I do not own these characters. I am not Stephenie Meyer. I am glad you are all enjoying my fan fiction and I appreciate the wonderful reviews.
BPOV
I was back home. Or close as you could call it to where it all began. I felt like I could breathe for the first time in 25 years. Was I finally healing? No. I would never be whole again, not without him. My fading human memories mocked me even now. I thought about him every minute of every day, especially when I looked at our daughter.
Renesmee was so beautiful, and so much like Edward. This both pleased me and saddened me. He had never known her, would probably never know her. When we moved back here from Italy, I had moved us up and down the western seaboard relocating every few years in hopes of finding the Cullens but had only ended up disappointed year after year. I had decided that this was to be our last move and then we would return to Italy and give up my foolish dreams.
They had been good to me, the Volturi. I had run to them from Edward not knowing where else to turn. As much as I loved Edward, I had wanted Renesmee as much as I wanted air to breathe. I never thought I wanted to have children when I had decided to enter this life, but I hadn't dreamed of the possibility that Edward and I could. That was the clincher. It was not just a child I wanted, but his child. He, of course, was only concerned with my safety and wanted to stop the pregnancy. I had other ideas.
I had called Rosalie for help and she had given it. She told me to go to Italy and had called Edward in the airport distracting him enough that I could make my escape. I can only imagine his panic when he had realized that I was gone. It was the hardest thing I had ever had to do and it ripped my heart out. Our honeymoon on Isle Esme should have been the beginning of forever with Edward when in actuality it was the end of us.
The Italian coven had sheltered me and brought me through a pregnancy I should not have survived. A pregnancy that had lasted a short 30 days. In actuality I had not really survived, the venom that had impregnated me had eventually seeped from the amniotic fluid and into my bloodstream changing me. It was a slow painful change coming to completion after 35 days. The Italians had been forced to take the child from my body by cutting into me before the change had completed. They were worried that if they did not, the child would kill me ripping out of me, or worse, that my change would kill the child. I still do not know how they managed, but we had both survived.
Renesmee had grown rapidly, gaining full maturity at 7 years old. She had the gift or showing you her memories or thoughts through touch. The opposite of Edward's gift. I was also gifted. The privacy of my mind I had enjoyed as a human continued, and allowed me to block other vampire's powers. I was also able to affect the four elements. The Volturi had helped me in those early days to hone my talents and control my bloodlust despite the fact that it went against their lifestyle. We had finally left Volterra when Ness was five. I felt I had gained enough control over my abilities and I wanted to find Edward so we returned to the States. 20 years later and we were still searching.
I had thought a lot about what I would say to Edward if I ever found him again. What I had done to him, to us, was truly unforgiveable and I knew I had probably hurt him beyond repair. I only hoped he would be willing to get past his anger towards me to allow him to get to know his daughter. She deserved to know him and wanted to know him. She had asked me about him many times over the years, but I was still unable to talk about him. The heartbreak I lived with every day was still so fresh to me. I would have found a way out of my miserable existence long ago if it was not for my daughter.
We had moved here last week and I immediately registered myself as a dance major at the community college and registered Ness into the local high school. I had previously received degrees in English Literature but had taken a dance class on day on a whim of Ness'. I found that I enjoyed it immensely considering that I now had the grace I lacked when I was human. Dancing soon became an outlet for the emotional turmoil I was undergoing daily.
My classes had already commenced the week before, so I had arranged to drop Ness off for her first day of school, attend my classes and then leave her the car so I could hunt. Ness was nervous the whole way to school. I knew she struggled with our existence as it made it impossible for her to form bonds and friendships with humans. She was currently trying in vain to tame her unruly hair, so much like her father's.
"Ness, you are beautiful! It will be alright…." I reassured her gently.
"Bye Mom," she replied, sticking her tongue out at me. I winked at her and blew her a quick kiss before spinning out of the parking lot leaving a cloud of dust behind me.
The day passed by quickly and after dropping off the car for Ness I found myself running through the forest, reveling in how much this felt like home. I came upon a herd of deer and quickly dispatched two, sating myself. I ran awhile longer enjoying the feeling of the wind in my hair then thought of Ness and wheeled quickly towards home. She would be waiting for me.
I frowned as I emerged out of the forest behind our home. The house sat cold and dark, with no sign of my daughter. I ran to the door and entered calling her name. When she did not answer I ran to the garage and noted that the car was not here either. This was not like Ness. She was always responsible. My fear kicked up a notch and I ran to my purse and pulled out my cell phone and activated the two way feature to page her.
'Mom, " her voice came over the two way and I immediately knew by her tone that something was seriously wrong.
I panicked "Ness baby, where are you! I came home and found the house empty. Are you okay?"
If anyone had hurt her I would kill them. I felt a growl rumbling in my chest at this thought and the wind picked up outside. Damn it! I had to control myself. I was probably overreacting. I stared at the phone ready to page again if no response was forthcoming. The two way paged back and I stumbled backwards losing all my composure I heard his voice.
"Bella love, she is here with me, she is fine."
I gripped the counter leaving two indented handprints as I gasped. No. It couldn't be. I picked up my phone which I had dropped at the impossible sound of his voice and pages back "Oh my God! Edward?"
Renesmee paged back and told me she was coming home. She was worried about me. My beautiful daughter was worried about me when she had just found her long lost family and her father. This was not fair. I tried to convince her to stay. It was only right that she stay and get to know them all. I wanted this for her, but was so torn wanting it for myself too. In fact I wanted Edward more than I wanted my own life at that moment and Ness knew it.
I paged back again my voice betraying my emotions "It's okay Ness. I-I…..you should get to know your…father. Talk to him. He is….he is….just….stay hon, give him a chance."
She refused and reiterated that she was coming home. She was going to have questions for me and I knew that this time I would not be able to get out of talking to her about my betrayal of Edward. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. This was not going to be easy. I ran upstairs to change from my soiled hunting clothes and slipped into a pair of my practice clothes. I wanted a few minutes in my studio to clear my head before facing the harsh reality that I was going to have to explain to my daughter. I could only hope that she would forgive me. She was really all I had.
I flipped on my stereo and sat on the chair in my studio trying to think of what I would say to Ness while the music played around me. A song suddenly came on that reminded me of Edward and I got up and began to move letting the music take me. The words reflected so well what I was feeling. I stopped suddenly realizing that while this situation may have a happy ending for Ness it would not for me. If Ness was angry enough she might leave me and live with the Cullens. Edward might be happy to see Ness, but would never be able to love me and trust me like he had those many years ago. Then there was the question of my immortality. Edward had agreed to change me after our wedding, but he had never been happy about it. He loved the human Bella, he would never love me as I was now.
It was suddenly too much for me and I felt my hands gripping the chair. I sobbed and threw the chair against the wall, not caring what damage I caused. I had accomplished what I meant to reuniting Renesmee with Edward, but what was left for me now? I fell to my knees, sobbing at the unfairness of it all. The reality was that I had found him, but I would never have his heart again and I didn't know if I was strong enough to face that. At least in all my memories he had looked at me with love. How was I going to get through this?
I suddenly felt two arms around me and I was pulled tight against a strong masculine body. I knew his scent anywhere. Edward.
I felt him bury his face in my hair and breathe in my scent and his arms tightened around me. I peeked up to see Ness standing in the door watching us with a grin on her face. I pulled back to look at his face. The need to see his face overpowering everything else.
He stared at me with his mouth slightly parted, his eyes dark with emotion. He stroked his hand through my hair and I sighed leaning into his touch. He shuddered then and looked into my eyes "What did they do to you?" he whispered. "When did they change you, love?" I started upright and pulled away from him so fast that he grasped empty air where I had once been. I knew it. He wouldn't want me now. The disappointment when he had asked was written all over his face. I gasped again and thunder boomed outside the house. I looked wildly to the French doors that led to the backyard from the studio and without thinking, I did what I was good at, what I had done so many years ago, I ran from him.
