have to pay attention to Iruka!"

Azure sweatdropped. "Hey... Naruto... I know this seems stupid, but could you kelp me unlock my chakra? If you haven't noticed, I'm not from here, so I can't use chakra..."

"So while Zen is... training me, I can also tor- I mean train you? Okay, this will be fun. Meet me here an hour before the academy starts." Said Naruto with an evil smile


[The next day]

"Okay, close your eyes and feel around your body for two sources of energy. one of them is spiritual energy and the other is physical energy. When you find them, try to push them together in equal parts. If they mix correctly, you have chakra. I'll show you how to use it tomorrow, for now focus on mixing them." explained Naruto.


[Later that year]

"Okay, today we will be working on your chakra control." said Iruka "Come up and get a leaf and put it on your forehead and concentrate your chakra there so it sticks."

Naruto snorted to himself. He had been doing this since the second day of the academy. Tree climbing at the end of first semester, water walking in the early second year. He had just started kunai balancing and, with his shadow clones, he was getting close to mastering it. Next was balancing on senbon, then waterfall running, then he could make up his own, or do more difficult things, like going up the waterfall on his hands, or his tails. (He gained control of the second tail on his tenth birthday earlier that year. When he gains control of a tail, he grows another one). He had Zen apply a chakra disruption seal to him so it seemed that he didn't have control of his chakra.

He put the leaf on his forehead and concentrated chakra there. The leaf flew ten feet away.

He got the leaf, and put it on his forehead, and tried again with less chakra, and it fell off.

He picked it up, put it on his forehead, and tried again with more chakra, and it flew five feet away.

This process continued for about five minutes until he got it.

"Iruka-sensei! I did it!" shouted a seemingly excited Naruto.

"Good. Try and keep it there for as long as you can." said Iruka.

Naruto did just that, but seemed to fail at first after a minute, but after about ten tries, he made it stick for about 25 minutes, and was getting better every time, or so everyone thought...


[In the Hokage's office, roughly two weeks after the initial hop.]

Azure, Lika and Angle walked into the office.

"Well hello, what can I do for you today?" asked the old Hokage.

"We think it's time for you to know the real reason why we are here. You will tell no one. If you do, we kill you, find the person you told, torture them to know if they told anyone, and kill them once they have, repeat until everyone that knows is dead. It translates into your classification system as a SSS-class secret, possibly higher."Azure breathed deeply and rubbed his throat. The Hokage nodded, then made the hand seal for the privacy barrier.

"Okay, listen good, because we're only saying this once. The paintball game was a cover for what we're actually here for. Yes, it was fun, but there's more to it. Our story requires some background information, so it's time for a little history lesson. Hell is made up of nine circles, the first being the furthest out and the eighth being in the center, and the ninth underground beneath it. There is a war going on in Hell now. We are here to recruit immortals to fight in the war. The ninth circle, which is larger than the rest combined, is at war with the rest, the eighth being the battleground, and sometimes the ninth, if we can push them back enough." said Lika.

"Why did the war start? and why do you sound so... collected" asked Sarutobi.

"The demons of the ninth circle were tired of being 'punished' for crimes they did not commit. they revolted against their opressors, and after they won, they declared war on everyone else...that was nearly fifteen thousand years ago." said Lika

"All dimensional timelines revolve around Hell. Literally. If Hell were a circle, the timelines would all be tangents, intersecting at the beginning. Our dimensional abilities can't take us between dimensions directly. Hell is kinda like a hub for all of the dimensions, so we have to go to Hell to be able to go somewhere else. Our space abilities allow us to go to any place within the universe we are in at the time, but not go to a different spot on the timeline. Our time abilities are the same as our dimensional abilities. We have to go back to Hell to go to a different time." Angle said with a yawn.

"We will help as many people as we can, so we will take the occasional mission to put our skills to use. I suggest listing all of us at elite jounin, but at kage level. We will train Naruto, and those of his friends that have both potential and proper mindset. If this world becomes peaceful within their lives, we will take them, and any others we might find, back to fight, because they will not be needed here at that point." said Azure

"So your goal is to bring peace to us, and then take away our greatest warriors to fight for you?" asked the old Hokage.

"Yes. If Hell is taken over, all worlds will fall. And none will be spared" (A/N: DUN! DUN! DUUUUNNNN!) (B/N: This sounds cheesy as hell, doesn't it?)


[Academy, late 2nd year]

"Today, we're sparring. It's Shino vs. Chouji, Sasuke vs. Ino, Sakura vs. Shikamaru, Hinata vs. Kiba, and Naruto vs. Kurenai." said Iruka


[Shino vs. Chouji]

Shino stood absolutely still. Chouji stood ten feet away in the first stance of his clan's style. Chouji started to waver back and forth, as if he was trying to stay awake, but failing.

Chouji proceeded to pass out on the ground, making Shino the winner.

(Shino used his bugs to drain Chouji's chakra. Chouji passed out from chakra depletion.)


[Sasuke vs. Ino]

"I give up. I can't hurt Sasuke-kun! I love him too much!" Screamed Ino in her fangirl voice.

"Hn" said Sasuke


[Sakura vs. Shikamaru]

"Kage mane, success." said Shikamaru as he reached for a kunai. he got one out of his pouch, and Sakura reached for where hers would be, if she were right-handed. Shikamaru simply walked up to her, and making her walk to him, and put the kunai at her throat. "Troublesome. Forfeit."

She did just that. "I give up."


[Hinata vs. Kiba]

"Hey Hinata, would you just give up? I'm obviously betterer and awesomer than you, and girls can't beat guys ever." said Kiba, who was being extremely arrogant.

"A-Ano, K-Kiba-kun, I-I w-won't give u-up." stuttered Hinata.

"Okay, but don't start crying when I win." said Kiba as he ran towards Hinata.

Hinata stepped to the side and sent multiple palm strikes at his lung. She hit (of course) and closed a few tenketsu there. Kiba lunged at her again, and this time she closed off the tenketsu in his arm, making it hang limp. This continued, with Hinata closing off Kiba's tenketsu, until all of the tenketsu in his arms and legs, and a few in his torso, were closed, leaving him a heap on the floor.

Hinata took out a kunai and held it to his throat. "Give up, Kiba-kun." (adrenaline makes her stop stuttering.)

Kiba sighed. "I give up."

Hinata then reopened his tenketsu, and walked away, probably looking for Naruto.


[Naruto vs. Kurenai]

Naruto took a sloppy version of the academy taijutsu stance, only for Kurenai to disappear. "Genjutsu... but I'm still supposed to be an idiot, so..." He looked around seemingly randomly, only to get hit in the face by... something invisible that he could sense, but decided not to show that he could. "What the fuck?"

This continues until Naruto 'passed out' from the 'pain.' In reality, he fell asleep from boredom.


Omake: Naruto being chased by Anko

Naruto was walking up to the Dango stand that Anko was at most of the time. his mission today was to piss her off and get her to chase him. How? He was going to find a way to get the trench coat off of her. (A/N: Perversion: Best. Weapon. Ever.)

Naruto walked up to Anko and said "Uh... You're Anko... Right?"

Anko turned around slowly. "Yeah, gaki, and who are you?"

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and I'm gonna be Hokage!" he said, then fell forward, his face slamming into her stomach, and throwing open her trench coat, revealing that she indeed did not wear a bra, then running like hell expecting the worst.

"STUPID FUCKING KID! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!" screamed Anko as she closed her trench coat and pulled out a few... hundred kunai from wherever the hell she keeps them and throwing them in handfuls at him.

"Now I see why they consider this training" thought Naruto as he dodged the dozens of kunai and shiruken that were being thrown at him.

"Dammit gaki! I only want to hurt you a little!" screamed Anko as she chased him.

"No! I don't like pain! Pain hurts!"

They continued running around the village randomly screaming about pain and blood until Anko got tired and went home.

A similar thing happened every day after that.


A/N: I think I now have a sequel. If you're confused about the timeline, look at the brackets after the scene breaks.

(B/N: If you need a better explanation, just ask.)

Give me new ideas! Give me constructive criticisms!

Vote and tell me what other girls you want to be in the poll!

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