Blood & Water
Raven frowned at the laundry basket in the middle of the bedroom that Robin had moved. "I thought you were going to take care of that."
Robin arched an eyebrow above his mask as he pulled his uniform up over his head, throwing it on top of the basket. "And I am. I'll do it tomorrow. Scout's honor." Robin told her, giving the sign.
"Were you even in the Boy Scouts?"
"I'm crushed." Robin stated, flattening a palm against his bare chest. "So little trust, Raven."
"I trust you just fine. I'm merely probing to determine your sincerity."
"I'm always sincere." Robin stated, pulling a pair of cotton sleep shorts out of the dresser that contained his smallclothes and civilian garb and disappearing into their bathroom Moments later, the bottom of his uniform landed next to the laundry basket, and Robin was pacing their makeshift apartment, brushing his teeth as he walked around in his shorts, the cool breeze from the air conditioning feeling pleasant against his skin. He crossed the main room of the apartment to look out at the night skyline of the city beyond the bay as he brushed, making a gesture to his partner for her to avail herself of the bathroom.
Raven raised an eyebrow at his gesture, but moved into the bathroom to begin her own nightly hygienic routine. The square mirror over the sink reflected her image back at her, and she was surprised at how domestic she appeared, her shoulder length hair rather gathered gently behind her head. Every so often, she got a glimpse that, in her mannerisms, she had changed somewhat. It was more than just sharing her personal living space with her partner and daughter, it was a change in her priorities. While she was still rather private and guarded about many things by nature, she found the way that her partner didn't poke and prod and try to worm all her secrets out tended to put her at ease, and make her more inclined to open the door a little. Which, she supposed, was his plan all along. But that didn't bother her. It was his way, and getting upset with Robin for using his detective skills felt too much like than anyone being upset with her for being moody or antisocial.
Carefully, Raven pulled a thin black slip from the hangar on the back of the bathroom door, stripping off her sweatsuit and undergarments and pulling on her sleepwear. She went about brushing her teeth in an efficient manner, using the mirror to expedite the process and for help with flossing any particles of food that might have been stuck in her teeth. Satisfied she emerged from the bathroom to find that Robin had used their small kitchen to finish brushing his own teeth—his brush now laying damp and clean on a paper towel by the kitchen sink. Raven opened the refrigerator and helped herself to a small glass of water before heading back to the bedroom.
She arrived to find Robin lying on the bed, looking comfortable. "You're on my side." She protested.
"Am I?" he asked, nestling himself beneath the sheet.
"Yes, you are."
"So take my side."
"I've spent a lot of time training that side of the mattress. Lest you forget, this was my bed before it was our bed."
"I offered to get us a new bed when we moved in together." Robin stated simply. "You said no."
"I happen to like this bed."
"So I've noticed. I like it to. But I enjoy it more when you're in it."
Raven stood with her hands on her hips. "I'm sure. For the record, taking my side of the bed and making smart remarks is not a gateway to coitus."
"Really?" Robin asked, sitting up to look more closely at his partner. "I'm rather certain that it's worked before."
"Move." Raven told him, and Robin picked up on the connotation that it was less of a request and more of an order. He was about to protest, but thought better of it, sliding beneath the covers to the other side of the bed. "Thank you." Raven said, frowning as she slid her body under the covers. "You made the sheets warm."
"I've got a high metabolism." Robin shrugged.
"I hate getting into a warm bed, I prefer to warm it with my own body heat."
"That makes two of us. I prefer the warmth of your body heat too."
"Are you still thinking something's going to happen after that stunt?"
"Come on, Rae. I know you better than that. You like having me around. It keeps you on your toes. Don't you like having someone sleep next to you?"
"Sometimes." She admitted. "I think of you as more of an overgrown body pillow that I have to share my covers with.
"I guess it's a start."
"It's gotten you this far." Raven told him, her voice softening a bit.
Robin looked at her, admiration in his eyes for her incessant value as a teammate, loyalty as a friend, and her patience as a lover. He hadn't exactly been shopping for candidates to start a family with, but given how things turned out, maybe he was never meant to. "Talk to me, Rae." He asked, reaching out and stroking a lock of violet hair. "You really want to get married."
"It's alright if you don't." She responded immediately, shielding herself from any emotional letdown.
"No, that's not it at all. I just want us to be together for the right reasons."
"It is a little like a comic book, isn't it? We're not exactly poster parents."
"I don't know, we are model citizens."
"Yes, there is that. But there's also the fact that we come from backgrounds that are a bit tragic. We've walked through the fires of our pasts and mistakes more than once. This wasn't how I had planned my life. Even after Trigon. The whole settling down, raising a family thing? Not so high on my priority list."
"Funny how things work out, isn't it?"
"I don't have any regrets. I wonder, sometimes. If I had stayed here in Jump City. If we hadn't done all those things together—the night watches, the cases, the social functions, the late night talks-"
"The sex?" Robin added.
"And they say the human male has only one thing on his mind." Raven rolled her eyes.
"Raven, all of those things were part of an adventure, but what we have amounts to more than just some good times in Gotham."
"What about Starfire?" She asked. "Robin, it was never my intention to interfere, even in Gotham. But even I have my limits. I always liked you. But it was the working intimately together, seven days a week, in close quarters that awakened me to the desire to have you as a mate. If I hadn't gone to Gotham, it may never have happened."
"I think it would have." Robin explained. "Sure, I liked being with Starfire, there was nothing wrong with her at all. She has plenty of admirable traits. Things with Starfire were nice. They were really nice. But…what we have is deeper than that. When people like the Davenports as me about you, about us…I don't say "It's nice." I tell them that I'm happy. And that's not a feeling I'm accustomed to. Things between Starfire and I were nice, but between you and me…"
"Yes?" Raven prompted.
"They're great. So if you really want to get married, then I'm for it. Honestly, I never even addressed the issue because I had rather assumed you wouldn't want the complication of a husband."
"Indeed. But, the facts are that, ceremony or no, I already have them. I might even be persuaded to miss some of them if you were gone. Besides, there's Rain to think of."
"You know I would never run out on Rain even if you asked me to leave. I won't leave her without a Father."
"Robin, even if things between us somehow went bad, I would not ask you to leave without good reason. I'm talking about…more mortal things, I guess. If you die, I want your stuff." Raven told him, and Robin appreciated her attempt to lighten the mood.
"You've already got the best of me." He smiled.
"I want the rest of you too." She spoke in a monotone voice, but the depth of those words carried the meaning clearly to Robin.
"Then how can I deny such a request?"
"You can't, Boy Wonder. You're under the sorceress' spell, remember?"
"Ah, yes. She's a wicked little thing too. Lithe. Teasing."
"Tired." She reminded him, but allowed her lover to wrap his arms around her waist.
"Ah, but there's always time for love."
"You're going running with Terra tomorrow. You need your strength." Raven chided.
"So you're saying that you'll completely wear me out."
Raven turned her head to look at him like a predator. "Richard, I always wear you out."
"There's a first time for everything."
"Not tonight." She said, dashing his hopes.
"You ask me to marry you and then hold out on me?"
"Life's a big mystery, isn't it?"
"You are aware that there's a fine line between wicked and cruel, right?"
"I am aware of the difference, yes."
"It's been a few weeks, you know."
"Is that a problem?" She asked.
"It's not a problem. I just enjoy being with you. In every sense of the word."
"I make it worth your while, don't I?" She explained. "Maybe tomorrow night."
"What if I'm not in the mood tomorrow night?" Robin asked playfully.
"Then I'll take you by force." She said flippantly.
Robin cocked an eyebrow. "You've been reading my diary."
"Goodnight. Robin." The goth girl rolled her eyes, settling into the covers again. Just as she had gotten comfortable and begun to doze, she felt a pair of arms slide beneath hers and begin a gentle rubbing motion just beneath her shoulders. "Goodnight, Robin." She stated with a bit more force, a tiny smile creeping across her lips as her partner finally relented.
XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo
Raven awoke in the middle of Saturday morning in much the way she preferred. The other side of the bed was empty, meaning Robin had busied himself somewhere. Briefly, she wondered if he was holding a grudge from the night before, but she doubted it. It hadn't been the first time she'd turned him down, and it wouldn't be the last either. Making Robin dangle and squirm was a perverse pleasure she took in sinfully. She wasn't cruel, of course, but he did so enjoy making her uncomfortable. Sometimes, a little turnabout was only fair play.
The covers were still warm and inviting against much of her bare skin, and she nearly surrendered to their siren song for another half an hour. However, just as she had begun to settle back into the pillow, the sound of laughter made her ears perk up slightly. She would know that laugh anywhere. It exuded confidence, Robin laughed in a natural manner, which was curious for a man who was known to be so serious. That was part of the dichotomy, of course, and one of the things she found strangely alluring about him. Letting her curiosity get the better of her, Raven opened the bedroom door, looking out into the small living area where, indeed, Robin was seated leisurely on the love seat, watching cartoons with their daughter.
"Raven, care to join us?" Her partner asked without even looking away from the television screen. Rain was also staring at it intently, showing childlike wonder at the simple moving shapes and colors on the screen. "You never know, the coyote might actually catch him this time."
"The road runner doesn't get caught." Raven said plainly. "Besides, isn't this just a tad violent for our daughter?"
"Oh come on, I was practicially raised on this stuff. Well, when I was little, anyway. My father…he used to love the old Road Runner and Coyote shorts. We would sit and watch them together on Saturday mornings before having to get ready for the circus matinees. It wasn't a big deal, it was just one of our things. I thought I'd carry on the tradition."
Raven almost took a half step backwards. Yes, she knew well of Robin's past, both through a brief, low level bonding they had once shared, but also from long conversations that permeated both their friendship and their romance—they had slowly opened to one another, and while neither of them spoke of their pasts casually, it was the understanding of each other's backgrounds that mattered. The tapestry of tragedy they each shared, peppered in small but bright spots of happiness. They had each known so much pain and loss, but still refused to give into it, choosing to live and be themselves. "Well then, as long as you aren't corrupting her, I suppose it's not a problem." She nodded, moving towards the love seat and leaning over the back of it.
"Hey, I watched plenty of this stuff and I never had violent tendencies." Robin informed her.
Raven cocked an eyebrow. "Robin, up until two years ago, our full time job was to beat the stuffing out of people."
Robin shrugged innocently. "Hey, they were all bad!"
"Perhaps." Raven relented, turning towards her daughter. She placed a hand on the little girl's head, gently palming her dark black hair. "Good morning."
Rain looked up, still smiling, and awkwardly reached up to tug on her mother's slip. "BZZRP!" She announced to her mother, which Raven assumed from her expression meant the child was happy to see her.
"Indeed. And have we eaten yet?"
"I was going to make something after the cartoons were over." Robin explained.
"No, it's alright, I think I'll do it this morning." Raven decided
"You sure? We could always go downstairs. I'm sure Cyborg's making something."
"Let's eat as a family today. Just the three of us. Before Starfire abducts Rain and Terra makes off with you." Raven added.
Robin responded by taking her hand and stroking the fingers. "I would really like that."
"What? The part where I cook, or the part where Terra absconds with you?" Raven asked.
"I have to pick one?" Robin asked. It was at that moment that Rain began laughing, probably at the cartoon, but Robin took whatever he could get considering that he now lived with two girls.
"Someone's angling to cancel their Saturday night." Raven told him, making her way into the kitchen.
"You don't really mean that…" Robin called after her, tickling his daughter to hear her laugh again. "Raven?" He called her name again, but she wasn't responding. Sighing, he helped Rain sit upright. "Rain, I've got to go check on mommy. You tell daddy if that coyote catches the roadrunner, okay?"
"SAKRN" She told him, looking back at the television.
"Good girl." He smiled, planting a kiss on her forehead before sauntering into the kitchen.
Raven was at the stove, bent over and searching through an adjacent cupboard. Robin approached as stealthily as possible and slipped his arms around her waist. "Good morning."
"Yes, we covered the pleasantries." Raven had only stiffened very slightly at his touch. She could sense his presence coming and was not surprised by his overtly forward nature since no one else was around.
"Are you going to pay attention to me, or am I just going to wind up having a conversation with your bottom?" He asked.
"One of my features you once expressed a profound amount of admiration for in our Gotham days, I recall." She stated, finally emerging with the small box of pastina she had been looking for.
"Only once?" He questioned.
"I didn't keep track. And I also need some milk and margarine."
"In a moment." Robin told her. "I just wanted to share a loving, tender moment with my fiancée…" He told her, placing his hands on her shoulders and gently trailing the length of her arms.
"I haven't meditated yet today…" She warned him.
"So we'll keep it PG-13." He smirked. "Besides, Rain's out there. And that water is going to boil within about 6 minutes, I'd say."
"Not right now, Richard. Tonight. If you're good. And I feel like it."
"What happened to that whole taking me by force thing?"
"I didn't rule out that personality. Don't I make it patently obvious when I very much feel like it?"
"You're a tigress."
"And I bite too. May I have the milk and butter now?"
"This isn't over." Robin sighed, relenting and moving to the fridge to fetch Raven's needed ingredients.
She took the butter in one hand and used a portion of her soul self to snatch the milk maneuvering it over to the far side of the counter where there was a measuring cup somewhere. "Who says you can't domesticate a man." She chided.
"I'm going back to my cartoons."
"Mmm-hmm."
Raven counted three beats before calling his name. "Robin?"
"What?" He asked, turning around inside of the kitchen doorway.
"I'll meditate for an extra half an hour today." She told him, measuring half a cup of milk for the pastina. Robin, quick to pickup on her meaning, decided not to lift a gifthorse in the mouth and return to the attentions of our daughter. Raven shook her head as she added the milk into the pot with the rapidly heating water. "The sacrifices I make for just a little peace." The trained observer might have noticed the small smirk on her face as she continued making breakfast.
XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo
Somewhere in another area of the tower, Terra opened her eyes. Sunlight was streaming in through the window, announcing the mid-morning had arrived in all its glory. Terra's immediate instinct was to moan and turn over. Much like Beast Boy, she has long since learned the joy of sleep. Getting up before noon on a Saturday felt like such a sacrifice.
Her right hand felt heavy and warm, and then she seemed to wake up enough to remember. She let Beast Boy bunk with her on Friday nights. They hadn't progressed to a deeply intimate physical relationship yet, but she had decided four months ago that she wanted to try more, for his sake and her own. He still slept like the dead, even with the sunlight radiating off the walls of her room. She squeezed his hand gently, not wanting to wake him. He was a fine young man, he loved her in spite of everything she had done in her life. And once upon a time, she was sure she had the same feelings welling up within her. But not since her Rebirth, as they referred to it. Nothing seemed to work the way it was supposed to. Robin was always there now, in her head. Or a part of him, anyway. It wasn't like she had a live telepathic connection. More like there was some kind of miniature version of the hero, crawling around in the nooks and crannies, talking to her, comforting her…a veritable voice in her head that she tried very, very hard not to have unwanted feelings for. She did try. But how could she not love the person who saved her, who kept reaching out for her, even when she was a mess. Yes, Beast Boy was there. Even more than Robin. He was kind and earnest and faithful and so incredibly devoted to her, it made her want to cry.
"Somewhere I lost the ability to love you back." She whispered. "But I'm trying, BB. I'm trying so hard."
The biggest irony to her is that, for some reason, she was not miserable. She was in love with a man she could not have. She was trying to take comfort in the arms of the one she had always intended to be with. It was a lousy situation, to put it simply. It was lousy…but she wasn't out of hope. Somehow, she knew she could still find happiness without bringing pain to others. Terra remained convinced of that. If she were not, she would have stopped waking up each morning long ago.
Cautiously, she rolled over to face the slumbering changeling, clinging to him tighter. It wasn't his fault. He did feel good, so good. It wasn't enough yet. But maybe, one day, it could be. She wanted it to be. If she could only quiet her heart and make it see reason, if she could only push Robin out of her head. He seemed to do it so much better. If there was a version of herself running rampant through his mind, he seemed to have far better control of it. "Robin doesn't have any problems with Raven, it's obvious from the way he looks at her." She sighed. "Maybe Raven did something to help him…but…would I want to tell her I need help with this?" Imagining that conversation in her head never seemed to end well. Truthfully, Raven scared her a little. Of course, in her dark days, they had once had a knock down, drag out fight. They had enjoyed wailing on each other. It was a memory she hated. There were so many memories she hated. Her best moments were with Beast Boy. Always and forever. But every time she thought she could be with him, Robin came into her head. Beautiful, fearless Robin, with his constant reassurances. He made her love him—and he hadn't even tried.
"I just want to be happy." She whispered. "I want you to be happy."
"I'm happy when I wake up next to you." The creature beside her stirred, and she clutched at him tighter, spooning his smaller frame to hers.
"I'm sorry, BB." She whimpered, squeezing him.
"Sorry for what?" He asked.
"Nothing. Everything. I…"
"Terra?"
"What?" She asked, blinking tears out of her eyes.
"You know I'll always wait, right?"
"Why are you so good to me?"
"Because of who you are. Terra, I know life hasn't been very kind to you, but I'm not going to hold all your mistakes against you forever. I mean, we're human, right? We're supposed to mess up sometimes."
"But I-"
"It's what you do with those lessons that matters, Terra. And you're doing something wonderful, everyday, by just living. You'll always be able to keep moving forwards as long as you want to." He smiled.
Terra said nothing, instead burying her face into his chest before quietly whispering her thanks before composing herself. She looked up into his sleepy eyes earnestly. "Hey, BB. There's something I need to tell you."
"What's up?"
"You won't give up on me, right?"
The changeling seemed to think it over for a second. "Eh, I guess not…" He teased.
"You'd better not." The blonde warned him, gripping one of his fingers and squeezing it. "I won't give up on us. I know I haven't made it easy. I'm so screwed up."
"No, you're not. Don't say that. You're just the way you should be, because you're you. And if you're not ready, then-"
Terra shook her head. "You know, don't you?"
"Know what?"
"About Robin. This…thing I have with him."
"Sort of." BB yawned, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. "Yeah, I guess. But, you guys aren't together or anything."
"No! No of course not." She held him tighter. "It…wouldn't be a good idea for us. But I still can't help…what I feel. And that's why it's so hard, Beast Boy. Because he isn't who I want to feel like this for."
Beast Boy let out a puff of air. It had been some time since he and Terra had talked seriously about 'the dilemma,' as they often liked to refer to it as. "Terra, it's okay."
"No, it isn't."
He brushed her cheek gently. "He saved your life, and he went into your head to do it. You know it more than anyone except maybe Raven. If he hadn't done what he did, you wouldn't be here now."
"You could've helped me."
"No, I couldn't have. Not like that. I can stand by you for the rest of my life, Terra. But I couldn't have faced your demons inside your head with you. We might've both been lost. Besides, in the state you were in back then, he was the better candidate." Beast Boy smiled. "It's okay. I'm not jealous. Even if I should be." He chuckled softly.
"Why not?" She asked, beginning to cry.
"Because you're here with me, not in a closet with Robin. And because Robin is way too upstanding a guy to be a threat. And even if he weren't, the absolute fear of what Raven would do to him if she found him cheating? Oh man, it's giving even me the willies!" He laughed, and the imagery that he conjured up caused Terra to begin to laugh with him, wiping tears from her eyes.
"Ok, I guess I can see that." She sniffed, feeling happier.
"It'll be alright, Terra. We'll just go slow. You tell me when you're ready."
"I won't make you wait forever." She insisted. "I'm…going to try something new, okay?" She stated, leaning her head up and leaving a soft kiss on his lips. "We'll get there, I promise."
"Just take your time, okay?" Beast Boy implored. "You'll be ready when you're ready."
"No, I mean, I'm going to…see if I can quiet the Robin in my head down to a dull roar. If I can quiet him…"
"Do you need him?" Beast Boy asked, suddenly feeling more awake.
Terra gulped. "I don't know. But I can't spend my entire life depending on someone else, even an echo of that person. I'm okay with who I am, BB."
"You're going to ask Raven?"
"Yeah…"
"Do you want me to go with you when you do?"
"No. This is something that I need to do alone. It's…between two girls, you know? If I tell her anything but the truth, she'll sniff it out really quickly. But if she does agree to help me, then I want you to be there when we try."
"Okay." He nodded, enveloping the girl in his arms.
"Do you mind if we just stay her like this for another half an hour?" She asked,, squeezing him back.
"Only half an hour?"
"I'm hungry." She teased, burrowing her head into his chest, using it like a pillow.
The changeling shut his eyes as, and was grateful for the little slice of paradise granted to him as he fell into a light sleep with Terra's warmth atop him.
XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo
Raven folded her hands over a hot, steaming bowl of pastina, offering up a silent prayer. It had become something of a tradition that even she didn't entirely understand. By her nature, Raven wasn't particularly religious. Her nature did give her a bit of spirituality, but she wasn't one to follow any particular religious creed. Mainly, she just offered up her thanks to God, Fate, Time, or whatever forces, supernatural or otherwise, that had had an impact on her life and helped lead her to where she was now. It wasn't much, but it satisfied her.
Opening her eyes, Raven saw her partner placing a rather happy Rain into her high chair. Something about the imagery made her smile. Back in the days of her pregnancy, she had wondered whether Robin was up to being a parent, to saying nothing of herself. Not that she was worried he would run out on them, more that he wouldn't have the patience—she also worried about herself quite a bit in that regard. Perhaps the old adage was indeed true, though. It's different when it's your child. She had more patience with Rain unless her natural defenses were depleted. It helped that the girl hadn't been fussy. Oh, she had been known to give everyone in the Tower hell about food from time to time, but Rain had never been one to cry for seemingly no reason, and she slept rather well too. Most of the time, anyway.
Raven pushed a bowl of pastina in front of Robin, then handed a smaller, plastic one to him for Rain. Robin inhaled the flavorful steam and smacked his lips appreciatively. Now this was a proper Saturday breakfast. With finesse, robin dunked a spoon into Rain's bowl and gingerly brought it up to her lips. The girl seemed to fuss for a moment, but relented as soon as some of the pastina got into her mouth. "MZDNK!" She seemed to cheer, opening her mouth.
"Okay, okay." Robin laughed. "Let papa have a taste too." He grinned, spooning some from his own bowl into his mouth. "Wow, Rae, you really outdid yourself."
"It's not exactly rocket science." She told him. "You could make it just fine if you had to."
"It doesn't matter whether it was easy or not." He told her. "It's the effort that counts."
"Do I look like someone who cooks with love?" Raven asked.
"Honestly? Yes. You do."
"Now you're just giving me far too much domestic credit."
"Because you're domestic? Raven, you stay home with Rain five days a week while I go to work." Robin reminded her, continuing to feed their impatient daughter.
"And she often gets abducted by our roommates." Raven pointed out. "I'm sure if I knew everything she's been subjected to…"
"Now, now. They're good with kids. Terra has really taken to the whole godmother thing. And Rain really likes her."
"Rain likes anyone who is nice to her. She's two."
"And a half. Isn't that right, my little lady?" The tiny girl might have said something, but she was too busy ingesting her breakfast for much sound to come out. "The point is, Raven, that you're better at this than you think. And we appreciate it."
The goth was taken aback a bit by that projection. "Robin?"
"Hmm?"
"I…"
"Am a much better mother than you give yourself credit for." Robin finished for her.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
"I'm enjoying a simple Saturday morning with my family, actually. " Robin told her. "And you're a big part of that, Raven. Home isn't a place, it's people. The kind you find that you want to be around. Even if you sometimes get annoyed or upset with them, or just find you want to be alone…you find it hard to stay in that state, because you miss them. Hell, I miss you and Rain every day at work." He sighed, gently lifting Rain out of her high chair and hoisting her over his shoulder so he could burp her properly.
"Thank you." Raven blushed slightly, looking down to pay more attention to her meal. "Maybe I'll take Rain out for awhile today. She does love to be outside. I wish I knew where she got that from."
"Hey, you can't blame all of her genetics on me!" Robin protested. She only got twenty-three of my chromosomes. Randomized at that."
"Oh, sure, blame it on me." Raven chided. "Why am I marrying you again?"
"Because I said yes!"
"Ah yes. I knew there was a rub somewhere." She smirked. "You are doing the laundry today, right?"
"Sure, why not? I'll put a load in when I venture downstairs. Do we have something other than pajamas to put Rain in?"
"Oh, I'm sure I can scrounge something up. I'm more worried about my own outfit. Use the soap in the purple bottle-"
"And dry on the delicate setting, two dryer sheets. I remember. Detective memory."
"And here I was thinking you were just that well trained."
Robin actually chuckled. "Raven, I really ought to see a psychiatrist about this penchant I have for seeking out relationships that constantly challenge me."
"You could, but you know you enjoy it too much." Raven placed her spoon down, looking at him directly. "We thrive on this. It's good for us. And you know there's nothing mean-spirited about it."
"Perish the thought." Robin smirked. "So what else will you do today aside from meditating."
"I'll manage just fine. You know how I hate to be alone." She smirked. "We're going to that auction tonight, with Cyborg?"
"As long as you're up to going."
"As long as Terra is up to watching Rain."
Robin chuckled. "Gee, a whole night of Terra playing house with Beast Boy and using Rain as their surrogate child, I'm sure she'll say no."
"I warned you what would happen if we made Terra the godmother."
Robin shrugged. "You say that like it's a bad thing."
"I'm less worried about her influence than his."
"Beast Boy? He's housetrained…"
Raven rolled her eyes, pushing her empty bowl away from her. I'm going to take a shower."
"Sounds like fun." Robin smirked. "Can I wash your back?"
"No." Raven said flatly, maneuvering to the kitchen and placing her bowl in the sink. "You and Rain still need to find out if the Coyote catches the Roadrunner." She crossed back to the living room, stopping behind the booster seat Rain currently occupied. Tentatively, Raven reached out and ruffled her daughter's jet black hair. It was the same consistency of her own, though noticeably shorter, and it definitely looked like she got the color from her father's end of the gene pool. The little girl's skin was somewhat wan—not as pale as her own, but not as humanly pronounced as Robin's either. It was almost a dichotomy—while Rain only had a quarter of her DNA from demon heritage, there were definite pronunciations of it in her appearance….a human softness molded around it. And yet, Rain was far from emotionally stunted, an openly happy child who generally only fussed over meals…more directly over who fed her rather than what she was eating. "Can you was the dishes?"
"I'll put it on my to do list along with the laundry." Robin smiled, taking a napkin and cleaning Rain's face. "Come on, lets you and me go see if the Coyote can manage not to fall off a cliff again." He hoisted the girl out of her booster seat and up onto his shoulders, carrying her back to the sofa.
Raven found herself watching, a warm feeling she still found herself unready for settling in her stomach. She journeyed to the bathroom in their apartment in a sort of haze, shutting the door behind her. Sometimes, life could be so different. She was in the third stage, now. Started over again. The first time, she had lost her home and everything she knew. And the second time had threatened to be far worse. But she was still alive. The last remaining link to a long forgotten place. She wondered, somewhere, if her life had a new prophecy of sorts. One no longer dark and tragic, but perhaps filled with the unknown. Indeed, maybe she was the one who was writing it. What was that saying that Robin was so fond of? She looked into the mirror, the words coming back to her.
"Due to circumstances beyond your control, you are master of your fate and captain of your soul."
She could remember a time now, rather clearly, when it had been truer than ever.
XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo
Three Years Ago…She stood before him like a siren, pleading, desperate, full of promise, full of hope. Robin felt his throat tighten. "Terra…"
"I never really got out, did I? I wasn't as clever as you. Wasn't as strong." She whispered.
"That isn't true."
"You were always planning, always angling, always searching for a way to break free of Slade when he had you. Not like me."
"Stop this, you shouldn't say that. You did it your own way."
"You don't understand my hatred." Terra whispered.
"Hatred?"
"What I told you, when we fought. What I told all of you. Don't you understand? I was trying to kill you because I was too weak to kill myself. I was too weak to take it into my own hands."
"Terra…"
"I tried to. So many times. Long before we met. Once or twice even while I was with you, betraying you. But I couldn't do it. So I pretended the best I could. Attacking all of you was so much easier when I imagined doing it to myself. I can never be punished enough for what I've done."
"But you can be forgiven. It's in the past. We don't hold what you did against you."
"This has nothing to do with the Teen Titans! Don't you know my pain? I killed them…I killed my own family. My parents…they died because I lost control of my power. People I tried to help…they were hurt, they were crippled, they were killed. I tried to help. But all I've done is hurt. Not like you. So now, finally, you can end the suffering."
"We did, Terra. You'll never be alone again. All of us are here. We're going to help you, one day at a time. We'll help you live. We'll help you love. And we'll help you learn how to control your power. Trust us."
"You're going to help me? You're going to hold me? You're going to love me? Heal all my pain?"
"Yes…"
"Then do it. Now."
It was so simple a request, and the hero's arms captured her exactly as she'd wanted, holding her, enveloping her, lending her the strength she needed. Her small hands sought his, feeling the shapes of his fingers, the strength behind them. She brought them up to her shoulders, encouraging him to feel her, know her, measure her fragility. He held on tightly, eyes behind his mask becoming moist. She was full of so much suffering, and he would make all of it his own just to free her.
She inclined her head rhythmically, drawing his hands to her beautiful neck She held his hands there with her own, looking up at him expectantly. "Now." She whispered, finally possessing the courage she had never once had in her life. "Do it now."
"Terra…"
"Squeeze…" She whispered. "I want you to…"
He couldn't think clearly. Her need was too much, her intent so clear. It overpowered his own, and he did as she asked, grasping her delicate skin with both hands, squeezing tightly, just as she had begged him to. He could feel her life in his hands, weak and tired. It was so easy, and despite any pain she might have felt from her windpipe being crushed, any bruising she might have helped, the blonde was smiling at him, like he was her savior, like he was finally succeeding where she could not. Her eyes, shone with tears. Finally, her pain was ending. It would be over…
Gasping, Robin's vision swam, and realizing what was happening, he released the wretched girl before him, holding her too him. "No! No Terra, I won't do this to you. I just got you back, we've just made you whole. I won't do this."
Terra coughed, spasming in his arms. "Please, just once more…"
"I can't…"
"For me." She pleaded, breathing shallowly, pushing his hands back to her throat. "Just one more time. Do it until the end. If it's with you, I can last until the end."
"Terra!"
"Robin I'm begging you!" She cried. "Do it now!"
He screamed with a primal frustration, squeezing her beautiful skin, ruining her, destroying her, just as she wanted. He could feel the warmth in her throat from her trapped breath, from the blood vessels he was crushing. The blonde's eyes bulged from the trauma, and she finally felt her peace approaching. Her vision swam, but the look on her face remained clear. To the end. She had suffered so greatly, now her dear profile could at last find peace. "Terra…" He croaked, feeling the life draining from her. He was almost finished. He had nearly set her free…
The force that yanked him backwards was so strong and unexpected that he fell over, Terra dropping to the ground without his weight to support her. Against her will, her body betrayed her, breathing, seeking to pump life-giving oxygen through her tortured flesh and sinew. Robin could see the marks on her throat and neck, the bruises in the shape of his own handprints, like a broken butterfly against her pale, fragile skin. "Terra!" He cried out, her form fading from him, consciousness fading from him…
Robin awoke in his own bed, shouting in surprise at the very unexpected sight of Raven straddling him, her hands on his temples. "Easy…easy…you have to breathe, Robin." She said casually, acting as though nothing was happening. If she was at all embarrassed about their current position or what it might look like to someone else, she didn't betray it.
"What the hell's going on?" Robin asked roughly. "Terra…"
"She's all right, this time." Raven explained. "Beast Boy cried out for help over the communicator. Terra was flat lining."
"What?" Robin whispered, unable to believe it.
"She reached out to you, Robin. Through the bond. She was trying to make you kill her."
"Why?" Robin asked, feeling as though he were about to cry.
Raven said nothing for a moment, then answered with what she felt was the obvious truth, however morbid. "Presumably because she wanted to die."
"It was a dream…it was just a dream…" Robin pleaded.
"No. Raven told him. It wasn't."
"She tried to make me."
"She needs considerable help, Robin. And she is now linked to your mind. Are you up to this? Are you going to protect her from herself?"
"I have to. I could never let Beast Boy go through this. Let her unburden herself to me. Let her hate me for it if she has to. I won't risk her ultimate happiness."
"I don't think it's safe to leave you alone anymore, Robin. From now on, one of us will be watching each of you at all times until this stops."
XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo
For the next two days, that's exactly how it had been. Beast Boy keeping a constant vigil over Terra, while Robin was monitored either by camera or in person. Finally, Beast Boy had succumbed to exhaustion, and the rest of the team was watching Terra in two-hour shifts.
Raven currently stood beside the bed, looking down at its lone occupant. She was so small and vulnerable, cradling herself like a wounded animal. The pure emotional turmoil that bounced off of her assaulted her mental shielding with ferocity, but for the time being, Raven was holding true. She would withdraw when it became too much.
"Terra, you should eat." Raven said, colder than she had wanted it to come out. Vocal inflection was something she found she sometimes had trouble with—no matter what her personal feelings on a matter were, she always had to struggle not to let the emotions manifest themselves. Given even a little leeway, it could take only the slightest thing to set her off and wreak undesirable havoc on the environment. Frustration and annoyance was something she had mastered conveying without incident, but for the most part, her everyday speech boiled down to varying levels of disinterest. Being detached just made things easier.
The blonde girl continued to stare blankly ahead of her. She was there, she heard things, and she reacted when she wanted to. Case in point, Terra responded to Raven's words by pushing her head between her knees. Sighing, Raven hesitantly reached out and placed her left hand softly on the girl's head. As expected, she was immediately assaulted by the inner turmoil within the troubled teen, but Raven allowed it to dissipate around her shielding—Terra had pain, incredible pain for a human. But her own anguish echoed it. Raven couldn't allow herself to absorb Terra's pain, not out of coldness, but for fear that it would feed the darkness within her. She had bested the worst of it with help from her friends. She wouldn't betray them by openly doing anything that might force the to face the horrors of her heritage again.
Carefully, noting Terra's flinch, Raven let her fingers travel gently across the blonde girl's hair in little strokes. "Terra, please eat something. If not for yourself, than for Beast Boy."
"Where is he?" She whispered, trembling.
"Asleep. He's been awake for 65 hours straight watching you. We had to force him to go to bed—Robin reminded him that he wouldn't be of much use to you if he couldn't even see or think straight. He'll be back. This is just my shift."
"Why do you even care?"
Raven paused, taken slightly aback, but the emotions she could sense from the girl betrayed the truth. "You think I hate you."
"Why shouldn't you?"
"You think I'm holding a grudge." Raven nodded. "I suppose that makes sense."
"I know you hate me."
Raven stopped her ministrations, frowning. "No, I don't. It would be easier on me if I did."
"Then don't put yourself to any trouble on my account. I should have just died."
Raven felt a grim determination course through her at those words. "Do you know how much it would hurt Beast Boy to hear you say that."
"It doesn't mean it isn't the truth. I'll only hurt him again. It's all I know how to do. Why couldn't you have just let me be?"
"Because we still care about you. You're a Titan, Terra. You may not have lived as the Titan you should've been back then. But you died as one. Don't waste your second chance on punishing yourself for the first one."
Terra rubbed her face into her knees, looking up only enough to speak more coherently, refusing to meet Raven's gaze. "If all I had to make up for was betraying you all, this would be easy. It's so much more than that. Ever since I was little. Ever since the accident. I've hurt and killed so many people. And the worst part was that I was trying to help. You don't see them like I do. Etched in, over and over in my mind…maybe that's what I have these powers for. I don't want to see them anymore. I just want to die."
"You tried to make Robin kill you, Terra."
"I wanted him to. I couldn't ask Beast Boy. Robin knows my pain better than anyone."
"Terra, you do have things to live for."
"Please kill me, Raven. I just want to be with my parents again. I can't do this on my own."
"No. If you want my help, I'm going to help you live. I'm not going to let you give up. There is a way, Terra. You just need to learn to control your power. On your own, not without someone else doing it for you. I can help with that."
"No one can help me."
"Listen. I can teach you how to meditate—how to find the power within yourself. If you can't perceive it, understand it, then you can't control it. Let me help you with that."
"I want Robin…" Terra curled harder into a ball, rocking herself.
"Robin needs to rest. He's exhausted. There's a part of you in him now. It will take his mind time to adjust."
"He's the one keeping me from ending myself." Terra whispered. "I'm so useless."
Raven's patience began to wane, and she switched tactics. "You listen to me." She grabbed the smaller girl by the shoulders, forcing her to sit upright. "You are going to live a full and wonderful life. Robin risked everything for you. Beast Boy would do anything for you. And you are hurting them by being like this instead of trying. It won't be easy, and it won't come quickly, and it will be full of hard, painful work. But you are going to make it, Terra. You are going to rise. And we're going to help you every step of the way. You're only alone because you think you're alone. You're not. So stop shutting us out. Especially Beast Boy."
"He shouldn't have to watch over me."
"But he will." Raven said flatly. "Believe it or not, Terra…I understand what you're going through."
"What could you possibly know of my pain?"
"You think you're a monster, don't you? You think your life is only about hurting others. That's how you once justified working for Slade, right? It wasn't about getting control of your power—that was just the bait you couldn't refuse. It was about how much you've hurt others in the past, despite the fact that you weren't trying to. He dragged you down to his level, made you think that you were meant to be a villain because of your past. It's what he does. Slade preys on the weakness of others and uses it to his advantage, makes you forget who you are. He gives you a truth wrapped in a lie, and soon you can't tell the difference anymore. You're not a monster, you were made into one. In the end, you chose not to be that way. And that's why you're here now. Are you going to go backwards?"
"That's so easy for you to say. Over and over, I've watched so many people suffer and die because of me. Everyone I've ever cared about, everyone I've tried to help. I never should have survived. This world is better without me, and you will be too. Please don't make me live."
Raven stopped, new vortex of emotions emanating from the small, tortured girl beginning to push past her own defenses. She was running out of time. "What about Robin, then? He risked everything for you. He blames himself, you know. For losing you to Slade. For your sacrifice to finish him. For so many things. He always blamed himself."
"Can I see him?" She asked, shaking a little.
Raven looked at her hesitantly. "You tried to make him kill you, Terra."
"He should be the one. But…I won't do anything. If Robin can prove to me he wants me to live, then I'll do whatever you want."
"This isn't a prison." Raven protested. "We want you to live because we're your friends. If you don't want to believe Beast Boy, or myself then I'll let the others work on it. Starfire is more the cheery type.
"No. I want to see Robin."
"…"
"Please, Raven. I need to see him. You know why better than anyone."
Raven nodded. "His mind will still be adjusting. Be careful." She stated, withdrawing from the medical room. Almost instantly, Raven breathed a sigh of relief as the constant assault against her mental shielding died down. The emotions within Terra were still very strong, but at least no longer the swirling vortex of entropy that they had been when Robin had journeyed inside her mind and freed her. There was still so much anger and hurt inside of her, not to mention the fear. Something had to be done.
Robin looked up from his seat at the Goth girl.. "I know." He spoke before Raven could even begin explaining her exchange with the blonde. "She wants me."
"You can feel her that strongly?"
"Right now, it's like I can feel everything she feels. I hear her voice in my head, crying out."
"I tried to warn you." Raven sat down across from him.
"I know. I'm stubborn."
"As a mule. So is she. But as much as I hate to admit it, you may be the only one that can help her."
"I would still prefer to attempt." Starfire spoke up, appearing from behind a doorway.
"Star?" Robin perked up at her entrance.
"Friend Terra is in need of our assistance. You have done enough, Robin."
"No, Starfire, I haven't. I still have more to do." He stood up, taking the alien girl's hand and rubbing it gently with his own. "I'll be okay. I don't have to go into her head anymore. Now it's about helping that wretched girl find her reason to live again. No one should go through what she has." He turned to look at Raven meaningfully, given the sorceress own battle with her dark nature. "But too many do."
"Robin, I do not wish for you to face this again. You should not be put in this position. The last time, Friend Terra nearly made you-"
"I know. But it won't happen this time. Besides, you and Raven will protect me, right? And her."
"I will not allow any harm to come to either of you." Starfire insisted.
Raven massaged her temples. "She can't reach out to you like she did before, you both would need to be unconscious for that. And she can't use her powers from here. Starfire's right, you should be fine. Physically, anyway. But she'll probably exhaust you mentally and emotionally."
"I'll handle it." Robin breathed, preparing himself. He squeezed Starfire's hand a second time, reassuring her. "Don't worry, Starfire. I won't lose myself."
"Robin…Terra is…in need of you." She spoke hesitantly, as though she were either uncertain of the words, or whether she should even say them.
"I started this. I have to see it through to the end. We've come too far, I'm not letting go of her."
Raven interrupted. "She's determined to die."
"Then I'm going to rip her off of that experience." Robin stated with grim determination, letting go of Starfire. He walked beyond the women gracefully, entering into the isolation chamber that Terra was being kept in. His footsteps fell quietly, but Terra knew he was coming. The Terra in his head sensed the change, and waited patiently, struggling not to shake.
Terra looked up as he entered, afraid to meet his gaze, frightened to ever look away. "Robin?"
"It's okay, I'm here."
She jumped up from her bed, springing forward from the mattress, and Robin had to extend his arms to catch her or they both would have tumbled to the floor. She wrapped her legs around his waist, clutching herself to him tightly. "I'm sorry." She bawled, hooking her neck into his shoulder, crying. "Please, God, I'm so, so sorry."
"Shhh. Hush now." He said, stroking her hair gently, still taken aback by her reaction. "It's alright."
"Don't leave me again, Robin. I can't do this on my own."
"You're not alone." Robin whispered. "We're all here, and we're not giving up on you. Beast Boy has been here for days. And as soon as he wakes up, he'll be back. Come on now, I know you want to smile for him."
"It hurts." She clinched her body tightly. "All these memories, they're in my head, they keep playing over and over…I just want them to stop!"
"You have to get control. It's your mind, no one else's."
"You're in there too." She sniffed.
"Then use me to help organize. You're not weak, Terra. And you're not broken. You've come so far. Don't give up now. You didn't survive for so long to take the easy way out."
"I don't know how. Please, Robin. Just let me go. I don't want Beast Boy to see me like this…please, let me go."
"No." Robin insisted. "We're going to help you, Terra. You have so much left to live for."
"Remind me." She breathed.
"Terra, it's alright."
"No, it isn't. Either let me go…or promise you never will."
"Terra…"
"Promise me!"
"I can't be that, Terra."
"You have to promise. Promise me that no matter what, no matter whom else, you won't ever leave me. If you want me to live, if you want me to go through this, then you have to promise you'll always be here for me. You have to promise! I can't do this without you!"
Robin stood still with the smaller girl wrapped around his body, letting her trembling form slowly relax as he continued to support her weight. "What do you need me to do?" He asked.
"Promise me that we'll always have each other. No matter what else happens, no matter who we might be with…there will always be us. Don't let go of me."
"Terra…"
"Promise."
"What you're asking isn't the kind of promise that I'm sure I can keep. I'm not going to lie to you."
"Then mean it. Promise me, Robin. Please don't make me beg."
"Don't make me promise this, Terra. Ask Beast Boy. He's the one who should. You love him."
"I still love him." She whispered, tears streaming from her eyes again. "But he's not the one who rescued me. He found me, but he's not the one who saved me. He's not the one in my head, the one who makes the hurting stop. I can't do this without you, I can't face these demons. Please, Robin, don't give up on me now."
Robin gripped her tighter, feeling his resistance give way. He knew this was dangerous, that he was making commitments that would have far reaching consequences.
But he would see himself damned before he would fail this girl again. "Alright. I promise. If you'll live, if you'll let us help you, then I'll never let go."
"Never let go." She whispered into his ear.
"Never."
"Promise me."
"I promise."
She pulled herself upward, breathing into his ear slowly, gently, brushing her lips against the lobe. "Save me." She whispered. "I can't take these memories anymore."
"They're a part of you." Robin told her. "But not the only part. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for, Terra."
"I've hurt so many people."
"Well we're going to help make sure that doesn't happen anymore. Won't you make some better memories with us?"
"Yes." Terra nodded, still crying, but no longer wracked with sobs . She squirmed slightly in his arms. "I think…I think I'm hungry."
Cautiously, Robin untangled the girl from his frame, setting her down on wobbly legs. "Hold on." He told her, turning around and reaching behind him. "I'll piggyback you."
Awkwardly, Robin helped hike the smaller girl up onto his back. Her physical strength had greatly diminished, but with some effort, he was able to pull her up by the knees, using the balance techniques he had learned as a child to keep her from toppling them both backwards. At length, Terra flatted herself against his back, gripping his shoulders like handholds and wrapping her legs around his torso. She was shaking again, but seemingly more from her precarious position than from emotional turmoil.
Robin took a few slow steps, getting a feel for her weight before moving properly, ducking down to keep Terra from banging her head on the doorframe. "You know, next time, Beast Boy can do this properly. Maybe turn into a horse or something." The masked boy grunted as he made his way back out into the observation room.
"Or a donkey." Raven added. "I'm sure it will go better if he plays to his strengths." She cocked an eyebrow at the blonde girl. "Comfortable."
"I could get used to it." Terra nodded with a small smile, and if it caused her to hug his shoulders any tighter, Robin didn't say anything.
"We're off to the kitchen ladies. Coming?"
"What?" Raven asked. "We don't have to stand in line for the ride?"
Starfire immediately rose, taking a place next to her boyfriend. "It would make me most delighted to accompany you both." She expressed, taking Robin's right hand in her own as she walked, leaving Raven to roll her eyes and follow behind them.
XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo
Down in the kitchen, Cyborg had temporarily traded in his auto-mechanic tools for the culinary ones. He was beating eggs in a bowl when Terra and her entourage entered the area, which caused him to look over in puzzlement.
"Either we're entertaining royalty, or-"
"-Terra finally decided to join us." Robin smirked, crossing to the dining room table. He pulled out one of the chairs and carefully bent over so that Terra could slide off of his back into it. "Maybe she just needed the right motivation."
Terra looked a bit solemn as she situated herself in the large wooden chair, and certainly self-conscious. "I know that each of you did a lot to help me. And I know I'm still a mess. But thank you for…for not giving up on me.. I just…no one has ever…tried with me before. I'm really not used to being liked."
Cyborg shrugged simply. "Everyone here has their own struggles. We've all made poor choices at one point or another. And we all have something in our pasts that makes us different. But we're also kind of a family. I mean, check us out. Star's an alien, Raven's a sorceress from another dimension, Beast Boy's a changeling, I'm half-robotic, you've got some kind of elemental power…and Robin's just a plain old, everyday guy. Um, you know, trained by the world's greatest detective in grueling mental and physical skills, of course."
"Nice save." Raven deadpanned, while Starfire hugged her significant other tightly.
"The point being that we're all a little different."
"Not to mention dysfunctional." Raven interjected. She turned to Starfire for backup, but the girl's green-eyes were currently completely captivated by Robin's. "But, we somehow make it work "Speaking of work, what are you making, Cyborg?"
"Battered chicken with my famous garlic red mashed potatoes. Oh, and uh, battered zucchini for the green guy. Speaking of Beast Boy, isn't he going to be rather surprised to see you up and about?"
Terra looked down at the table. "Robin said he's been watching over me for nearly three days straight."
"He has." Raven confirmed.
Robin patted her shoulder. "So now that you're finally out of bed, how do you feel?"
"Tired." Terra yawned for effect. "Groggy. Hungry. But at least I'm out of bed. Do I even want to know what I look like."
Starfire moved over, and hugged Terra from the side in a surprisingly gentle manner. "You look like our friend. Welcome back."
A voice from the staircase greeted them. "Hey, guys, Terra isn't in the medical bay. Is she…" He trailed off at the vision of the gathered Titans in the kitchen, Terra sitting at the table, looking small and wan, but alive. "Terra? TERRA!" He yelled with joy, breaking into a run, leaping into the air, and moving into a cat, landing deftly on the table in front of her.
The feline Beast Boy purred and nuzzled at her cheek affectionately, causing Terra to laugh. "I missed you too." She told him, prompting the cat to hop off the table, morphing back into his normal form.
"Terra! You're okay!"
"Well, I'm something anyway." She smiled, sliding out so he could hug her. She found herself clutching to his form tightly. "Thank you." She whispered, burying her face into the top of his head. "You always believe in me."
"We all believe in you." Beast Boy reiterated, holding her tight, but careful not to squeeze.
"Then I'll try my hardest, this time. With you. And Robin. And Raven and Cyborg and Starfire and-"
"With the Titans." Robin finished for her, ruffling her hair. "Come on, let's let Cyborg get to cooking. I'm sure you and Beast Boy have a lot to catch up on." Robin decided to make a discrete exit from the kitchen, motioning for Raven and Starfire to come with him.
Robin proceeded through the main door, going outside Starfire and Raven looked at each other, Raven shrugging as she followed the Leader. Both women found him looking out over the bay, at the setting sun. "She'll be okay." Robin said, both to himself and his audience.
"Will you?" Raven asked the obvious question.
"Maybe. In time. With help." Robin admitted. "She's chattering like a schoolgirl in my head right now." He chuckled. "I don't suppose she's going to fade, is she?"
"No way of knowing." Raven told him. "You'll need to compartmentalize. If you try to muzzle her, you'll only make it worse. Find a place for her in your head that you can go to when you want her, but where she won't invade your thoughts. Like a room of sorts..
"You can help with that?"
Raven nodded. "I can teach you some techniques. And, maybe a few distractions might help." She let her gaze drift back and forth between Robin and Starfire. "It's a nice sunset…"
Robin took the hint, reaching out for Starfire's hand. "Sure you don't want to come."
"Thanks, but I've never been much for long walks on the beach. I'm more of the late night stroll through a graveyard type." Raven smirked. "See you at supper." She added, floating off to the roof above, no doubt to work in a pre-dinner meditation session.
"You are a good man, Robin." Starfire told him, letting herself be led down to the beach that circled the edges of the island.
"I just do what I feel is right, Star." He told her. "I couldn't be the hero if I were selfish. Besides, I've really only loaned Terra some of my strength. She'll still have to take the steps on her own. We can help and encourage her, but she has to be the one to walk."
Starfire nodded. "Perhaps. But as Cyborg had expressed, we are family. I am most grateful that you are in mine."
"Hey, we're Titans." Robin told her. "We'll always have each other. And we'll always be family." The two joined hands, threading their fingers together and squeezing gently. Starfire seemed to practically squeak in happiness, and the piece of Terra that dwelled within Robin seemed to hum softly, quieting on its own. They didn't come often, but some days were wonderful.
XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo
Raven pulled away from the mirror, shucking the rest of her clothing and stepping into her bath. It was amazing how so simple a thing as warm water against her skin could have such a relaxing feeling. Not that today had been particularly stressful by any means, but this was her sanctuary, even if it likely wouldn't last for long. Sometimes, she felt that both Robin and Rain were allies against her in some kind of game that was going on. Not that she worried about her own ability to keep up, but she did envy Robin's ability to interact with their daughter on a more emotional level. It was hard for her to do so, and she was hampered by more than just destructive empathic powers. So many of her own hopes and been distilled into the little girl, it sometimes made her ponder crying. Rain, she hoped, would be the one to break the cycle. That she would never struggle with her humanity, or be the byproduct of a dark prophecy and unholy union. Rain would be able to live life for its simplest of pleasures, and in those ways, Raven quietly hoped that her daughter would surpass her in every way. The very notion made her feel more at ease. And she closed her eyes, letting her mind focus on a lower level meditation technique as the soap and water washed away her more physical concerns. They had already come so far together as a family, she wouldn't doubt know when they were stronger than ever.
Somewhere outside the bathroom, she heard Robin laughing in tune to the television, with the delicate giggling of Rain For the moment, all was right with the world.
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Author's NotesOk, so it took me a lot longer to update this story than I expected. Mea culpa. I've been trying to figure out this chapter, let it come out of me on its own. And I had other things crowding my head for attention. So this took some time. I also wrote that Danny Phantom Christmas story, so it took me, so I had to switch back to this in my head. Took me awhile to find my legs and get to where I wanted to be with the characters. But lo and behold, it's out. Now just a few days to play with my new PlayStation Vita, and its off to work on the next update. I've got some scenes in my head for Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Terra that I want to take for a test drive, as well as some things on the burner for Starfire, Raven, and Robin. Oh, and Lucky Girl, of course. We don't want to leave her out, she's a singular pleasure to write sometimes.
I'm still pleased whenever I finish a chapter of this story. There's something about the experience of writing it that fascinates me. It's like a story about nothing and everything all at once. I write the chapters to be of substantial length and the plot and character development is coming along relatively on its own. I've got certain scenes I'm building towards, but unlike most everything else I've written, here the journey is the destination. There are probably those out there that read this story and ask why. The only reply that I have is…why not? The study of people being people fascinates me, and so it is one of the central driving themes behind this grand experiment of a fanfic. As long as I continue to do things that everyone hasn't already seen before, then as far as I'm concerned, I'm winning. In the literal, I've-done-what-I-set-out-to-do sense, not the Charlie Sheen sense.
What else to say? Special thanks for the few of you who have looked this over at various stages beforehand, given me encouragement to keep writing, and most of all, to the readers who stick with my idiosyncratic story and watch me continue to produce this thing. Here's hoping that I'm doing something right.
To that end, please feel free to drop me a line, send smoke signals, or better yet, just review this thing and let me know what you think. It will help both of us sleep better at night. Send your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to:
Lord Malachite
2/21/12
5:22AM, EST
E-mail: ranger(underscore)writer(at)yahoo(dot)com
AIM:Asukaphile26
